The Destiny of Amalah

by Thandi Ryan

  ‘Thank you,’ Amara said through sobs.

  Michael and Amara began walking away from the stables but they stopped when they saw: Häkan, Garrick and Raynor, who were all grim faced and ashen.

  ‘We just heard…’ Häkan began; ‘is it true?’

  Michael nodded: ‘I’m afraid so.’

  Häkan’s eyes moistened and he looked forlornly at Michael and then Amara. ‘Empress, I am so sorry,’ said Häkan as he gently squeezed her shoulder.

  Amara nodded.

  ‘Is there anything we can do?’ asked Garrick.

  ‘We need to make arrangements,’ said Michael.

  ‘Of course,’ said Raynor.

  ‘Ellora,’ Amara whispered. ‘Ellora needs…she won’t come near me…she is…’

  ‘The empath in Ellora meant that she was feeling her sisters pain as well as her own,’ said Michael. ‘She could not bear…’ he began but then trailed off.

  ‘Can one of you be with her?’ Amara asked.

  ‘I will go to her,’ said Garrick.

  ‘Thank you,’ Amara replied and then she let go of Michael. ‘If you will excuse me, I will be in my quarters,’ she said emotionally and then she walked away from the men and made her way to her quarters.

  As the rest of the day wore on, Michael and Häkan made arrangements for Elana’s body, while Garrick comforted Ellora and Amara remained alone in her room, crying for her mother and her father. Michael checked in on her throughout the day and the evening but always, she wished to be left alone and he left after five minutes or so. Amara wanted to be with her sister but she knew that her own pain was unbearable and she could not begin to imagine having to feel her siblings at the same time.

  The time soon came for Elana’s funeral but unlike Kai’s funeral of the nations, Elana had a small low-key burial and she was buried next to Kai. Her two daughters, her loyal friends, the council and the five boys were all in attendance to say their farewells. Ellora held onto Amara throughout the burial and the service and when it was over, she ran from her parent’s graveside to her room.

  ‘I will go to her,’ Michael said.

  ‘Thank you Michael, but no. I will find Ellora, she needs me right now.’

  ‘Very well.’

  Amara turned and hurried towards her sisters’ room, she quickly climbed the long winding staircase to the first floor and made her way along the balcony passage. When she reached Ellora’s room she tapped gently on the door and placed her ear against it, she heard no answer, only the cries of her younger sister and she grimaced momentarily before she pushed the door open. She hurriedly walked towards Ellora who was lying on the bed face down, so she sat aside her and stroked her hair and her back.

  ‘Ellora,’ she said softly

  ‘Go away,’ Ellora yelled. Amara ignored her sister’s demands and walked over to where her sister was and sat down on her bed and held her. ‘Why Amara, why?’ Ellora questioned. ‘I do not understand why we lost both of our parents. What did we do?’

  ‘Ellora don’t think like that. It was nothing that we did, I promise you,’ Amara said vehemently. ‘Our father fell ill and our mother was in a tragic accident. It was nothing that we did. I know this is a sad day for you and your heart is heavy because that is how I feel too but I also know that our parents are together, wherever they are they are together and our mother is finally at peace.’

  ‘I want her back Amara, I miss her already,’ Ellora said in between sobs.

  ‘I know you do,’ Amara said.

  ‘I need to be by myself, just leave me alone – please.’

  ‘Very well,’ Amara said rising to her feet. ‘Whenever you need me I will be there for you. I love you Ellora,’ Amara said emphatically. ‘I know I am not mother or father but I am here for you and I will always love you and take care of you and protect you.’

  ‘I know and I love you too Amara,’ Ellora said stifling her sobs long enough to speak a few words; ‘but please, I need to be alone for a while.’

  Amara blew her sister a kiss and left her alone.

  Amara returned to the Great Hall and talked with the guests for a while but she could not bear to be around people in that moment in time, so she made her excuses and left.

  Thaddeus, Raynor, Häkan, Michael and Garrick once again sat in the Guard Commanders room drinking mead. The mood was sombre and a melancholy had settled across the palace. The five sat staring into their mead, speaking only occasionally.

  ‘It is a cruel and bitter irony that Elana saw a glimmer of hope and her life was taken from her,’ Häkan said sadly. ‘We had talked of her seeing her children getting married and having grandchildren and the future.’

  ‘It is a sad day indeed,’ said Thaddeus.

  ‘That they have both gone within a short time of each other,’ said Michael. ‘Two people in this world who I loved so dearly.’

  ‘We feel your pain,’ said Garrick. ‘It is a sad time for us all,’ he said quietly.

  ‘Especially for Amara and Ellora,’ said Raynor.

  Ellora remained in her room, alone until the early evening and then she ventured downstairs. She roamed around the palace for sometime and then she ventured out into the gardens and even when the night turned chilly she did not retreat back inside: instead she continued to walk until she came to the beginnings of the palace forest. She walked for a few minutes until she reached the oldest oak tree in Amalah and when she got there she saw that Rakan was sat under it, reading. She looked at him and he at her and he stood up and walked towards her and took her in his arms.

  ‘No need for words princess, I know,’ he said holding onto her tightly and as he held her, she crumbled into his arms and sobbed until she could sob no more.

  They both sat under the tree for hours and in silence at first and then came intermittent words and then a conversation.

  ‘Amara says that our mother has joined our father and that she is at peace now,’ Ellora said distantly.

  ‘Perhaps, your parents were in love Ellora you saw that for yourself we all saw that they belonged together.’

  ‘True, but it doesn’t hurt any less knowing that they have both gone and left us here alone.’

  ‘It may feel like it now but you are not alone, you have your sister, me, Kalon and our friends and there are those in the palace who were loyal to your father who will protect and look out for you and your sister.’

  ‘What do you think happens to us when we die Rakan?’

  ‘Honestly, I don’t know. The world, let alone the universe or anything beyond that is beyond my comprehension, although I think that there is something after death; I think and I feel that it is so, that there are gods and that we are more than physical and thus we must go on in one way or another.’

  ‘Do you think we get to live again?’

  ‘Yes I do, I think that perhaps some go off to the skies or stars or heavens and others perhaps get to go through life again.’

  ‘I think so too, I know it sounds strange but sometimes I think I have already known you and the others. It is like I have known you before, before I was Ellora.’

  ‘It is not strange. I think anything is possible. I know we are not joined by blood as I am to Kalon and you are to Amara but we are somehow joined, I feel it, I know it and it is as though we were somehow brothers and sisters and friends before, or something like that.’

  Rakan and Ellora talked until the late evening and when the talking came to an end Ellora felt slightly better. Her grief was still very much with her, but Rakan had given her comfort and solace and she felt she could face the next day. When they decided to head back to the palace Rakan helped Ellora up from the ground and escorted her back to the palace and to her room.

  ‘Goodnight princess, if there is anything I can do for you at all then I will do it, just ask and it shall be done.

  ‘Thank you Rakan,’ she said looking into his eyes. ‘I would be lost without you.’

  They hugged each other and Ellora kissed him on the cheek bef
ore she turned and went back into her room, she turned again and smiled at Rakan, bidding him goodnight before she turned back and stepped into her room and when the door closed he made his way back to his own room.

  Ellora climbed onto her bed and lay down. She closed her eyes and thoughts of her mother and father came rushing into her mind. She could see them vividly in her head and it pained her to know that she would only have memories of them and she began weeping silently for her parents.

  ‘I miss you so much,’ she said sadly.

  Chapter 11

  The bad times make you, sometimes they break you, but mostly it is a time to show yourself and others who you truly are; that is how it was then and that is how it is now.

  Ellora grieved openly for her parents and her friends, the five men and her sister were all there to support and comfort her. They were there for Amara as well but grief and duty had made her angry and resentful and her perception of her world had changed.

  She recalled when her father had been dead for less than an hour, when destiny and duty had been thrust upon her. In the height of her grief, she had become leader of the nine nations; royal commander of the guard and leader of the world council. The death of her mother had been an unexpected blow and it had shaken her to the core and left her privately devastated. Once again, she did not have time to grieve for herself.

  To Amara it seemed as though her feelings and thoughts had become irrelevant to everyone else’s. Messages and implications came to the forefront of her mind.

  You are the Empress now,’ the voices said to her.

  ‘There are no time for tears,’ she told herself.

  ‘We are looking to you to lead us,’ the un-stated expressions would say.

  And lead she did! Initially, Amara threw herself into her work, ignoring her feelings of grief and anger, putting her feelings aside and becoming who she was destined to be: undertaking all her duties – not to mention being a sister and surrogate parent to Ellora.

  But that’s herein lies the problem with human emotions; you can’t just put them aside like a leftover meal, especially the intense ones because, from my experience of humanity – your emotions can turn into something quite different, malevolent even – I have seen it so many times before in your past, present and future. Day after day, Amara kept her feelings bottled up. She felt truly alone in the world and even though Michael was by her side, she would not reach out to him.

  To outsiders she looked as though she was coping extremely well, a shining example of courage and stoicism, oh how they admired her – if only they had known! Amara however knew differently, feelings of bitterness and anger began to intensify in the young Empress and the vicious circle soon began. She wanted to keep up appearances and appear as the stoic Empress but the more she engaged with her act, the more resentful she became that no one knew, or understood what she was going through.

  Amara continued going through the motions of day-to-day life. She attended all of the council meetings, made journeys throughout Amalah and to the nations; she took care of all the decision making that needed to be done, not to mention taking care of Ellora through it all.

  Oh what a busy bee she was, there was no time for herself, for leisure or fun. After a few months those feelings that Amara had tried so hard to suppress, began to surface; slowly at first but then they would increase in size and frequency. Life in the palace had become increasingly busy of late, especially for Amara and when each day became more demanding than the next the Empress began to get irritable.

  Every now and then Amara would snap at someone; a courtier, a maid a guard. Soon she would become impatient with Michael or Garrick or Häkan. Thaddeus and Raynor had, for work reasons been kept away from the palace for a while but when they returned, she lost patience with them too. Everyone in the palace noticed the change in the Empress and Michael among others, became concerned.

  ‘Empress is everything alright?’ Michael asked her one day.

  ‘As far as I know Michael – why?’

  ‘I mean are you alright Empress? You don’t seem to be yourself lately.’

  ‘Really,’ she said edgily.’

  Michael caught the edge in her voice and chose his words very carefully: ‘Empress, you have been working incredibly hard for the last few months. So soon after losing your parents, you were thrown into your duties, not to mention looking after Ellora. Perhaps you should consider taking a break for a while or slowing things down, such pressure – I feel – is beginning to take its toll on you.’

  ‘Perhaps I don’t need to slow down Michael, perhaps people, the people who work for me ought to speed up. They have tasks assigned to them; they should do them – quickly. If they did, I would not get annoyed.’

  ‘Empress…’

  ‘Yes Michael,’ she said cutting him off. ‘Are you going to tell me how upset those who work for me are?’

  ‘Empress, some of the staff have been reduced to tears.’

  ‘Perhaps if they spent less time whining to you then they would have more time to do their work properly and if you…’

  She stopped herself from finishing that sentence; she did not want to attack Michael, not now not ever. She looked at him again before she spoke. ‘Palace life is a busy life, those who cannot maintain the required level of work are free to leave.’

  ‘Empress their work was always to your liking in the past.’

  ‘That was the past.’

  ‘I am concerned. Concerned for you Empress, you say you are…’

  ‘Enough!’ she snapped at him. ‘I am a patient woman Michael but I will no longer have this conversation.’

  ‘I think that we should’ Michael said firmly. ‘I implore you…’

  ‘Michael you forget who is the sovereign in this situation,’ Amara said cutting him off. ‘When I say the conversation is over – the conversation is over. Now leave me.’

  Michael looked at Amara with a mixture of defiance and determination. ‘I will leave you now Empress but know this – my only concern is for you and I will protect you – even if it is from yourself.’

  ‘How dare you,’ she shouted. ‘The only reason why I have not called the guard to throw you in a dungeon this very instant is because you were my fathers closest friend and you have been good to me and Ellora but do not push me Michael.’

  Michael held her gaze and the two of them stared at each other for the longest time, neither of them wanting to back down. The tense and charged atmosphere was only broken when Ellora burst into the room.

  ‘Amara,’ she called, her voice diffusing the tension in the room. Ellora barely noticed what she had done, until she caught the tone in her sister’s voice.

  ‘Ellora what is it?’ Amara said annoyed, not breaking the stare with Michael.

  ‘I came to see you before I went to bed for the night. I have not seen you all day and I never saw you yesterday.’

  ‘I will come and see you in your bedroom Ellora, but for now please leave Michael and I alone for a few minutes.’

  ‘There is no need Empress,’ Michael said, still holding her gaze. ‘I am sure that which needs to be said can be said another day.’ Michael looked down at Ellora to see her gazing up at him and smiling; he smiled back at her and knelt down so that he was not towering over her. ‘Goodnight princess, I hope you have wonderfully sweet dreams.’

  ‘Thank you Michael, you are so kind,’ she said as she stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek. He kissed her on the forehead and then stood up to face Amara; he held her stare before he spoke again.

  ‘I bid you goodnight Empress. May the night bring you peace,’ he said before bowing and turning on his heel and leaving Amara and Ellora in her study.

  Amara did not reply, she simply watched Michael’s back as he left and Ellora looked at her sister curiously.

  ‘Amara, why did you not say goodnight to Michael?’

  ‘He doesn’t need me too,’ she replied quietly.

  ‘But it would have been nice to,’ Ellor
a said slightly chiding her sister.

  ‘Perhaps! Well I will say goodnight to you,’ Amara said moving her gaze from the door to Ellora before smiling faintly.

  Amara moved towards her sister and when she was close she put her arm around her shoulders.

  ‘Come now princess Ellora,’ she said playfully, ‘it is time for you to go to bed.’

  Ellora giggled and left the study with her sister and when she got to her room Amara put her to bed. When Amara had said goodnight to Ellora she made her way to the balcony on the first floor of the main palace and looked out into the gardens. She could see much of Amalah from where she was and she gazed out to the land before her, taking in the sky and the stars above and then she gazed at the moon and let her thoughts wander, but soon her thoughts came back to one person – Michael.

  They had never fought before or had angry words and they had been friends for so long. She bad for the way she had spoken to him but she had also felt defensive and hurt when he had tried to confront her. Amara was confused and she so wanted to turn to Michael, but right now he was the one person she needed advice about. She didn’t know how to handle any conflict with him and the thought of losing him, scared her.

  She smiled a sardonic smile at her dilemma. She could not bear to see him upset or angry at her any more than she could bear him upsetting or angering her. She looked up at the skies once again and remained there for hours just looking and thinking and when yawns began to creep up on her she took one last look upwards at the sky and the stars and then turned her back on them. She closed the double doors behind her and then made her way to her bedroom and hoped that tomorrow would be easier.

  The day began again and once again Amara worked from sunrise to sunset. She had not seen Michael in that time and she wondered where he might be, but seconds later her questions were answered when he knocked and entered her study room and stood in front of her.