Stuck in Between (Bound by Your Love)

by Bennett, Blakely

  “He has a shock coming.” Red ran his hand through my hair that draped over my shoulder, twirling the end around his finger.

  “No kidding. So when do we tell him? How do we tell him?” I said, trying to ignore the chills running down my neck.

  “I’m certain the moment will present itself. Right now, I want to concentrate on you.”

  “He said something else I wanted to tell you first.”

  “Okay.”

  “He said he always uses condoms with his lovers, just not with me.”

  “That’s interesting. I didn’t realize that.”

  “I got tested today,” I blurted out. I hadn’t meant to share that information until I received the results.

  His broad smile lit up his face. “When do you expect to get the answers back?”

  “Maybe by Friday.”

  “I’m not sure I can wait that long.” He looked so serious I started laughing. “What are you laughing at?”

  “Sorry,” I said, trying to suppress my glee. “I wanted your cock inside me that first night. Of course, I didn’t expect us to speak again after that. Besides, I thought we were waiting for the test results and delaying until we told Bond. Which to me is a bit silly, the Bond part, I mean because this...”—I drew a line in the air between us—“...will in no way be a walk in the park. If we’re waiting for him to come around, we might be waiting—”

  He reached over and began unbuttoning my shirt.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “You’ve convinced me, we needn’t wait.”

  “Hang on a sec,” I said, pushing his hands away. “Care to catch me up?”

  “Am I going to need to tie you down?” He slid my shirt off my shoulders.

  “I need a shower first.”

  He reached behind me and unhooked my bra, letting it fall down my arms. Looming over me, he sniffed and nibbled my neck. “You taste and smell incredible.”

  “I’d rather not be tied down for our first time,” I said, glancing up at the towering muscular man in front of me.

  “Agreed. And I want to take it slow, even if it kills me.”

  “Very funny big boy. I think you’ll survive.”

  “Let’s go upstairs,” he said, not waiting for me to respond. He lifted me in his arms and took the stairs two at a time.

  “You sure are in a hurry,” I said as he placed me down in his room.

  “I’m impatient to get started.” He pulled his shirt over his head and removed his button-fly jeans.

  “Apparently!” I stepped out of my slacks and panties.

  He stared at me intently until he gently cradled my face in his big hands. Tilting my head to the side, he started with sultry nips along my neck until his smoldering demand possessed my mouth. The intensity of his kiss threw me off balance, and I reached out for him, gripping his shoulders. He enveloped me in his arms, pulling me tightly against him as he delved into my mouth, caressing my tongue with his. His kiss provoked every nerve ending to spark, leaving me helpless. He disarmed me yet again with his powerful presence, making me pliable and weak in his arms.

  I struggled to breathe, to think, to calm my pounding pulse. Red had the ability to render me to my most submissive form, and yet, I trusted, foolishly or not, that he wouldn’t take advantage of the opportunity.

  “Damn,” I breathed out, once we parted. “How do you do that?”

  He shook his head. “It’s not just me, Jacqs. It’s us together.” His chest rose and fell rapidly too.

  “I…” I paused.

  “Tell me.”

  “I’m scared.”

  “Why?” He sat on the edge of the bed and held his arms out to me.

  I huddled on his lap, glanced away and said, “Because the last time I said it, my heart was chewed up and spit out. I couldn’t take it if—”

  “Baby, look at me.”

  I scanned his face, losing myself in his bright green eyes. His expression told me what I needed to know.

  “I love you and I have no doubts,” he said. “This will work, with or without Bond.”

  I touched the whiskers on his cheeks, fingering his beard. “I love— What was that?”

  “Shit, that was my phone. I need to get it.” He sat me to the side of him and picked up his pants. He fumbled in his jeans pocket and grabbed his cell phone. “How was Bond when you left him?”

  “How do you mean? We hugged goodbye and—”

  “Was he drunk?”

  “He had wine at dinner … most of a bottle I guess, but I’m not sure. He didn’t seem drunk to me.”

  “Did he head up to his apartment or go into the club?”

  I shook my head and said, “Look, I don’t know, I didn’t wait to see where he went. What’s wrong?”

  “He sent an SOS. I have to go.” He thumbed a response on his phone keypad.

  “Yes, of course.”

  He stepped into his jeans and retrieved a clean shirt from a drawer in his dresser. “Please wait for me here.”

  I slipped into my pants, and said, “No, I’ll go home and wait there. You can call me when you know anything. You might need to bring him back here and well—”

  “Okay.” He stepped into a pair of boat shoes and said, “This is not how I wanted this to go.”

  “Maybe it’s a sign,” I said, crossing my arms over my naked breast.

  “Don’t be silly. I’ll see you in a little while and we’ll continue…” he said. He hunched over and sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. Letting go, he finished his thought, “...right where we left off.”

  We walked down the stairs together and I retrieved my bra and shirt and put them back on. I lifted my bag off the counter and swung it over my shoulder.

  “Come here, Little One.”

  I shuffled over to him, keeping my eyes downcast. He lifted my chin and swooped down for a steamy goodbye kiss. I fell against him, my need simmering to the surface again, but it couldn’t completely dispel the concern that I was the cause of Bond’s call.

  “It’ll be okay, love. I’ll call as soon as I can.”

  As we walked to our separate cars, I whispered, “I love you,” knowing he couldn’t hear me. Tears filled my eyes as I got into my car. My overwhelming angst told me that this was the calm before the storm and I wasn’t sure I had anything solid to hang on to.

  I drove home with the radio blaring in an attempt to drown out the thoughts that threatened to tear me down. I shouldn’t have mentioned the dual dating scenario so soon after the anniversary of the accident. What the hell had I been thinking? Why did I feel so comfortable with Red, the man who for years did everything in his power to piss me off? Why did it still hurt that I was not enough for Bond? Could never be enough? Would Red get sick of me too? Would he decide that he too needed other women?

  “Fuck,” I yelled as I slammed my fist against the stirring wheel.

  Once I arrived home, I paced back and forth across the living room. I needed to talk to someone, and I didn’t know if I could withstand Lainie’s judgment. I thought about calling my sister, but I still hadn’t forgiven her for stealing my car. I couldn’t call any of our mutual friends; I didn’t want to put them in the middle of anything. They would be there soon enough, unless Red came to his senses in my regard. I still worried Red might change his mind about me because of what loving me could cost him.

  My breathing felt erratic and forced. Giving in to the pressure, I dialed Lainie.

  “Hey girl,” she said when she answered my call.

  “Hi Lainie.” I perched on a stool, flipping the stack of mail back and forth.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “Tell me.”

  “I think I just needed to hear your voice. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to hear my latest drama.” I got up and started to pace.

  “That’s probably very true, but I love you anyway. Tell me and I’ll try to do my best to be helpful.”

  �
�Red came up with this stupidly brilliant idea that I should date both him and Bond and—”

  “I’m certain you said fuck no, if I know you, but there is actually a kind of—”

  “Who the fuck are you, and where is Lainie?”

  “Very funny, Jacqueline. What I mean to say is, very few people in the world have success with just being a couple, so three people in the relationship would make it an even bigger long shot. But since, after all these years, you haven’t made even the smallest progress towards getting over Bond, it sort of makes sense to me. Of course, that doesn’t factor in the hell that will break loose once Bond knows the other guy is Red.”

  “You’ve twisted my brain with all of that. Are you saying you’re for it, but you don’t think it will ever work?”

  She laughed and said, “Yes, something like that. So other than that, what has you so freaked out?”

  “Red and I were about to make love and Bond sent an SOS, so Red left to make sure Bond is okay. I’m worried that Bond is freaking out because I mentioned the dual dating scenario.”

  “You did?” Lainie asked. I could hear her breathe out heavily.

  “Honestly, I’m not sure I’m even considering it, but I figured Bond would never go for it.”

  “What did he say?”

  “That he would never go for it.” I circled toward the couch and back to the kitchen. “But then he said he would consider it after he met the guy I’m seeing. I figured it was just a ploy to find out who the guy is. He wanted me to go back with him to his apartment tonight. I told him I had other plans.”

  “So he knew you were headed to see the other guy?”

  “Yes.”

  “And Red is with him now?”

  “Yes,” I said again. I sat on the edge of the couch, my knees bouncing to expend the pent up energy.

  “Well, girl, the drama is running amok with you these days.”

  “Tell me about it. Why did I have to fall for his best friend?”

  “That’s a really good question, Jacqueline, only you can answer.”

  “Ugh! Enough about me … what’s up with you? Any new dates lined up? Please tell me you’re still going to Red’s on Wednesday.”

  “Nobody worth mentioning and of course I’ll be there. Sounds like you’re going to need some moral support.”

  “You mean immoral support,” I said, laughing.

  “Yeah, that too.” She laughed along with me.

  “Thank you, Lainie. Truly. I thought you would tell me what a complete idiot I’m being.”

  “I’ll leave the name-calling for the next time I talk to Bond.”

  “Lainie—”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know, he’s had a horrible past and all of that. I’m not without compassion, but it’s been years and it’s time he started working on getting over it. I can’t excuse him because of his past. He put you through hell and not just once, Jacqs. I’m not sure he’s worth this experiment you’re considering, but since you seem to think he is, I’ll just make sure he treats you right. That goes for Red too. So, how’s the sex with Red?”

  “What we’ve done so far has been amazing, but we haven’t had intercourse yet.” I hopped up and made a circle toward the door.

  “That’s interesting,” Lainie said.

  “We were waiting, and then we weren’t, but then Bond interrupted and now, I’m—”

  “Are you pacing again?”

  “Yes, sorry. I’m scared Red is going to tell Bond and it will all be set in motion before I’ve had a chance to prepare for it.”

  “Buck up girl and get ready. The storm is a coming. I need to get going and get ready for bed. Stay in touch and I’ll see you Wednesday.”

  “Thanks Lainie, for your love and support.”

  “Sure thing,” she said just before ending the call.

  I tried to watch a cooking show and then read a few pages in my latest romance novel, but neither could provide distraction from the turmoil stirring within me. Why wasn’t Red at least texting me? I decided to shower, so I stripped off my clothes and tossed them onto the dirty laundry pile. I turned up the volume on my phone and left it by the bathroom sink. Climbing in, I let the shower pelt me with hot water.

  The longer Red took to contact me, the more my worst fears reared up, threatening to consume me—for the sake of his friendship with Bond, Red would choose to end our relationship. Not only could I lose Bond, but I could lose Red too and all of our friends. I consoled myself by remembering that Lainie was my friend and would always stand by me. My sister, if she ever got her shit together, might be there for me too.

  Without giving the task much attention, I couldn’t recall if I had washed my body. Forcing myself to focus, I finished the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I checked my phone for the umpteenth time and plopped down on my bed.

  After I had dried my hair, I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to my neck. Maybe I could force sleep to come. I checked my phone one last time, plugged in the charger, and eventually dosed off.

  Watching from a house across the Intracoastal from Red’s, I could see his home, and the one Bond must have purchased, right beside it. They shared the double yard, kids running around and swimming in the pool. They each had a tall beautiful wife with blonde hair. One of the thin, statuesque women handed Red a beer and I could see the way he smiled at her. The same way he had once smiled at me. I saw Bond laughing when a miniature version of him did a cannonball into the deep end of the pool. They’d forgotten all about me and had moved on to create wonderful lives for themselves.

  I shuffled away from the view, ambling back to my car as my heart broke into a million pieces. You should be happy for them, I chastised myself. You’re the one who set out to ruin everything. You deserve to be alone.

  The sob caught in my throat waking me out of my dream. I scanned my room, getting my bearings. My breathing felt labored so I took a few deep breaths in an effort to calm myself. Scrambling out of bed, I went into the bathroom. I splashed water on my face and brushed my teeth in a feeble effort to get my shit together.

  Back in my room, I sat on the bed and saw that my clock read 11:32 p.m. Red had left his house around eight o’clock, and over three hours had passed. I couldn’t wait any longer and sent a text to him.

  Me: Is everything okay?

  Five minutes turtled by ever so slowly.

  Red: I’m here.

  I jumped up, wrapped my robe around myself, and snatched my phone away from the charger as I ran to the front door.

  Me: Here?

  Red: Just parking.

  “Oh god,” I said out loud. I leaned against the wall beside the door and listened for his approach. With apprehension coursing through my body, I had two thoughts—I wanted him here, more than anything, and yet I was frightened of what he might say.

  Hearing his footsteps, I unlocked the door, opening it for him. He passed through the doorway and spun around to face me.

  He scanned me from head to toe, taking in my dejected appearance. “It’s going to be okay. It might take a while but—”

  “You told him?” I stayed put, afraid to approach him.

  “I had to. He kept going on and on about who this guy might be and I couldn’t keep it from him. Why are you shaking, love?”

  I stared up at him, wanting him to touch me, wishing he would reassure me.

  “We’ll get through this together,” he said, taking my hand in his and leading me over to the couch.

  I willed my shoulders to relax and sat down next to him. “You haven’t changed your mind?”

  “About us?” he asked as he scrunched his eyebrows together.

  “Yes,” I said, glancing up at him.

  “Baby, you’re stuck with me. I’m sorry I didn’t contact you sooner. I couldn’t text in the middle of us arguing, and I just wanted to get to you as fast as possible. Come here.”

  I scooted closer, and he lowered his mouth to mine, sweeping me up in his lust and love. Tears eked out of my eye
s as he squeezed me in close. Pressing against him, the fear of losing him dissipated, but I felt emotionally raw and on edge.

  He kissed my forehead and eyes, tasting my tears. “What is it, Jacqs?”

  “I … just got worried … you might change your mind and—”

  “I love you. I told Bond as much.”

  “I love you, too and I’m just so scared what this might do to all of us.”

  His beaming smile helped to ease some of my fears.

  I had finally said it.

  He lifted me up and kissed the tip of my nose. “You’ve made me so happy and it’ll all be worth it in the end.” He carried me to the bedroom, slipped off his shoes, and we lay down facing each other.

  “Tell me what happened.” I reached out and touched his arm.

  He lifted my hair away from my face and looped it over my left ear. “Like I suspected, he went next door to the club and started drinking scotch. I found him there, and we went up to his place. He looked crazed, going on and on about losing you, and the creep you must have hooked up with.”

  “How did you tell him?”

  “I said, ‘That man is me and you haven’t lost her’. He just looked at me as if I had spoken a foreign language. He continued his rant until I stopped him.”

  “What was he ranting about?”

  “That you’d hooked up with some wimpy imbecile that’s willing to share you.”

  “How did you get him to hear you?”

  “I said, well actually yelled, ‘Bond, shut up for a minute. How drunk are you? I’m trying to tell you something.’ He said, ‘What the fuck? I’m not drunk; I’m angry.’ And then I said, ‘Just sit the fuck down for a second.’ And he finally did, and I told him, ‘We’ve been like brothers since we were kids, and I’m asking you to hear me out.’ He just looked up and didn’t say anything. So I said, ‘I’m in love with Jacqs, I have been for years but out of respect—’ Then he yelled, ‘Respect? You love Jacqs? Wait a minute.’ He stood and took a swing at me.”