The Destiny of Amalah

by Thandi Ryan

  ‘Very well, stand the guard down from the searches and let us hope that the man I saw was not in fact Adriel.’

  The Empress gave her orders to the five men but as she had finished her sentence, a strange expression flickered over Michael’s face, one that he had tried to hide.

  ‘But you believe it was Adriel, do you not Michael?’ Amara asked.

  ‘I do Empress,’ he said candidly. ‘I truly believe that the man you saw was Adriel. But Garrick and Häkan are correct. We cannot continue to send the Guard to scour the nations. Adriel has remained hidden for all of this time. I think Adriel cannot be found but rather he will reveal himself when he so wishes. But make no mistake Empress, I am troubled – deeply troubled.’

  ‘I understand your concerns Michael, I truly do but we cannot continue to utilise the guard in this way,’ she said gently.

  Michael nodded with resignation. He knew everyone was right to call off the guard but he knew he was right about Adriel but he left things the way they were.

  Eventually the meeting came to an end and Amara was left alone in the room as the five men went about their work. The guard were given the order to stop the searches and soon, things returned to normal for Amara and the five men, and Adriel, slowly but surely, slipped to the back of everyone’s mind.

  In the days after Kai’s death and Amara’s crowning ceremony, Elana had turned to the few close family and friends that she had, but as time passed by Elana became more of a loner. At first everyone thought she was making progress and overcoming her grief but then suddenly she deteriorated, and physically and mentally, she withdrew into herself.

  Her family and friends tried to comfort and console her and bring her back from her shell, and for a while they helped; but then she began to lose herself again and even her children could not bring her back and this time, she sunk more and more into herself and into the depths of darkness of her mind as she longed for Kai, the love of her life.

  As Elana’s physical and mental health faded day by day, Amara and Ellora became increasingly worried as their mother grew worse each day and was now looking pale and gaunt and clearly unwell.

  Amara called on: Häkan, Michael, Garrick, Thaddeus and Raynor as she could think of no other remedy, or of anyone else who could help their mother. They were her mother’s and her father’s oldest friends and if they could not help, then she was at a loss as to who could. The five men entered her private study room separately and within minutes of each other, and when they had all arrived she beckoned for them to sit down and then joined them at the table.

  ‘How can we help you Empress?’ Garrick asked.

  ‘Please call me Amara, I am here as the daughter of my mother Elana – your friend. As you know my mother has not been well for sometime now, the healers say, that which ails her is not physical but within her own mind and the answer to her healing lies within herself.’ Amara paused and looked steadily at Michael, Garrick and Häkan; she was trying to remain calm but some of the raw emotion that she felt came through in her voice. ‘My mother cannot find the answer herself, she grows worse each day and even though the healers say that my mothers problems lay within her mind you have all seen for yourselves as have I, that physically – she is affected.’

  ‘I see it,’ Michael said sadly. ‘I truly wish I did not but I do.’

  ‘What do you want us to do?’ Garrick asked.

  ‘Help her, bring her back from wherever she is, talk to her, I do not know. All that I know is that you are her oldest friends, she trusts you and I trust you and perhaps you can bring her back to us.’

  ‘Amara I have known your mother for the longest time, I will attempt to find out what ails her,’ Häkan began.

  ‘The death of my father ails her,’ the Empress said flatly.

  ‘Indeed, then I will try and break through to her, but I can only try Amara.’

  ‘Häkan is perhaps the best man to approach your mother,’ Garrick said looking at Amara intently. ‘We can all do our utmost to be there for her but I think that only one of us should talk with her, I fear numerous interventions on our part may only alarm your mother, or perhaps alienate her while she is in this fragile state.’

  ‘Very well,’ Amara said before turning to Häkan. ‘Please, bring her back to us Häkan,’ she said pleadingly; ‘bring her back,’ she said once again before she rose to her feet and went to the door. ‘Thank you.’ She said to them all before she hurried out of the door.

  Amara made her way to her mother’s room but she was not there and so she went to her own room and when she reached there she got into bed and then she burst into tears and sobbed until she could sob no more. She loved her mother dearly and to Amara it looked as though she was going to lose her and in that moment of realisation it felt as though it were only yesterday when she had lost her father. Amara was desperately alone at that time and in so much pain, losing a parent had been so devastating and she did not think that she could stand to lose another.

  Garrick, Häkan and Michael had remained in the room for a short while after the Empress had left them. They talked among themselves exchanging a few words before Häkan left them and went in search of Elana. He found her alone in the palace gardens; she was sat down with her hands in her lap and staring at nothing into space. He approached her slowly and when he was a few yards away from her he let his presence be known to her and he walked around the stone bench that she was sat on until he was facing her.

  ‘Good day Elana,’ he said softly.

  ‘Hello Häkan,’ she replied smiling weakly at him, her sadness showing through it.

  ‘How are you?’

  ‘I have had better days Häkan and there was a time when life was treating me well.’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘It pains me,’ she said looking at him forlornly, the thin smile now gone from her lips and only her sad expression remained.

  ‘Elana,’ Häkan began but Elana cut him off before he could say anything more.

  ‘I do not want to be here.’

  ‘Where?’ Häkan asked.

  ‘Here! On this plane, or any plane without him.’

  ‘Elana please, I know you are grieving and that you are hurting,’ he said tenderly; ‘but it will pass, your pain will abate and things will not seem so bleak. Please, think of your children, they need you, they are scared at this moment in time, scared of losing you; they need you because you are all they have left.’

  ‘I know and I would never leave them in that way Häkan; that is why being here makes it even more torturous,’ she said, her eyes showing just how pained she was. ‘He told me to live here, to love and that he would be waiting. But everyday I wake up and I am disappointed that I have opened my eyes to see yet another new day,’ she said as the tears began to fall once again; ‘and for every hour of that day, I have the same thoughts and feelings,’ she paused, trying to stifle her cries;’ ‘and they are that I do not want to be here without him.’

  ‘Elana,’ Häkan began again, becoming more and more concerned as every word left her lips.

  ‘Do you know? Do you know how much I loved him?’

  ‘I know,’ Häkan said quietly. ‘I was in Parades remember, when you first met and as your guard, I followed you to Mantor and to here. I know Elana, I saw the two of you everyday.’

  ‘Do you know that from the first moment I saw him, that I knew he was the one that I wanted to be with; that he was everything that I wanted in a man and that he turned out to be exactly that. For over twenty-four years he was the centre of my world and when he died I feel as though I died with him.’

  ‘But you didn’t.’

  ‘Oh how I wish I had,’ she said so very aggrieved. ‘I am sorry to tell you this Häkan but that is the way I feel and the grief and the loss does not grow less each day but grows more,’ Elana said desolately. She looked at Häkan and smiled a sad smile.

  ‘Kai trusted you Häkan, you fought by his side and remained unquestioningly loyal to him, me, Amalah and everyt
hing that we stood for. Kai trusted you, Michael and Garrick as well as Thaddeus and Raynor above all others and I trust you all as well; with my life and with my children.

  My husband died at an early age, he was only one year older than we. I do not know what life holds in store for me, or how long any of us have left. If anything happens to me and I am not able to be here for my daughters, I ask that you show Amara and Ellora the same loyalty that you showed to me and to Kai. Look out for them and counsel them well, I trust that you will.’ She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek before she stood up to leave him.

  ‘Your heart is broken Elana, I know that and I see it,’ he said firmly; but the Elana I know; the strong-willed and defiant princess will return. I promise you that. Remember who you are! You are the woman who confronted the Amalayan Order to protect a boy; the woman who travelled through Amalah as a spy, risking her life to change the fate of the nations. The Elana I know would not give up.’

  ‘That Elana seems so far away.’

  ‘She never left,’ said Häkan. ‘Your heart broke and you have lost your bearings but you will come back. You will live to see your children grow, become women. You will see them fall in love and marry and have children of their own and you will bear witness to all of that, for yourself and for Kai.’

  ‘I like the sound of that,’ she said faintly, before she stood up. ‘You are a good friend Häkan and I thank you for your kind words.’

  ‘I will come to this garden each day, as will you and each day we will sit and talk, laugh and cry and day by day, the Elana I know will come back. Will you come to this garden?’

  ‘I will,’ she said bending down and kissing him on the forehead and smiling wanly. ‘But now, I am tired and wish to sleep for a short while.’

  Häkan took hold of her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. When Elana left he sat there alone in his own thoughts for a while before he rose again and went in search of his four friends, who were in Michael’s study.

  ‘What news Häkan?’ Garrick asked.

  ‘She is sad indeed but I think I reached her,’ Häkan said, looking relieved. ‘We will meet everyday in the palace garden and sit and talk. Her heart is broken but her love for her children is stronger than that break.’

  ‘I am so very glad to hear that,’ said Michael.

  ‘As am I,’ said Thaddeus. ‘Amara and Ellora have been through a lot.’

  As the hours passed, Elana had been in a troubled sleep and she awoke, confused and distressed. She sat up but she was in between a dream state and waking state and it took her a while to clear her thoughts and come back to a full waking state.

  ‘Kai,’ she said sadly and then began to weep for him once again.

  Elana rose to her feet and quickly got dressed. She had planned to take walk through the palace and to the stables so she could clear her mind. Lately most of her nights had started with troubled sleep and when she awoke, the rest of the night would be sleepless.

  By now everyone, except for the guards on the perimeter would be asleep. She made her way to the stables and found Tilan, Kai’s horse. He was still awake and he too seemed to miss Kai.

  ‘You miss him too don’t you,’ Elana said, stroking his head and chin. ‘I know. How about we keep each other company,’ she said, as she continued to stroke his head.

  Tilan began to snort and shift nervously and began trying to get out of the stable.

  ‘It’s ok Tilan,’ Elana said soothingly. ‘There’s nothing there.’ But Tilan became more agitated and began neighing and standing on his hind legs. Elana moved into the barn to see what the problem was and she continued to pat Tilan along his body to try and keep him calm. ‘There’s nothing here,’ she said, trying to reassure herself and the horse. She moved slowly towards the rear of the stable and saw a dark shadow. ‘Nothing to worry about,’ she said but then the shadow disappeared and reappeared in front of her.’

  ‘It’s not nice to be called nothing!’

  ‘Adriel!’ Elana screamed.

  ‘Silentium!’ he snapped, turning a terrified Elana mute and then freezing her from the neck down. ‘Missing your beloved are we?’ he mocked. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll soon join him.’

  Elana began frantically shaking her head and the tears began streaming down her face. ‘Please,’ she mouthed. ‘Please don’t, my children…’

  ‘I know, they will be devastated – destroyed even,’ he said grinning slightly. ‘You, your damn husband and friends ruined everything and now I have to start again. Know this though dear princess, your children will miss you and your death is just the start of what I have in store for them – which is destruction, in case you were wondering.’

  ‘No,’ Elana begged.

  ‘Begging on mute,’ Adriel mused. ‘I’ll have to remember that for the next war. Any last words – except for begging of course?’ Elana nodded her head. Then speak, he said, returning a whisper to her voice.

  ‘You will fail because ultimately Adriel…’

  ‘…I don’t know love,’ he said in a bored tone. ‘Please spare me that tiresome lecture about love,’ he said with disdain. ‘Really, is this what you wish to waste your last words on?’

  ‘And it makes you weak!’ she finished. ‘It makes you weak in a way you will never comprehend,’ Elana said with newfound defiance and strength. ‘My children will go on and you, your sad and miserable life will come to a pitiful end – it is the only and inevitable outcome for you,’ she finished.

  Elana’s words hit a nerve with Adriel and she had managed to invoke some ire within him and he hated her for invoking that reaction.

  ‘My pitiful end will come long after your immediate one,’ he snarled and then he threw an energy bolt at Tilan causing him to kick out his rear legs, one of which struck Elana forcefully on the forehead killing her instantly. Adriel unfroze her and she fell to the ground at Tilan’s feet.

  It was a stable boy who found Elana’s lifeless body in the morning. Tilan was standing over Elana and neighing quietly and desperately. The stable boy immediately called for Amara and Michael and the two of them came rushing to the stable.

  ‘Mother!’ Amara screamed as she threw herself down to where her mother lay. ‘Mother, no, oh please no,’ she cried, as she tried to rouse her. ‘Michael please, not her too, not her too.’

  Michael knelt down beside Amara to comfort her.

  ‘I am so sorry,’ he said, himself clearly grieved by Elana’s death. ‘There is nothing you can do for her now Amara,’ he said in a low voice. ‘We will take care of her,’ he said as he tried to coax Amara away from her mother but she remained where she was, stroking her mother’s hair and holding on to her.

  ‘It looks as though something startled the horse and he kicked out,’ the stable boy said. ‘I don’t think he did it on purpose.’

  Amara rose to her feet and looked at the stable boy.

  ‘What would have startled him?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m not sure Empress,’ he admitted. ‘Could have been a noise or an animal.’

  ‘It is a bitter irony indeed that the animal who gave my mother great comfort would be the same animal who caused her demise,’ she said, as she turned to look at Tilan and then back to Michael and the stable boy.

  ‘Do you wish the horse to be put down?’ the stable boy asked, as he and Michael looked at Amara.

  Amara looked at Tilan once again, seeing him now, saddened her deeply. ‘No, my father and mother loved him so and brought them joy. I will not destroy, that which they loved. If something startled him, it is not his fault.’

  ‘Yes Empress.’

  ‘See that he gets a good home though,’ she said to the stable boy. ‘I do not think I can look upon him any longer.’

  The stable boy nodded, bowed and then left Amara and Michael alone. Amara turned back to look at her mother and then knelt down beside her once again.

  ‘ ‘She is with our father now,’ Amara sad softly and sadly.

  Although she knew her mother ha
d found her father, she still grieved for her. She touched the bruised lump on her mother’s forehead and let out a cry. She took her mothers cold hand in hers and held it for a while; she stroked her hair and then kissed her on both cheeks before she gently placed her hands across her stomach. She rose to her feet and turned to face Michael. Michael was about to speak but they both heard Ellora’s cries grow louder as she grew nearer too them. Michael rushed to the stable door to see Ellora running towards him.

  ‘Ellora, it is best that you do not go in,’ Michael warned.

  ‘Is mother alright?’ Ellora asked.

  Amara came to the stable door, opened it and stepped through.

  ‘No,’ Ellora screamed. ‘No, no, no.’

  ‘Ellora,’ Amara called, reaching out towards her.

  ‘I know,’ she cried. ‘I can feel your pain, I know.’

  ‘I am so sorry,’ said Michael.

  ‘Mother!’ Ellora cried. ‘What happened?’

  ‘Tilan must have been startled,’ began Michael; ‘your mother was behind him at the time and he kicked out.’

  ‘Why?’ she wailed. ‘Why both of them and why now?’

  Amara went to hug her sister to comfort her.

  ‘No,’ Ellora said stepping back.

  ‘Ellora it’s ok, I was just…’

  ‘I know,’ said Ellora; ‘but I can feel your pain and I can feel Michael’s and I have my own. Please, both of you, just stay away from me,’ Ellora said running away from them both, her hysterical cries haunting Amara and Michael.

  ‘Ellora,’ Amara cried out. ‘Oh god, Michael, I can’t…I can’t.’ and then Amara began to cry uncontrollably and Michael took her in his arms and held her while she cried for the loss of another parent and for not being able to be close to Ellora.

  ‘I am truly sorry Empress,’ said Michael as he held on to her. ‘I know this is so much sorrow for you to bear, more than anyone should have to bear and I know it is of little consolation to you now but if you need anything from me I will be here for you. Let me take you back to your room, I can sit with you, or you can have some time to yourself if you would like. I will inform: Garrick, Häkan, Raynor and Thaddeus and do what needs to be done this day.’