Juan

by Kathleen Ball

  “Tell me what you know that makes him a nice enough man? Would you want Mercy to go off and marry a man who is ‘nice enough’? Was this your idea? You hate that Sonia lives with me!” Juan started to stand.

  “I’m not going to fight you, so you might as well sit. Sonia has made choices in her life that led to her having no choices. At least she found someone willing to take her and the boy. Someone who is willing to marry her. One of the men wanted her to leave Brent behind because he wasn’t willing to raise another man’s son. Believe me, Winstone was by far the best of the bunch. She’ll be fine.”

  Juan choked back the bile that rose into his mouth. The best of the bunch? What did that even mean? “Were any inquiries made about his character?”

  Greg shook his head. “No, if you want to be a mail order bride I guess you pray that you get a good husband.” He leaned back against his saddle as though everything was fine.

  “Don’t you think I’d marry her if she was willing? We both know I can’t marry a white woman. I don’t suppose I could talk her out of it. I pay her a good wage.”

  “It’s not the same. You know how women are like chickens, they like to nest.”

  Juan widened his eyes. “Did you just compare Mercy to a chicken?”

  “No, not my Mercy. She’d probably want to be the rooster.” Greg smiled. “I would have been happy if the two of you got married. Just so you know there’s no law keeping you from marrying her.”

  “She wouldn’t have me. I always knew I’d live alone unless a Mexican woman miraculously crossed my path. I tried not to feel anything for her. I always knew this would be the outcome.” He shook his head. “I’m going to get some shut-eye,” Juan announced as he got comfortable on his bedroll. He put his back to the fire. He wasn’t going to get any sleep. How stupid were Greg and Sonia? He tilted his head until he could stare at the stars. There was a big part of him that didn’t want Sonia to leave…ever. But she was a grown woman with a child; she could make her own decisions.

  He rolled over and stared into the fire, watching the flames lick up toward the sky. She’d been just a child when that peddler had taken advantage of her. She’d probably had very few happy days since then. She hadn’t been prepared for people to turn their backs on her.

  It was different with him and Carlos. They had known from the first that they were different and people didn’t like different. It hurt like hell. He remembered trying to explain it to Carlos after he’d been chased home from school. His throat had burned while he tried to explain the way things were. It didn’t make much sense then, and it didn’t make sense now.

  God made him in his likeness. People told him God was white but in his heart Juan didn’t believe that God was one color. Or maybe God intended for everyone to get along despite their differences. What ever happened to God’s words, “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.” He sighed. This wasn’t about him; it was about Sonia. But the same words applied to Sonia too.

  She’d made her decision. Heck, she’d even set up a marriage for herself. Would she be safe? What about Brent? Would this David make her happy? Juan wanted nothing more than to see her smile. A real smile that wasn’t covering her worries. She deserved that.

  He was better for knowing her, but now he’d know loneliness and regret. He’d miss what could have been and what would have been if he’d been born into a different family. He was proud of his heritage, and he needed to remember that.

  It was going to be so hard to let her go. Brent would probably call David, Papa. Already Juan’s heart hurt, and she wasn’t even gone yet.

  He shifted, struggling to find comfort on the hard ground. He had a long day tomorrow and he needed to get some shut-eye. Once more, he rolled over, and finally he fell asleep.

  Sonia woke feeling melancholy. She’d be leaving tomorrow. She sat at the table drinking her coffee. Brent had been up a couple times through the night, and this morning he was still sleeping. It was unusual to have such peace and quiet.

  A familiar sound drifted in from outside, and she held her breath. It couldn’t be! Heart racing, she listened, and indeed it was the clanking of pots and pans knocking against each other on a peddler’s wagon. The noise brought back all the bad memories of how stupid she’d been.

  She grabbed her shawl and wandered outside. Her peddler had never been in the area since he’d left her in shame. It had taken a while before she had found the courage to approach any of the other peddler’s wagons that had rolled through town. She didn’t have money now, but she liked to look and see what wares were on the wagon. As she strode up to the wagon, she eyed the driver, and her breath escaped her, causing her to feel lightheaded.

  She sat down on the porch step trying to catch her breath. She glanced at the peddler again, and her heart plummeted as shame enveloped her. It was as though she was fifteen again. It was Arthur Spade, the man who seduced her and left her.

  Bitterness rose inside of her and she was tempted to run back into the house, but he saw her. Surprisingly there was no flicker of recognition in his eyes. Just how many girls had he promised to marry that he didn’t recall her? Hopefully, most weren’t as stupid as she and not every girl he tried to seduce had jumped the gun anticipating her wedding night.

  He hopped down off his wagon. His suit was in tatters. She’d never noticed before that he was so poorly dressed. He was still a handsome devil though. He smiled and now with experience behind her she could easily tell it was insincere.

  He took off his hat and waved it in front of him as he bowed to her. “Good morning, lovely lady. I presuming you’re the lady of the house.” He stood up straight and flashed another smile. He looked puzzled when she didn’t smile back.

  She had to bite her tongue. She was so tempted to tell him exactly how he ruined her life but he must not find out about Brent. He might try to take him. She grew increasing cold at the thought. “I’m just visiting.”

  “How fortuitous that we have met; I’m visiting too. We are like fellow travelers. Perhaps you’d like to pick out something for free? I couldn’t allow such a beautiful woman as you go without.” He winked at her.

  She wanted to be sick. “Actually I think I hear my child awake. Good day.”

  “I’ll be camping here tonight. Eli Todd gave me permission.”

  “This isn’t Eli’s land. It’s not mine either.” She hurried inside, closed the door, and pressed her back against it. What was she to do? Eli must have meant another piece of land but of course there would be no one to sell to.

  Her hands shook as she barred the door. She and Brent could spend the day inside. She’d often wished to see Arthur again so she could beat him with one of the cast iron pans he sold. But now that he was here, she dared not. It just wouldn’t be safe.

  She heard Brent’s cries and hurried into the bedroom to get him up. She got him dressed and then sat him on a chair in the kitchen so he could watch her make breakfast. After he ate, she put him on the floor. He crawled around and then crowed.

  Sonia hurried over and saw that Juan had finished making the blocks for her son. He was beyond excited to have the blocks. She showed him how to stack them and then knock them down. He laughed and laughed every time they fell.

  “I have to clean the kitchen. You build now.” She kept an eye on him as she cleaned. Brent was good at stacking the blocks and even better at knocking them over. She’d have to remember to thank Juan when he got back.

  Her heart jumped into her throat. Oh no! What would Juan say when he saw the peddler?

  The knock at the door did nothing to calm her nerves. “Who is it?”

  “It’s me, Mercy.”

  Sonia opened the door only wide enough for Mercy to get in and then closed and barred it.

  “What in the world?” Mercy raised her eyebrows.

  “That’s him. That’s the peddler that, well he, well—”

  “The one who caused you so much heartache?” Mercy gave her a sad smile
when she nodded. “Did you talk to him?”

  “I did, and he didn’t recognize me. I’ve decided to stay inside all day. I can’t have him suddenly remember and want to take Brent. He’ll be gone tomorrow.”

  “So will you,” Mercy said sadly. “I have to get back to Hannah. She was so cranky last night. Neither of us got much sleep. I’ll try to come back over with her later.”

  Sonia unbarred the door, opened it so Mercy could get out, and then closed and barred it once again. It was a bit sad. She was just getting to know Mercy. Hopefully there would be a lot of friends to make at her new home.

  Would her new husband’s ranch be big? He’d written that he had both cattle and horses but had not said which was his main focus. Would it be cattle or horses? Hopefully the house was well built. She’d find out soon enough. Looking around Juan’s cabin, though, she knew she’d miss it and Juan as well.

  There wasn’t much to do. She was packed and she had a stew on. She sat on the floor and played blocks with Brent. She showed him how to put them in a row like a wagon train and how to make them look like a square corral. He repeated every word after her and pride filled her.

  Brent started to get tired, but he refused to nap. It was late afternoon, and he just cried and cried. Perhaps it was the last of his teeth coming in? She just didn’t know. He didn’t have a fever or rash. Finally after what seemed like hours his eyes closed.

  She couldn’t stand it anymore; she needed some fresh air. Arthur hadn’t recognized her earlier anyway. Maybe it would be safe.

  She poured herself some coffee and headed out to sit on the porch. As soon as she sat, she sighed. Hopefully Brent would be fine on the journey they were to take in the morning. It would be stressful as it was. Looking around, she saw no sign of Arthur. Maybe he was at the creek. She didn’t care as long as he left her alone.

  He rounded the corner of Juan’s house and startled her.

  “Having a nice day?” he asked.

  “Not too bad.”

  “I heard your little one crying. Is there anything I can do? I have a few toys on my wagon.”

  “No, thank you anyway. Juan whittled him a set of blocks, and we’ve been playing with them.” She kept her gazes at a minimum.

  “Is he your husband?”

  “No, he’s just a friend. He’s been kind to me and my son since my husband died.” She glanced at him quickly and saw his eyes narrow.

  She stood. “It’s been nice chatting with you, but I must get back inside.”

  Arthur was quick. He got to the door before she even knew what was happening. “I remember you, Sonia,” he whispered in her ear.

  She turned and sat back down. There was no way she’d allow him inside. “You must be thinking of someone else.”

  “I don’t think so. A man doesn’t forget a willing little thing like you. Too bad I couldn’t have stayed in town longer. It was good between us. So who is Juan? Is he the Mexican who lives out this way?” He inched closer to her, and her heart began to thump against her chest.

  “Like I said, he’s a friend.”

  Arthur sneered. “I bet you’ve had many ‘friends’ since I left. Your mother was so hoity-toity with her nose so far in the air. It felt goo-ood to take her daughter. I bet it knocked her down a peg or two.” He laughed, a sickening chuckle without humor.

  “Is that what the whole seduction was about? To get at my mother? You led me into hell and left me there because my mother slighted you? What kind of man are you? Never mind, don’t answer. I already know.” She pushed up from the chair and tried to dash around him but he caught her around the waist. She pushed and kicked and finally clawed his face with her fingernails.

  Arthur was able to get the door open, and he hauled her inside. He slapped her so hard across the face she went flying until she hit the floor. “I expect you to behave. Besides I’ve already had you. You’re a fallen woman, Sonia. You belong in a brothel.”

  She sat up and touched her head. There was blood on her fingers. “I might have been a fallen little girl, but I confessed my sins and asked God for forgiveness. There are second chances, and my past doesn’t have to pull me down to your level.”

  “I suppose you have morals now too, eh? Sonia, that’s not how it works at all. Once fallen…that’s it.”

  She stood and faced him. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

  “You believe what you want. Makes no never mind to me as long as I get what I want.”

  Brent started wailing and she hurried to get him. He was still fussing. She carried him to the kitchen. “I need to feed him.”

  Arthur’s jaw dropped. “He’s mine. What’s wrong with him? Was he born slow?”

  “He is the perfect child.”

  Arthur scratched his chin. “Then you must baby him too much. Does he walk?”

  “Not yet.” She kept her gaze on Brent as she tried to give him a bit of the stew. Let him think there was something wrong. Maybe he’d just leave.

  “You know what I think? I think this Juan isn’t coming back tonight. No one likes to ride at night and it’s getting dark. You are just full of lies aren’t you? Maybe I should take you with me in the morning. You can lie to the customers and tell them how wonderful my goods are. They might even buy more if I have a family with me.” Arthur slapped his hand down on the table. “By golly, I think it’s a fine idea.”

  Sonia tried to ignore him. Of course Juan would be here, wouldn’t he? But what if—? Maybe he was waiting until she left. Suddenly she was scared.

  The door flew open so hard it hit the wall, and Juan walked in with his rifle ready to shoot. “Hold it right there. Don’t make a move.” He glared at Arthur. “Honey, I want you and Brent over here with me.”

  Tears pricked at the back of her eyes as relief surged through her. She picked up Brent, who started to cry again and then she hurried and stood right next to Juan.

  He looked her over and frowned when he looked at her head. “You all right?”

  “Now that you’re here I am.”

  “Want you to go over to Greg’s house. Mercy was on her way here with a rifle when we rode up.” He kept the rifle trained on Arthur while he ushered both Sonia and Brent outside.

  Greg and Mercy both were there on the front porch with rifles.

  “Mercy, take them home. I’ll be there as soon as we get rid of that piece of garbage,” Greg said.

  Clutching a squirming Brent close against her chest, Sonia stumbled next to Mercy. She couldn’t get away from Arthur fast enough.

  After they were inside Greg and Mercy’s house, Sonia finally broke down. Tears rolled down her face. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up.”

  “I knew something was wrong,” said Mercy. I just couldn’t shake the feeling. Come on, now. Let’s sit. You and Brent are safe.”

  Sonia blinked away her tears and looked around. At the sight of Hannah sitting in the middle of what looked like a miniature corral, she gasped. “I was just telling Juan I needed one of those.”

  “Yes, I know.” Mercy nodded. “He told Greg, who decided to make me one. It’s the best idea ever. Go on and put Brent in it with her.”

  Brent was still crying until Sonia set him down. He instantly smiled at Hannah, and she smiled back.

  Sonia laughed and cried at the same time. “He’s been crying all day. I should have borrowed Hannah.”

  “Come, sit. I want to look at your head.” Mercy grabbed a bowl of water and a towel.

  Sonia sat and wiped her tears. She winced and tried to keep from flinching away as Mercy doctored her.

  Greg opened the door to his cabin but Juan went through it first. He quickly glanced around until he saw Sonia. He immediately went to her and squatted down before her.

  He cupped her chin gently and turned her head this way then that way. “Are you hurt anywhere else? That looks bad.”

  “It was worse before Merc
y tended to it, and I’m fine. I’m not sure what my new husband will think when he sees the cut and bruise on my forehead.” She stared over his head as though she was unable to meet his gaze.

  “You’ll have to postpone going to him, I guess,” Juan said as hope grew in his heart.

  “Unfortunately, that won’t do. Greg made all the arrangements for me to get there.” She lowered her gaze until she met his, and she cringed. He must look as mad as he felt.

  He stood up and then stood toe to toe with Greg. “Would you like to explain any of this?” There was no mistaking the anger in his voice.

  “I’m sorry, Juan. At the time I thought I was doing you a favor.”

  Juan nodded and stepped away. “I’m tired. Are you and Brent coming, Sonia?”

  She readily nodded. “It’s time we left Mercy to a bit of peace. What did you do to Arthur?”

  “He’s tied up in the barn.” Greg smiled at their accomplishment.

  Mercy snickered. “No better place for a varmint like him.”

  Sonia stared, mouth gaping. She looked like she wanted to say something, but in the end, just shook her head. “Goodnight. Thank you both for all your help.” She held her arms down into the miniature corral and tried to get Brent but he scooted to the far side. She went around to catch him, but he moved again and stared her down wearing his mulish expression.

  Juan walked over and Brent cooed in delight. “Papa!” he said as he crawled toward Juan. Then Brent grabbed on to the side of the corral and pulled himself up to a standing position. He looked so pleased with himself.

  “Well, look at you standing there like a big boy. Come on, let Papa carry you home.”

  Brent went willingly into Juan’s arms and patted his face with his little hand again. Brent made him feel as though he was ten feet tall.

  “We’ll see you in the morning,” Juan said as he escorted Sonia and Brent out the door. He didn’t say a word until they entered his house.

  He still held Brent but he turned his head and caught Sonia’s glance. “We have a lot to talk about tonight.”