“It sounds like a long time to a youth like yourself, but when you’ve lived for centuries upon centuries, it is but a short period. I am pleased to see you care to control yourself. Yesterday I wondered if the voices were too loud.” Batukhan frowned.
“I have to if I ever want to see her again.”
“Love has the potential to save souls and consume them.” Batukhan sighed and gave Chance a sad glance. “What is her name?”
“Ana. Her name’s Ana. And I left her—I had to, so I wouldn’t hurt her.” Stop talking to him. You’re giving him too much information. Information is power.
“That makes more sense. But I still wonder why Lifen didn’t bother with you . . .”
“Ana—” He spoke her name before he could stop himself.
“I see. She must have powers. I understand now. Lifen would pick her over a shifter.”
The voices were beginning to bounce around Chance’s mind and he was having a hard time keeping them straight. Was he suspicious, angry or confused?
“Chance? Look at me.”
A hand rested on his shoulder and he reacted. He swiped it off his body and spun free. His heartbeat thundered in his ears. Coiled in a squat, he looked around franticly, the sense of danger smothering his senses.
“You’re safe, Chance. Calm your breathing.”
Batukhan sat down in front of him with his legs crossed and his spine tall. We need him on our side if you want to see Ana again. Listen to him, Chance. Calm yourself. He did as his thoughts urged him to do and eased back into a sitting position.
“Very good, Chance. Take long, slow breaths. Let your body relax by letting the tension in your muscles go. Put a wall up in your mind. Do not let any thoughts in. Stillness, and silence.”
With every breath, Chance allowed his muscles to unwind. No thoughts or urges whispered in his head while he concentrated on his task. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but his eyes must have slipped shut because at the sound of a calling bird he snapped awake with a start. Batukhan was still sitting cross-legged in front of him and staring unfocused at a point behind Chance.
Chance flexed his biceps and pressed his fists into the earth, lifting himself off the ground. He rolled his neck clockwise and stretched. Batukhan didn’t move and Chance eyed him curiously. “Hello? Batukhan, you awake?”
“Yes, I am. You seemed to fall into a deep meditation. Do you feel yourself again?” Batukhan’s voice came out deep and melodic. “Are you now ready to travel?”
Chance shrugged. “Think so. How’re we traveling? Animal or human?”
Batukhan blinked and raised his arms straight above his head in a long stretch. In one fluid movement, he rose to his feet and brushed the dirt off of his clothes. “Well, youngling, you tell me. Do you know a form that is good to travel in? I would say a bird, but you have your belongings. What would you feel most comfortable in?”
I’m no youngling.
Chance adjusted his pack and sized it up. It was too awkward to carry as a bird, that was for sure. Even though his preferred form was the bear, it was probably not wise to continue traveling as a beast most people would want to shoot. “I dunno. We need to move fast, right? And I probably need to stay away from populated areas. I don’t trust myself. Maybe we could travel as dogs? I see them all over the place around here.”
“A dog . . .” A sad expression flickered across Batukhan’s face. “Yes. We will stay away from the roadways and trouble. We will travel northwest. My friend keeps away from people and hides out in the wilderness of British Columbia and Alberta, Canada. He’s a nomad, but he’s so smelly, it’s nothing a tracking nose can’t handle.”
“Fine. Let’s get moving.” With the prospect of controlling the voices in his head, he was ready to go. Every minute not spent working on getting back to Ana was wasted time. He stripped his clothes off, shoved them into his bag and put the straps over his shoulders.
Chance cleared his mind and concentrated on the form. It was one he’d never taken himself, but it seemed there weren’t any animal mappings that he couldn’t reference since absorbing so many shifters’ memories. Thin blue lines crossed and intersected into a canine’s shape in his thoughts and his immense energy reserve sparked at his command. Brown fur rippled across his body while he shrank onto all fours. He pinched his nose up to chase away the itch that traced along his snout.
Batukhan swiftly mimicked Chance’s actions and soon two dogs stood side by side with backpacks strapped across their torsos. It was almost a relief being in animal form again and Chance was happy to set off behind Batukhan, but as they began to move he noticed something strange about his companion. One of his front legs was curled up to his body, malformed. It didn’t seem to slow him in any way, and he ran ahead without any struggle. Chance couldn’t figure it out. How could that happen to such an old, powerful shifter? Was this the condition he mentioned? He’d have to find out later.
Despite the fact that they were traveling close to winter, moving with a fur coat was a warm business. They were constantly on the lookout for water, and when they came across a garden spigot, Chance took human form to refill his water bottle. While he tightened the lid, liquid sloshed out onto his hands and his vision clouded.
A memory crept through his mind and took hold of him. A familiar voice echoed through his thoughts, “I’m heading over to Jon’s. See you later, Mom!”
Markus. His hands clenched automatically and the tendons in his neck tightened.
He ran out the front door of an apartment and around a brick building to a bike that was chained to a tree. After unlocking it, he jumped on and sped down a busy street. Pedaling as hard as his legs could go, he went up a hill and zoomed off the sidewalk and onto a trail that led along a stream. The sound of traffic fell away and all he could hear was the water rushing over the rocks and earth.
A fox ran out from behind some nearby trees and landed in the middle of the path. Markus clamped on his brakes and skidded out on some loose gravel. He fell forward onto his hands and screamed in pain. A plume of dust surrounded him and he winced as he stared at his scraped palms.
“Ah!”
While Markus lifted himself up, a figure stood before him. A Native American of about thirty, if he had to guess. Markus recognized him.
“Nastas.” Fear gripped him and made his heart flicker in pain. “How’d you find us?”
The dark haired man grinned in such a way you knew it wasn’t from happiness, but twisted amusement. “Why don’t you call me Grandfather?”
“I’m supposed to stay away from you.”
“But we’re family. I’ve just come to check in on you—see how you’re coming along. I see you’ve grown—in more ways than one.”
Markus looked all around for some way of escape. Thoughts of his mother flashed through his mind. He was afraid these were the last moments of his life.
“Do not worry. I’m not here to hurt you. I just wanted to see you for myself. Sorry about your hands. You know what can heal that right up?” Nastas smirked again.
“My mother will know what to do to take care of it.”
He can’t know I’m a shifter. He can’t. I have to protect Mom. I can’t let him hurt us, I can’t.
“Chance . . .?”
Chance fell onto his side and stared up at the sky. The memory had ended as abruptly as it had arrived.
Batukhan’s face came into view. “Are you alright, Chance? Are you feeling yourself, or do you need to meditate?”
“Yeah, fine. Just got a little dizzy s’all. Let’s go.”
He put his water bottle into his backpack, and brushed his hands off, still feeling the ghostly sting of Markus’s scraped palms. He shifted into a dog before Batukhan could ask him any more questions. The memories were the worst part of his sickness. He had no control over them and he didn’t like it at all, especially since they were purely about fear, death and destruction. It was enough to poison any soul.
Batukhan waited for Chance to star
t moving and shifted right behind him. They hurried away from the spigot and back onto their trail north. While they ran, Chance was left to his own thoughts.
Even though Markus’s face and voice were enough to make his blood boil, he couldn’t help but empathize with him. All he wanted to do was protect his mom and himself from Nastas. Only thing was, Markus clearly hadn’t taken care of the issue—and now it was Chance’s problem.
Chapter 13
Ana sat in the living room with her candle on the coffee table. It was only a foot or two away from her while she perched cross-legged on a pillow. Her legs were going numb and she’d have to stretch them out once again like she’d had to do three times already to regain blood flow.
She took a deep breath and rekindled the yellow energy at her core. While staring at the flickering golden flame, she attempted to draw in the energy around it. The small wisp shrank and nearly went out. In reaction, she reversed the flow and instead, pushed her power out. The flame grew in size, licking its orange-blue tongue at the air. She groaned and pinched her eyes shut as her frustration got the better of her. Why couldn’t she get it? Ana was determined; she would practice day and night until she could control her powers.
“Wow. Didn’t your mom tell you playing with fire’s dangerous?”
Her concentration broke and she whipped around to see Derek standing behind her. It took her a minute to let her cranky attitude dissolve away. “Well, my teacher told me to.”
He squatted beside her and asked, “So, how’s it going? And what are you actually doing?”
“Well, you know yesterday when I accidentally pulled in your energy?”
“Yeah.”
“This is Lifen’s way of trying to teach me to control myself. So I don’t hurt anyone. But it’s crazy hard and I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to get this!” She blew out the candle and folded her arms.
“It’s okay. Calm down, Brooklyn wasn’t built in a weekend . . . patience.” Derek tried to console her and rubbed her shoulder, sending a shock of energy into her body.
Her vision blurred and images filtered into her thoughts. A ring of evergreens encircled the small field in which she was standing. Ana had been there before—it was the location Niyol had trained Chance.
“Patience, Chance. You cannot build the kind of power you need to heal Ana overnight. It takes time and hard work. Try it again . . .”
Niyol’s peaceful face held her gaze. His gray hair was pulled back, and kind, brown eyes stared at her. A wave of emotion overcame her and her throat pinched shut. Love and fear intermixed, and images of her own face skirted her thoughts. I have to save her. I have to.
“Ana? You okay?” Derek’s voice cut through the memory.
The evergreen forest faded away and Ana was left staring at the wall. How had Chance been able to stand it? Seeing such painful memories all the time? It was almost too much for her.
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Never mind. I can’t give up.”
She looked down and discovered Derek’s dark hand holding hers. “He really must mean a lot to you.”
“I’d do anything for him, just like he’s done for me.” She gently let go of his hand, not wanting to hurt his feelings. Derek was a really nice guy, but as tired as she was, she wanted to keep working with the candle. She couldn’t fail.
“That’d be nice meeting that person who accepts you and loves you no matter what.” The tone of his voice drew Ana’s attention. His expression, so solemn and serious.
“What happened?” His comment diverted her own thoughts from Chance and Niyol.
“Aw, it’s nothing. Just a girl back home. I thought we were solid together, but . . .”
“Then she wasn’t the one, Derek. If she couldn’t accept you, then it was her loss. You’ll meet her someday.”
Derek nodded, although he didn’t seem convinced. “Yeah, maybe. It’s just that, if I find someone, then I have to watch them die from old age while I stay young. It’s not really something I’m game for. Sounds like torture. Chance is lucky . . . at least you guys’ll age at the same rate.”
That was presuming she could heal Chance, so they could return to each other. Ana’s heart went out to him. “Guess that means we’ll have to find you a healer.”
“That’ll be hard. Lifen doesn’t let us off the property.”
“Seriously? For nothing? Not even to see your family?” She grew unsettled, thinking about Lifen’s promises to let Ana visit her mom and sister.
“Nope. Says it’s for our own good. That it’s dangerous out there and until she’s satisfied, we are safe on our own we can’t leave. It’s fine. I mean, I video conference with my mom on my phone and that’s all I really care about, except the guys get on my nerves.”
“I can imagine.” Ana thought about Ryan’s show that morning.
Derek laughed and got up. “C’mon, it’s time for us to go meet up with them. Time to get your animal on.” He offered her his hand and she was lifted to her feet. “It’ll be better having you around, trust me. I mean, Ryan’s the closest thing I have to a friend around here, and that’s saying something.”
Ana pinched up her face. “It really does.”
Lifen emerged from the living room with some tan fabric over her arm. “It is time for your next lesson. The others are getting ready now. I need everyone in the stable in five minutes.” She offered Ana what appeared to be a long, thick robe. “This is for you. I require my students to be clothed properly for shapeshifting lessons. Please get changed—you may wear your shoes to walk up for now, but when you’re skilled enough you will not need them. You will be able to regulate your core temperature and the snow will not bother you. The boys can show you the way. Jordan shoveled the walkway this morning.”
“Thank you, Lifen.” Ana accepted the robe and watched her turn around and leave. Lifen opened the front door and shut it behind her and they were alone again.
“Better get moving. When Lifen says five minutes, she means four. I’ll meet you at the front door.” Derek escorted her to the hallway and jogged downstairs. She heard deep voices welcome him and the word, “Hurry!”
Ana rushed into her room, quickly kicked off her slippers and then proceeded to remove her clothing. A flash of Chance lounging around in his sarong at Balam’s house surfaced and she thought it was better suited to men than women. The chill in the air gave her goose bumps and she wrapped herself in the robe, making sure to secure it tight. She figured she’d get used to it, but for the time being, just knowing how naked she was beneath her covering made her self-conscious. Ana had no way of knowing how Lifen ran things and her blood pressure rose just thinking about exposing herself to her classmates. She questioned staying in her room, but after taking a deep, shaky breath, she wandered into the hallway and made her way to the front door. Jordan, Ryan and Derek waited for her on the grass mats.
“There she is,” Ryan said. “You wear the robe well.” He winked.
Ana’s cheeks warmed in embarrassment and she placed her hand over the small V of exposed skin at her chest. The very tip of her scar pressed against the edge of the seam. She hadn’t thought about the puckered ridge that ran the length of her sternum in so long. The sadness from another time in her life was almost forgotten. Chance and Niyol had helped her put aside the painful memories of her heart surgeries. She felt accepted and loved unconditionally, but now that she was alone and standing in a robe, her confidence wavered.
“Do you want to wear your boots, or are you going to show off like Ryan?” Jordan asked with a roll of the eyes.
Ryan slipped his hands into the pockets of his robe and lifted his bare toes. “If Lifen’d let me, I’d go naked.”
Ignoring Ryan, Ana grabbed her winter boots and leaned over to pull them on. She was thankful her covering was so long and went down to the bottom of her calves.
When she stood up the guys were smirking at her.
“What? No boots after Labor Day?”
“Ladies fir
st.” Jordan opened the thick wooden door and bright sunlight streamed into the house.
Puffy white snow covered the mountainside and sparkled like glitter. Blue skies stretched out above them, and a few dusty clouds gave it texture. The gray stone walkway led the way above the home.
Jordan waved to a snow shovel leaning against the side of the house. “I shoveled this morning.”
Ana turned back in time to see Ryan and Derek laugh silently. “Yeah, I heard you did. Thanks.”
While she climbed up the steep walkway, the freezing air licked at her ankles and she held the front flap closed to prevent a draft. When she reached the top where she’d parked her van yesterday, she stopped to take in the view. The lake at the base of the mountain glimmered like blue topaz.
Derek pointed behind her. “See that over there? That’s where we’re going.”
She turned around and spotted a large building with a metallic roof and remembered seeing it when she arrived yesterday. The guys moved ahead through the snow and she followed. When she got to the door, Derek held it open for her.
Animal noises echoed through the darkened space. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust, going from the blinding light outside to the shadowy interior. Strewn hay softened her footfalls on the concrete floor.
“Bet you’ve never seen anything quite like this,” Jordan said.
Stalls lined the length of the building. In one she identified a horse, and in another, a deer. The cubbies changed from stalls to cages the further they walked. There were foxes, rabbits, various birds and in a few terrariums there were even some reptiles.
“Wow. Your own zoo.”
“Yes,” Lifen said, waiting for them at the end of the room. “There is more to learning an animal’s shape, but also their temperament and behavior. We have much to learn from them. Caring for the animals is part of your responsibility while living here. Many of these creatures were brought here because they were sick or injured. I heal them and my students feed and care for them.”
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