Rain Music

by Di Morrissey

  As she came up the steps towards the house, she heard Jack’s raised voice. ‘Chrissake, Ned! You should’ve damn well told me. What happened? Were they armed?’

  ‘Who was armed? What’re you talking about?’ demanded Bella, approaching the bar.

  ‘No, Jack, they weren’t, and Bella, it’s okay,’ said Ned.

  Jack’s weathered face had reddened. ‘Your brother had two intruders here, lady. That’s not okay.’

  ‘What! When? Did you call the police, Ned?’ Bella asked in alarm.

  ‘They weren’t intruders. They said they knew Carlo,’ said Ned. ‘They were just a bit on the rough side. And by the time I could’ve contacted the police, they would’ve been ages away, so I didn’t think there was much point.’

  ‘What did they want?’ Bella felt shaky. This place was starting to feel unsafe.

  ‘They only wanted supplies. They’re just hunters or something. Only took food, water and some of the alcohol that Carlo had, as well as your bourbon, Jack.’

  ‘Pisses me off they took that.’ Jack rummaged behind the bar as Bella stared at Ned.

  ‘I thought you kept the gate locked?’ said Bella.

  ‘I do keep it locked, but they came up from the river.’

  ‘Great! It sounds as though you run an open house here, Ned. Does Toni know you had intruders?’ she added.

  ‘No, of course not.’

  ‘You didn’t want to scare her off coming out here, did you, but it doesn’t matter about me.’ Bella’s voice rose.

  ‘Could I have stopped you from coming even if I’d told you?’ asked Ned reasonably. ‘Look, they are miles away now and they’re not coming back. There’s nothing to worry about.’

  Bella didn’t look convinced, but she shrugged.

  Jack held up a bottle of Scotch. ‘This will do.’ There was a rumble and the distant flash of lightning. ‘We’re missing the show.’ He headed back towards the river carrying the bottle.

  Bella watched him leave. ‘Is Jack okay? I mean, he seems a bit of a wild man. Is he crazy? Do you think that living on his own out here has affected him?’ she asked in a whisper.

  Ned smiled. ‘I don’t think so, but he has obviously never gotten over the futility of the wars he was involved in. He’s very anti-war now.’

  ‘Well, he still seems to be fighting something. He’s feisty.’

  ‘Look, he might seem prickly, but I like him. I don’t see all that much of him, but when I do, I enjoy his company.’ He put his hand on her shoulder. ‘Come on, Bella, give him a chance.’

  Bella nodded. ‘I’ll bring down some more nibbles.’ She went into the kitchen area to rummage in the pantry, thinking what a strange rapport there was between her brother and the unquiet American. Maybe that’s what it was about the people up here, the loners and drifters, the failures and the fugitives; they couldn’t get on with people and preferred their own company. She hoped that Ned wasn’t slowly falling into the same category.

  As she came down the steps, Bella overheard Jack talking.

  ‘Man, give it to me straight, how aggro were they? There’s a difference between wandering in and asking for food and muscling in heavy-handed.’

  ‘They were a bit intimidating, I guess. I was mainly surprised that they came from the river. They’d even painted their kayak in camouflage colours.’

  Jack shook his head. ‘Shit. That doesn’t sound good.’

  Bella put the food on the table. ‘What doesn’t sound good?’ she asked.

  ‘Bella, don’t worry,’ started Ned. ‘They won’t be back. It was a one-off.’

  ‘What do you think, Jack?’ Bella sat at the table and began slicing a knob of salami.

  Jack sat down and helped himself to the bowl of olives Bella had brought. ‘Your brother is probably right. Still, this is too far out for your regular adventurer. This arm of the river is a backwater. Only a couple of reasons I can think of for them to be on it, and they’re not good.’

  ‘Like?’ asked Ned.

  ‘Drugs, murder, smuggling, gold. Or all of the above.’

  ‘Murder! Has anyone been murdered around here lately?’ asked Bella, alarmed. ‘Should we be here? Ned, I don’t think you should be out here alone.’

  Ned reached for a slice of salami and put it on a chunk of bread. ‘I’m not alone. I’ve got you, ready to fight everyone,’ he said playfully. ‘Anyway, they’ve been and gone, and I don’t think they’ll come back. As Jack says, this bit of the river doesn’t go anywhere.’

  ‘Can’t say I agree with you there, Ned. This place might be a backwater, but it could be a kind of rendezvous point,’ said Jack thoughtfully.

  ‘But I got the idea from Frederick that Carlo was a decent guy,’ said Ned.

  ‘And he is,’ said Jack. ‘Been a good friend to me for a long time. Still, this place is empty for a few months every year and I reckon these blokes could be up to no good and they came here looking for a few supplies to top up their stores.’

  ‘Is there a big drug scene up here?’ asked Bella. ‘That man in the pink house in Cooktown looked spaced out, like he was on something.’

  Ned glanced at Bella and seeing the look on her face he said, ‘Do you want to go back to town? I can drive you back tomorrow.’

  Bella hesitated, but only for moment. ‘No. If you’re staying, I can too. I’ll be fine and, like you said, it’s unlikely that they’ll come back.’

  ‘Exactly,’ Ned said. ‘For the record, I think they were just a bit rough and no real threat. Jack, you said something about gold. Carlo goes fossicking and so does Frederick, so is there still gold in these parts? Do you think these guys might have been looking for gold?’

  ‘Could be. But they might also have been looking in places they shouldn’t. There are designated fossicking areas, and there’s also private property, mainly grazing leases, and you need permission to go on those. If they didn’t have that, then what they were doing was illegal. But unless you found them in the act, you wouldn’t know what they were up to.’

  ‘This place sounds like the wild west,’ said Bella.

  Jack seemed to realise that the discussion was alarming Bella, so he said, ‘I wouldn’t panic just yet. It’s getting close to the start of the wet, so they’ll be long gone by now.’ He took a swig of Scotch. ‘Tell me more about your scheme to bring Chinese tourists to this part of the world.’

  Glad to leave the subject of the intruders behind, Bella said, ‘I came up north for a holiday and someone presented me with an idea to develop some specialty package tours.’

  Jack raised an eyebrow. ‘Interesting. Is that your thing? Package tours?’

  ‘I work in tourism back in Victoria.’

  ‘So vacationing is the reason you came up here, and yet here you are in the middle of nowhere, quarrelling with your brother. Funny way to spend a vacation.’

  ‘Well, Jack, not that it’s any of your business, but the reason I’m here in this way-out-of-the-way place is to persuade my brother to come back home to attend a ceremony commemorating our father. Ned’s presence would mean a great deal to our mother. And to me.’

  ‘I don’t think that our family goings-on are of any interest to Jack,’ said Ned coolly. Jack, however, seemed faintly amused and pressed on.

  ‘I’d like to hear all about it. Not having a family of my own any more, I like to be reminded, periodically, of what I’m missing.’

  Bella shrugged. She knew that Jack was baiting her, but maybe he would see her point of view and take her side. Quickly she explained the situation and why she thought it important that Ned be in Tennyson for the occasion.

  ‘It’s the first anniversary of our father’s passing. It will be an emotional day for all of us,’ she added.

  ‘You will be there, of course. You were close to your father?’

  ‘I certainly was. Fathers
and daughters always have a special bond.’ She glanced at Ned. ‘Ned and Dad got along well too, didn’t you, Ned?’

  ‘Well I didn’t get a gold bracelet or pearl earrings for my birthdays, but I guess we got along okay.’

  ‘Your father was a doctor you said? I suppose he put in long hours at the hospital?’ said Jack. ‘Some men consider it the right thing to do, to put their job before their family.’

  ‘Dad always had time for us,’ said Bella hotly. ‘His study door was never closed. He used to help me with my homework. You never asked him, did you, Ned? Dad said it was because you were stubborn and had to do things your way.’

  A pained expression flashed across Ned’s face, but he didn’t say anything, he just sipped his Scotch.

  ‘What’d he think of your music?’ asked Jack, turning to Ned. ‘I bet that didn’t sit too well with an important professional man like your father.’

  Ned grimaced. ‘Dad thought my music was just a pastime. He kept waiting for me to grow up and get a degree in something and have a proper career. To Dad, music wasn’t real.’

  ‘Ned, that’s unfair.’ Bella frowned at him. ‘You know Dad accepted your choice, eventually, and to be fair to Dad, your career path was hardly a conventional one. I think he just wanted you to have a steady income and a solid future. But he came good in the end. He was proud of you.’

  ‘Maybe,’ said Ned, in a tone of voice that suggested he wasn’t convinced.

  ‘And what about your mother, how do you get on with her?’ asked Jack.

  ‘Fantastic,’ said Ned.

  ‘She’s a really great mother,’ said Bella.

  ‘Then maybe you two should talk about this some more,’ said Jack.

  ‘Not right now,’ said Ned.

  ‘That’s what he always says,’ Bella shot back.

  ‘I’ll tell you both something for nothing,’ said Jack, topping up his drink. ‘I never played it safe and I got a lot of kicks, but I did what I believed was right. Cost me my family, though. Ned, go for your music, it’s important to you, but family is important too, so give up some of your time for your mother. And Bella, you have to stop trying to run other people’s lives. Let them make their own decisions. You might find that they make the right ones in the end.’

  Bella stared at the man opposite her. While he irritated her, she knew that what he said was true. She did always try to have things her way when she was sure that her way was the right way. But before she could reply, Ned spoke quietly.

  ‘This business with Dad and the dedication has nothing to do with my mother.’

  ‘Is that right?’ Jack gave a slight smile and swallowed the last of his drink before getting to his feet. He gave Bella a small salute. ‘Peace and love, sister. Show’s over, I’d best be on my way.’

  Ned hurriedly stood up. ‘I’ll see you out. Thanks for coming by, Jack.’

  As they headed up the steps, she heard Ned mutter, ‘Sorry about Bella, she can be a bit too forthright.’

  Bella couldn’t hear Jack’s reply, but she was perturbed by her brother’s friend. There was something about him she couldn’t put her finger on. At face value he was outspoken, almost aggressive, but his eyes held the haunted look of a man covering up his real feelings. She wondered if he’d ever had a softer side, a gentler voice, a caressing hand. Jack must have been handsome as a young man and probably knew it, too.

  Ned reappeared and sat down, looking thoughtful. ‘You were quite hard on Jack, you know.’

  ‘He can take it. C’mon! He’s a tough Yankee soldier, at least according to him.’

  Ned didn’t laugh. ‘And seriously, Bell, you didn’t have to raise our family issues in front of him.’

  Bella raised her eyebrows. ‘Jack asked me questions.’ Ned turned away, picking up his glass. ‘You just don’t want to talk about our family ever,’ said Bella.

  ‘We see things differently, that’s all.’ He kept walking away from her.

  Bella was angry. The wine swam in her head and she thought of her parents, her family, and the way things had been when she was young. Why was it all so difficult now? ‘What is it with you, Ned? Why won’t you come back for Dad’s dedication? Why have you been away from home for so long? It seems to me there must be some other reason you’re keeping from me, because all your excuses are pretty pathetic. Does Mum know how you feel? Is that why she doesn’t push you to come home?’ she demanded.

  Ned turned. ‘No. Not at all,’ said Ned firmly. ‘I wouldn’t want to upset Mum.’

  ‘That’s nonsense,’ said Bella. ‘This ceremony is as much for Mum’s sake as it is for Dad’s. I think Mum feels that it is, in a way, a reflection on the support she gave Dad and his work over all the years of their marriage. You should be there at least to acknowledge that. You know they had a wonderful life together. Mum has been through so much in the last year, and you’ve just left it up to me to take care of her. It’s as though you don’t care about us at all.’

  Ned’s face remained impassive but Bella could see his hands were balled into fists. ‘Bella, I care about Mum much more than you think. And you.’

  ‘Then all I can say is that you have a very funny way of showing it. You need to stop avoiding our family. Do you think she can’t handle talking about Dad’s death, or something? Well, she’s fine about it now. Sad, of course, but I think she’s coping well. Not that you would know. You hardly ever speak to her.’

  ‘Bella, just shut up, will you? I don’t need you to go over and over this. I won’t go back to Tennyson and that is all I have to say on the matter,’ said Ned angrily.

  Bella took a step towards him. ‘Ned, once upon a time we used to have no secrets from each other. But now it’s like you’re a different person.’

  Ned folded his arms. ‘Bella, drop it. Just leave it. It’s my business.’

  ‘How can you say that? This is my business, too. It’s our family, and I want us all together for this occasion. I want your support, for once.’

  ‘Well, you won’t get your wish, I’m afraid. You don’t know everything about our family at all. You think you do, but you don’t.’

  Bella stared at Ned. ‘Ned, we shouldn’t have secrets. I can’t believe you’re keeping something from me. Why would you do that? What is it you’re not telling me?’

  Ned was silent a moment. He shook his head. ‘There are some things better left alone. Despite what you might think, you’re my sister and I care about you.’

  ‘And I care about you! Why do you think I’m here?’

  Ned paused and gave a small smile. ‘You’re here to get me to go to Dad’s dedication, but you have to understand that I need to make my own decisions. You can’t make them for me.’

  Bella didn’t answer. She was rather taken aback by the new thought that Ned knew something about their family that she didn’t. Whatever it was, it was gnawing at Ned and driving a wedge between them and yet he seemed determined to keep it to himself.

  ‘I’m sorry, Ned. I have no idea why you feel the way you do, but I wish you would tell me. The least we can do is be up-front and honest with each other, and I’m sorry you feel you can’t.’

  There was a moment of quiet and then Ned said, ‘Bella, I think we should call it a night and go back into the house. The storm’s over.’

  She sighed in defeat. ‘All right.’ She picked up the plates and her glass and they walked to the house in silence. ‘I might take some of Sister Evangelista’s letters to bed with me and read a few more of them.’

  ‘Sounds good. You up for a swim in the morning? I’ll wake you when I go down, if you like.’ It sounded like an olive branch. Bella smiled at her brother.

  But lying in bed with the nun’s letters provided little respite from Bella’s thoughts. She had been so sure that once she confronted Ned, he would acquiesce and return to Tennyson, but she now realised that he had never ha
d any intention of doing that. She thought back to her childhood. She’d adored her family. She’d always thought they were the perfect foursome, but Ned clearly didn’t feel the same way and she couldn’t understand it. And what did he mean when he said she didn’t know everything about their family? Suddenly she sat up in bed. Had her mother done something to upset him? That seemed unlikely. Maybe Ned still resented his father’s opposition to his choice of career, and that resentment had never properly healed. Still, she thought, it was a long time to carry a grudge, and their father really had seemed to accept Ned’s choice in the end. Heavens, he’d even attended some of Ned’s performances.

  She turned out the light and tried to sleep, but just as her mind began to drift, she had a flash of Brendan’s face. She pushed the image out of her mind and thought instead of Antony’s smile and confident eyes. What should she do about Antony’s plan? She felt that time was running out for her. Her holiday was nearly over and she was still not ready to make any sort of decision. Being so far from home and her usual routine, she now found herself in the unfamiliar position of vacillating. This stunning, story-soaked part of Australia had spun her head around and filled her with enthusiasm for the place. Could she really do something utterly different in this part of the country? She felt that her life with Brendan had been stagnating. Did she really want to return to Tennyson and continue with her safe, predictable career, or was now the time to look for other challenges and put a bit of excitement into her existence? Maybe this was the right time to move on.

  Bella tossed and turned for most of the night, consumed with thoughts of Ned and her family, of Antony and his ideas and of Brendan and their fight. She finally fell asleep in the wee small hours and when she eventually woke, sunlight was streaming in the window.

  Bella could hear Ned playing the keyboard. She went downstairs and made herself a pot of tea and decided to be wicked and to treat herself to an overripe banana cooked in butter and squashed onto her toast.

  ‘What smells so good?’ Ned appeared in the kitchen and smiled at her.