If You Could Only Feel (Buchanan Brothers Series Book 3)

by M. E. Clayton

  “No,” I agreed. “Capital Murder is not funny.”

  Her nose scrunched up. “I thought it was only Capital Murder if you were murdering someone for money.”

  Another thing we needed to talk about. Well, not murdering anyone for money, but about our money that she seemed to think was only my money. I looked at her, and knowing she was in a good, playful place, made me loathe having to bring up anything serious. But we needed to sit down and hash this shit out. After last night, I needed to know if I had won her trust and if she was going to keep her word about give me a chance to make this right. “We need to talk, baby.”

  And just like I feared, her teasing disposition vanished, and her face took on a serious look. “I know, Gabriel,” she said.

  I sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to me.

  Chapter 25

  Justice~

  I sat down next to Gabriel and I knew from the look on his face he thought this wasn’t going to be pleasant. And before Michael’s visit, it might not have been. Oh, I would have stuck by our agreement, but I would still have been filled with a lot of resentment.

  He turned to face me, and I did the same, making our knees touch. Gabriel took a deep breath and started. “Look, Just-”

  “Gabriel,” I said, interrupting whatever he was about to say. “Can you…can I say something, and you just listen?”

  He sighed. “Justice, I-”

  I leaned into him. “Please, Gabriel.” He searched my eyes, and finally after a few seconds, he just nodded, letting me talk. “I love you, Gabriel.” His face softened, but his eyes looked heartbroken. I knew he thought I was leaving him. “I’ve loved you since I was 16 years old and…” I squared my shoulders and made sure to look him in the eye. I could admit where I might have been wrong. “And I…I guess I was focusing so much on what was missing, I failed to remember what wasn’t.”

  Gabriel placed a hand on my knee. “Baby…”

  My eyes teared up a little, but I didn’t let that stop me. “No. Just, please let me finish, Gabriel,” I pleaded. He mashed his lips together, removed his hand and nodded again. “Michael asked me if I was in love with you and why.” I let out a soft laugh at how Michael’s question had thrown me for such a loop. I had wanted to break away from Gabriel because I didn’t think he loved me and I wanted someone who did; someone who knew me and wanted to show me off, regardless of where I grew up. And because we primarily spent all our time together in bed, the other little things had taken a backseat to the things we had done outside the bedroom. We might have only gone as far as the living room or kitchen, but we’ve cooked together, laughed together, watched sports together. We’ve decorated my apartment for the holidays together. We’ve done a lot of things besides just have sex. It took Michael’s simple question to remind me of that.”

  “Yeah, he told me he came over here to talk to you,” Gabriel confessed.

  “Yeah,” I gave a low chuckle. “That man is something else.”

  Gabriel gave me his first genuine smile since we sat down. “Yeah, he is,” he agreed. “But I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world.”

  My heart swelled at his words. Michael was Gabriel’s world, and it was clear by Michael’s visit that Gabriel was his. Most people would chalk it up to being a twin thing, but I think it was more. I think the Buchanans were just that tight-knit a group.

  Suddenly, I couldn’t help myself. I climbed over Gabriel until I was straddling him, and I loved how his hands automatically went to my hips to hold me in place. I placed my hands on his chest and I found myself mesmerized by the beauty of his face.

  God, I loved this man.

  “I’m sorry, Gabriel.”

  His green beauties rounded, and he reared his head back, his hands tightening on my hips. “What?”

  “I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I was so focused on what I wasn’t getting from you, I wasn’t giving you credit for the things you have given me.”

  Gabriel’s shoulders sagged. “Baby…”

  I ignored him. “I…I think I was confusing you not loving me the way I wanted you to with not loving me at all.”

  “Justice, I-”

  I interrupted again. “But, when Michael asked me why I loved you…what it was that made me fall in love with you, I realized…well, just because we didn’t go to dinner or the movies, that didn’t mean you weren’t doing other wonderful things with me, hence me falling in love with you.”

  “Justice, I never meant to take you for granted,” he said, me finally letting him speak. “And I have nothing against going to dinner or the movies, but…” His hands came up to cradle my face. “God, I love you,” he whispered, going totally off track of what he was going to say.

  I smiled. “Yeah?”

  He placed his hands back on my hips and squeezed. “I should have asked you if there was anything I could do better,” he said, stunning me. “I made the mistake of thinking that because being in bed with you was enough for me, that it was enough for you.”

  I pulled a face. “And I should have told you that I wanted more than just sex-a-thons with you.” I leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips. When I straightened, I repeated how sorry I was. “I’m really sorry, Gabriel.”

  “Baby, you don’t know how happy I am to hear that, but there’s more here than our love for each other,” he replied.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Justice, we’re married,” he stressed the word ‘married’ as if I had suddenly forgotten. Trust me, it was hard to ignore the weight on my finger.

  “I know,” I replied, not sure where he was going with this.

  He sighed. “We can’t be in this limbo of a life anymore. Now that I know how you feel and we’re going to move forward with everything, we can’t keep living apart.” Before I could comment, he added, “And that includes how you feel about our money.”

  I winced.

  I couldn’t help it.

  “Gabriel, I don’t need the kind of life that requires that kind of money,” I told him, honestly. “I have a job and it pays my bills and…and I can’t just become some wealthy, bored housewife.”

  Gabriel started laughing. “Jesus Christ, woman. I’m not sure what you imagine us to be, but can you picture Shane and Denise sitting around all day sipping cocktails and talking about the latest handbag line?”

  I recalled my brief encounter with the two women and how there was no hesitation in calling their husbands fools. They had also been dressed in casual wear and they didn’t seem hoity-toity. “No, I suppose not,” I agreed.

  He gave me the most tender smile. “Justice, I don’t want to come off as if your life is interchangeable or as if your life here isn’t important or significant. And…and I’ll do the hour commute each way without any issue if that’s the decision we come to, but I’d like you to think over a couple of things first.”

  I nodded. “Okay, what?”

  “Shane needs an assistant,” he said, verifying that his sister-in-law was indeed down to earth. “She’s been trying to get by without one for the past two years, but she finally caved and confessed to needing one. I asked her if she’d be willing to give you an interview if you were willing.”

  Wow.

  “There’s also my condo,” he continued. “It’s bigger and has more space for when I knock you up.”

  I gasped and slapped his chest. “Gabriel Buchanan!”

  He laughed at me. “What?”

  “That is not how a person describes a child created out of love,” I teased.

  His dimples popped. “So, is that a yes?”

  This was my entire future we were talking about, and while some people might cry nepotism, I wanted to be with Gabriel. It’s what I’ve wanted all along. “I’ll interview with Shane, but if she doesn’t pick me, I’ll still need to work, Gabriel.” I could see he was about to object, so I cut him off before he could even start. “I’ll let you pay all the bills and…and I’ll even let you put my name on your accounts.
But, Gabe, I need to work. I need that…independence. So, if Shane doesn’t hire me, I’ll try to find a job in the city, and I’ll quit and move in with you when I do.”

  I could tell it was killing him. But he gave me this. “Okay,” he breathed out. “I can…I can do that.”

  “There’s also one more thing,” I said, hoping I wasn’t already becoming an entitled wife 15 minutes into this thing. “I don’t want to leave Bea behind. I know she’s happy working and living here, but…Gabriel, she’s my only friend.”

  Gabriel tucked a stray lock of blue hair behind my ear as he looked at me. “Anything you want, Justice,” he replied. “Just say the word, baby.”

  My eyes spilled. “Really?”

  “She’ll have a job tomorrow if she wants it,” he confirmed, his hands at my face again, thumbing my tears away.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck, and I didn’t think I’d ever been as happy as I was right now. All my dreams were coming true. The biggest dream being that Gabriel Buchanan really did love me. “I love you, so much, Gabe.”

  I could feel his heart beating against mine. “God, I hope so,” he whispered. “Because my life has been tied to yours since we were 15 years old. It’ll be tied to yours forever.”

  Epilogue

  Justice~

  It’s been six months since I started working as Shane’s assistant and I don’t think I’ve ever known someone as special as Shane Buchanan. She had a way of making you fall in love with her and she was just so damn…warm.

  The last few months have also been a whirlwind of getting to know Mason, Aiden, Michael and Denise. At first, I couldn’t believe how welcoming they all were. They treated me as if I’d been socializing with them for years. It had been both sweet and humbling.

  They were even super nice to Bea. Aiden was initially on board to hire her for his department, but Shane had said she could use an extra body, and what Shane says goes.

  And I’d never been happier.

  I was reviewing Shane’s calendar when Denise peaked her head into my office. “Hey, Sis?”

  I looked over at her. “Hey, Dib-”

  “Don’t,” she chuckled.

  I laughed. “Whatcha need, Woman?”

  Denise jerked her head to the side. “Emergency meeting in Mason’s office,” she grimaced.

  Emergency?

  “Is everything okay?” I asked, worried.

  “Don’t know,” she said. “But I imagine if it was that bad, Gabriel and Aiden would have come running over here to get us by now.”

  She had a point. One thing I can say about the Buchanan men is that they were borderline psychotic when it came to their wives. Gabriel included.

  I locked out my computer, stood up and followed Denise to Mason’s office. As we approached his office door, Sophia came around the corner like a whirlwind.

  Denise opened the door to Mason’s office, and walking in, I saw that everyone else was already in his office. My first thought was that he was really going to go ahead with his threat to sell the entire company off and live the rest of his life in bed with Shane. The guys claim that it’s just an inside joke, but something told me that Mason eighty percent meant it.

  I automatically walked over to Gabriel, and the second I was close enough, his arm snaked out and he pulled me into his embrace. His arms were still my favorite place to be.

  Once we were all situated, Mason cleared his throat, and I just knew he was selling the business and we were never going to see him or Shane ever again. “Thank you, guys, for dropping everything for this meeting…”

  “We had a choice?” Michael asked, and I watched as he ducked a flying pen. Michael was always ducking random items.

  Shane and Aiden laughed, but the rest of us waited with bated breath at Mason’s announcement. Well, at least, I was.

  “Okay, okay, okay,” Mason said, a huge smile plastered across his face. “We just wanted to let you guys know that…” he looked down at his wife and winked at her.

  Shane grinned up at him, and then turning back to face us, she blurted out, “I’m pregnant!”

  Holy. Shit.

  Mason and Shane Buchanan were going to have the next coming of Jesus. I mean, what else would a child born to Mason and Shane Buchanan be?

  Everyone erupted in cheers, laughter and tears. Holy shit. The next generation of Buchanans was in the making. This kid was going to be the perfect mix of Shane’s sweet nature and Mason’s psychopathic tendencies.

  He/She was going to be perfect.

  When it was my turn to hug Shane, I whispered in her ear, “You’re going to be the most perfect mother in existence, Shane.”

  She smiled, her entire face glowing. “I hope so.”

  Before I could comment, Gabriel dragged into his arms. His smile was infectious. “We’re going to be the best aunt and uncle in the world,” he beamed.

  “And parents?” I asked. “Do you think we’re going to be good parents?”

  Gabriel smirked and his eye gleamed. “Let ditch this party and go do what it takes to find out?”

  And we did.

  The End.

  Playlist

  Gabriel & Justice

  Against All Odds – Phil Collins

  When You Think About Me – One Vo1ce

  The Hills – The Weeknd

  Addicted – Saving Abel

  Last Kiss Goodbye – Hinder

  Whattya Want From Me – Adam Lambert

  About the Author

  M.E. Clayton works full-time and writes as a hobby. She is an avid reader and, last year, she decided to trade in some of those reading hours to try her hand at writing her first book. With much self-doubt, but more positive feedback and encouragement from her friends and family, the Seven Deadly Sins series was born and a hobby she is now very passionate about. When she’s not working, writing or reading, she’s being pampered by the best husband in the world, having heart-to-hearts with her son, giving her daughter life advice or spending time with her grandchildren If you care to learn more, you can read about her by visiting the following:

  Smashwords Interview at:

  https://www.smashwords.com/interview/MonClayton

  Bookbub author page at:

  https://www.bookbub.com/profile/m-e-clayton

  Follow my Goodreads author page:

  https://www.goodreads.com/MEClayton

  Other Books

  Please visit your favorite ebook retailer to discover other books by M.E. Clayton:

  The Seven Deadly Sins Series (In Order)

  Catching Avery

  Chasing Quinn

  Claiming Isabela

  Conquering Kam

  Capturing Happiness

  The Buchanan Brothers Series (In Order)

  If You Could Only See

  If You Could Only Imagine

  If You Could Only Feel

  If You Could Only Believe

  If You Could Only Dream

  Standalone

  Unintentional

  In Enemy Territory

  Purgatory, Inc.

  Facing the Enemy

  My Big, Huge Mistake

  Contact Me

  I really appreciate you reading my book and I would love to hear from you! Now, unfortunately, because I do have a full-time job, and a family I love spending time with, at this time, I’m afraid it would be very hard for me to maintain a multitude of social media sites. However, for the sites I do participate in, here are my social media coordinates:

  Favorite my Smashwords author page:

  https://www.smashwords.com/interview/MonClayton

  Like my Facebook author page:

  https://facebook.com/claytonbooks

  Follow my Bookbub author page:

  https://www.bookbub.com/profile/m-e-clayton

  Follow my Goodreads author page:

  https://www.goodreads.com/MEClayton

  Visit my Website at:

  https://meclayton2016.wixsite.com/mysite

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  M.E. Clayton, If You Could Only Feel (Buchanan Brothers Series Book 3)