No Regrets: Jani Kay (Firebird Trilogy Book 2)

by Jani Kay

  All the air whooshed from my lungs as if Chloe had punched me in the gut. I clenched down on my teeth, ready to snap. What in God’s name was I doing? Leaving Rebecca with Alain, behind closed doors. Sweet Jesus.

  She asked me to trust her.

  “It's a risk. I know there is a chance I may lose this round, but it's not up to us, Chloe. If Rebecca wants the Frenchman...fuck...I don’t even want to think about it.”

  “Go back in there, Maxwell. Get Rebecca away from Alain.” She spurred me on, wildness in her eyes told me there was something more going on than I was aware of. She turned back toward the room as if she wanted back in.

  I gripped her arm, shaking my head. “No. Stay out. It will work out the way it's meant to be. We can't interfere.”

  She trembled, her face flushed. “Chloe, are you okay?” I asked. She looked ill.

  “No, I'm not. Rebecca said she was over Alain. She can't change her fucking mind now.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “She said to trust her. As much as it's fucking killing me, I have to show her I do. If I want her trust, I have to give her mine.”

  Alain and Natasha. Between them, they could fuck this up for me. I had to trust with everything in me that Rebecca would choose me—that what we had was strong enough to get us not only through this moment, but also through Natasha’s shit that was about to hit the fan. Thank God, Rebecca didn’t know about the pregnancy yet—that would blow my chances completely.

  “And you’re going to stand here and let it happen? Are you a pussy, Maxwell, or are you going to go after my sister?” Hands on her hips, she challenged me.

  I threw back my head and laughed. Nobody had called me a pussy since school days. “Chloe, you don’t get it, do you? I can storm back in there and beat the Frenchman to a fucking pulp. Throw his ass out of there. Even get him locked up in jail. That’s what I want to do more than anything.”

  Chloe’s eyes were like saucers. Those options clearly weren’t as appealing to her as they were to me. Stunned, she didn’t say anything.

  “Or I can go all caveman and throw Rebecca over my shoulder and drag her out of there. I’m fucking itching to do that. And smack her ass for putting me through this. Now, that’s really tempting.” I sighed heavily. “All of those are possibilities I’m seriously contemplating, believe me. But if I do, I’ll never know if Rebecca really chose me because she wants to or if I’ve steamrolled her into it.” I rubbed my cheek as I watched Chloe’s face. Her mouth hung slightly open as she listened. “What I love about Rebecca is her fire, and that she’s smart. She needs to make the right choice for her. That, my dear Chloe, is true love. When the one you love chooses you, because there is no one else for them.”

  Chloe tilted her head and bit into her lip. “You really love her, Max. A lot.”

  I smiled. “I've chased after Rebecca, laid my cards at her feet. Done everything I can to show her how much I want her. Risked my business, and my career. Exposed myself to the press. There is nothing more I can do.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Have you told her you are in love with her? Have you said the words, Max?”

  I shook my head. “If her heart decides differently...if I’m not the man she wants, nothing I say or do will change that.”

  “My God, men are dumb asses! Tell her you love her, dammit. That will change everything.”

  I shrugged. “I've shown her in every way I know that I want her. She has to know.”

  She slapped her palm against her forehead. “Jesus, Max, we could both lose the person we want because you won’t say the fucking words. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  “What? You want the...Frenchman? What the fuck!” It was my turn to gape at her.

  She lowered her eyes to the ground for a moment, then stared back up at me, her gaze unwavering. “Yes, what the fuck is right. There is something between us he doesn’t even know or understand. He’s blinded by his sudden freedom, thinking he wants Rebecca, but she isn’t the right woman for him. I am.”

  Her confidence blew my mind. This woman knew exactly what she wanted. Too bad Rebecca got there first. I wished it wasn’t so. I wished it could’ve been different. But all the fucking wishing in the world wasn’t going to change a fucking thing. Rebecca was in there with Alain, and I was in the hallway with her sister. Both of us waiting for an outcome that would either rock or crush our worlds.

  “If Rebecca chooses the Frenchman, we are both screwed.” My mouth went dry. “I’m so fucking scared of losing her, Chloe. She is my fucking air.”

  “Yeah, I get that. Pour me a drink, Max. I don’t think I can stand this any longer. I'm going a bit crazy here.” She laughed, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

  I smiled. Crazy was an understatement. The longer they were staying in there, the more my mind was playing tricks on me. Just what was going on in there? Were they talking? Had he convinced her to leave with him? Were they fucking?

  Trust.

  My mind was spinning. Any minute I was going to lose my shit and storm in there and take his fucking head off. It wouldn’t be pretty. I wouldn’t stop till he wasn’t breathing.

  I couldn’t think straight. I pulled Chloe by the arm, to the outdoor bar by the pool. I poured a stiff drink into two glasses and slid hers across the granite top. She caught it with a smile.

  “Salute,” she said as she held up her glass.

  “Cheers,” I said, lifting mine. I threw the liquid down my throat, grimacing as it burned its way to my belly.

  “Holy hell, that’s strong. I need more.” She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand then slid her glass back to me. I refilled both. She didn’t wait for me to pass it back to her. She leaned over the counter and grabbed the glass. I watched as she drank hers down before mine even touched my lips.

  “Slow down.”

  “Why? I don’t want to be sober when Rebecca and Alain open that fucking door. Who knows what they are doing in there. Doesn’t it bother you?”

  I grunted. She had a point. Maybe I should get wasted too. Fuck knows, after all this time, the thought of losing her now was something I didn’t want to think about.

  “Of course it does. It’s taking every inch of my self-control to not storm in there and bust up their little rendezvous. I can't believe the nerve of the man to come here—under my fucking roof—to see Rebecca.”

  “Shit, Max, I'm sorry. I didn’t think this would happen when I let him in.”

  “It was you? I figured that much. Sorry it backfired on you.” I threw the rest of my drink down my throat, grimacing as the liquid burned its way to my stomach.

  I stripped off my clothes to my boxers. Chloe’s eyes widened as she watched, then she grinned as her gaze scanned my body. I dived into the deep end of the enormous pool. I needed to be sober and burn off the unease that gripped my insides.

  After swimming a few laps, my muscles burned and my breathing labored, my head had cleared, but not my anxiety. I dried off, noting that Chloe had gone back inside. I stripped off the wet boxers and wrapped the towel around my waist, grabbed hold of my clothes and went back inside.

  The door was still closed. Fuck. I swallowed hard. My body shook with a mixture of fear and anger as I walked past the door, cursing, and took the stairs to our bedroom.

  Trust was a big fucking word.

  Chapter 42 — Rebecca

  My heart skipped a beat as I took in his beauty standing in front of the large window with his hands stuck into his pants pockets, staring out. He didn’t move as I crept up behind him and slipped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek to his back. I inhaled deeply, the raw masculine scent of this man affecting me like it always did.

  The peace I felt in my heart while nestled against him brought certainty like nothing else. Without a shred of doubt, my heart belonged to this man. He gave me everything I needed. All I could ever want.

  He sighed, and then let his hands glide over my arms, pulling me closer against him so there wasn’t as much as a hair’s breadth b
etween us. He hummed a content sound that reverberated through both of us. Guiding my hand to his heart, he placed my palm flat against his chest, his fingers lacing with mine.

  “Can you feel it?” he spoke softly into the quiet, his voice low, yet full of meaning.

  His heart beat rapidly and his breathing accelerated too. He folded his hand over mine and moved it down his cut torso, slowly south, till I felt my breathing quicken too. From bared skin over fabric until our hands rested on his hard cock.

  “This is what you do to me. You make my cock yearn for you.”

  The way he guided my hand to caress him was hot as all hell. He pushed my palm flat so it rubbed up his erection, making it grow harder, wider, longer with each upward stroke. He groaned into the silence, and then spun around so we were facing one another.

  His hardness pushed into my stomach, pulsing. My hands slid up his torso, over hard nipples, and around his neck, pulling his head down to mine. He kissed me with so much passion that he would have swallowed me whole if he could.

  I moaned into his mouth, every part of my body coming alive. Tightly strung, he was the archer and I the bow and arrow.

  With trembling fingers we undressed one another, our hands a flurry of need to get the other naked while our mouths kept searching for flesh to devour. Clothing fell to the floor, discarded with disdain for keeping our skin from touching.

  Both his hands cupped my arse and lifted me off the ground. I hooked my legs around his hips, his hardness throbbing between us. His mouth nibbled the skin of my throat, sucked flesh into his mouth, leaving his mark on my skin.

  “I want to devour you.” Pupils fully dilated, his eyes were dark pools of desire.

  I hummed as I reached between us and directed him into me. He slid in with a loud grunt. I gasped for air, the fullness of him overwhelming, yet exactly what I craved.

  His voice rumbled, “This is how I always want to be. Naked and inside you. Skin to fucking skin. Cock buried deep, deep, deep inside your warm pussy.”

  “Maxwell,” I moaned. His words alone made me clench around him. This was where I wanted him too. Deep inside.

  Before long, our orgasms overtook us, leaving us breathless.

  I wasn’t finished.

  There was one other part of him I wanted. One final piece of me I wanted to give.

  He pulled out and lifted me in his arms, carrying me through the open sliding door onto the balcony.

  Another balcony scene.

  Only this time it was just the two of us, our naked bodies gleaming in the early moonlight.

  Maxwell leaned against the wall, folding me in his arms as we stared at the moon that sat so low I could reach out and touch it. His head dipped and he brushed his lips over my ear, sweet and gentle.

  Trembling, I pressed my body into his, smiling against his skin. He lifted my chin and stared into my eyes, searching. His lips parted as if to speak, and then closed. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek.

  It was time to tell Maxwell how I felt about him, and put his mind at ease about Alain. I prayed he felt the same.

  “Max. I love you.” The words tumbled from my lips before I could stop them.

  His eyes widened. He squeezed my chin and brought his lips to mine. “Rebecca, I've loved you for so fucking long. I just can't hide it any longer.”

  “Max, oh Max...say it again.”

  “I love you, Rebecca, so much.” His eyes glowed.

  Standing on my toes, I kissed him, slowly and tenderly, cupping his face in my hands. As if he couldn’t believe it, his gaze searched my face again. “You love me, too?” His voice was shaky.

  I laughed softly. “Yes. I love you with everything I’ve got. I’m yours, Max, only yours.”

  He chuckled, a low rumble from his chest, his grin splitting his face.

  “Trust,” he said, “the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

  Chapter 43 — Alain

  I smiled at Rebecca as she turned back to me. Maybe I had a chance after all. The fact that she’d asked Grant and Chloe to leave and hadn’t just dismissed me pointblank meant that she was giving my request serious thought.

  Her eyes were hooded and she didn’t look at me directly. She took a seat on the sofa and indicated for me to sit. I loosened the top button of my shirt, feeling hot under the collar of the silk fabric that should have felt cool. I sat next to her, sinking into the soft cushions and closed my eyes for a few seconds to regroup my thoughts.

  “So, now we have privacy, we need to talk things out, Alain.” She clasped her hands around her knees, her back pencil straight.

  “Yes, cherie, we do. With everything that’s happened, I understand it's all a shock for you. I'm just glad you’re giving me this chance to clear the air.”

  She nodded. “It's important we do that...so we can both move forward with confidence, knowing we’ve made the right decisions.”

  I turned my torso so I was facing her. “Does that mean you will give me another chance? I'm hoping you will come to France with me. If not today—because of Lily—then soon.”

  Her eyes were soft when she spoke, “Alain, I'm so honored you’ve come back for me.” The smile that curled her generous lips flipped my heart.

  “I'd made up my mind about us before I went to Valerie’s place, but now the duke is out of the way, it's even easier than before—”

  She leaned over and placed trembling fingers over my lips. “Before you say more, I already have my answer, Alain. If this crazy journey has taught me anything, it's to listen to my gut. It knows the answers before we do. The mind and the heart can become confused, but our instincts are always right.” Her eyes were blazing with passion. This was the Rebecca I loved.

  “You always were smart. What does your gut tell you?” I smiled at her. In my mind, there was only one logical choice she could make after the way we’d been so great together. The weeks in France with Rebecca were the best in my life and I couldn’t wait to have more of those special times with her.

  She brushed a lock of hair from my forehead. “I'm sorry about everything you’re going through at the moment. You need all the support you can get. I’ll do anything I can to help you through it.”

  I took her hands in mine. Her fingers were ice cold in spite of the warm weather. “Thank you, cherie, it means the world to me.”

  I leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped me with her palm against my chest. My heart beat so rapidly that she had to feel it thundering against her hand. Okay, so she wanted to talk first before we made out. I could deal with that.

  Her breath hitched. “But that’s all I can give you, Alain. My heart belongs to Maxwell. I can give you friendship and support, no more. The change in your circumstances hasn’t changed anything for me. I can't go to France with you because my place is with Maxwell.”

  She shifted in her seat and crossed her legs away from me. My mouth dropped open. I didn’t see it coming. I was so sure she’d choose me. Maxwell was a temporary rebound option. She couldn’t be serious.

  “Cherie, I can't believe what you’re saying. You don’t need to protect me any longer. I want you by my side—”

  “Alain. Dammit, listen to me. All this time I've been ignoring my true feelings for Maxwell. I've run away, denying how strong they were, my mind at war with my heart. But my gut, it always knew that Max was the one. And now, I know with absolute certainty; it's easy for me to choose my path forward. It will always be the one that runs alongside Maxwell’s.”

  Merde. I couldn’t argue with this, even though it wasn’t anything close to what I wanted to hear her say.

  “So this is it? Your final decision?” I felt numb, my world falling over.

  “Yes. After today, we won’t talk about this again. I hope you can accept that and move on. Someone out there is waiting to make her very happy. I wish you that, Alain. In spite of how you hurt me, I’m over it because I found what I truly wanted...needed...in the process.”

  The sincerity and honesty in
her voice convinced me that this was true. It was too late for me. There wouldn’t be an us. My heart shredded, mourning the loss of what could have been if I hadn’t made one stupid mistake.

  “I wish you happiness, Rebecca, but if Grant breaks your heart, I’ll have to kick his ass. Make him pay in the worst way possible.” If I laid my hands on him at that moment, I’d rip his fucking head off. He’d stolen my dream woman from under my nose. I wanted him to die a slow and painful death.

  Although I was perfectly serious, an amused smile twitched her lips. “I’ll hold you to that—as a friend, Alain.” She cleared her throat. “Um...there’s one more thing we need to talk about.”

  My head jerked up. What more was there possibly to say?

  “You’ve changed your mind already?” Humor was the only way to walk out of here without making a fool of myself. She smiled at my weak attempt, but her eyes remained serious.

  Her hands twisted together on her lap. “I have a favor to ask. I hope you will say yes.”

  “Anything for you, cherie, you know that.”

  “Don’t be so quick to agree. You don’t know what it is yet. But...it's really important to me, Alain.”

  “Of course. Tell me—”

  She drew a long breath into her lungs. “It's Chloe. I don’t know exactly what happened in your car. I don’t really want the details either.” She bit down on her bottom lip.

  “Chloe?” Just the mention of her name sent a shiver of desire down my spine.

  “Yeah. I need you to promise me you’ll stay away from her. Please, Alain.” Her eyes pleaded with me.

  I sucked in a breath. “Why would you ask me that, Rebecca?”

  “Because I can sense the attraction between the two of you. Because Chloe is impulsive and hardheaded. Because I don’t want her to fall head over heels in love with you.”

  I jumped up from my seat, unable to sit still. Merde. There was no way I could make promises I couldn’t keep, especially not to Rebecca, and especially not about her sister. Anything else, I’d agree to, but this...