Secrets of a Side Bitch

by Jessica Watkins

It being my only option was validated when I walked into Donte’s hospital room carrying yogurt, granola, fresh fruit, and orange juice. As I sat the food tray down on the bed table, I looked closely and curiously at the woman standing beside his bed, holding his hand, and kissing his cheek.

  Although she automatically acted as if she knew who I was, I surely didn’t recognize her as being any of his siblings or cousins. She was way too old to be a niece.

  “Oh, hi! I’m Kennedy, Donte’s girlfriend! You must be Tammy!”

  Like me, she was mixed. I could tell that it had to be with African-American and Dominican. She was tall, slim, and fit. Underneath her maxi dress that swept the floor, I saw the outline of perky breasts and curvaceous hips. Her long hair fell in natural kinky curls that framed her tan face.

  Curiously, I looked at Donte who was definitely avoiding my eyes. Then, I noticed suitcases in the corner of the room that weren’t there before.

  “I just flew in, girl. I couldn’t catch a plane quick enough when Donte’s mom called and told me what happened! I can’t believe that crazy motherfucka is actually after you like this. But I know you’re glad that your cousin has been there for you. When Donte told me that his little cousin was moving in with him because her ex was trying to kill her, my heart really went out to you.”

  I couldn’t say shit. Literally, I was speechless as this airhead bitch went on and on, not even noticing my discomfort or the blatant awkwardness spread all over Donte’s face.

  I literally could not rationalize what the fuck was going on. Her words sounded muffled as she spoke to me like she knew everything about me. I could only reach for my purse and literally walk out of that room as she continued to speak so freely about her boyfriend. I could hear Donte attempting to smooth over my exit as I walked out of the room, but even his voice was muffled by the sounds of the contents of my stomach coming out of my body through my throat.

  Aeysha

  “Hey, baby.”

  Omari looked a little tired as he came into the bedroom. He had just walked into the house. I was lying across the bed watching TV.

  I was so excited to tell Omari about the baby. But I wanted to tell him face to face. So I had been sitting on pins and needles until he got back from Cleveland.

  I couldn’t believe that I was pregnant. I had an irregular cycle, which was part of the reason why it was hard for me to get pregnant in the first place. But because of it, I never thought anything of it when I missed my period for one or two months, or when I would spot here and there. I had an ultrasound yesterday, which said that I was about seventeen weeks. Even though there was really nothing to see on the ultrasound, I wanted to show Omari anyway so that he could physically see our baby. Since I couldn’t believe it, I knew that he wouldn’t believe it either.

  After kicking off his shoes, he immediately climbed into bed and lay next to me.

  “Tired?”

  “Yea. It was a long ass drive. You didn’t have to work today?”

  “Nope. I was off.”

  “What’s wrong with you?”

  I was happy on the inside, but I was nervous as hell on the outside, and it showed. So many things would change once Omari and I had a baby. We had been together for seven years, but it seemed like now we were official. This baby was making us a real family.

  “I went to the doctor yesterday.”

  I had his attention already, but those words got his direct attention. He sat up on his elbows and looked at me curiously.

  “For what? What’s wrong?”

  I chuckled to myself. Just like a nigga to think something was wrong when a chick has to go to the doctor, especially a nigga who cheats.

  “Nothing major. Just a little yeast infection.”

  “Yeast infection? You don’t get those.”

  “I know.” Then I sighed heavily. “But the doctor says that it’s pretty normal for women to have them when they’re pregnant.”

  It took him a few seconds to register those words. But as I finally released my excited smile, his eyes lightened and grew so big that those gray eyes looked like moons.

  Excitedly, I sat up and began to bounce on the bed repeatedly. “I’m pregnant!”

  At first, the only emotion I felt was happiness and excitement. But as Omari lay there staring up at me, speechless and motionless, with tears coming to his eyes, I began to feel so touched that I too began to cry.

  “You’re what?”

  “Pregnant,” I answered with a giggle through my tears.

  Finally, Omari sat up as well. He shamelessly let his tears fall as he reached out and touched my belly.

  “Yo, oh my God. I am so happy for you. I mean, I’m happy for us, but you’ve wanted this so bad, baby. How far along are you?”

  “Four months.”

  When he lay his head on my stomach and wrapped his arms tightly around me, I was moved beyond tears.

  This was all that I ever wanted. For years, me and Omari had fought to stay together through the bad and the bullshit. I truly felt like all of that fight was for this moment and this family.

  Simone

  After making that trip with Omari, I was totally convinced that he had a woman. The way he kept his telephone screen hidden as he text messaged. The way he snuck phone calls in when I would leave the car or the room. Those were all signs of a nigga with a woman.

  Desperate times had called for desperate measures in the past, so I knew exactly how to find out if he had one. I sat at my computer at home and logged into a background check website. Once I purchased and downloaded a background check on Omari, if there was a woman living with him, I would know. She would be connected to him in some type of way that would show up on the background check, whether by address, marriage, or associates.

  And sure enough, as I scanned the forms that told me detailed information on Omari’s address history and other personal information, the name Aeysha Walker was displayed under the relatives and associates section.

  I had a fake Facebook page that I used when watching the men that I fucked with and their women. Some may call it stalking, but I just called it keeping an eye on them. The name that I used for the page was that of a popular DJ here in Chicago. Therefore, when adding them to my page they would accept my friend request without thinking about it. Now that I had Aeysha’s name, I went to Facebook’s search engine to search for her. I was trying to find her Facebook page to look for any proof of a relationship with Omari. I hoped that her page wasn’t private so that I wouldn’t have to request her friendship and do too much digging.

  I didn’t need any of that though. There was one Aeysha Walker on Facebook. The profile picture was of her and Omari. I was devastated. I banged my hand against my computer desk so hard that pens and papers flew to the floor.

  “Urgh!!”

  In devastation, I sent her a friend request. Then I looked over the About section of her profile. I was disgusted as I read that all of her work and education was in the hood. Even her quotes, favorite movies, and music were ratchet as hell. I clicked on her photos. Only a few were public. They showed how fat and out of shape she was. I literally became sick with envy as I looked at various profile pictures of her and Omari– some with them hugging, some with them kissing.

  It was happening to me again. Yet again, I was the bitch on the side. Though a pretty girl, it was obvious that compared to me she was a ghetto nothing ass bitch. I couldn’t believe that this was the bitch I was playing second fiddle to!

  Omari

  I was so fucking happy that I was literally dancing towards the bar to my own beat.

  I was happy for us, but I was really happy for Aeysha. To see her life come together over these last few weeks was amazing to me. As someone that had been in her life for years, watching her ups and downs and struggles with getting pregnant, I was just so motherfuckin’ happy for my baby.

  I was having a kid! I was happy as hell to be able to say that, especially since now I was in the financial position to take care o
f that kid like I wanted to.

  “What up, Pretty Boy?”

  I was meeting Capone at a lil’ hole in the wall by my crib. He was in the streets when I told him about the baby, so he wanted to have a drink with me to celebrate.

  Beats the fuck outta me how his young ass steady got in clubs. He most likely paid off security and only went to clubs where bouncers knew him.

  “Man, dawg, you gone have to come up with something else to call me.”

  “I’ll call you Pops then, my nigga!”

  Damn, a real life genuine happiness came over me just to hear somebody call me that shit. “Yea, Pops. That’ll do.”

  Me and Capone started heavy with the shots of Remy. Remy was a pretty hard choice for me, but that was a night to go hard if any!

  “Man, dawg, did Ching tell you about them boys hollering at him?”

  Instantly, my happiness went out the window. “When was this?”

  “This morning. Early as fuck this morning they hit the block on Racine.”

  I couldn’t believe Ching didn’t tell me. Now I was even more suspicious about that pep talk he gave me that afternoon. I had been to his crib that morning, dropping off the money from the drop in Cleveland, so he had ample opportunity to tell me.

  “What they holla at him about?”

  “One of them niggas in the robbery told the dics about it and was like that probably had something to do with Ron’s disappearance. Told them that they robbed Ching.”

  “Fuck. All they did was question him?”

  “Yep. Hollered at him for a minute and bounced when he wouldn’t give them no info. But you know they comin’ back.”

  Soon as fear and anxiety took over me, Capone tried giving me some reassurance. “Man, you good.”

  “How?”

  “You ain’t pop nobody.”

  “I was there.”

  “And that, my nigga, is some shit you should never say again. To nobody. Not me, not Ching, ’specially not them boys. Nobody.”

  Though much younger than me physically, Capone was a hell of a lot older than me when it came to this game. I was just a nigga making drops for extra bread, but he had been living this shit since he was thirteen. I took what he said and rolled with it, keeping it in the back of my head to watch what I said and to keep an eye on Ching. I didn’t like that he hadn’t told me that detectives had questioned him, but I hoped that he had kept it from me as a way of looking out for me.

  Capone and I continued to throw back shot after shot after shot. The best Dj’s were in hole in the walls. Future, Lil’ Wayne, 2 Chainz, and Jay Z was banging from the speakers so loud that I could barely hear this beautiful exotic woman that approached me with a smile. She looked a little familiar, but I was tipsy by then and could barely put two and two together.

  “It’s me, Tammy. Simone’s friend.”

  “Oh, what’s up, girl!” I met Tammy that morning. Me and Simone picked her up from Rush Medical Center because she needed a ride to her mom’s crib. “Damn, you dress up nicely.”

  She looked a mess earlier that morning. Simone told me that that crazy nigga had got in Donte’s crib, fucked her up pretty bad, and shot Donte. Now, her hair was combed. In jeggings and a tie-up top, I could see every one of her many curves. While Simone was a cute girl, her friend Tammy was gorgeous. She looked straight out of the pages of King magazine. Even Capone stared at her like a dog in heat. He was looking so hard that I was scared he was going to literally reach out and grab her ass.

  “Wow! Well, damn. Thanks!”

  “No offense. I’m sorry,” I said with a laugh. “What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be somewhere resting…or hiding?!”

  With a faint chuckle, she replied, “I needed a drink. This place is right down the street from my mother’s house. I have had a long, emotional two days. Fuck Jimmy. I’m tired of hiding from him.”

  She did look like she was in a fucked up mood. Even though it was a party going on around her full of drunk happy motherfuckas, she looked sad. So I invited her to join me and Capone, who had no problem ordering her continuous shots.

  By two in the morning, me and Tammy were in the back of my Challenger fucking the shit out of each other. Even as she rode me, I wondered how the fuck we’d gone from me walking her to her car to ending up in the back seat of mine. The car was literally spinning as she bounced up and down on my dick. She was so fucked up that she’d gotten completely naked like we were at the crib or some shit. Her titties bounced in my face as she held onto the back seat, balanced on her tiptoes, and slid up and down my dick.

  I really didn’t even want to be doing it. But I couldn’t deny how pretty she was, how bad her body was, and even how good she smelled as her skin brushed against my nose every time she hopped up and down on my dick. Her pussy was wet as fuck. I could feel her insides sliding down the rubber and on my balls. I couldn’t believe how tight that pussy was. I tried not to enjoy it, but as I felt myself cumming, I figured it was too late to stop it. I grabbed her around her waist, held on tight, rested my head back against the seat, and got comfortable in that pussy.

  TWELVE

  TUESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2013

  Omari

  A week later, I felt like shit. I was doin’ way too much for my own good. Simone, Tammy, and this murder was becoming overbearing. Like most niggas do when shit hit the fan, I wanted to just fall back from everything, focus on my family, and just chill.

  That included leaving Simone alone. For the past week I had been kinda distant with her because I was trying to figure out how and when to stop fucking with her. She was a good girl and I felt bad for stringing her along. True in all, I had mad feelings for her, but those feelings weren’t strong enough for me to ever leave my girl. Simone deserved a nigga that could give her what I was only willing to give to Aeysha. Besides, after fucking her friend, I figured it was time to get out of that situation. I was a dog ass nigga, but never had I fucked a chick’s friend. That was just wrong and I felt bad. Even after fucking her, me and Tammy looked at each other like we had just cheated on our ACTs or some shit. It felt good as fuck, but once it was done, it felt dirty as hell.

  We both swore to keep it to ourselves. We didn’t even switch numbers. I made sure she got in her car safely and that was that.

  “Hey, baby.”

  Still in all, I had to leave Simone alone. It was the right thing to do. We were in the parking lot. We usually pulled in around the same time to see each other before going in the gig.

  “Hey.” I could barely speak to her. When I didn’t return her smile, she knew something was wrong.

  I took her by the hand and walked back towards my ride where we both rested on the hood. It was a little cool out. By now, it was October, so the weather was dropping and it was time to throw on jackets, even though nobody was ready to let go of the summertime.

  “I gotta talk to you.”

  “About what?”

  I could see her heart beating out of her chest. She saw the look in my face, so she knew it wasn’t good. I looked at her legs peaking out of her skirt. I even admired the little bit of cleavage that was peeking out of her button up shirt.

  I shol’ hated to let her go. But I had to.

  “We need to chill for a minute.”

  “Chill? What does that mean?”

  “C’mon, Simone. Don’t make me say it.”

  “Make you say what?” She was getting defensive. She stood from the hood of the car, folded her arms across her chest, stood directly in front of me and looked into my eyes.

  “I can’t mess with you anymore. I got a lot going on that I need to focus on. I’m about to get in a little deeper with Ching,” I lied. “I really won’t have time to give you what you deserve.”

  “How do you know that until you try, Omari?”

  “I just know it. Plus, we been getting so serious, and I’m not ready for a relationship. That’s not what I’m looking for.”

  Simone

  When I found out ab
out Aeysha, I decided to take a different approach. All of the other things that I’d done to win men over had failed, so I opted with keeping my mouth closed. There was obviously a lot about me that Omari liked and a lot of things about Aeysha that he didn’t, otherwise he wouldn’t have been fucking with me. I figured that as long as I kept doing those things right, he would eventually be mine.

  As I stood in that parking lot listening to him give me bullshit excuses as to why he suddenly had to stop fucking with me, I didn’t feel like I was losing him. I could see it in his face that he was doing something that he really didn’t want to do.

  So, I took it like a big girl. “Okay. If that’s what you want. You know I’m always here for you.”

  Omari looked at me with surprise that I didn’t argue with him further. Then he sighed heavily and walked towards me. When he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me, I knew that that wouldn’t be last time that I was in his arms.

  I refused to let it be.

  I was playing the mature role, trying to act like I was a big girl that didn’t need to beg for his presence in my life. Despite the fact that it looked like he wanted to say more, I kissed him on the cheek, said goodbye and walked away. Yet, I fought back tears as I walked to my office. I knew that, though he obviously wanted to fuck with me, that bitch Aeysha had obviously gotten in his head some sort of way.

  As soon as I got into my office, I turned on my computer and immediately logged into Facebook. Aeysha had accepted my friend request a few days ago, but she had only been posting about random immature bullshit. But I figured that if something had happened that made him choose to suddenly be faithful, her young ass would surely reference it on her Facebook page. When I clicked on her page, I saw that she definitely had.

  Her status message from last night read like death to my soul. “I guess I can finally tell my Facebook family that me and Omari are having a baby!! I’m four months. I feel so blessed! Me and Omari have been trying for years and finally God answered my prayers.”