Ignited

by Suzannah Daniels

  But I knew my mother.

  She was an office manager for a small customer service call center, but she’d missed her calling. The woman should have been an attorney. With her ability to create an argument for anything, it was difficult to tell her “no,” undoubtedly one of the reasons that she was an effective manager.

  But the longer I was with Hawk, the more I knew that I’d never go back to live in Alabama. Hawk was a Creekview boy, born and raised. He was already living the life he wanted, and I suspected that he had no desire to live anywhere else.

  And I wanted to be near him. In fact, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

  “I’m glad Mercury was close to you the night of the apartment fire.” It was a little random, but since he was talking about Mercury, I decided to bring it up.

  He reached over and squeezed my hand. “Believe me, I am, too. I’d hate to miss out on the chance to eat some of your dumplings.”

  The corners of my mouth tilted upward. I loved to cook, and his mother had agreed to show me how to make dumplings while Hawk helped his father clean up the leaves in the yard.

  I was pretty excited since my own mother didn’t cook very often, but the thing that excited me the most was that I would be able to make his favorite dish. Hawk was the most selfless person I’d ever met, and I wanted to do things for him as an appreciation for all that he’d done for me. I wanted to make him happy, the way he had made me happy.

  “Hawk.” He could tell by my tone that I was serious. When he turned to look at me, his smile had been replaced with a look of concern.

  I took a deep breath. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  We were on a narrow side street with very little traffic. Hawk pulled to the edge of the road and stopped.

  He reached out and cupped my chin. “Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

  “But what if….”

  “Nothing’s going to happen, Amber. I’ll always be here if you need me. You hear me?”

  I searched his face. He and I both knew it was a promise that he had no control over, but the confidence in his voice made me feel better nonetheless.

  “You hear me?” he asked again, softer this time.

  I nodded.

  “The only thing you need to worry about is making dumplings because I’m starving. Let me worry about everything else, okay?”

  I didn’t expect the tears that filled my eyes. Maybe it was because I’d been burdened for so long, and there was something extremely appealing about his offer. If I stopped to think about things too long, stress would overcome me. I still had to deal with my parents, and I still had to return the engagement ring to Carey’s parents. I knew I’d been avoiding both issues.

  He put the car in park. “Amber?”

  I blinked and the tears rolled down my cheeks.

  He hugged me to him. “You don’t have to face anything alone. I’m with you. I’ll be with you in Alabama. I’ll be with you whenever you need me.” Pulling back, he gently wiped away my tears. He knew me so well that sometimes it felt like he was reading my thoughts.

  I lifted my hand and placed it on top of his hand that cupped my cheek. “Do you believe in fate?”

  “If you and I are fate, then yes, I believe in it.”

  “Sometimes I wonder if I was never meant to be with Carey at all. If everything that happened was meant to lead me to you. But then I wonder if it was Carey’s fate to die at such a young age. Because if it was, then I think I have a love-hate relationship with fate.”

  “Whenever someone dies, it’s a tragedy. Carey died too young. The girl that I couldn’t reach in time died too young. But we’re still alive, Amber, and we have to find some way to cope.” His thumb caressed my cheek. “And it’s a lot easier to cope when we’re with someone we love.”

  His words forced the air from my lungs, and my eyes searched his face, wondering if I had misconstrued his meaning.

  He kissed me gently. “I love you, Amber,” he whispered against my lips.

  “I love you, too, Hawk.” And I did. I loved him, and I wanted to be with him forever.

  A loud horn disrupted our moment.

  Hawk pulled himself back over to his seat and looked in the rearview mirror. “Jace.”

  “What?” I turned and looked out the back window. Jace’s car was behind us, and I could see him smiling. “Oh. You think he saw us kissing?”

  “You can count on it, and he was all too happy to interrupt us.”

  “Does that embarrass you?” I asked.

  Hawk cut his eyes toward me. “No. Does it embarrass you?”

  I shook my head. “Huh-uh.”

  “Good.” He smiled and reached back over to me, pulling me toward him. “’Cause I really want to do it again.”

  After Hawk kissed me thoroughly, we noticed that Jace had pulled up beside us with his window down, waiting patiently for us to finish.

  Hawk rolled his window down, and the cool November wind rushed in, gently blowing my hair.

  Jace was smiling, mischief written all over his face. “As a cop, I’ve seen a lot of people pulled over making out, even having sex. But they don’t usually do it in the middle of the road.”

  “You mean you’ve never done that?” Hawk asked him.

  Jace shook his head. “No, not in the middle of the road.”

  “Then you just haven’t met the right girl yet,” Hawk said as he squeezed my hand.

  “Guess not,” Jace shot back. “Try to save some of your energy for yard work.” And with that, Jace drove off, leaving us to ourselves.

  A couple of minutes later, we pulled into his parents’ driveway and parked beside Jace’s car.

  When we walked into their house, I could already smell the aromas of a home-cooked meal. I followed Hawk into the kitchen and his mother instantly greeted us with a smile.

  “Hey, son.” She hugged him, and as soon as she finished, she turned her smile on me. “Hi, Amber.”

  “Hi, Mrs. Hawkins.”

  She gave me a quick hug. “You ready to make dumplings?”

  “I am.”

  “Is Dad in the backyard?” Hawk asked his mother.

  “Yeah, he and Jace just walked outside.”

  “I’ll go help them then.”

  Hawk

  When I walked out the back door, Jace was already raking leaves out of my mother’s flower beds. I grabbed another rake out of the shed and helped him. While my dad mowed the backyard, we piled the leaves in the center of the lawn, so that he could come by and chop them up with the lawnmower.

  “Dad wants to trim some of the lower branches off the oak trees in the back, too,” Jace said.

  I glanced at the trees that lined the back of the yard. “Okay. Do you want me to work on that while you finish this up?”

  “Yeah, if you want to. I’m going to rake the leaves out from the bushes in the front yard, too.”

  “Okay.” I put my rake back in the shed and carried the aluminum ladder to the back of the yard, leaning it against one of the trees. After going back to get the chainsaw, I carried it up the ladder, cranked it, and began sawing off some of the limbs that hung low in the yard.

  When I finished, I cut the branches into smaller sections and hauled them to the front yard, piling them next to the street, so that the city could pick them up.

  The cool breeze felt good, and I knew the cooler temperatures were the only thing keeping me from breaking out in a sweat.

  As I circled around the house into the backyard, I saw my mother standing near the back door, her brown hair tucked behind her ears. She looked happy as she gazed at me with bright eyes. Our entire family had blue eyes, but Jace and I had extremely dark hair like our father.

  “Dinner’s ready. Your dad and your brother have already gone inside to wash up.”

  “Good,” I said, walking toward her, “my stomach’s grumbling.”

  “Before you go inside,” she said, putting a hand on my arm, “I wanted to talk to you a minu
te.”

  It was an odd thing for my mother to say, so I halted abruptly, waiting for her to speak.

  “I know you’re grown now, and I don’t mean to butt into your life, but I was just wondering whether you’re serious about Amber.”

  I opened my mouth and closed it again.

  “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

  “No, it’s not that,” I said, assuring her that I didn’t mind her asking the question. “I’m serious about her. There’re just some things she’s trying to work through right now, and….” I’d had some concerns, but I hadn’t voiced them. Saying them out loud made them seem more real. “I guess part of me is worried whether she’ll move back to Alabama.”

  “I like her, James. A lot.”

  My mother was the only one who ever called me by my given name, and it was rare for even her. I knew she’d been thinking about Amber and me, and I knew she wanted grandchildren, even though she’d never pressure Jace or me about it. This was her way of letting me know she approved of Amber, of letting me know that she hoped we were serious.

  “I like her, too, Mom.”

  “Good.” She breathed out a sigh. “Let’s go eat some chicken n’ dumplin’s.”

  After washing up, I joined the rest of the family at the table, taking a seat next to Amber. The first dish I reached for was the dumplings, and I scooped a huge helping on my plate.

  “Good gravy,” Jace grumbled. “Why don’t you leave some for the rest of us?”

  I saw Amber smile, and in response, I added another ladleful. It was twice as many dumplings as I would normally start with, but I knew she’d worked hard on them. The least I could do was see that they were all eaten by the end of the meal.

  “Hand me your plate,” I instructed Amber, and I added a sizable scoop to her plate before handing it back.

  “Here.” I passed the large bowl to Jace and filled the rest of my plate with fried okra, green beans, and corn.

  When I finally got situated, I took a bite of the dumplings.

  “What do you think?” Amber asked meekly.

  “They’re delicious, and I could eat the whole bowl. I think you should be working in a restaurant, not a pharmacy,” I said. “You’re wasting your talents. Even Grumpy Grammy couldn’t find any faults with these.”

  Amber laughed at the reference. “I don’t know about that.”

  “Who?” Jace asked.

  “Grumpy Grammy,” Amber replied. “She’s the problem customer at the pharmacy. One of those people you can’t make happy, no matter how hard you try.”

  Jace grunted his understanding while he shoveled another spoonful of food into his mouth.

  “These are good,” my dad said, spearing a dumpling on his fork.

  “You did a nice job,” my mother told her. “Maybe you should’ve made more. They’re going pretty fast.”

  Happiness emanated from Amber like the warm glow of a fire, which pleased me greatly.

  After we ate, Amber helped my mother clean the kitchen while Jace and I helped our father finish up the yard work.

  My mother hugged us both as we got ready to leave.

  My dad settled into his recliner and waved with the remote clutched in his hand. “Thanks for helping out with the yard.” His gaze fell on Amber. “And for the dumplings. Maybe you’ll make me a pecan pie sometime. Robyn hates pecans, so she rarely uses them to cook.”

  “It’s true,” my mom said. “I do hate pecans.”

  “I could make one.” The excitement in Amber’s voice was evident, and I knew that she wanted to please my parents.

  We said our goodbyes and left.

  “You going back to my place?” I asked her.

  “I need to go home for a while. I promised Natalie that she could come over this afternoon and play with Gracie. Plus, I need to clean house and wash clothes.”

  “Do you want me to help you?”

  “That’s sweet of you, but I hate for you to be miserable with the whole allergy thing.”

  “All right then.” I pulled into her driveway and cut off the engine. “What do you want to do for your twenty-first birthday next week?”

  “Oh, that reminds me,” she said. “I want to write my parents a letter.”

  “Do you want me to take you to visit them for your birthday?”

  “Thanksgiving is just a week after my birthday. I’ll reassure them that I’ll see them then.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t mind driving you.”

  She nodded. “I promised myself that I would stay on my own until Thanksgiving. I actually feel like I’m getting stronger, like having this time has helped me learn that even though it’s scary, I can survive on my own, that no matter what life throws at me, I can deal with it.

  “I know that probably sounds silly, and I don’t know….” She exhaled, her attention concentrated on her hands in her lap. “Everything may change after I talk to my parents again. They may not agree with my choices. They may think that I’m not handling things the way I should be handling them.

  “And maybe I’m not, but I’m dealing with them the only way I can right now.”

  I rubbed her thigh. “It’s not silly. You’ve been through a lot, and you need to do what’s best for you. Maybe your parents will just be relieved to see you on Thanksgiving, to know that you needed some time to yourself and you’re better now because of it.”

  She shrugged her shoulder. “Maybe. I certainly hope so.” Her eyes found mine. “The truth is, Hawk, that I’m better because of you. You were right about taking things one day at a time.”

  “One is a powerful number.” I smoothed her hair over her shoulder. “Sometimes all we need is for someone to remind us that we’re going to be okay.”

  Studying my face, I thought she was going to say something else, but she just covered my hand with hers and smiled.

  “So…back to your birthday,” I reminded her.

  “Maybe we could get some dinner, go to Whiskey Nights for a drink. What do you think?”

  “I’ll do whatever makes you happy.”

  “Spending the evening with you would make me happy.”

  “You’re way too easy,” I teased her.

  “I think when you’ve lost someone that you’ve loved, you realize it’s the little things that mean the most. I don’t want you to spend a lot of money. I don’t need fancy presents. I just want to be with you.”

  I thought about my earlier conversation with my mother as I gripped the steering wheel and stared out the windshield. “Let me ask you something.”

  When she didn’t answer, I turned to look at her, and she sat patiently waiting for me to continue.

  “What do you plan on doing after Thanksgiving? Are you planning on moving back home with your parents?”

  Pursing her lips, she diverted her eyes. “I don’t plan on it.” She lifted her eyes back to mine. “But I know that’s what my mother will be pushing for.”

  “What if I told you that I wanted you to stay in Creekview?”

  “Do you mean that?” she asked, her grip tightening on my hand. “Because I don’t want you to tell me that if you don’t really mean it.”

  “Did you not hear me earlier when I told you that I loved you?” I asked, my mouth twitching into a grin.

  She nodded, a diffident expression crossing her features. “I did, but I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant.”

  “I don’t say those words lightly, Amber. I know you’re worried about what will happen on Thanksgiving.” I rubbed my palm across my jawline. “I’ve thought about it a lot myself, although probably for different reasons.

  “I want you to do what’s best for you, but I also want to know what’s going on between us from your perspective, whether you’re interested in a future with me.”

  “Yes,” she blurted with no hesitation. “I want us to stay together. Is that what you want?”

  “Damn straight.”

  She beamed, and the fact that I could tell that she wante
d a future with me, not only from her words but from her reaction, alleviated some of my insecurities.

  I had never been afraid of meeting her parents, but I felt better, knowing that Amber was as serious about me as I was about her. Based on our relationship, I’d expected as much, but to hear her confirm it, to see her reaction, solidified the fact that I wanted to take things a step further.

  Having never before experienced a connection like the one that I had with her, I couldn’t explain what had happened between us, but the one thing I did know was that whatever it was, it had spread like wildfire. And I intended to fan the flames.

  Chapter 17

  Fire Watch

  Hawk

  Over the next few days, Amber and I continued to grow closer. Now that we had both shed our uncertainty about the status of our relationship once she returned home for Thanksgiving, we could focus on each other.

  Her birthday fell on a Thursday, so we agreed that I would pick her up after work. Since I got off earlier than she did, I immediately went home and showered. I pulled on my favorite pair of jeans, a black long-sleeved dress shirt, and a casual pair of black boots. After spraying on cologne and making sure I had her present, I went to Boone’s Pharmacy to pick her up.

  She wore a huge smile as she climbed into the SUV.

  “Hey, babe,” I said as I leaned over and kissed her. “Happy birthday.”

  “Thank you.”

  I drove the short distance to her house and dropped her off, promising that I’d be back in forty-five minutes. Pulling into the florist, I went in to pick up the special order that I had requested.

  Amber had wanted to hang out at Whiskey Nights, and when I casually mentioned it to Mason, he wanted to do something more for her. Whiskey Nights had a private room in the rear of the dining room. A partition separated it, so that it could be divided into two smaller rooms if necessary. Mason had reserved one of the rooms for us, so that we could enjoy a private dinner before we joined our friends at the bar.