Whispering Waves

by Jamie Berris

  Every Friday night, Sadie went to Travis’s football games. The first game she went alone and sat with Andrea and Benton. Myla and Kyla tagged along once when their own football team had an away game. Lately, Paige had asked to tag along with Sadie. At first, Sadie was reluctant, but it actually turned out to be kind of fun. Ever since their talk the night before school had started, Sadie and Paige were slowly on the mend, trying to put their family history and future into perspective.

  After the games, they usually hung out with Travis and his crowd. Sadie and Paige had met a lot of new girl and guy friends through Travis and were surprised at how easygoing they were to the newbie girls.

  Sadie noticed how different Paige was around his gang—more laid back and fun. The way Paige and Cody had been eyeing each other was obvious, but to Sadie’s surprise, Paige hadn’t mentioned a word about him.

  This wasn’t normal Paige behavior. By now she was usually throwing herself at whatever guy showed interest in her, obsessing over him. She was playing it cool, being a bit of a flirt, but not acting overly interested. Travis even asked about Paige on Cody’s behalf, and Sadie was honest when she said she wasn’t sure what Paige thought about him.

  Tomorrow night Sadie, Paige, Myla, and Kyla were all making the trip to the game. Travis’s friend was having a few people over to his house after the game. Kurt and Marissa were actually meeting up with Andrea and Benton for the game too.

  Since Sadie and Paige had tennis practice together, they had started carpooling. On a few occasions, Paige had come home with Sadie after practice, and Marissa had also come over for dinner. Sadie wasn’t thrilled with the situation, but she was slowly getting used to it. Spending more time with Paige helped ease the anguish.

  The six of them either squeezed around the table to a dinner Marissa had prepared and brought over, or sometimes she had made dinner alongside Kurt in their kitchen. Marissa was slowly teaching Kurt how to cook. The apron her dad wore annoyed Sadie, but her dad loved Googling recipes and trying them out with Marissa at his side. There was something kind of cool about it, but Sadie kept that to herself.

  On the nights Marissa ate at their house, she insisted on cleaning the kitchen herself; that was, after everyone had helped clear the table. Sadie would go to her room and do her homework, just as she had done when her mother was alive. She still took it upon herself to help Nicholas with his bath and read him books, but sometimes he would ask if Marissa could read to him instead.

  Since Sadie’s homecoming dance was on a different night than Travis’s, they decided they would go to both school dances. She was excited to shop for two dresses. “Technically, I could wear the same dress to both, but that would be cheesy,” she said to her dad when he furrowed his brow at the mention of purchasing double the dresses, two pair of matching shoes, and two sets of accessories.

  Sadie had shopped with Myla and Kyla on a couple of different occasions, but had no luck. She had begun to scour the Internet, trying to find something she could order, but she was nervous about ordering the wrong size and then having to spend more money shipping it back.

  ~*~

  The next morning Sadie awoke to the sound of Nicholas sword fighting the pillows on the couch, so she snuck down to the kitchen to make eggs, bacon, and bagels. She returned to her bedroom with breakfast on a tray for Myla, Kyla, and Paige. Cranking the windows open to a crisp, cool fall morning caused many groans and moans.

  “It’s the weekend, Sadie,” moaned Kyla.

  “Seriously,” Paige said, “it’s against my weekend conduct code to wake up before noon.” She pulled the covers over her head.

  “The fresh autumn air smells amazing,” Myla said, sticking her nose up to the screen.

  After eating their breakfast picnic style on Sadie’s bedroom floor, the girls were all laughing and giggling, replaying the events of last night. They reminisced about the two floozy girls who ended up in the hot tub in their bras and underwear, the boy who thought he was the karate kid and tied a scarf around his head and karate chopped beer cans on the kitchen table, and the two girls with boy haircuts, obviously new to lesbianism.

  All the girls decided it was fun to be in a town where there wasn’t any history or knowledge of cliques. There were no barriers—they could talk to whomever they wanted or be whomever they wanted without it flying through the Internet waves hours later or the hallways come Monday morning.

  “Oh. My. Gosh,” said Paige. “I’m going to homecoming with Cody! I totally forgot he asked me last night. I mean, right, Sadie? He did ask me? Yes, he did, he asked me just before you threw me in the car. Ugh, I’m so embarrassed. I probably made such a fool out of myself, and he probably doesn’t want to go anymore.”

  Paige wouldn’t stop rambling. “I’m so nervous I mean I barely know him, and the dance is in two weeks! Can we double with you and Travis? Where am I going to find a dress? What if it’s too late to get an appointment to get my hair done?”

  ~*~

  Later that afternoon, Sadie was working on an English Lit paper when Paige called. “Pack your bags. We’re going to Chicago.”

  “What? What are you talking about?”

  “Me, you, and my mom. We just spent a wasted two hours at the mall. Talk about junk!”

  “Tell me about it.”

  Through the phone, Sadie could hear Paige rushing about, probably throwing clothes in her duffle bag. “So anyway, I looked at my mom and told her I wished we had time to go to Chicago and she said, ‘Let’s go!’

  “Seriously, if we jump in the car and don’t hit any traffic, we’ll be there by five. We can shop until the stores close tonight and all Sunday afternoon.”

  Sadie grabbed a chunk of her hair and twisted it into a knot. This would be way too weird. Things were going okay with Paige, but driving to Chicago and staying in a hotel room with her and Marissa, no way. “I have an English Lit paper due on Monday that I totally procrastinated about. Besides, I’m going out with Travis tonight.”

  “Saaaadie, come on. Bring your laptop. We will have it written by the time we get there. I have that class two periods before you and I did my paper Thursday night in less than three hours.”

  “I promised Travis.”

  “Tell him you’ll meet up Sunday night. We’ll have you home by six. Pleeease, it’ll be fun.”

  Sadie knew she wasn’t getting out of it. Her dad would push her; Travis would push her. So twenty minutes later she was tossing her bag in the trunk of Marissa’s sporty little BMW.

  Kurt was elated, gave her his credit card, and for the first time set no limit. “Have fun, honey.” Sadie kissed, hugged, and thanked him. “Thank you,” he said, and she knew what he meant but didn’t comment on it.

  Nicholas cried as they pulled out of the driveway. He had begun calling Marissa “Rissy” and he was upset that he couldn’t go with her. He had started in the developmental kindergarten class for five-year-olds not quite ready for full-on kindergarten. Socially, he was a bit behind, mostly separation issues.

  Most of the pictures he brought home had Marissa drawn on them. He even had plenty of pictures he drew specifically for Marissa. He would pile them up in the pantry until he saw her next. Sadie caught herself one morning at breakfast, telling him to be sure to draw a picture for her that day. It never occurred to Sadie that she would be competing with Marissa for his attention.

  The drive to Chicago was over in the blink of an eye. As promised, Paige helped Sadie with her paper, and Sadie knew that with Paige’s help it was a definite A. Sadie also knew she would have spent double the time on it without Paige’s help and gotten a B.

  They checked into their hotel just for the sake of dropping their bags and sending the car off to an unknown parking garage. They were definitely on a mission, hauling armloads of dresses to the changing rooms at Saks Fifth Avenue, Niemen Marcus, BCBG, Bloomingdales, and some smaller boutique stores.

  Thank God for the capability of cell phones to snap pictures and text them in an instant.
Sadie had really liked at least a half dozen dresses so far that she texted pictures of to both Myla and Kyla for their honest opinions. Paige’s and Marissa’s opinions counted too, but the more the merrier.

  Surprisingly, Marissa was fun to shop with. She had good taste and would tell them if a style made them look frumpy, smutty, or in some cases, like a bridesmaid. When they hit a shopping slump, she disappeared and came back to the dressing room with Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccinos.

  After closing the stores, with several dresses being held at multiple shops, the trio plopped in a booth at The Cheesecake Factory. They shared gigantic plates of avocado eggrolls, fried macaroni and cheese, Factory nachos, four cheese pasta, and a California cheesesteak sandwich.

  Sadie opted for the Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake Cheesecake, Paige the Oreo Dream Extreme Cheesecake, and Marissa indulged in the 30th Anniversary Chocolate Cake Cheesecake. Sharing was the best part. With each bite, Sadie felt a little more at ease with the two of them. They ate until they felt sick, but it was worth every bite.

  “We won’t be able to zip the dresses tomorrow,” said Sadie, sipping her water.

  Marissa chuckled. “Ha! You two have the metabolism of horses, thanks to tennis and your age. Just wait until you hit forty. It’s like a switch, and, bam, gravity is your best friend, and every bite you eat clings to you like the plague.”

  “I didn’t know horses had super-fast metabolisms,” said Paige, squishing the last bit of cheesecake left on her plate with her fork.

  “It was a mere figure of speech, dear, a cheetah, lion, or ape, whatever.” Marissa flung her hand.

  “It seems an ape would have a slow metabolism. Don’t they just sit around? I mean, at the zoo, they’re always just sitting there scratching themselves and eating bugs out of their hair.”

  “Do you always have to critique me, Paige?”

  Sadie cracked a smile, remembering when she and Lydia would do this very same nonsense bickering. Now she did it with Jayna.

  “Grab your bags, girls. I need a hot shower, a robe, and a pillow to prop my feet up.”

  Both Sadie and Paige had managed to purchase a new pair of skinny jeans and a few other loose ends they couldn’t resist. Marissa slipped out of the booth with a moan, and Sadie and Paige followed suit.

  They walked the streets of Chicago in the cold fall air amid the hustle and bustle of city life: cabs honking, sirens blaring every so often from a fire truck, night clubs pumping below the streets, silver and gold spray painted musicians trying to make a few bucks on the street, and the clacking of stilettos as the women dressed to the hilt exited the upscale restaurants.

  Back in their room at the Omni Suites, they found Sixteen Candles on HBO. Marissa said it was her favorite movie in high school—she had watched it so many times she could recite most of the lines. “In fact, I used to make your mother watch it in college. It was the only VHS tape I owned. Lydia had the biggest crush on Jake Ryan the first time she saw it—actually, we both did.”

  Marissa held Sadie’s gaze with a smile. Sadie wondered if Marissa knew how much she liked to hear people talk about her mother, just to hear her name spoken. Marissa, out of all people, knew so much and had so many stories about her mom.

  Sadie wanted to hear more, but she couldn’t just say the words, “Talk about her.” It seemed strange, so instead she joked, “Now I know why she married my dad. They look like they could be twins. I mean when my dad was younger.”

  Maybe not twins, but Kurt did resemble Jake Ryan with the incredible eyes and dark hair.

  “Ha! When your mom first met your dad, she teased that she was going to call him Jake!

  “Do you girls remember the time we drove to Michigan Adventure for the day and got a flat tire?”

  Sadie and Paige immediately started laughing and nodding. “Yeah, and the old man that stopped to help us . . .” Sadie could barely get the words out, she was laughing so hard. “He was changing the tire, and Jayna screamed, ‘Ew, Mommy, that man’s bum crack stinks so bad the flies are landing on it!’”

  There had been a dead deer about ten feet away from where they had pulled over on the side of the road, and a few of the flies buzzed over.

  “I had never been so embarrassed,” said Marissa, covering up her mouth. “Lydia and I were apologizing profusely to that poor guy, and all he said was, ‘That little girl is gonna keep ya on yer toes, Missus. You all have a good day now.’ He yanked up his pants as he walked away.”

  They kept telling stories and laughing until almost two in the morning. Sadie went to sleep with a smile on her face and had the most amazing dream of her mother.

  Sadie ended up with two completely different dresses. One was a deep purple, almost black, floor-length gown that hugged her tight. It was straight over her chest with beading and one crossover strap that ran from under her right arm to her left shoulder and around her back in a crisscross.

  The other was a fitted, short, and strapless pale pink that showed off some killer strappy shoes. Paige and Marissa both agreed that she had picked two red carpet dresses.

  Paige’s style was bolder than Sadie’s, and she found the brightest of bright yellow. It was Paige—it made a statement, and it was beautiful. Held up by two spaghetti straps, the sheer fabric fell elegantly over her skin, still lightly tanned from summer.

  They both found shoes and jewelry, not the kind they admired from the window at Tiffany’s, but perfect for their dresses and their budget. Sadie knew she would be raiding her mom’s jewelry box for her tennis bracelet for the pink dress.

  Since Paige and Cody were also going to both school dances and Sadie saw the way Paige had eyed her pink dress when she brought it in the dressing room, Sadie suggested they purchase it together and share it. One of them would wear it to the first dance and the other to the second. Even though Paige had two inches on Sadie, it still fit her great.

  Sunday night, when Marissa pulled in Sadie’s driveway, Sadie made a bold move. “Hey, why don’t you two come in and we’ll order pizza for dinner. I’m sure my dad won’t mind,” she said with a wink. Looking at Paige, she said, “Travis is coming over. I’ll tell him to snag Cody on his way.”

  When Sadie crawled in bed Sunday night, she counted her blessings. She didn’t have her mom, but she still had a lot of people to love; the houseful tonight proved it.

  ~*~

  Marissa

  Paige thanked her mother all the way home. “Chicago was so much fun,” she had said over and over. Marissa was more than relieved the trip had gone as well as it had. They shopped, ate, and laughed until their stomachs hurt. It didn’t get any better than that.

  Marissa felt they had turned a huge corner. The three of them had spent good quality time together, and they were all at ease, even Sadie. Marissa had finally seen Sadie’s genuine smile, something that rarely showed when Marissa was present.

  The icing on the cake was that Marissa knew Paige wanted the relationship between her and Kurt to progress. Paige had begun to show affection to Nicholas, and he warmed right up to her. She had even picked out a new Iron Man figurine for him at The Disney Store and brought him home a bag of Garrett’s Popcorn.

  Marissa had watched Sadie’s reaction closely, and she seemed completely okay with it, remarking that Nicholas would love the gifts. Nicholas gave Paige a huge hug, and Marissa saw Paige’s eyes fill up.

  Later, when Paige was on her way to bed, she remarked how quiet it was at their house. She mentioned that, at the Booker’s, everyone bed-swapped. Sometimes Jayna slept in Sadie’s bed, Nicholas slept in Jayna’s, and sometimes all three siblings slept in the same room. “How cool is that?”

  Marissa wrapped up in a sweater and called Kurt from her rocker on the front porch. The autumn air was refreshing, but she already missed the thick and humid summer nights. The night was dark, and only a few stars twinkled amongst a sliver of a moon.

  “So tell me what she said, Kurt? I really had a great time. I think we may have cleared the
hurdle this weekend.”

  “It’s more of what Sadie didn’t say. She didn’t tell me I was a disgrace to the family. She didn’t call you ‘her.’ She didn’t refer to you as ‘my girlfriend.’ She didn’t give me the cold shoulder and silent treatment. She didn’t act as if I disgusted her.”

  Marissa could tell by Kurt’s voice that he was smiling. “Sadie told me about watching Sixteen Candles and the reference with Jake Ryan. She talked of all the dresses you hauled in the dressing room and how she thought you would tip over if one more dress was in your arms. She bragged about dinner and the cheesecake. Thanks to you, Marissa, she had an amazing time.”

  She was silent for a moment, and Kurt asked if she was still on the line. “I’m here. This is all so bizarre, you know.” She choked back tears. “I’m happy for us, of course, but you know what I’m most happy for? I’m happy that I could be there with Sadie as she picked out her dress because I know Lydia would want that.”

  Chapter 53

  Sadie

  Sadie hadn’t thought much about her mother’s diary since school started. She had been so busy it hadn’t really crossed her mind, until now. She was home alone doing homework and eating noodles topped with Prego and parmesan cheese. Jayna was somewhere with Chrissie, and her dad and Nicholas were at the movies with Marissa seeing How to Train Your Dragon 2.

  She went down in the basement and dug through the 2009 tub, but the diary from that summer that she and Jayna had read in Pentwater had not been put back. Did her dad hide it? He had made it clear that he thought they shouldn’t read anymore of the diary, but would he go as far as hiding it from them?

  Sadie was just about to go upstairs and look for it when she picked up another one labeled Fall 2009.

  October 22, 2009