Silent Forgiveness (Sign of Love Series Book 4)

by Tonya Clark

  Cameron takes the card from my hand, flipping it over to where I wrote my number. “Thank you. I’ll be calling you soon. I don’t want Jacob to fall too far behind.”

  “Your brother is a very smart kid, but he has struggled with math. I’m sure we can get him caught up pretty quickly.”

  “Thank you.” Cameron turns to Mr. Lennerd, “Thank you for your time and help. I’ll stay in touch on when Jacob will be coming back to school.” The two men shake hands.

  “Miss. Edwards, you will be hearing from me soon.” I see the smile before he turns from me to leave the office.

  “It was nice to meet you, Mr. Tovaren,” I say, as he reaches for the handle.

  He stops for a moment. I think he will say something in return, but instead he leaves the office without saying another word.

  Looking over at Mr. Lennerd, I find my cheeks heating up again with the knowing smile he gives me. “What?”

  “There won’t be any problems with this setup, will there?”

  If only he knew how many times I had asked myself that very question in the last few minutes. “Of course not, why would you think there would be?”

  Mr. Lennerd just gives me that knowing smile again. Damn, was I that obvious earlier? “It will be fine, Mr. Lennerd. I’ll be very professional. Jacob is the most important person involved here. I don’t want him falling behind. There will be no issues, I promise.”

  Mr. Lennerd sits there studying me. Yes, Cameron is a very handsome guy. True, no one has made me want to grab onto them and not let go until we are both naked and exhausted like I felt when he spoke my name. Besides wanting those lips all over my body, I have no other problems. It will all be fine. I give Mr. Lennerd what I hope is a very reassuring smile.

  “How is Charliee doing?”

  I almost slump back in the chair with relief when he changes the subject.

  “She is doing a lot better. They are hoping she can go home in a couple of days.”

  “That’s good, we miss her here. Please let her know we are happy to hear she is healing and can’t wait for her to be back in the classroom.”

  “I’ll let her know. See you tomorrow.” I grab my bag and head out of the office.

  I am very ready to be home and relaxing in my spa. What a day!

  Chapter 3

  Cameron

  Shutting the door to my dad’s truck, a whiff of his smell catches me off guard. I close my eyes, expecting to open them and see him sitting next to me. No one is there, just me, alone, sitting in the parking lot of my brother’s school. I need to figure out a way to get my truck up here from Texas and soon.

  Turning the key in the ignition, I know I just want to be home. Of course, that has nothing but memories either. Before backing out, I catch a glimpse of Ms. Edwards, or should I say Jayden walking through the parking lot.

  Instantly my stomach muscles flex again, like they remember her touch. Jayden has fire in her, I could see it in her eyes when she gave me her challenging look earlier. I saw the heat as well. When her hand connected with my stomach and those green eyes shot up to mine; desire filled me, and it took everything I had to not grab her hand and pull her up against me. My body wanted to fill more than just her hand. I wanted her body up against mine. Better yet, I would have been good with clearing off that desk and laying her body under my own.

  I watch her as she walks across the lot, her eyes down looking at her phone the whole way. She gets to what I figure is her car, gets in and pulls out. Watching her car until it disappears on the street, my stomach jumps again. What the hell is wrong with me? I need to shake this want for Jayden. I don’t have time for anything other than running the family business and handling all the legal matters, and my brother.

  Jacob and I are eleven years apart. I remember when Mom and Dad told me they were having a baby. Mom was so excited. They had been trying for years. I remember asking why they wanted another kid. Dad smiled and told me, “Don’t worry, Cameron, your mom and I have so much love, there is plenty of room for both of you.”

  Mom just glowed the whole time she was pregnant, even though she had been sick the whole time. I swear she smiled even when she was throwing up every day. Then Jacob was born. They told us he was deaf. As expected, with all the attention a new baby receives and more because of the added disability, I went through a few years of rebelling.

  I didn’t spend much time in the first five years with Jacob. Everything changed one night when our family was out to dinner. We had a table next to ours with a couple of older kids with their parents. The kids were making fun of Jacob because of his signing and the sounds he made. I tried to ignore it and could have ignored the ignorance of teenagers, but the father made a comment about my brother being a retard. I told my parents that I had to use the restroom. As I walked by the table, I hooked the father’s chair with my foot and pulled it out from under him, sending him and his plate to the floor. I didn’t even look back.

  The man glared at me as I walked back to our table a short time later. It took a lot to not stop and say something to him as well, but I decided to be satisfied with sending his ass to the ground. Sitting back down, I was expecting the third degree from my parents. Neither of them looked up from their plates, they just sat there eating, but I didn’t miss the smiles on their faces.

  From that night forward, I made a vow to myself that no one would hurt my little brother, physically or mentally, regardless of what he was aware of. We became attached at the hip after that night. When I decided to move down to Texas three years ago, Jacob tried to talk my parents into letting him move with me. We text almost every day when I’m not homing visiting.

  Since our parent’s death a couple weeks ago, he hasn’t said much to me at all. He eats dinner up in his room. He doesn’t go anywhere either. When his friends come over, he sends them away, telling me to tell them he isn’t home or busy.

  When he had told me, he wanted some time off from school, I understood. I didn’t see any harm in letting him take a little time away from school as long as he kept up with his work and grades. This might not have been the best idea. I’m starting to think I should have kept him in school.

  Living alone in Texas never bothered me. Coming home to a quiet house was relaxing. Coming home to the house I grew up in is a different thing. Standing here on the porch, I almost hate to open the front door. I still expect to hear Mom in the kitchen and see Dad in his office on the phone with a client. Jacob and his best friend Tyler on the couch playing video games. Now, all I hear is silence and it isn’t relaxing. Eventually, I’ll get used to this new silence, right?

  Shutting the door behind me, I am thrown back a little when I hear a sound coming out of the kitchen. I know it isn’t my mom, but damn the memories flood back. Surprisingly, I find Jacob looking through the fridge.

  I reach around him and grab a beer. I expect him to turn around and acknowledge me, but he doesn’t even look over his shoulder. He doesn’t talk to me unless I make him.

  When he does turn, he doesn’t say anything. He begins to walk past me, but I put my hand out and stop him. He turns to me and again I’m slammed in the chest by the reminder of my mom. I look like my dad where Jacob took on more of mom’s features. Blonde hair, and blue eyes. I was built more for football, Jacob for track.

  “I met with your math teacher today, Miss Edwards,” I sign to him.

  Still nothing, it is starting to piss me off. “She has agreed to come here to the house and tutor you.”

  “Okay,” he signs back, but that is all. He just stands there giving me the look, like I’m wasting his time.

  “Have you done anything today other than sit in your room? Maybe you should see if Tyler can hang out tonight. I’m going to throw some chicken on the barbeque for dinner. Why don’t you see if he wants to come over?”

  Again, nothing. He just stands against the counter, looking up only to see me sign, then he looks back down at the soda he is holding. I ha
ve to fight the urge to throw my hands up in the air and surrender.

  “All right, well I’ll throw on an extra piece just in case,” I sign.

  Nothing, Jacob just walks past me and leaves. I have no idea how to handle all of this. I’m supposed to be the older brother, not the parent. There is no manual on what to do with younger siblings after a parent’s death.

  My phone goes off in my pocket and as irritated as I am right now, all I want to do is take it out and throw it against the wall. Seeing it is Steve, relief floods through me.

  “Hey, Steve.” I answer trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.

  “Hey, how are things going up there?” I hear the concern in Steve’s voice.

  “It’s going. I’m trying to stay on top of all the projects Dad had going up here. I don’t think the man ever slept. How is the track going?” I dread asking but pray everything is going a little smoother.

  “It’s on schedule, and since we pulled the extra security for the nights, we have had all the windows staying in one piece.”

  Well, at least some good news from somewhere. “That’s good to hear. Are you able to handle everything all right alone?”

  I know that is probably a very stupid question. The man probably knows more than I do.

  “Cameron, don’t worry about anything on this side of things. Everything is under control and running on time. You, I’m sure have your hands full with things up there in Washington.”

  Looking around the living room, my chest tightens up. It had always felt good to come home. It was warm, loving, and welcoming. Now, it only feels quiet and cold. My hands being full is an understatement. Between Jacob, my father’s open jobs, piles of paperwork, and the household affairs; I am in overload. I wonder every day how my parents made this all look so easy.

  I know the business, I just never realized how much my dad had taken on up here. I think what is driving me over the edge is Jacob. Being the older brother is one thing; becoming the legal guardian of a teenager who just lost both parents, dealing with all of his school issues and trying to get him to talk to me is a totally different thing.

  “Cameron, are you still there?” Steve’s voice brings me out of my own head.

  “Yeah, sorry. I was thinking.”

  “Do you need me to come up there and handle the job sites for a couple weeks? I can at least take that load off you for a little bit.”

  “I appreciate it, Steve, but I need you down there more than up here. I have Kevin helping me out on the sites up here while I get the business side all taken care of. We can’t afford for something to go wrong down there with both of us being up here.”

  “All right, but know if you need me, I’m only a flight away.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  “Oh, real quick, before I let you go. That little redhead stopped by the job site office the other day looking for you.”

  “Candice?” How did she even know where the office was?

  “I’m assuming you didn’t tell her you left.”

  We had been on a couple dates, we weren’t serious. “I’ve been ignoring all of her calls to be honest. Things up here are a little more important than dealing with her right now. Sorry about that. If I would have thought she’d end up there bugging you, I would have talked to her.”

  “It’s no big deal. I wasn’t sure what you had told her, so I just said you weren’t in at the time.”

  “I’ll call her later today and let her know I’m not in town. Sorry about that.”

  “Don’t apologize, it’s no big deal.”

  “I should be able to come down for final inspection, so I’ll see you in a couple weeks.”

  “Sounds good. I would say try not to stress, but from the sound of your voice, I believe you have already passed that.”

  I didn’t respond, I just pressed end and tossed my phone onto the couch next to me, which then bounced onto the floor. Bending down to pick it up, I find a business card on the floor. Picking it up, I realize it is the one Ms. Edwards had given to me earlier, it must have fallen out of my pocket.

  That warm feeling spreads through my stomach again. Before I really realize what I am doing, I dial the number on the back of the card. Three rings and I think I will be talking to an answering machine, but I’m surprised when her voice says, “Hello.”

  “Hello, Ms. Edwards, this is Cameron Tovaren.”

  Silence stretches out for a moment but then her silky voice comes through the line. “Hello, Mr. Tovaren. I’m a little surprised to hear from you so soon.”

  My skin usually chills when someone calls me Mr. Tovaren, but I find myself smiling at Jayden using the name for me. I think back to this afternoon when she walked into the office, blonde hair hanging long down her back and the lightest green I’ve ever seen for eyes before. The way her hips and legs were snuggly fitted in her jeans, I find myself rubbing my hands back and forth against my legs wanting nothing more than to be running them over her body.

  “The longer I wait to get Jacob started with tutoring, the more behind he will be.”

  “Understandable, when were you thinking of getting started?”

  Tonight, in my bed is what I want to answer. “What days do you have available? I’ll work around your schedule.”

  “I can stop by tomorrow after school if that works for you. I can be there around four-thirty.”

  Jayden’s voice is very soothing, I can feel my body relaxing as we talk. I need to figure out how to keep her on the phone. “Four-thirty it is! Do you need me to get anything, supplies or anything?”

  I hear a small laugh. “No, we won’t need anything. He should have his book.”

  “Okay, well then I guess we will see you tomorrow.”

  “Wait! I do need one thing from you.”

  “What would that be, Ms. Edwards?”

  “Your address, Mr. Tovaren.” Her voice melts through the phone.

  I have never wanted to grab someone and pull them through a phone as badly as I want to at this moment. I have to fight the urge to clear my throat. She would take great pleasure in knowing the effect she is having on me. I have a feeling.

  “I’ll text it to you when we hang up.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “See you tomorrow, Ms. Edwards.”

  “Mr. Tovaren, I can play this name game as long as you can. I have a feeling it may bother you more than it bothers me.”

  I laugh, something I haven’t done in a couple weeks. She is forward, says what she wants. I like that!

  “See you tomorrow,” she adds.

  “Goodbye.”

  Jayden hangs up the phone first. I sit here staring at mine. I save her name with her number, smiling to myself as I type in Ms. Edwards (Jayden).

  Chapter 4

  Jayden

  I’d seen Cameron sitting in his truck in the school parking lot when I came out. I felt his eyes follow me as I walked to my car. It took everything I had in me not to look over at him as I walked past. He had started to back out just as I came out of the building. I would have paid good money to know what he was thinking. Funny thing was, usually when I knew a guy was checking me out, I would make sure he didn’t miss a move or sway of my hips. When I saw Cameron and knew that he was watching me, all I wanted to do was run for my car, and not in a sexy way. These weren’t feelings I was used to. Never has one touch from a guy made me think about him this much as I do Cameron. I don’t do the relationship thing. Sure, I go out, we have fun for a couple dates, but then I end things before they get serious. Charliee says it’s because of what my dad did to my mom.

  I remember thinking I was the luckiest girl in the world. All of my friends would talk about their parents getting divorced or they were already separated. Having to move between houses, or some would talk about how they never saw one or the other. I would just sit there and think to myself how lucky I was that my parents were still in love with each other. I never heard my parent
s fight. We always took family vacations together. We were the perfect family. Well, that’s what I thought any way.

  I remember one evening I found my mom crying in the kitchen. I was thirteen, but it still feels like it was yesterday. My father had decided to cheat on my mom with a lady he worked with, and he left both of us for that family. No warning, he never even said goodbye, he just packed his things and left, leaving my mom a note.

  I haven’t seen my father since that day. He has tried to reach out to me and my mom has tried to convince me that I should talk to him, but I have no desire to have him in my life. I watched what his actions did to my mom.

  Somehow, my mom was able to find love in her heart again for another man. She found Todd. He is a great guy, treats my mom like she is the only woman alive. She deserves someone like him. I’m so happy that she was able to find someone who appreciated her.

  I have kind of decided that it isn’t worth all the pain. That’s why I only date and that’s where it stays. I can’t get hurt if I don’t get too close. I go out, meet a guy, enjoy the evening, a little dancing, a few drinks and that is usually where it ends. A few I have taken it further into the night, or on a couple more dates, but that’s it.

  Cameron, I haven’t stopped thinking about. What the hell is wrong with me? Sure, he’s good looking. He has a body I won’t deny is built like a god, but he isn’t the first guy I’ve met with those features.

  I had just stepped out of the hospital from visiting Charliee when my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number and almost let it go straight to voicemail, but for some reason I answered it. The sound of his voice when he said hello and called me Ms. Edwards almost caused me to melt to the ground there in the hospital parking lot. I thought I was being all clever when I called him Mr. Tovaren back, but he didn’t respond. I found myself feeling disappointed, why I don’t know. He doesn’t seem like the type of guy who jokes around. He did, however, accept challenges, and so did I. If he wasn’t going to call me Jayden, then I wasn’t going to call him Cameron.