Near Perfection [Aspire 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Allyson Young

  “I’ll leave the color, Gordon,” she told him. “One thing at a time.”

  She wasn’t prepared for the way he took her hand and kissed the back of her wrist, the tip of his tongue touching the little pulse point there. Once again, her senses responded. She pulled her hand away and backed toward the door.

  “I’m hungry.”

  Gordon nodded and came to open the door for her. Haley appreciated how he hadn’t pushed, although a part of her wondered if it would have been okay. Nope, rebound sex was a bad idea. And Gordon had already made it clear that he wasn’t interested in anything of a short-term nature. And she wasn’t ready to even think about any kind of a relationship.

  Dinner was nearly as much fun as the shopping excursion, although the food wasn’t up to par in her estimation. The restaurant was nicely done though, and the service impeccable. Haley alternately found herself wondering how Warren was doing and then feeling free and light, having had an exhausting year of pretending that things were always freaking peachy, except when she caught Gordon looking at her with eyes full of desire. He wasn’t handsome by many standards, but his craggy features and deep-set dark eyes gave him a brooding, sensual appearance. He had a way of focusing on a person that made one feel important and very special. Haley remembered that Gordon was someone high up in an insurance company and supposed his interest in people and his excellent social skills came from that type of work. She shivered under that look of his, and it was a really pleasurable feeling.

  Gordon’s dark hair had a few silver ones patterning his temples, but the rest was shiny with health and curled slightly at his collar. He was big and muscular, his shoulders broad and heavy with sinew and bone. Even his hands were blocky and strong, although Haley remembered how gentle they had been when he had prepared her… She shut that thought down immediately. Gordon smelled fresh somehow, and his scent enveloped her. Haley began to wonder at her sanity. She had walked out on the love of her life that very morning, and here she was being drawn to a man she had known only casually, albeit for over six years. And he had been as close to her as any man had ever been just three weeks ago. She was really some kind of nutcase. Was this total rebound or what?

  “Thinking hard, little one?” Gordon’s question broke into her thoughts.

  Haley felt telltale pink creeping up her neck and into her cheeks. She resolved to be honest. “I was just looking at you. I guess I was checking you out, Gordon, and I have to wonder what on earth I’m doing! Am I so very shallow?”

  “Maybe it’s more what I’m doing, Haley,” he answered, a smile lighting his dark features. “I told you my intentions this afternoon. I’m too selfish to allow you time to grieve, little one.”

  Haley sipped some water. “I want to be friends with you, Gordon. I want to get to know you. I’ll admit to a physical attraction. After all, you’ve seen me naked, you’ve touched parts of me few others have touched, and you fucked me in front of a large number of Club members. I came, thanks to you. I know it. You needn’t protest. But I’m asking you to be my friend. I make a good friend, not that I’ve had much practice for a while. So?”

  Gordon nodded his head. “But I can’t promise that I won’t make a move on you if I feel it is the right time, Haley. Are we clear on that?”

  Haley nodded. “And there’s the Dom, Gordon. I’m not so sure I want to be a sub.”

  “Stop it, Haley. You are most definitely a submissive. I am certain that it doesn’t extend far out of the bedroom, however. But you are a sub sexually, Haley. Don’t presume to insult or challenge my assessment.”

  Haley lowered her eyes and said nothing. Her pussy clenched, and her juices flowed. Gordon had the knack. He knew exactly what to say for her to respond. That hint of punishment made her so wet. What she didn’t know was if it was totally her training causing the response or if it went deeper. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to find out. This not thinking about Warren was taking its toll.

  They prepared to leave, and Gordon escorted Haley toward the door, his hand resting in the small of her back. Haley again felt cherished and relaxed, and, importantly, more like herself. Warren had treated her with the same courtesy, and she felt cherished and relaxed with him, too. It was too confusing. When they reached the maître d’, she reached into her purse and pulled out her card. She handed it to him and asked him to pass it on to the owner.

  “I am a chef,” she announced, using a tone to ensure that he knew to pay attention. “I would welcome a call should you be requiring someone to create better fare than was served tonight. I am between restaurants.”

  The man assessed her and Gordon in a glance. He bowed slightly and in an atrocious French accent assured her that he would pass her card on to Mr. Lewis. He apologized for anything that hadn’t met her standards and looked crushed when she thanked him prettily in French. Gordon was laughing uncontrollably by the time the valet brought the car around.

  “That was great, Haley. I told you your submissiveness didn’t extend past the bedroom. You’ll be getting a call tomorrow, or I’ll be totally surprised.”

  They drove home in companionable silence. The events of the day were taking their toll, and Haley longed to sleep, although was certain she wouldn’t be able to. She turned down Gordon’s offer of a nightcap, and they mounted the stairs to the bedrooms together. It felt strange to Haley, and yet not uncomfortable. Gordon pecked her cheek at the door of the first guest bedroom. Haley knew that he would never enter it without her permission or her request, and it both comforted and reassured her. She pecked him back and smiled before closing the door. She had a mountain of clothing to hang up and put away, makeup to open and sort, and even some costume jewelry to unpack. She put her hand up to her throat involuntarily and as quickly tore it away. The toilet thing had been a juvenile reaction on her part, and she regretted it. It was done, however.

  She then bit back a smile at the thought of Warren’s reaction should he ever learn about what she had done with his gift and then impatiently brushed the subsequent tears from her cheeks. She couldn’t keep crying for him. She steadily worked at putting things away and just didn’t think, trying to exhaust herself.

  Once the room was again tidy, Haley slipped into the queen-size bed and snuggled into the crisp linens. The emotion of the day then caught up with her, and she cried with abandon. She cried over losing Warren, she cried because she missed her mom, she cried because she had lied to herself for so long, but most of all she cried out of exhaustion. She then worried for an instant that sleep would elude her but soon felt the familiar drifting sensation that signaled the wine she had consumed at dinner was working in conjunction with her incredible release of emotion. Her last thought was of Warren. What was he doing?

  Chapter Four

  Warren paced his New York office, waiting for the car that would take him to the airport. He had taken care of the few issues that actually required his attention and now turned his formidable intellect on the real problem, Haley. Or rather, his relationship with Haley, although it appeared that the relationship was over from her perspective. His PA had e-mailed to advise that a cashier’s check in the amount of twenty-five thousand had arrived at his office two days after she had deposited that amount in Haley’s account. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to connect the dots. Madeline hadn’t come up with an address for Haley’s possessions either, despite calling her cell and asking for a call back. Warren was torn on that front. He wanted Haley to have her things and yet hoped she might return to find things just the way they were left. Warren had cautiously taken a second look at his epiphany the second day he woke up alone in New York. He still didn’t know if Haley was the woman he wanted forever, but he missed her and wasn’t ready to let her go. Perhaps that made him more selfish. He wasn’t sure. He found himself wondering what parts of her personality were real and what parts she had hidden from him in order to meet his needs. Warren thought he understood that Haley had wanted to be with him badly, and that she believed that she loved
him enough to become the person he thought he wanted.

  Therein lay the rub. Warren didn’t much care for the entire person he had recently come to recognize as himself. Haley’s actions had stripped him bare somehow, and he was both thankful to her for it and slightly resentful. He had had what he believed to be a good life, a predictable life, and now everything had changed. It shouldn’t feel exhilarating in any way, but it did. He only hoped he had enough of whatever it took to make his way down this new path. But first, he had to find Haley. They had to talk. And he needed her back in his bed.

  * * * *

  Haley was ensconced in the kitchen of Enrico’s, having handily displaced the chef who had allowed overcooked vegetables and poorly flavored steak to leave his kitchen. The owner had called her cell the day after she had teased the maître d’, and the subsequent interview landed her the chef’s position for the day after that. Negotiating a handsome salary was simple when she shared her résumé with Mr. Lewis and promised him a full year of her talent unless he chose to dismiss her for good cause. It felt wonderful to set her own terms, and she closed her mind as to how it reflected her contract with Warren. This was different. If she screwed up, then she should be let go. She hadn’t screwed up with Warren. Well, yes she had. She hadn’t been herself, had hidden from him. So she really couldn’t blame him for being so emotionally aloof. Maybe if she had been her whole self, then Warren would have loved her. Or sent her packing sooner. It hurt her head to wonder about it.

  Haley ruled her new domain with absolute authority, tempered with common sense. Her staff already appeared to accept her and welcome the change, with the exception of Jeffrey, her sous chef. He seemed to go out of his way to be difficult and thwart her. However, she thought she could manage him. There was considerable work to do, but Haley was receptive to it. Gordon’s attentions also distracted her from thinking too much about Warren, but she dreamed about him and certain things would set her off as she remembered something he had said or done. The smell of citrus brought her to tears every single time. It was a good thing Warren hadn’t favored garlic, considering how prevalent that ingredient was in much of her cooking! Haley missed their time together as much as the dominant sex, and she wished she knew how he was doing. The evening orders began to flow in, and Haley was able to concentrate on the streamlined menu.

  “Chef!” Haley turned to see Richard, the maître d’, gesturing from the door.

  “Chef! Do you have a moment to come and accept the compliments from table six?” he asked.

  Haley checked the front of her white jacket and decided to slip on a spotless one. Her headgear was still in good shape. She followed Richard and stood for a moment listening to the appreciative comments of the four satisfied diners. One confided that he had thought never to return because of a poor meal he had been served the week before, but was really glad he had taken another chance. Haley graciously accepted their accolades, declined a drink, and excused herself, nodding at various patrons as she made her way back to the kitchen. It had been a long, if rewarding night, and she wanted to make sure her orders and menus for the next day were clear before she went home for the night. Home. Gordon’s house really wasn’t home, was it? Haley didn’t want it to feel that way, although the old heritage house was so warm and comforting and Gordon made her feel so welcome, almost as if he didn’t have sexual designs on her. Right. And pigs flew. She found herself lusting after Gordon, even as he was being the kind, consummate gentleman. But he wasn’t Warren. What was it with her that she still hoped that man would figure it out and become the person she believed he could be? She wasn’t ready to let anyone close again, not for a long time, except she was young, and healthy, and her body missed the sex. Masturbating didn’t fulfill her.

  Gordon wasn’t pushing her, but he was present somehow. And it was really hard not to feel him. Haley thought she might look for her own place once she put more money aside because she was scared of committing and getting hurt again, even though she knew Gordon wasn’t like that. Once bitten twice shy seemed to be her motto, however. The money Warren had deposited would have come in handy, but earning it on her back, and in various other positions, felt quite repugnant, and she had felt no small measure of satisfaction in returning it. Haley still had her pride, even if she burst into tears on occasion. She didn’t have time to nurse her heart. Even her phone call to Madeline, to reassure the housekeeper that she was fine, had been terribly difficult. Madeline had been so relieved to hear from her and had actually cried a little. They had promised to meet for coffee, and Madeline told Haley that she wasn’t about to tell Master Warren that she had called. The elderly woman had muttered about fools and men and said some other things that made Haley laugh and weep at the same time.

  “Haley!”

  She turned at the sound of her name.

  “It is you! I thought it was, although your hair is different, and that uniform… You’re the chef?”

  Haley smiled at Muriel Presner. “Hello, Muriel.” She nodded at Knox, Muriel’s husband. “How was dinner?” she asked.

  Knox said, “It was terrific, Haley. Good to see you again. I didn’t think it was you in that outfit, but Muriel insisted.” He patted his wife’s hand affectionately.

  Haley kept a straight face when she remembered Knox’s particular sexual interests he assuaged at the Club. It took one to know one. Muriel chattered on about the wonderful food and the service and how the restaurant was divinely decorated while Haley nodded at appropriate times. Finally, Muriel asked what was clearly nearly making her burst.

  “I didn’t know that Warren would allow you to work, Haley?”

  Haley smiled again, keeping everything well under control. “Warren and I aren’t together anymore, Muriel. And this is my career. What I do.”

  Muriel flushed and narrowed her eyes, and Knox patted her hand harder. Haley kept smiling.

  “Well, you do it well,” Knox acknowledged.

  Muriel spoke up again. “I didn’t mean to infer that this was a hobby or some sort of demeaning thing, Haley. I apologize if I offended you.”

  Haley reassured her and upped her estimate of the woman. “Not at all. I’m glad you came tonight.”

  She could feel their eyes on her as she completed her stroll and made it through the doors into the kitchen without meeting anyone else she knew. They weren’t bad people, just curious, she supposed. It was just unfortunate that now everyone at the Club would know about her and Warren. She would have spared him that, allowing him to tell people what he chose. Haley angrily shook her head. Why the hell she still worried about Warren, she couldn’t say. She was kidding herself. She missed him so much. And now Warren would find out where she worked, sooner than later. The Club was a hotbed of gossip, much like any other place that people congregated, regardless of their interests. Haley didn’t think he would want to see her again, considering how cold he had been when she left him, but he had tried to pay her off, and she had effectively spit in his eye. Warren didn’t like it when things didn’t go the way he thought they should. Well, she wasn’t his sub anymore. And she wasn’t the same woman she had made herself into for him anymore either. And she needed to stop thinking about him and dry her eyes and organize the troops. The kitchen wouldn’t clean itself.

  * * * *

  Haley slipped out the back door of the restaurant and scanned the lot. She felt pleasantly tired and pleased with how things were going. She spotted Gordon sitting in his car under a light in the lot, reading the paper. He picked her up after work every night rather than allow her to take a cab, or God forbid, the bus, considering the late hour. Haley felt cherished and didn’t argue with him, although she did raise her concerns about how his social life would be impacted. Gordon had simply smiled at her, and the look in his eyes now made her knees weak. He still hadn’t touched her in any way that could be construed as sexual, but he had that presence, and Haley felt it keenly. It stood to reason that Gordon couldn’t replace Warren in her affections, but he was b
eginning to ease his way in to stand shoulder to shoulder with her errant thoughts about Warren. He hadn’t talked about his friend or shared any of his secrets, and Haley respected him enormously for that, despite her curiosity. Aside from the first day when she had unloaded on Gordon, Haley hadn’t talked about Warren either. When the tears came, Gordon would hold her until she cried herself out or let her go and deal with things her own way. He seemed to know intuitively what she needed at the time. And Haley was slowly but surely building defenses against her heartbreak over Warren as time went by and she allowed herself to be her real self again.

  Gordon got out of the car and went around to open her door and hand her inside, just as Warren used to do. He made sure she fastened the seat belt before closing the door. He got back in, and she watched him buckle up and then drive out of the lot with his usual competence, his big hands resting on the steering wheel. Haley’s breath hitched as she looked at his hands. He was a true caring Dom, taking care of her, looking out for her, even if he didn’t demand submission outside of the bedroom. Haley brought her thoughts under control immediately. She refused to be so damn needy.

  “How was your evening, little one?” he asked.

  Haley smiled at him. It was easy to do. Gordon was simply a wonderful person.

  She could almost pretend that he wasn’t a Dom, too, until he looked at her in a certain way and her body responded.

  “It was busy, but that’s how I like it,” she said. “I ran into some people who know me, though, Gordon, and they know Warren as well. And you, too, as they’re members of the Club. I doubt he’ll care enough to do anything if he hears from them that I work at Enrico’s, but I thought you should know. He won’t be pleased that I’m living in your home. Although I didn’t tell them that I was. Living with you I mean. In your house. Anyway, I thought you should know. Because, well, I just wanted to tell you.”