Worth The Risk

by Carly Marie

  She kissed my cheek. “Greasy hands leave prints.” Then she disappeared out the garage door, following the guys down the street toward Marie’s.

  “You’re fired!” I called to the closing door.

  She waved, my business credit card in her hand. “See you in an hour!”

  Mark approached the counter to find me bouncing my head off it. “Bad time?” he asked cautiously. “I don’t have a CT at the clinic, so please don’t give yourself a concussion.”

  “My sister may be the death of me.”

  He got nervous. “Oh, should I not have brought lunch?”

  “No, no, you’re fine. You know how siblings are. But I work with my sister. She just doesn’t understand personal boundaries, and now she thinks we’re going on a date.”

  Mark’s eyes widened, causing me to hold my hands up as I walked toward the waiting area where he was standing. “I told her she’s wrong. She just saw the texts about tonight and thought we were going on a date. Don’t worry, she wouldn’t tell anyone, even if we were. She’s just embraced being the big sister, even in our forties.”

  Mark relaxed some but his face was still bright red. “I’m sure you’d be amazing to go on a date with. I just don’t know if I’m ready.” He clamped his mouth shut like he’d said too much. “Not that I’m trying to presume you’re ready. Or would ever be ready. Or would even want to. And oh my god, I think I’m just going to leave your lunch here and show myself out.” Mark dropped the bag and turned around.

  “Mark, wait,” I reached out automatically, and I knew instantly I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t that it felt wrong, it was that it felt so right. While I knew it was only in my head, my hand felt like it was on fire. If I thought the brush of his lips to my cheek had left me affected, it had nothing on what was happening at that moment. A shiver raced through Mark’s body, noticeable even through his wool coat, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt something.

  He turned slowly, his face still flushed from embarrassment, but his pupils were dilated and his nostrils flared.

  “Please don’t leave.” I dropped my hand from his shoulder and shoved both of my hands into the front pockets of my jeans.

  Mark rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’m not normally like this. I seem to make a fool out of myself around you.”

  That I could understand.

  “I like that you brought me lunch. Thank you. And I’d love for you to stay.” I looked around the vacant shop. “I’m alone for the next hour, it would seem. And it would be a shame if I just bought the shop lunch only to eat alone.”

  Mark’s brow furrowed. “I… don’t quite know what to make of that.”

  I waved my hand around the vacant space. “My ever-so-helpful sister just took everyone out to lunch so that we could have some time alone. On my dime.”

  Mark’s mouth opened and closed a few times as he processed my words. “Oh.” Silent thoughts ran across his face, but his eyes were bright and his breathing fast. Before I could say anything else, his mouth crashed down on mine. I was taken by such surprise that I didn’t have time to tilt my head, and for a second, our noses crashed together uncomfortably. He didn’t seem to be willing to pull back now that our lips had met, and I had no intentions to either. I managed to turn my head to the side awkwardly, but as soon as our mouths were together fully, his lips parted.

  I took the gesture as an invitation to deepen the kiss, allowing my tongue to move toward his mouth. Mark hummed as his mouth opened. I pushed at Mark’s shoulders, guiding him to the desk where the schedule sat. He bumped into it ass first and spread his legs, letting me slot between them while we continued to kiss.

  By the time I’d run out of air and had to pull back, my dick was hard and pressing against my fly so uncomfortably I was worried the zipper would give way. I’d felt Mark’s cock growing just as hard as mine but hadn’t done more than rock my hips into him. The action elicited a beautiful moan from him, and I wanted to do it again, but this was further than we should have gone over lunch.

  We broke the kiss, both panting hard. Mark looked shocked. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

  Running my hand through my hair, I tried not to look as insanely aroused as I felt. My eyes had dilated to the point it was hard to focus on him, so I didn’t know if I managed or not. “It’s okay. That was definitely mutual.” At least I thought it was. I stepped back, reaching my hand into my pocket and trying to adjust myself to find some relief.

  A small smile cracked his face. “Yeah, I guess it was. That was…” He trailed off for a moment before seeming to regain his senses. “That was really good. I liked that a lot…” The air in the office changed, and a silent “but” hung in the air. I steeled myself for his next words.

  “I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know that I’m ready. There’s something between us—I don’t know what yet, but I can feel it. This is all taking me by surprise. I’ve been single so long, feeling anything about anyone hadn’t crossed my mind before I met you. And… and I don’t know that I can do this. It’s just… I’m new to town, the boys and I are trying to get settled, and I’m trying to find my new normal. I have the clinic to worry about. I can’t do something to jeopardize that. There’s a lot going on in my life.”

  He glanced at the bags of food that had been left on the counter, then over to me. “But damn, you’re a good kisser.”

  In a few dozen words, Mark shut down anything and everything happening between us. I shouldn’t have been as disappointed as I was—it was just a kiss—but I felt a sadness I hadn’t felt since Paul left over fifteen years before. I tried to hide my disappointment with a brave smile and confident face, but I had to clear my throat a few times before I got words out. “I get it. And, no matter what, I’d like to think of you as a friend.” I sounded desperate and pathetic, even to my own ears.

  Mark’s smile was pinched. “Thank you for understanding. I…” He looked over at the door. “I should probably go. I’ve already been away from the clinic for quite a while. Would you please text me the address for tonight?”

  I nodded absently, confused as to why he would even be asking at this point. Part of me never expected to see him in more than a casual way again. In a small town, it was impossible to avoid someone completely, but it didn’t mean he had to go out of his way to see me either. “Yeah. Of course.” I pulled out my phone and sent the address to him before he could even leave the office.

  His phone dinged in his pocket and he smiled. “Thanks, Jeff. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “No pressure,” I responded to the closing door.

  CHAPTER 10

  Mark

  It was official. I was an asshole. A massive asshole. I made it back to the clinic before the weight of what I’d done sank in. I’d kissed him, told him it was a mistake, then ran out of the garage like my ass was on fire. He’d put a brave face on, but I could tell how hurt Jeff had been as I’d left. And I still had to go to the basketball game that night.

  I pulled my phone out and sent a text to Carl. He’d been unexpectedly sent to DC the day before. Something about an emergency situation that he couldn’t talk about. I had no idea if he’d get my message or not. I almost hoped not, but I just needed some way to talk my thoughts out.

  I’m the biggest asshole alive. I kissed Jeff, then ran. He’s going to hate me.

  I dropped my head onto my desk, much like Jeff had been doing when I entered the shop. I was an idiot. My phone buzzed seconds later.

  What the fuck do you mean you kissed him and ran?

  Fuck. Carl was able to chat. I couldn’t avoid him, and hell, maybe he’d have some advice for me.

  Mark Murray, I swear to the moon and the stars above us, if you hurt Jeff, I will kick your ass from here to next week! I would expect better from you.

  … Or he could remind me what an asshole I was. Great, now my brother was making me feel even worse. Every text I crafted in response felt disingenuous. I spent three minutes wri
ting and deleting at least five separate texts to him before the next one came in.

  Wait. There has to be an explanation. You aren’t that guy and I know that. So what happened? Why did you kiss him? Why did you run? What’s going on?

  Those were all things I could answer. So I sat back and started to type.

  We’ve been spending time together. I think there’s something there. I just feel like it’s too much, too soon. I’ve only been in town a few weeks. The boys haven’t even started school yet. I’m barely getting my feet under me at the clinic. I would be stupid to jump into a relationship with anyone. But, I took lunch to him today, he looked so damn good standing there. I made a fool out of myself, went to run, he stopped me, and I kissed him. Then I told him it was a mistake and ran. And I have to see him tonight at a basketball game.

  I cursed myself then spun around in my chair trying to figure out how to handle the mess I’d made.

  I could see that Carl had received the text. In my head I could hear the curses he was throwing my way, but his response took minutes to come in.

  Knowing you as well as I do, I see why you panicked. That’s what you did, you panicked. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now. Also, I don’t think you’ve been with a guy since the douchebag you dated back in college. Jeff’s not like him, and I think you know that. But, you have to figure out how to make this right. Don’t pull a Dwayne.

  I groaned at his reference. Not even thirty seconds later, another text came in.

  I gotta go, bro. We have shit exploding here. Be home soon.

  “Fuck!” I yelled into my office. It must have echoed around the walls because Trish knocked on the door.

  “Everything okay in there, Dr. Murray?”

  It didn’t matter how many times I asked her to call me Mark, or even Dr. Mark, she still insisted on calling me Dr. Murray. Maybe one day I’d finally convince her to call me something less formal. “Yes, Trish, sorry about that. What time will my next patient be in?”

  “Fifteen minutes.”

  I took a deep breath. “Thank you, Trish.” Now to figure out how to handle the situation with Jeff. The situation that I’d royally fucked up. And every time I closed my eyes to concentrate, the only thing I thought about was the feel of him grinding against me, and I got hard all over again. Fifteen minutes later, I didn’t have a plan and Trish knocked on my door to tell me I had a patient in room one.

  I spent most of the rest of the day attempting to focus on my work while also trying to figure out what to do about Jeff, and found myself exhausted by the time I locked the clinic up at five. It left me with just enough time to rush to my parents’ house, grab the boys, warm up leftovers from the night before, and get to the next town over before six. I hadn’t even taken time to change before loading us up in the car.

  *

  Jeff didn’t see us walk in, but my eyes found him quickly. He was sitting on the bleachers near half-court, wearing a plaid shirt in the same colors as Seth’s team’s jerseys. Where he managed to find a purple and yellow plaid shirt was anyone’s guess, but even in the offensive color combination, he was the most striking person in the gym.

  Unfortunately, it wasn’t his beauty that momentarily stopped me in my tracks. It was the way, despite his easy smile, that tension sat heavy on his face. The corners of his eyes were pinched and his eyes themselves lacked the brightness in them I’d come to expect, even from across a gymnasium.

  I ran my hand over my face to try to gather my thoughts. My boys spotted Jeff and went running over before I’d pulled myself together, never picking up on my unease. As soon as they reached him, Jeff beamed happily and I could hear him greet them even over the dull roar of the crowd.

  By the way he talked to them so warmly, no one would have guessed I’d kissed him and run not even six hours earlier. Jenna smiled at me when she spotted me walking up. If he’d told her what I’d done, she wouldn’t have greeted me so kindly. Annie narrowed her eyes and refused to speak to me. It shouldn’t have surprised me that she knew. It didn’t surprise me that she was angry with me. Joining them on the bleachers, I could hear Jeff introducing Thomas to a woman with auburn hair. “Thomas, this is Mrs. Baron. Mrs. Baron, this is Thomas Murray. From what I hear, he’s going to be joining your class after the break.”

  The woman’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh yes. It’s so good to meet you, Thomas.”

  I took a seat beside Thomas and watched as Jeff’s posture stiffened. He hid any unease at my presence almost as quickly when he went to introduce me to Thomas’s teacher, though his voice wasn’t quite as warm. “And this is his dad, Dr. Mark Murray.”

  Her face brightened even more, but I struggled to pay attention to her when I’d so clearly heard the tension in Jeff’s voice. “Hi, Dr. Murray. It’s a pleasure to meet you and Thomas.”

  “Please, call me Mark. It’s wonderful to meet you. Thomas is certainly excited to start back to school. Seth has said many great things about you.” I wanted to pat myself on the back for sounding so casual when inside I was anything but. I wanted to grab Jeff’s hand, make him look at me, make him listen to me. Tell him I was sorry for how I’d reacted. Beg for forgiveness I didn’t deserve.

  We made small talk for a number of minutes before the teams finally took to the court. Jeff was as casual as could be, interacting with me when needed but spending most of his energy cheering for his son and every other kid on the court. I caught myself laughing as he bounced up and down with Eli when Seth scored his first three-point shot of the game. He led the crowd in chants and knew every move to the cheerleaders’ routines, much to Jenna’s utter horror. His enthusiasm didn’t end with Seth’s team. He cheered almost as loudly when the other team did well.

  I got up and moved to the row behind him as the game progressed through the second quarter, just so that I could watch him without him noticing me. As the minutes ticked by, I began to figure out what it was about Jeff that drew me to him. His love of life and his love for his kids was something I wanted in my life. I’d always been attracted to people with a true love of life. Once upon a time, my ex had had the same love of life, and that was what had attracted me to her in the first place.

  The third quarter was halfway over when I had my ah-ha moment. I had a type, and it wasn’t based on gender—it was based on personality. It was based on connection. I’d connected with Jeff even before he’d gotten into my car Friday night. Standing on the side of the road, watching him talk to his car, I’d felt something. I’d initially been confused by the attraction. Right away, I’d felt drawn to him but it had been so long since I’d felt that way it hadn’t made sense.

  Understanding what I found attractive, it made more sense. I’d been pulled toward him talking to Louie like the car would respond. Adults didn’t talk to inanimate objects like that, at least not often. Adults had normally become too engrossed in their own lives to even think about having a conversation with something that couldn’t talk back. His personality, that silly conversation with Louie, had pulled me to him like a moth to a flame. Then I got to know him as a person that evening and the next day. He was kind, he was caring, and he hadn’t expected anything from me but my friendship. Jeff had opened his home to me, a virtual stranger, and had treated me like I’d been his friend forever. I hadn’t realized it until that moment, but I’d picked up on that love of life from the moment I’d met him, and I’d been drawn to it. It was what had compelled me to go to dinner with him. It was the same thing that had allowed me to feel comfortable drinking a bit too much and to fall asleep at his house instead of insisting he drive me home.

  The way he’d interacted with his kids and mine at dinner, the way he smiled, the way he laughed. He’d shown up at my house Christmas Eve with all the supplies needed to wrap the boys’ gifts. It was Jeff’s presence—it was like a drug I couldn’t have enough of. And his personality was only part of what drew me to him.

  The better I got to know him, the more I noticed him. His bright smile, his b
ig brown eyes, and thick brown hair. Jeff was beautiful, from his personality to his appearance. Every part of him that I’d seen so far made me want to learn more about him.

  Jeff was the first one on his feet cheering as Seth’s team finally tied the game after being behind for most of it. He jumped on the narrow bleachers, Eli and Thomas looking at him with wide eyes filled with amusement.

  Jenna buried her face in her phone. “You’re so embarrassing,” she hissed at him. “Sit down before you fall. Who’s the parent here?”

  She didn’t even have the last word completely out of her mouth when Jeff did fall, his foot caught on the lip of the seat in front of him, and he began to tumble. Instinctively, I reached out and pulled him back before he could fall forward and down.

  Jeff wasn’t able to regain his balance quickly enough and we overcorrected, sending both of us backward. I landed on my ass on the plastic seat, my back bumping into the row behind me. I let out a squeak as Jeff, more or less on my lap, landed against my chest and pushed the air out of me.

  “Sorry about that. But thanks for the save.”

  I shook my head but couldn’t help the smile that played on my lips. “Anytime.”

  By the end, I was certain the high school-level basketball game was more enjoyable than any other one I’d been to. If Jeff wasn’t providing comic relief to those standing around us, he was talking about everything from work to the game. Even though he was understandably upset with me, his antics made the game fun.

  As the fourth quarter wound down, Jeff forgot to ignore me. “Have we sold you on small town life yet?”

  I looked between Jeff, my boys, the parents around us, and the number of people in the stands. Just to see how close everyone was and the amount of support the kids had was refreshing.

  “It’s growing on me.”

  Jeff must have realized he’d accidentally addressed me, and gave a curt nod. “Great. From what I hear, people already like you.”