Whispering Waves

by Jamie Berris

  “Don’t you think it’s odd that no one will breathe a word about their falling out, though? I mean . . . it’s not like I’m four. Why can’t I know what happened? What could really be so bad?”

  “Does anyone else know, besides your dad and Andrea?”

  “My Aunt Josie and Aunt Nevie both know, but I think I have a better chance of finding out from my mother than I do either of them.”

  Dylan smirked. “So pretty impossible to get your aunts to talk?”

  “Yeah, you could say that.”

  Stepping off the pier, Sadie could see Jayna and her friends were out of the water and lying on their beach towels in the sand. A couple of kids were playing paddle ball, and a girl was standing in the middle of the towels, dancing. They were too far to hear the music, but Sadie laughed to herself because she now had a clear picture of what she and her friends all looked like at the beach, playing around, dancing, and being carefree.

  It shocked her that Jayna, at fourteen, looked more like seventeen. She was turning into a stunning young woman. She looked so much like their mother. Sadie wondered if Jayna realized that when she looked in the mirror.

  As they made their way up the beach, through the scalding sand to Jayna, Sadie gave Dylan a brief version of what happened on the pier with her last night. She told him Jayna’s attempt at an apology was to buy her a slushy.

  The dancing girl stopped and looked embarrassed when Sadie and Dylan stopped to talk to Jayna. Liz turned down the radio, and everyone grew a little silent. Sadie felt like an idiot. Here she was standing in front of a group of kids within two years of her own age, and she felt like she was a forty-five-year-old wicked mother whom all the kids hated.

  “Oh, hey, Dylan,” said Jayna, breaking the silence. “What ya guys doin’?”

  Sadie smiled. “We went for a walk, and I thought we’d say hi and take you up on that slushy.”

  For once, Jayna didn’t hesitate. She popped right up from her towel and grabbed her cut-off shorts. Sadie could see a few dollar bills hanging out of the front pocket. She laughed to herself. It would be like Jayna to lose her money before they even got to the counter.

  Since Jayna only had enough money for two slushies, she insisted she didn’t want one and gave hers to Dylan. Sadie rarely saw this side of Jayna. Dylan was teasing Jayna as they walked back to the group of kids, asking her which of the boys she liked. Much to Sadie’s surprise, Jayna pointed out a shaggy blond kid sitting on a towel next to Jayna’s vacant one.

  “Does he like you? I mean are you a couple?” Sadie couldn’t imagine Jayna with a boy, especially a boy that would put up with her attitude.

  Jayna rolled her eyes. “I just met him three days ago.” The blond looked towards the pavilion, and as soon as he spotted the three of them staring at him, he quickly looked away.

  Dylan smirked. “He’s definitely into you, Jayna.” “What’s his name?”

  “Brody,” said Jayna, staring his way.

  Dylan and Sadie looked at each other and smiled behind Jayna’s back. They thanked Jayna for the slushies and headed towards the dunes as Jayna ran back to her friends.

  “She’s not so bad, Sadie. She’s just immature. She’ll grow out of her attitude. Don’t be so hard on her. Not everyone is a perfectionist,” he teased and poked at her ribs.

  “I’m not a perfectionist, Dylan, and she’s as moody and flighty as they come.”

  Dylan squeezed Sadie’s waist as they walked. “Lighten up, babe. You’re too uptight!”

  Chapter 23

  Sadie

  Sadie couldn’t believe how welcoming her dad had been when she and Dylan came back from their walk. He shook Dylan’s hand and gave him a warm pat on the back. Dylan, Travis, and Cody threw the football around while dinner was cooking. Sadie was relieved that everyone was getting along.

  She took a sip of her lemonade and locked eyes with Travis. He stared two seconds too long before looking away, and she quickly looked down at her plate. What was that about, she wondered, feeling awkward. She felt a pull at her heart, but why? She was in love with Dylan. Right?

  Liz’s giggling brought Sadie out of her trance. She and Cody were acting quite flirtatious next to each other at the picnic table. Liz was approaching fifteen, so she wasn’t much younger than Cody, but Sadie still had to roll her eyes at her giddiness. Even funnier was that Cody seemed to be completely enjoying the attention.

  Dylan stayed well after dinner. They watched the sunset, and then everyone pitched in and helped build a bonfire on the beach. Sadie noticed Travis had grown quiet, and again it bugged her, and it bugged her that it bugged her.

  The stars filled the clear Pentwater sky, and Sadie quickly pointed out the Big Dipper to Dylan—the same Big Dipper, she reminded herself again, that she and Travis slept under as kids on this beach. They roasted marshmallows and let off some leftover fireworks from the fourth of July that Benton had brought.

  Shortly after midnight, Dylan said he should get going. All the parents had gone to bed an hour earlier, leaving Sadie, Dylan, Jayna, Liz, Travis, and Cody hanging out by the fire. Everyone seemed to be getting along, especially Cody and Liz, but Sadie couldn’t decipher whether the slight tension she felt between Dylan and Travis was real or was just her worried mind.

  Sadie walked Dylan to his car behind the cottage and kissed him good-bye. Just as he was about to get into his car, he told her to stay put, that he had forgotten his baseball cap on the beach.

  After several minutes of standing in the dark, waiting for Dylan to return, Sadie got antsy and started walking around the side of the cottage toward the beach. She quickly stopped when she heard his low but threatening tone of voice.

  “I’m not trying to sound like a dick or anything,” Dylan said. “It’s just that I know you’ve got it for her, and I want to make sure you understand she’s mine. You better not be hitting on her or making any moves. I’m serious, Travis. Hands off!”

  “No worries, dude—Sadie’s like a sister,” said Travis.

  “Okay. We’re cool then. See ya around.”

  “Yeah, see ya.”

  Sadie ran back to Dylan’s car before he rounded the corner. She was instantly fuming with Dylan, playing back in her head what she had overheard. How dare he talk to Travis like that! She wasn’t going to let her annoyance show to Dylan, but there was no denying that his words definitely got under her skin.

  Dylan wrapped his arms around her and kissed her again. When he pulled away, he looked her in the eyes. “Be good.”

  She stood in the dark and watched his taillights fade in the distance. Be good? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

  Walking back to the fire, she found only Cody and Liz.

  “Where’d everybody go?”

  “To bed,” said Liz cuddled up close to Cody.

  “Alright, goodnight,” Sadie called over her shoulder as she turned and walked back toward the cottage.

  “Hey, don’t lock up. I’m staying over.”

  Sadie gave Liz that motherly look, and as soon as she did, she wished she hadn’t.

  “I’ll be inside in a bit, I promise.”

  “I promise too, Sadie,” said Cody with a smirk.

  Good thing it was Cody, because she trusted him. “No biggie—stay out as long as you feel like.”

  Sadie crawled in the bottom bunk and wondered if Jayna was still awake. She didn’t talk about too many intimate things that happened with her and Dylan to her younger sister, but she felt like it right now. Sadie desperately wanted to vent about what she overheard. She wished Travis had still been at the fire. She could have smoothed things over.

  Instead, she grabbed her phone and decided to text Myla; she was the level-headed one and the best listener. After waiting several minutes with no reply, Sadie figured Myla was asleep and gave up, tossing her phone on the nightstand with a sigh.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Jayna.

  Sadie thought for a moment before answering. “Even though I love Dyla
n like crazy, he can be so irritating sometimes.”

  “Like how?”

  “Like how he’s jealous of Travis. I overheard him telling Travis to stay away from me.” Sadie looked out through the gauzy curtains and stared at the Big Dipper and wondered if she should apologize to Travis on Dylan’s behalf.

  “I’m not trying to defend Dylan or anything, Sadie, but it’s quite obvious you and Travis have a thing for each other. You’re always flirting and hanging out. It’s no wonder he’s pissed.”

  “Whaaat? Travis and I do not flirt.”

  “Uh . . . yeah you do, big time.”

  Sadie thought of their flirtatious Bitmoji texting, but no one knew about that.

  “Well, it’s only in a friendly way, and it’s certainly not intentional. I mean . . . it’s Travis. How could we be anything more than friends?”

  “How couldn’t you be?”

  “Jayna, you’re not helping.”

  “Maybe I am.”

  “Whatever. I’m tired and you don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Sadie, declaring the conversation over. So much for thinking it would do any good to talk to Jayna; she’d never even had a real boyfriend.

  Liz slipped in the bedroom and found the sleeping bag on the floor. She smelled like Cody’s cologne, something Sadie noticed him wearing for the first time tonight. “He is such a good kisser!” beamed Liz.

  “What about Ryan, Liz?” asked Jayna. “Don’t you feel the least bit guilty?”

  “Ryan will never know. He’s two hours away. Besides, I’m staying with my grandparents a whole month. I need some excitement.”

  Liz and Jayna began chatting away about Cody and other boys Liz thought were cute that Jayna should like. She was definitely way ahead of Jayna when it came to boys, thank God, and not the best influence.

  Sadie buried her head under the pillow. Jayna’s words were ringing in her ears. She had to admit she wasn’t sure what bothered her more: was it Dylan’s threat to Travis, or Travis’s comment about her being nothing more than a sister?

  She knew she wouldn’t be receiving any goodnight Bitmojis from Travis and desperately wanted to send him one, but she was too afraid he might not respond.

  Chapter 24

  Sadie

  The second Sadie opened her eyes she was already thinking about how embarrassed she was for what Dylan had said to Travis. She hated that kind of attitude in boys, and she was definitely miffed at Dylan. The question was whether she should say something to Travis about it or just let it be. He had no idea she had overheard, and she didn’t want an awkward wall between the two of them.

  She stepped over Liz on the floor, grabbed some clothes, and went in the bathroom to change. When she came out into the bright airy kitchen, she smelled coffee. She saw an electric fry pan, a box of pancake mix, and syrup sitting out on the counter ready to go. Her dad must be planning breakfast.

  Sadie grabbed her favorite mug from the glass cupboard—the ceramic one with bright colored flip-flops painted on it that had been at the cottage since she was little—and poured herself a cup of coffee. With a banana in hand, she headed for the porch.

  Sure enough, Sadie found her dad staring out at the water with a cup of coffee in his hands and an unread paper folded on his lap. Even though she was far from quiet as she padded onto the porch, he hadn’t heard her coming or noticed that she had plopped down in the Adirondack chair next to him.

  “Morning, Dad.”

  “Oh, hey, sweetie. You’re up early. How’d you sleep?”

  “Fine.”

  “Are you and Andrea going for a walk?”

  “Yeah, in a bit.”

  Kurt smiled at Sadie. “Just as she and your mom used to do.” Kurt leaned his head back on the chair as if it helped him remember Lydia better. “They used to come back and make a huge breakfast, the works. I always loved the smell of bacon wafting out onto the porch from the kitchen. I thought I would make bacon and pancakes this morning once everyone was up and around.”

  It made Sadie feel good that he cherished the same memories she did. She wondered what his favorite memories of Pentwater were. “One summer, you, Paige, and Travis decided to take a walk into the dunes after dinner. Your mom, Marissa, and Andrea had gone inside to do dishes and left us dads to watch over the kids. We failed!

  All of a sudden you kids were just gone! You couldn’t have been more than four at the time, so it was utter panic around here. We all feared the worst, that the three of you waded into the water after each other and drowned. We were running around, frantically yelling your names.

  Finally, about fifteen minutes later, we found all three of you together over at the public beach, hanging with the teenagers at the volleyball courts. I will never forget the feeling when we came over that last dune to see you running around so carefree. Your mother, Marissa, and Andrea were all in tears, hugging and kissing you kids, and Benton, Marcus, and I all felt like the biggest losers. Of course, we all got chewed out.”

  Sadie wasn’t so sure where this story was going, or where it had even come from, but she was pretty sure her dad had been sitting out here thinking about her mother and the past. She wondered if he felt as close to her here as she did.

  Sadie took a sip of her coffee. “I bet Mom is glad we’re here. It might sound weird, but I feel like this place was sacred to her.”

  Kurt’s face paled, and he lowered his eyes for an instant. “Sadie, look. I need to talk to you about something. I’ll be honest with you, sweetie. I understand if you’re upset or confused, but—”

  Instantly, Sadie felt an elephant step on her chest and anger rise up in her like she couldn’t believe. “I already know about Marissa, Dad, and it makes me sick. Have you loved her all along? Did you two have an affair? Is that why she and Mom had the falling out? Did Marissa beg Mom on her death bed to forgive her?”

  Sadie stood up from her chair and slammed the coffee mug down on the railing, sending the hot liquid splashing all over her hand and arm. She welcomed the burn—it only added fuel to her fiery rage.

  Kurt sat, looking stunned in his chair, staring up at Sadie. “No, Sadie, Marissa and I did not have an affair, I promise you that.”

  “So you just waited until Mom died to start sleeping with her?” As soon as the words left Sadie’s mouth, she regretted them, and from the look on her dad’s face, she knew she had crossed the line.

  “Don’t you ever talk to me that way, Sadie. Do you understand? Have some respect.” Kurt’s voice was deep and firm, a voice Sadie rarely heard. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I am not sleeping with Marissa.” He clenched the arms of his chair in anger.

  Sadie’s voice was rising, and against her will, tears began spilling out. “What happened then? Why is it such a big secret? And why, out of all the women in the world, do you have to be with Marissa? How could you do that to Mom and our family? You’re betraying your dead wife and embarrassing us!”

  Kurt leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees, and buried his head in his hands. “It’s complicated, Sadie, but I assure you . . .” Kurt hesitated, seeming to choose his words carefully. “What has developed between Marissa and me was not there before Mom died. We have only been casually seeing each other over the last couple of months.”

  “So that’s supposed to make it alright? Your girlfriend is your dead wife’s ex-best friend, Dad. How does that sound to you?”

  “What it sounds like to me is that two people who have known each other for a long time suddenly found themselves pulled together by unthinkable circumstances, and they realized they really care for each other. And frankly, Sadie, I don’t even need to explain this to you. I’m an adult and I will make my own choices.

  “If you must know, I have been agonizing over this for weeks, all because I love you kids with all I have in me, and I will always love your mother. She wasn’t just your mother who died, Sadie; she was my wife, my best friend, the mother of my children, and the woman I held and adored for over t
wenty-two years of my life.”

  Kurt stood up and wrapped his arms around Sadie, and she buried her head in his chest. He kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know how it happened, Sadie, but it did. I care for Marissa, and I need you to accept it.”

  “How can I when no one will tell me what Marissa did to Mom?”

  Sadie could feel Kurt’s grip on her tighten. “Sadie, let it go. It was between your mom and Marissa, and they forgave each other.”

  Sadie pulled back from Kurt and looked him in the eyes. “I was eleven when it happened, Dad. It wasn’t just between Mom and Marissa. I remember hearing you and Mom arguing, and when I asked Andrea about it the other day, she freaked out.” Sadie turned and headed down the porch steps to the beach to find Andrea for their walk. She couldn’t look at her father for one more second.

  Kurt yelled after her. “Marissa is visiting us today, Sadie. Please, at least be courteous.”

  Not a chance, thought Sadie.

  Chapter 25

  Marissa

  Marissa was a ball of nerves and anxiety. She loved Sadie like her own child. So why did she fear her? She was a sixteen-year-old child for crying out loud!

  Sadie had been through enough, and Marissa didn’t want to put her through any more stress or sadness. So here she was at 5:11 a.m. pulling out her third batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies from the oven, wondering if she was the cruelest woman in the world for seeing Kurt Booker, the husband of her deceased best friend.

  Ugh, was she wrong for dating Kurt? Was she crazy for having feelings for him? Was she completely out of her mind to think they even had a chance at making this work? What was she thinking imposing on their family vacation? Their first vacation since Lydia died.

  She swallowed her last cold gulp of coffee and realized she had downed four mugs. Not good. Marissa usually drank two mugs each morning; any more and she was cranky and irritable. She indulged herself with a hot gooey cookie and decided she needed eggs—eggs and a green smoothie.