No Shame

by Nora Phoenix

  Either way, Miles was hot, a classic California surfer boy. More importantly, he was kind. Smart, too. He was seeing way more of Brad than his best friend realized, and seemed pretty determined to figure him out. Should Charlie be concerned or jealous? He mulled it over. Interestingly enough, he was neither. He was curious, and maybe actually rooting for Miles to get through to Brad? Somebody had to, because he seemed hell-bent on getting hurt.

  “What’s the plan for today, guys?” Noah asked.

  “I have jiujitsu in an hour,” Indy said, “and Blake asked me to stick around for the women’s class he teaches. He’s looking for another teacher and thought I might be interested.”

  Noah’s look of surprise told Charlie that was news for him.

  “You think you’d like that?” Noah asked.

  Indy nodded, beamed. “Yeah. Now that I don’t need to hide anymore, I’d love to see if that’s something I could do.”

  “You’re certainly good enough,” Miles said, carefully bringing another bite of pancake to his mouth. “He kicked my ass back in Kansas.”

  Indy grinned. “You were a little overconfident, dude.”

  Miles looked sheepish. “Word. To be fair, Indy totally downplayed his jiujitsu skills. I thought he was a novice. He humiliated me, then proceeded to beat another agent as well.” He stilled, and the smile on Indy’s face disappeared. “Fisher was a total homophobe and a major asshole, but he was a good agent.”

  From his words, Charlie deducted this Fisher guy had died. Brad had said something about Indy being attacked while in FBI custody.

  “That’s how you met, right?” he asked Miles.

  “Yeah. I was one of the agents on Indy’s protective detail. We erm, kinda bonded, I guess.”

  Indy snorted. “We didn’t bond. You wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone, and then when you attended to my injuries after my bout with Fisher, you got a massive boner.”

  Charlie’s eyes grew big. How would Miles take this? He still wasn’t entirely sure what the deal was with him and his…condition. It seemed so far-fetched when Brad had explained it to him.

  “It wasn’t a massive boner. I got a little excited, that’s all.”

  “Dude, I walked in on you jacking yourself off. There was nothing little about it.”

  There were snorts and laughs all around the table.

  “And thanks, Indy, for making me relive that moment. It’s a few more hours till Brad gets home, okay, so have mercy on me?”

  Charlie look sideways to Miles and let his eyes travel down, to where the man’s erection was clearly visible. Miles met his eyes when he finally could tear his eyes away, and his gaze was so vulnerable it hit Charlie deep.

  “You really are hard all the time,” Charlie said in wonder. Brad had told him, but it had been an abstract concept to him. To be fair, he’d suspected Miles had blown up the whole thing. Sure, some men had more sex drive than others, but who the fuck needed at least four orgasms a day? He was starting to see the deep truth behind it, though. Despite all the joking and teasing, this was a real problem for Miles.

  The group grew quiet. “Yes,” Miles said. “I swear to God, it’s not personal, Charlie. But if it bothers you even the slightest, I’ll stay out of your way, okay? I usually wear two tight boxers so it doesn’t show as much, but I didn’t think of it since everyone here’s been so relaxed about it. I can do that, if you want, or I’ll find another place to stay.”

  He was nervous, Charlie realized. The super cool FBI agent was babbling. “It’s okay,” Charlie said slowly. “I’m more…curious.”

  Miles swallowed. “Ask.”

  “Ask?”

  “Anything. I’ve never talked about this before, but everyone here knows, and they haven’t run me off with pitch forks so far.”

  “We’re waiting till you get better,” Noah joked. “It’s no fun bringing in pitchforks when you’re injured.”

  Charlie let his gaze wonder down again, where Miles’ pajama was still tenting. “How do you cope with the embarrassment?” he asked.

  Miles’ eyes grew soft, almost moist, it seemed. “It’s not easy,” he admitted. “People take it personally, you know? They think I’m some kind of perv, because I get hard in inappropriate circumstances, or they fear that I’m after their boyfriend. They don’t understand it’s a purely physical response to stimuli, and that there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  “You must have a ton of strategies to protect yourself,” Noah remarked.

  Miles nodded. “Yeah. As I said, double underwear, extra tight. Luckily, we usually wear suits, so they’re a little roomier than jeans, but on the farm in Kansas that wasn’t an option. I barely watch TV or movies, because they tend to get me excited easily. I keep my distance, avoid touching people. That’s what got me into trouble with Indy, the fact that I needed to touch him to check his injuries. Even the slightest touch can…you get the idea.”

  “I can’t even imagine what that must be like,” Josh said. “We’re all so touchy-feely here, and to miss out on that…”

  “By nature, I am, too, but I’ve discovered people don’t take it well when a casual touch makes me aroused. Imagine I’d hug you, Josh, and you’d feel me grow hard. You’d be uncomfortable at best, offended at worst, and that’s not to say what would happen if Connor saw. No offense, man.”

  Connor looked pensive, scratched his chin. “None taken. Solid point, though.”

  Miles looked down at himself with a dramatic gesture. “Solid, for certain,” he joked.

  He must want to lighten the mood after sharing something so personal. Charlie’s heart went out to him. How did the man survive like this? He had to be incredibly lonely. “How long has it been like this?” he asked.

  “This condition? Started when I was a teen, but all guys are horny at that age. Went to the doctor when I was in college, ‘cause I got worried. They ran a whole battery of tests and came back with this. I’m thirty-two, so it’s been a while.”

  “And nobody touches you?” Charlie asked.

  “Right now, Brad. Before that, no one. I had a boyfriend, but…” Miles’ sigh was deep and sad, and Charlie’s heart contracted in response. “Casey couldn’t deal with it. Well, that was one of the reasons he dumped me, but yeah. I tried one-night stands, but that was too embarrassing to deal with.”

  The kitchen was quiet as Miles’ pain hummed around for everyone to feel. Brad should have been there, Charlie thought, should have heard and seen this. If Brad had seen Miles’ vulnerability and how loving these men had reacted, maybe it could have helped him to realize no one was gonna reject him for his issues.

  Then again, being Brad, he’d need more than that. What, Charlie didn’t know. Fuck knew he’d tried over the years to give Brad what he needed, to be who he needed, but it had not been enough. Or it hadn’t been the right thing. Brad needed something, beyond mere understanding for his issues, but damned if Charlie knew what it was. He could only hope he’d either discover what it was and help Brad, or that Brad would find what he was looking for before his reckless sexual behavior would hurt him. Charlie loved him, more than Brad would ever know, but one of these days he’d encounter the wrong guy and get hurt. Much like himself, come to think of it.

  Miles let out a huge yawn. “Sorry, guys. I’m off to bed again. Thanks for the delicious breakfast, Josh.”

  “Make sure to take your pain killers, Miles,” Noah said. “There’s no need to be in pain. Your body needs to rest and heal.”

  Miles nodded as he carefully got up from the table.

  “I’ll help you to bed,” Charlie offered without thinking.

  Miles turned his head to look at him, surprise painting his face. “You sure? You don’t have to, I can—“

  Charlie put his hands on his hips, shot him a deadly glare. “If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have offered. Don’t treat me like china, just because I was stupid enough to let my boyfriend beat the crap out of me. I’m a lot stronger than I look.”

 
Hello, anger. It was still there, clearly.

  Miles’ face went from relaxed surfer boy to authoritative in one sec, and Charlie watched, fascinated. “Don’t ever call yourself stupid. You’re not to blame. He is. This not on you, no matter what you said or did. He’s the motherfucking asshole, not you.”

  Charlie nodded, impressed with Miles’ tone as much as his words. Wow, that had been seriously cool. Hot, even.

  Mile’s eyes softened. “And I’m sorry for making you feel like you were delicate. It wasn’t my intention.”

  Charlie swallowed. “I know. I’m…it’s touchy for me. Because of my size and shit, people always assume I’m some fragile flower that needs protecting. I can take care of myself.”

  “I won’t make that mistake again,” Miles said, a hint of a smile on his lips. “I’d appreciate your help.”

  Charlie grinned, desperate to break the sudden tension. “I’ll even tell you a fucking bedtime story.”

  Miles slowly walked toward his bedroom. “What kind of story?”

  Charlie walked next to him, ready to extend a hand if the man needed one. “Well, Brad always entertains me with his fuck stories, but I guess with your condition that would be kinda rude, no?”

  Miles held out his hand, a gesture that packed a deep meaning. Charlie grabbed it, smiling, as they walked together. Max followed them, maybe hoping for more treats from Charlie.

  “I could always retreat into the bathroom, rub one out,” Miles said.

  Charlie grinned. “True. In that case, I’ll tell you about the time Brad thought he met the perfect man, this big, furry bear—only to discover the guy had…Well, that’s what you’re about to find out.”

  In the kitchen, the others exploded in laughter, apparently still listening in to him and Miles. It felt good, joking around, even if his insides were still burning with anger, Charlie thought.

  6

  “Keep your arm strong, don’t let me push it down,” Blake told Aaron. “Let’s try it again.”

  Aaron did better this time, holding his arm tight while Blake tried to break through his defense. He still could if he wanted to, obviously, but that was not the point. Aaron was getting better at jiujitsu. He wasn’t a natural talent like Indy, and he missed that fighter’s mentality, but he made up for it with a deep willingness and desire to please Blake. The kid would walk through fire if that was what Blake told him to do. It was an honor and a responsibility Blake took seriously.

  “That’s it for today,” Blake announced. “Let’s do some cooling down.”

  Aaron immediately took off his white belt, decorated with three small black strips to indicate he was well on his way to earning a grey belt, then got rid of his gi jacket. Blake laughed when he took off his gi pants as well, leaving him in nothing else but a pair of cute, pink boxers. It was a good thing they were alone in the studio, with the front door still locked. God, he loved Sundays. He got to spend the whole day with his puppy.

  “I didn’t mean a literal cooling down,” Blake said.

  Aaron giggled. “I know, but I’m sweating my ass off.”

  Blake slapped his ass playfully. “Such a cute ass it is.”

  He’d gained some weight, Aaron had. His muscles were more defined after training with Blake, and it looked good on him. Blake loved the feel of that lean, tight body against his. He had ample opportunity to enjoy that particular sensation, because Aaron loved nothing more than touching Blake.

  He didn’t even realize it half the time, but he intuitively always sought Blake’s body. Sometimes he’d simply put his hand on Blake’s leg, or foot, or arm, but more often he wanted to feel Blake against him. His favorite spot was still at Blake’s feet, no matter if it was on the floor, on the couch, or in bed. He could sit there for hours and be absolutely, perfectly happy.

  Blake took off his own gi, stripping down to his underwear. He wasn’t particularly sweaty, but maybe he could entice Aaron in a little play before they showered? Or maybe during the shower?

  “Blake, will you do something for me?” Aaron asked.

  “Anything, puppy. What is it?”

  Aaron crumpled his nose in that cute gesture that made Blake’s stomach swirl. The kid had no idea how ridiculously cute he was.

  “Why is that always your first reaction, to give me what I want?”

  Blake stepped close, Aaron looking at him with serious eyes. “Because I love you, and I want to make you happy. There’s little I wouldn’t do for you, you know that.”

  Aaron closed the distance between them, circled his arms around Blake’s neck and put his head on Blake’s shoulder. Blake breathed his scent in, pulled him close against his body, his hands possessively on Aaron’s ass. His cock was already hard, but that was often the case when Aaron touched him. He was addictive as shit, and Blake never seemed to be able to get enough of him.

  “I’m so happy when I’m with you,” Aaron sighed.

  Blake smiled. “You make me happy too, my little puppy.”

  Aaron’s tongue licked Blake’s chest. He decreased his hold on Aaron, giving him room to do as he pleased. He rubbed his cheek against Blake, before trailing a wet path to Blake’s left nipple.

  Blake had gotten better and better at reading Aaron’s signals. There were times when all Aaron wanted to do was explore Blake’s body, and bring Blake pleasure. The kid could give amazing blow jobs, would suck his balls, and rim Blake until he saw fucking stars.

  Other times Aaron had this desperate need to be filled, taken. He would care about nothing else but to have his own needs met. Blake could fuck the living daylights out of him then, and he’d come and come and come until he was too spent to even lift a finger. Blake had the feeling this happened when Aaron was upset, or emotionally out of whack about something, but he hadn’t discussed it with Aaron yet.

  Aaron was licking his way down. After lavishing both Blake’s nipples with wet, hot attention, he was moving south.

  “You taste so good when you’re sweaty,” Aaron said happily. “Well, you taste good, period, but I cannot get enough of you like this.”

  He dragged Blake’s underwear down without asking, buried his nose in Blake’s pubes, then nuzzled his balls. His puppy had come a long way from his first tentative touches.

  Blake let out an appreciative sigh, while Aaron lapped the precum from his cock.

  “Come on,” Aaron said, standing up straight.

  “Wait, what?”

  Aaron grinned. “I want you inside me. In the shower. Easier to clean up after.”

  He didn’t wait for Blake, sauntered into the locker room, confident Blake would follow. Of course, Blake would follow—he’d trail Aaron everywhere if he had to. Blake left his gi on the floor, stepped out of the underwear still pooling at his feet and made his way into the locker room as well.

  Aaron stood buck naked against the shower wall, hands leaning against the wall, ass pushed all the way back.

  “Hurry up, would you?” he asked.

  Blake fumbled with the wallet in his jeans, managed to get the packet of lube he wanted. Seconds later, his cock was coated.

  He took position behind Aaron, put his hands on the boy’s hips. “You want my cock, puppy?”

  He teased him with the tip, pressing against his hole without entering.

  “I swear, Blake, if you’re not inside me in ten seconds…”

  He sure loved it when Aaron was like this. Sexy, wanton, impatient to be fucked. And shit, that ass was made to take cock. Aaron loved it when Blake breached him without prep.

  He bent over Aaron, brought his mouth to Aaron’s ear. He licked the sensitive spot behind his ear, then gently bit his lobe. “Or you’ll do what?”

  “Shit, Blake, fuck me already, would you?”

  When Aaron started swearing, he’d reached his fucking limit. Blake took mercy on him, pulled his hips back and surged inside him in one powerful thrust.

  “Ooohhh, fuuuuuck,” Aaron moaned.

  Blake straightened himself, dug his
fingers into Aaron’s hips, slid in again. He loved it when he had control like this, could angle his thrusts exactly so he’d hit Aaron’s sweet spot.

  Slick, sopping noises filled the shower as Blake built a steady rhythm. Aaron didn’t come as quickly as he had in the beginning, when all he needed was Blake’s cock inside of him, but he still didn’t last very long. Blake could tell he was already close, by the tension in his body and his clenched fists against the wall.

  “Come for me, puppy,” he grunted, slammed in hard. Aaron could take everything you threw at him, and Blake fucking loved it. No need to be careful here, no holding back. Blake fucked hard, and Aaron took it all with pleasure.

  “Blaaaaaake!” Aaron whined. His body jerked and his cock exploded against the shower tiles.

  “Good boy,” Blake praised him. He didn’t stop, didn’t need to. Aaron loved it when he fucked him through his orgasm. Sometimes he’d come again in under a minute. The kid sure had a faster recovery time than anyone Blake had ever fucked.

  “Bend over, Aaron. You know you want my fat cock in your hole. Push that sexy ass back. Yeah, like that…” Blake groaned.

  He’d discovered that proper, prim Aaron loved it when he talked dirty. The kid still didn’t curse outside of the bedroom, had trouble even saying “fuck” or anything similar, but he totally got off on Blake getting all dirty with him.

  He fucked him hard, deep, loving every second of it. “You’re so hot and tight around my cock, Aaron. Is my cock filling you completely? You like that burning in your ass when I breach you? No prep for you, ‘cause your hole is so fucking eager for me…You were born to be fucked, puppy, born to be mine. I will never, ever get enough of your sweet ass.”

  Aaron whimpered, moved back against Blake’s thrusts. His eager Aaron, so desperate for more. Blake’s skin prickled, his balls pulling tight against his body. He buried himself balls deep In Aaron one last time, then surrendered to the orgasm blasting through him. His cock jerked inside Aaron as he came, depositing his seed right where it belonged. Aaron followed him swiftly, convulsing in his arms.