Rain Music

by Di Morrissey

  ‘Morning, Ned. Have you had a swim already?’

  ‘I have. I went in to check on you, but you were still fast asleep, so I left you. Plenty of time for a swim later. Mmm, that looks good. I haven’t had a fried banana in years. I think I’ll have one, too. You want brown sugar with yours?’

  ‘I don’t think I need sugar.’ She watched him make himself a coffee. He seemed relaxed and friendly. ‘Any plans for today?’

  ‘Not really. Let’s see how the day unfolds. Are you bored?’

  ‘Not at all,’ she retorted, even though she would have liked to go somewhere. ‘Maybe I’ll take the canoe you mentioned out of the shed and go for a paddle.’

  ‘Great idea. I won’t come with you, because I can feel the creative juices flowing, but you can’t get into any trouble on the river if you don’t go too far.’

  ‘I don’t want to interrupt your work, so I’m happy to go out by myself.’

  Ned helped her put one of Carlo’s old fibreglass canoes into the water. Bella took a bottle of water and a hat and hung her small camera around her neck, and after a somewhat shaky start, she quickly found her rhythm and began firmly stroking her way along the river.

  ‘See you later,’ Ned called out after her.

  Bella was entranced. As she glided along the quietly flowing waterway, the river birds seemed totally disinterested by her presence and ignored her. The silence in the surrounding bush was so all-encompassing that she felt she should be able to hear the leaves curling in the growing heat. The isolation made her feel like an explorer travelling into an unknown land.

  She paddled on for some time, pausing occasionally to take a photo, until she came to a bend in the river and saw that the surface of the water was running faster than it had been. Not confident that she could control the canoe in these conditions, she did a U-turn and headed back the way she’d come.

  Suddenly a loud crack rang out, causing Bella to look upwards. Several birds rose from the treetops in fright. She stopped paddling for a moment as she listened for any follow-up noise. She had the feeling that what she’d heard was a gunshot, although she hoped it had only been a branch breaking. All remained quiet, so she resumed paddling, thrusting the blade deep into the water and forcing the canoe to gather speed.

  She was perspiring heavily and felt very hot when she saw the little low-lying island which lay opposite Carlo’s place. With a sigh of relief she slowed the canoe, gliding it against the current of the river and around the island, then towards the bank beneath the house. Voices drifted down to her and as she drew nearer she saw Frederick standing on the terrace.

  ‘Hi, Bella! Need a hand? Enjoy the river? Best way to see it.’ He walked down to the water’s edge and reached over to steady the canoe as she clambered out.

  ‘Hello, Frederick. Yes, it was wonderful. Did you bring some supplies for Ned? Is Theresa with you?’

  ‘Nope. Just brought a visitor. Let me give you a hand.’ He pulled the canoe right up to the bank and helped Bella out.

  ‘Thanks, Frederick,’ she said.

  Bella hurried up the steps. She could hear voices in the kitchen, but before she could head to her room and change, Ned called out.

  ‘Bell . . . come in here a minute.’

  ‘I was just going to change –’ She stepped inside and stopped in shock. Standing next to Ned was Brendan.

  ‘Oh. My. God! Brendan! What are you doing here?’ she shrieked.

  ‘Surprised you, huh?’ said Brendan, looking pleased to see her but a bit hesitant.

  Bella’s head whirled. ‘What are you doing here? Is Mum okay . . . ?’

  ‘Yes, she’s fine,’ he said reassuringly. ‘I just wanted to see you, that’s all.’

  ‘How on earth did you find me?’ Bella shook her head, still not believing that the steady-as-she-goes Brendan had dropped everything to find her in this remote and wild setting. ‘I can’t believe you’re here.’

  Brendan took a step towards her and Bella suddenly became aware of her damp, sweaty clothing and messy hair. She drew back from him. ‘Um, I just need to get changed.’

  ‘It’s lunchtime anyway,’ said Ned. ‘Frederick, are you going to join us? Brendan is a bit taken with the pizza oven and barbecue,’ said Ned.

  ‘That sounds great, thanks Ned,’ said Frederick.

  ‘Okay, guys, I’ll be back down shortly.’ Bella needed to escape. Seeing Brendan calmly chatting away to Ned as if he’d only seen him yesterday was unnerving. She had a quick shower and tried to make a bit of an effort with her tangled hair. She felt a tingle just thinking about the effort Brendan had made. It was so unlike him to be spontaneous like this. However, she also felt her independent streak surfacing. I specifically asked him for some space. If he thinks he’s just going to drag me back . . .

  ‘Bella . . . c’mon, we need help with lunch,’ called Ned.

  She could feel her emotions whirling as she came downstairs, but when she saw Brendan sitting with a beer in his hand, chatting sociably with Ned and Frederick, she held herself in check. She would have to speak to him alone later. She took a seat across from him and poured herself a drink from a pitcher of water.

  Brendan smiled shyly at her, then looked up at Ned. ‘Can I help with lunch?’

  ‘I’ve got some chops for the barbecue and we can make a big tossed salad and have it with some olive bread warmed in the pizza oven,’ said Ned.

  ‘Sounds great,’ said Frederick. ‘So how long are you around, Brendan?’

  ‘Not long, I’m afraid.’ He looked questioningly at Bella. ‘That is, if I’m invited to stay.’

  ‘Of course you are, mate,’ said Ned. ‘Plenty of room.’

  ‘What about your practice, Brendan?’ asked Bella. She felt a flash of annoyance with her brother for inviting Brendan to stay without checking with her. Ned knew that they’d broken up. This time away was meant to be her holiday away from Brendan to figure things out.

  ‘I managed to get a locum in for a couple of days, a mate of mine, and I’ve rearranged some appointments.’

  ‘I see. Well, how did you manage to find me?’ asked Bella curiously.

  ‘Actually it was quite easy. You’d told me about the pink house in Cooktown, but when I turned up there, they knew nothing about you. But when I asked if they knew Ned, they told me he put on a concert in the town a few days ago. They suggested that I go to the “Toppie” and ask Yolanda. So I explained to her who I was and she told me to go to the Golden Mile Roadhouse and ask there. I did, and Frederick kindly offered to drive me out. Glad he did – I would never have found this place on my own. I don’t even have a four-wheel drive, so my car’s back at the roadhouse.’ Brendan looked towards the seemingly never-ending expanse of bush. ‘This is so isolated, Ned. It seems to be in the middle of nowhere. Have you any neighbours at all?’

  ‘Yes, Jack – he’s a Yank and quite a character. I like him,’ said Ned. ‘But he ruffled Bella’s feathers.’

  Frederick chuckled. ‘Jack calls it as he sees it, that’s for sure. He might have rusty manners around ladies, but he’s a man with quite a story.’ Frederick settled back as the others looked at him with interest. ‘Jack told me that he was in Vietnam with the US Special Forces in secret wars in the jungles, even before the American build-up really began in earnest. Dangerous work. From what he said, he seemed to be everywhere, fighting in the Tet Offensive, and he was in one of the last choppers that got out before the fall of Saigon. After that, he started to help other Vietnam vets who were having a tough time when they got back home. He called them the haunted souls with the thousand-yard stare who turned up on his doorstep. Said they’d all seen too much. I remember one horrific story that had been told to him by a marine who’d seen Viet Cong thrown out of a chopper because they wouldn’t reveal information. After four Viet Cong had been pushed to their deaths, the fifth one told them what they wanted to kn
ow. No wonder that marine found it hard to live with what he’d seen. These were the sort of people Jack tried to help. But his marriage broke up under the strain. Too much baggage.’

  ‘Is that why he’s here?’ asked Bella, beginning to understand the reasons for Jack’s cynical behaviour.

  ‘Took him a while to sort himself out. He once told me how he’d dug a hole and buried his past. Burned his uniforms, medals, maps, books, memorabilia, plaques and awards. The lot.’

  ‘How sad,’ murmured Ned. ‘I wonder if that helped.’

  ‘Maybe. Anyway, he’s the ultimate warrior with years of guerrilla warfare training, right here on our doorstep,’ continued Frederick cheerfully.

  ‘Does he have a rifle?’ asked Bella, thinking about the shot she’d heard earlier that day.

  ‘You bet he does,’ said Frederick. ‘But I know he doesn’t use it much. Hates that sort of thing now. Says the only shots that should be taken of the wildlife are with a camera, not a gun.’

  ‘It’s just that I thought I heard a gunshot when I was out in the canoe this morning,’ said Bella.

  ‘He’s not crazy enough to take a pot shot at someone in a canoe, is he?’ asked Brendan, looking concerned.

  ‘Not bloody likely,’ said Frederick emphatically. ‘Jack has some funny ideas, but his heart’s in the right place.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ asked Bella. ‘I might have upset him yesterday with some of the things I said.’

  Frederick laughed. ‘I think you have the wrong idea about Jack, Bella. He really is one of the good guys. Wouldn’t hurt anyone, unless he was defending himself. Take my word for it.’

  Ned stood up. ‘I’m sure you’re right. I think Jack is quite able to defend himself without having to resort to violence. He’s a pacifist now. How about I throw the steaks on the fire?’

  ‘Do you want to help me with the salad?’ Bella asked Brendan. Just sitting around making small talk with him was making her nervous. They needed to talk in private.

  ‘I’ll watch you cook, Ned,’ said Frederick as he reached for a fresh can of beer.

  *

  Bella pulled the salad ingredients from the fridge and put them on the bench as Brendan came in to join her. He stood uncomfortably, hands in his pockets. There was a brief awkward pause as neither of them knew quite what to say.

  ‘I’ve missed you, Bella,’ Brendan said quietly. ‘And after that fight . . . I just had to come and find out where we stand. I don’t want you running off with someone else.’ His face was stormy.

  ‘It’s not what you’re thinking. If you’re insinuating there’s some affair –’ began Bella.

  ‘I’m not insinuating anything. The last time we spoke, you told me to bugger off and leave you alone and then you dropped off the planet and I couldn’t reach you. You never answered my calls.’

  ‘I couldn’t ring you,’ said Bella defensively. ‘There’s no phone coverage out here. Besides, if I had rung, we would have got into the same old discussion all over again.’ Bella jammed a knife into a tomato and began slicing.

  Brendan took a deep breath. ‘Bella, I freaked out when you dropped that bombshell about wanting to move up here. I overreacted by suggesting that you might not be up to it. I am very sorry I said that. I don’t think there is anything that you can’t do. You’re probably still mad about what I said, but I hope we can put that aside and talk about us.’ He paused and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. ‘I love you very much. I really want us to move in together. But Bella, I want to know if you are prepared to make such a commitment, or if you just see me as someone to fill in time with until a better offer comes along.’

  Bella stopped slicing and stared at him. Brendan had never been this open with her before. ‘Brendan, you have to believe me that there is no one else. I’m not dodging your question when I say that this business opportunity is real. This isn’t just about our relationship. I’ve been feeling restless in my job for a long time. I have to look at the pros and cons of where I’m at or I’ll never be able to make a decision.’

  ‘So you haven’t made a final decision?’ he asked, looking hopeful.

  ‘Well, Ant is definitely one of those people who gets you all keen about something because he’s so enthusiastic. He’s a real salesman, but I need to do more research and more thinking before I commit.’ Bella picked up the chopping board and slid the tomatoes into a bowl with the onions and lettuce.

  ‘What does this Antony actually do for a living?’ asked Brendan.

  ‘He works as a guest liaison for an eco-resort in the Daintree. He’s quite charismatic, so the guests must really like him.’

  ‘That doesn’t sound like the sort of job that would enable him to start his own business, or was he expecting you to be the money person?’ asked Brendan with concern. ‘He’s not trying to fleece you, is he?’

  ‘Good grief, no! He assures me that he has already got financial backing to start it, but that’s another thing I’ll have to check. Not that we’ve really talked practicalities,’ said Bella thoughtfully. ‘More just concepts.’

  ‘Hmmm.’

  Bella reached for the salad dressing. ‘Do you want to meet him?’

  ‘If you like, but I don’t have to. I trust your judgement,’ said Brendan diplomatically. He hesitated. ‘You’ll always be special to me. That’s why I wanted to come and find you, to tell you, but the final decision about what you want – me or this business venture – rests with you. It always has, but I hope that you choose me. But have you thought that maybe if you really want to start something new, you could think of doing it in Tennyson?’

  Before Bella could answer, Ned called out that the steaks were ready. Brendan looked at her beseechingly, but Bella decided to take the opportunity to end the conversation.

  ‘We’ll talk more later, okay?’ Bella said. She picked up the salad bowl and servers and headed to the table.

  It was a long and jovial meal, as the four of them got along well. Bella’s mind was reeling with a confusion of thoughts and feelings, so she was happy to sit back and listen to Frederick’s stories of the characters he’d met while running the roadhouse.

  ‘The good, the bad and the ugly. You see it all up here,’ he said with a hearty laugh.

  After Frederick had left to drive back to the roadhouse, Bella took Ned aside for a minute.

  ‘Look, Ned, I’m really flattered that Brendan decided to chase me all this way, but it’s left me feeling a bit confused. I think I need to get my head around things. Would it be all right if you took him out for a while, just so I can think about him calmly? Maybe drive him up to the old gold dam, just for an hour or so?’

  ‘I could, but I don’t really want to leave you here by yourself.’

  ‘For heaven’s sake, I’ll be fine. I’m not sending you away overnight. Anyway, it’ll be dark in less than three hours, so you’ll have to be back home by then. What on earth could happen to me? Just do me this favour. I need to think without Brendan hovering over me. Everything is becoming so complicated.’

  ‘All right, if you’re sure. But we’ll only go for a short time.’

  Bella could see that Brendan was a bit surprised by Ned’s suggestion to visit the dam, but he agreed that it was worth a closer look and the two left as soon as they had all cleaned up the lunch things.

  *

  When they had gone, Bella decided to make herself a cup of tea. Filling the kettle, she tried to gather her thoughts but all she could feel was anxiety. This surprise visit by Brendan, the spontaneity of it, was so out of character for him that it was making it all the harder to know what to think.

  As she waited for the kettle to boil, she realised that he almost seemed to be a different person from the man she’d left behind in Tennyson. Certainly she had never expected him to be so impetuous as to follow her here. His quixotic actions were in sharp con
trast to the Brendan she thought she knew. Maybe he wasn’t as conservative and unadventurous as she’d assumed. And for the first time he’d actually said what he wanted and been open with her. Nevertheless, did she really want to return to her safe and secure life in Tennyson? Antony had made her realise that there were other possibilities. Maybe she did want to take risks and face career challenges, and if she didn’t take the plunge now, would the chance ever come again? Far North Queensland seemed to present her with a lot of opportunities. Should she just go for it, be like her brother and take a gamble with her life instead of always playing it safe? What would her father say if he were here?

  Bella was so preoccupied with these thoughts that she didn’t realise that the kettle had finished boiling. As she reached for the tea caddy, a noise made her turn and she cried out, dropping the caddy, its contents spilling across the floor.

  Standing in the kitchen was a strange man, seemingly as surprised to see her as she was to see him.

  ‘What the hell . . . ?’

  The man made a sudden move across the kitchen and tried to grab her, causing her to slip on the loose tea leaves and fall to the ground. She let out another cry as she was roughly wrenched to her feet.

  ‘Who are you? What’s going on?’ shouted Bella, trying to twist from his grasp.

  ‘Shit. Who’s this? I thought you said the place was empty.’

  A second man, wearing a faded blue shirt, came forward and Bella recoiled at the sight of his rough and dishevelled appearance and the rifle that was slung over his shoulder.

  ‘Yeah, well, when I saw the four-wheel drive leave with those blokes on board, how was I to know that they’d left this bird behind?’

  ‘What do you want? Why are you here?’ Bella asked shakily, hoping wildly that Ned and Brendan would return and save her from these louts.

  ‘Just passing through,’ said the first man, not loosening his grip on her.

  Bella twisted again and swung her other arm at his face.

  He ducked and grabbed her roughly and firmly, swearing as he did so. ‘Bitch. Don’t make trouble or I’ll lock you in the shed.’