A Garden Dream

by Jea Hawkins

There were no more questions after that as Emma moved her lips to Crystal’s neck, her dirt-covered hands curled at the back of her girlfriend’s neck to hold her close. The little moans and gasps Crystal let out were soft, plaintive, like the whimpering of the coyotes in the distance.

  The woman beneath her felt amazing and sensual and absolutely desperate for love, and Emma wanted to be the person to give it to her. Rain continued to fall around them, to splatter against the ground and leave cool trails along their bodies. A slight mist rose from them, caused by the lingering heat of the day. It would cool down quickly – Emma knew that from books and movies – so she wanted as much as she could get of Crystal’s heat now.

  Emma drew her hands down from Crystal’s neck to run them over her peasant blouse. The material was scratchy beneath her palms. Besides, what Emma really wanted to touch was the soft, warm skin beneath it.

  Her hands found their way beneath the shirt and glided over Crystal’s bra. Still not good enough. She wrapped her arms around Crystal and rolled her over on top of her, so she could unclasp the bra.

  Crystal looked down at her, long blonde hair cascading around Emma. It was like a warm, golden curtain that shut out everything but the two of them. Face to face, heart to heart – this was what they needed. Emma knew that now.

  She reached up and threaded her fingers through Crystal’s abundant waves of hair. “I have always loved you,” she whispered as she drew Crystal down toward her for a kiss.

  The blonde’s soft lips slanted over hers with fervor and Emma reveled in their shared hunger. It was one of those moments that brought her back in time, to those early days making love to Crystal. Those were the times she thought she would become lost in her girlfriend’s very existence and she would have welcomed it with open arms.

  Emma lowered her hands to Crystal’s hips and then worked her fingers toward the buttons holding her shorts on. They needed to go and fast. Crystal needed to know how much she was loved.

  Somehow, Emma managed to find the buttons and undo them. Then she tugged at Crystal’s waist, a silent plea for her to shimmy out of the clothes and bring herself up, closer to Emma. Crystal twisted her body as she continued to kiss Emma, wriggling out of the shorts and panties. When she broke the kiss, they both gasped for breath. Waves of heat radiated off Crystal as she sat up and lifted her shirt off over her head. Her bra followed and then she was naked, glorious in the body nature had given her, illuminated only by the fire, shadowed by the darkness.

  Raindrops still fell, large and round, splattering against her upright body and then trickling down it. Emma curled her fingers into Crystal’s thighs and tugged at her again, urging her to move up.

  In another moment, Crystal’s knees were on either side of Emma’s head and she was lowering herself down onto Emma’s face. With more hunger than she realized she possessed, Emma used her tongue to trace along Crystal’s dewy folds and then plunged deep inside the valley between them. For far too long, Emma had waited and hoped their problems might go away. Paralyzed by doubt and frustration, confusion and anger, she had let their relationship lapse into near-death.

  Now she breathed new life into it by making love to her girlfriend in the most intimate way she knew possible. And the way Crystal writhed and undulated above her as the rain fell, Emma felt her own need ramp up.

  The way Crystal leaned back and thrust her hips forward, her body colliding with Emma’s, was beautiful as far as Emma was concerned. It was honest and passionate and uninhibited. Emma drank it all in – the sight of her girlfriend’s wet, naked body glistening in the firelight, the sensation of the rain hitting her overheated skin, and the taste of Crystal’s salty-sweetness on her tongue.

  Crystal’s hips hitched back and forth, letting Emma know she was close to the release she needed. For a moment, Emma toyed with the idea of denying her, of drawing it out longer. Then she wrapped her arms around Crystal’s thighs and pressed her face as firmly as she could into her.

  The yell Crystal let out shattered the peaceful night, eliciting answering howls from the coyotes somewhere beyond the hills. When Crystal’s body slumped over her, Emma felt the raindrops lighten slightly. Energy sang through her girlfriend now, even as she panted for breath. Whatever she had used up in the ritual, she was refilled and renewed.

  After another moment, Crystal straightened over Emma and looked down at her, blonde hair a wild tangle. “I needed that,” she said in a low, throaty voice.

  “I know.” Emma pressed kisses to her inner thighs and grinned when Crystal shivered, still sensitive.

  “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  Crystal turned, still positioning her legs on either side of Emma’s head, but now facing her feet. “I think we’re only just getting started because I can tell you need it too.” Crystal’s fingers dipped to Emma’s jeans and then unzipped them. The moment her hand slid into Emma’s panties, Emma knew Crystal was right. Those fingers curled into her effortlessly, pushing inside of her as if testing to see if Emma would accept her.

  No, she hadn’t needed her girlfriend to state the obvious. Her panties had been slick with need for some time, cool with wetness against her skin. She lifted her hips so Crystal could push her pants down over her legs and off onto the ground. That little maneuver put Crystal’s lovely pussy back within reach, so Emma used her tongue to gather the sweetness that remained there.

  She was rewarded with a low hiss of need from her girlfriend. “Now you’re in for it,” Crystal warned, and bent down press her lips to Emma’s pelvis. That tongue of hers stroked over her clitoris without forewarning, then passed down over her aching lips.

  “I’m counting on it,” Emma whispered before she lost the ability to speak. Instead, she occupied her mouth with something else entirely.

  Chapter 14

  The morning sun threw unwelcome light across the entire desert, waking Emma up much too early. She rolled over on her stomach and burrowed deeper into the sleeping bag, draping her arm over Crystal as she did. Just as it was portrayed in the movies, the desert got much cooler at night. It was at least thirty degrees cooler than it had been during the day, and she snuggled up against Crystal for warmth.

  That was the nice thing about sleeping bags, she had learned last night. Some could be zipped together to create one large, two-person sleeping bag. How they’d even managed to find the presence of mind to do that, she really couldn’t recall. Last night was a blur of rain and fire, earth and desert air carrying the sounds of nature as it celebrated with them.

  What they were celebrating, Emma still wasn’t sure yet. She remembered actually throwing her panties and bra into the fire on an impulse, following Crystal’s lead. Now their underthings were ashes, scattered by the desert breeze.

  Groaning, she squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to keep the light out. But Crystal was already sitting up and muttering. “Clothes. Where are my clothes?”

  Emma stuck her hand out of the sleeping bag and pointed. She didn’t know where she was pointing, but the gesture itself seemed sufficient in her mind. Still, she giggled at the likely futility of it.

  “Jeez, what happened to us last night?” Crystal’s body slid out of the sleeping bag, leaving Emma alone, cocooned in the remaining warmth. Despite how wonderful it felt to have that softness all around her, Emma pushed herself up onto her elbows and opened her eyes.

  “What is this?” Crystal looked down at her hands and then the pile of clothes at her feet. “What the heck did I do?”

  “Dug in the dirt with your hands just to bury everything and then burned your underwear.” Emma sat up and ran her fingers through her long, dark hair, still blinking sleepily. “Haven’t you ever gone camping? You sound shocked that there’s dirt on you.”

  Crystal turned around a few times and then finally crouched to gather her clothes. “Actually, I’m more shocked that my bra and panties are gone. Did I really burn them?” When Emma nodded, Crystal rolled her eyes. “I was so caught up in
last night, I just feel weird, like my head is full of water or air. Like I’m a new me or… something. Does that make any sense?”

  “It makes perfect sense. Or, rather, we were unmade and that’s what makes sense.”

  “Criminy, there you go with your mysterious witchy thing. In English, please, Em.” Crystal shook out her shorts and then pulled them over her legs. She did the same with her shirt, shaking it before tugging it down over her head. “If I find scorpions in my clothes, I am going to scream so fucking loud.”

  Emma finally left the safety of the sleeping bag and rose to stand there, naked in the morning sun. “The earth is where we’re born,” she clarified, “and when we die, we go back to it. Then from it, we are reborn again. Whatever we did last night was a ritual of rebirth. Not quite the descent of the Goddess, but close enough.”

  “Descent of the Goddess? Refresh me on that.” Crystal picked up her boots, shook them, and then turned them upside down and smacked the soles with the palm of her hand. “Seriously, I love watching football and drinking beer, but I draw the line at crawly critters.”

  Emma stooped down to pick up her shirt and pants, and shook them out the way Crystal had her own clothes. As much as she believed everything on earth had its place, she had to agree about the crawly critters. They weren’t welcome in her clothes.

  “There are various stories in different cultures about the Descent of the Goddess,” she said as she got dressed. “It depends on the pantheon. A goddess usually wants something either for herself or on behalf of a lover, something precious. So she descends into the underworld to seek it. When she’s down there, she’s forced to strip herself bare to get to what she wants, but when she comes out, she’s made even more whole than she was before. It’s a process of baring oneself, getting to the innermost wants and desires. But to actually achieve them, the goddess has to show her true nature.”

  “That sounds beautiful and all, but how can you be more whole than you were before?”

  A light breeze picked up and Emma turned to lift her face to it. “Well, as humans we go through our lives always searching and learning, and of course we make mistakes. Re-enacting a symbolic death or descent into the underworld is one way for us to let go of things, to break ourselves down and then put ourselves back together. That’s what we did last night. Burying the coal was a symbolic gesture of burying that innermost negativity we both have been living with for a very long time.”

  “And you know that for certain because…?”

  “Because, well…” Emma bit her lip. “It’s a best guess based on what we did last night. I guess we could ask our hostess, though.”

  “Yes, and let’s see if she has some coffee while we’re at it.” Crystal turned and walked up the hill, then called out, “Emma!”

  As much as Emma wanted to stay just a little longer and admire the desert in the morning light, the urgency in Crystal’s voice compelled her to move. She slipped her sneakers on and scrambled up the slope to the earth above, only to let out a gasp. “It… Where… What…?”

  “I’m glad you can articulate it about as well as I can.” Crystal clenched her fists at her sides and Emma saw her entire body shaking, not with anger, but shock. “So have you got an explanation for this?”

  Emma didn’t. All she knew was the house had been there last night and now…

  …it simply wasn’t.

  Her truck was there, parked several feet away from them, but there was no house. Emma started walking and then increased her pace to a run until she was at the side of the truck. It was still locked, the keys were still in the pocket of her jeans, and there was still no house. No woman.

  Crystal caught up with her and gestured toward her. “What about that card with the address?”

  Emma reached into her other pocket, looked at the white card she found there, and then handed it to Crystal.

  “It’s just a business card for the shop we were in,” Crystal said, turning it over several times in her hands. “Nothing else. Holy shit, what happened to it? What happened to us? Maybe we really did smoke peyote…”

  “Or maybe the goddess was guiding us out here because she knew we needed her.” Emma unlocked the truck and climbed inside. She opened the console between the seats and checked to make sure their hotel room key cards were still there.

  Crystal slid into the passenger side and let out a breath, her entire body relaxing back against the seat. “So, we go back to the hotel, shower, check-out, and get on the road?”

  The clock showed six-thirty when Emma started the truck and she curled her fingers around the steering wheel. “Yeah, that sounds good to me.” She lifted her gaze to Crystal. “Are you feeling okay after last night?”

  “I am. Yeah. Just really weirded out.” Crystal looked at her and finally smiled. “I still love the heck out of you, Em, and maybe I love you even more, now. But all of this is just too trippy for me. I need time to process it.”

  Emma couldn’t blame her. Encounters with the divine were daunting, to say the least. Still, she knew from experience that they happened because someone needed a nudge to find the right direction in life.

  At the hotel, they showered together, both eager to clean off the dirt of the impromptu camping experience. But Emma gave Crystal some distance to work through her thoughts and emotions.

  Once they were in fresh clothing, packed, and ready to go, they took their bags with them to the hotel coffee shop. “Do you think we can get about a billion extra shots of espresso?” Crystal asked the barista as she paid for their order. He laughed when he handed over their change. “But I was serious…” Crystal glared at him when he turned away to blend their drinks.

  “I know you were, Crys. I’m sure he’ll do his best to give you the caffeine you need. If it’s not enough, we’ll make a pit stop at one of the truck stops along the way.” Emma rubbed her shoulder and gave her an affectionate squeeze. It felt good to touch her again after all this time, good to reaffirm their love for one another. They took their croissants and fruit cups, and found a table in the back corner of the small café.

  As soon as the barista called their names, Crystal jumped out of her seat, jostling the table in her haste to get the coffee. Emma kept their food from sliding off and took her drink when Crystal returned.

  “Sorry. I’m just… ugh, jittery.”

  “Then do you think a billion shots of espresso is such a good idea?” Emma asked with a half-smile, raising the coffee cup to her lips.

  “I think it’s too much energy.” Crystal lowered her voice to a whisper and darted her gaze around the coffee shop. “I mean, there’s replenished and then there’s ‘on,’ if you know what I mean. Did you see how one of the bulbs in the bathroom blew when I flipped the switch in there before we took our shower?”

  Emma nodded and pressed her lips together, holding back a laugh.

  “And the elevator went wonky, too. It kept lighting up floors, even though I only pressed the button for the ground floor. I don’t know what to do with all of this energy. At the time last night, before we – you know – well, I needed it. But now there’s too much.”

  “Okay, I know what’s going on. I had this happen the first time I drew down the moon.” Emma set her coffee down and then extended both her hands across the table. “Come on.”

  Crystal looked down at her palms. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Go ahead.” Emma watched as Crystal slowly lowered her palms toward Emma’s. When they made contact, Emma closed her eyes and sucked in a breath. “Oh yeah, you are beyond switched on, Crys. It’s divine energy, which is very different from your normal elemental or sexual energy. That’s okay. I’ve got this.”

  She relaxed her shoulders and let her breathing even out into longer, slower, deeper breaths. Each draw of air into her lungs made her feel at peace and in touch with the ground beneath them. Now she asked that stable, rooted energy to make its way into Crystal and slough off the excess power weaving through and around her.

 
; Drop by drop, the extraneous energy wreathing through and around Crystal ebbed until her breathing matched Emma’s. “Thank you,” she said when they both opened their eyes. “I feel so much better, now. Topped off, but not to the point where I’m going to explode.”

  “I needed that, too. I was a little too giddy this morning until I grounded and centered myself.” Emma drew her hands back across the table and picked up her coffee. “Whatever we did last night was some potent stuff. Like drawing down the moon, only a hundred times stronger.”

  “But strangely refreshing, like light beer.” Crystal grinned at her from across the table. “Well, what’s next?”

  Emma licked at the bit of whipped cream from her lip and smiled. “We go home.”

  Chapter 15

  There was something far more relaxed about the drive home and the difference was palpable. This time, they still stayed in more of what Emma would consider out-of-the-way dive motels, but she embraced the experience. This was the rural Midwest, after all, and Crystal was right. The places they spent both nights in had character. Sure, it was a kind of faded, run down sort of character, but Emma could appreciate it now that she saw everything more clearly.

  On the second night of their drive, they stayed in Colorado, not far from the Nebraska border. This motel was actually on a scenic overlook, so they both went outside to sit and watch the sunset.

  “This feels so good,” Crystal said as she sat in the grass, leaning back, her hands braced against the ground and her legs stretched out in front of her. “I feel like I’ve finally come back down to earth.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Emma had her knees up against her chest and her arms wrapped around them. “Everything still has this strange, sharp new clarity, but it’s like we don’t have a care in the world. It almost makes me sorry to go home. I went to Sedona not expecting much and I’m leaving with you. I mean, I know I went with you, but not with you.”

  “Me too. I’m so happy, I could cry.” Crystal let out a giggle. “Jeez, I still feel kind of giddy. Could you imagine just getting lost out here? I don’t mean lost in a ‘send a search party’ way, but living somewhere that’s kind of, well, nowhere?”