Rachel's Valentine Crush

by Angela Darling

  It was only May, but it already felt like summer. Brody and I were sitting at the bus stop outside of church, waiting for the bus. And waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Honestly, I didn’t want it to ever come. It was so nice to just hang out with him in the sunshine.

  Then he said, “It’s almost five twenty. I don’t think the five o’clock bus is coming. You want to walk?”

  We walked west down Linden Street. The sun had started to set, but it was really bright and shining right in my eyes. All I could see were these sparkling spots everywhere, but I tried to walk like normal. Brody was smart; he had sunglasses. Maybe he was already practicing to be a star.

  Suddenly Brody grabbed my backpack and yanked me over toward him. I stumbled a little, but he kept me from falling down. And I was thinking, WHAT is going on?

  “Sorry,” Brody said right away. “There was broken glass all over the sidewalk.”

  “Oh, thanks,” I replied. “I guess I didn’t see it. The sun is shining right in my eyes.”

  “Yeah, it’s shining in your hair, too,” he said. At least, I think that’s what he said. Afterward he got really quiet, and then he started singing while we walked. We couldn’t really talk while he was singing, but that was fine with me. It was enough just to walk beside him and listen to his amazing voice. I didn’t even care about the sun anymore.

  Rachel sighed as she put down her pen. And then suddenly she remembered some lines from “Secret Crush”:

  Walkin’ in the springtime

  You shine just like the sun

  And when I think about you

  Girl, I know that you’re the one

  We did that, Rachel slowly realized. Brody and I were walking in the springtime. And the sun . . .

  Could it be another clue?

  At this point Rachel knew better than to get too excited. But after focusing on certain lyrics from “Secret Crush”—the springtime walk, the shining sun, making music together—the photo of Brody and Tammy suddenly seemed less convincing.

  Rachel turned to her computer and clicked on the music icon. She pulled up Songs From My Heart and scrolled through until she reached “Secret Crush.” She clicked play and, turning the volume up as loud as she dared, started singing along with “Secret Crush” as she put her scrapbook away. She was ready to tackle her science homework now.

  In fact, Rachel was pretty sure she could tackle anything.

  chapter 9

  BEFORE HOMEROOM STARTED THE NEXT morning, Rachel and Taylor met up with some friends in the main hall. For the other girls, it was like they’d never left the Chocolate Bar. They immediately started talking about all the drama that went down after a paparazzi photographer sneaked into the Chocolate Bar and started snapping pictures of Brody. The photographer and Brody’s manager had gotten into a fight, and someone had even called the police! Rachel was astonished that the paparazzi had followed Brody to a party with his old friends from middle school. It made her feel kind of bad for Brody. But her friends thought it was really exciting. Some of them even hoped that they’d show up in the pictures that were posted on a bunch of gossip blogs.

  As her friends kept chatting, Rachel slipped away to go to her locker. It was really awkward to stand there with nothing to say, and hearing so much about the party made Rachel feel worse about missing it. But as Rachel approached her locker, she realized that someone was waiting for her. Someone with beautiful red hair and a perfect singing voice.

  Tammy. Again.

  What is she doing here? Rachel wondered, dreading the conversation she was about to have. Something must’ve happened at the party. Maybe Brody told her about his feelings . . . and now Tammy wants me to know that she’s his crush. That way, I’ll be less upset when he tells the whole world.

  “Hey, Tammy,” Rachel called out, trying to make her voice sound bright and cheerful. “What’s up?”

  When Tammy turned around, Rachel noticed right away that she looked a little pale. The sparkle in her eyes seemed dimmer, too.

  “Rachel, hi,” Tammy said slowly. “How’s it going? We missed you at the party last night.”

  “Yeah, I couldn’t make it,” Rachel said. “I heard it was fun, though. Did you have a good time with . . . Brody?”

  Tammy smiled sadly. “It was amazing to see him again. He really hasn’t changed at all, you know? I mean, his clothes are a little cooler, I guess, but inside he’s the same Brody.”

  It seemed like there was something else that Tammy wanted to say. Rachel waited patiently for her to continue.

  “Here’s the thing,” Tammy finally said. “So . . . I’m not Brody’s crush.”

  Rachel’s mouth almost dropped open in shock, but she quickly covered her surprise. “But—but I saw a picture of you guys. Brody looked really happy to see you.”

  Tammy shrugged. “I think he was really happy to see everyone,” she replied.

  “I don’t know—” Rachel began.

  “I do,” Tammy interrupted her. “You can just tell if somebody’s into you, you know? When you like someone, you want to see them. Be near them. Talk to them. And Brody—honestly, Rachel, he was kind of distracted. He kept glancing at the door . . . like he was looking for someone.”

  “He was probably just looking out for more photographers,” Rachel said. As more students arrived for school, she tried to keep her voice down so that no one would overhear their conversation.

  “You don’t have to do that, Rachel,” Tammy said. “I mean, it’s sweet and all, but I’m not going to pretend there’s still a chance that Brody likes me. Because last night, it was pretty obvious that he doesn’t.”

  “I’m sorry,” Rachel said quietly.

  Tammy moved her backpack to her other shoulder. “Yeah, well . . . I wish things were different, but . . . it is what it is. But I thought you should know. Anyway, I’d better go. Homeroom starts soon.”

  “See you, Tammy,” said Rachel.

  Tammy gave her a little wave, then started to walk away. But after a few feet, she turned around. “Since you were the only girl Brody invited who didn’t go to the party . . . maybe he was looking for you,” she said.

  Then Tammy disappeared into the crowded hallway, leaving a stunned Rachel behind. She stood in the hall for just a moment before she spun around and walked to the principal’s office as fast as she could.

  “I need to pick up my ticket for Brody’s concert,” Rachel said breathlessly to the secretary.

  After dinner that night Rachel waited for her dad in the living room. It seemed like it took him forever to get Robbie to sleep, but at last she heard his footsteps walking down the hall.

  “Dad,” she said right away. “Can I talk to you?”

  “Sure, kiddo,” her father replied as he sat in his favorite armchair. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s about tomorrow night,” Rachel began.

  “Right, there’s a dance at school, isn’t there?” Mr. Wilson said. “Do you and Taylor need a ride?”

  “Um, yeah, I mean, I do, but Taylor’s going with Shane—”

  “Shane? She’s going to the dance with a boy?” Mr. Wilson asked in surprise. “I can’t believe her parents would let her do that.”

  A million warning lights started flashing in Rachel’s mind, but she pressed on. The concert was in less than twenty-four hours. If she didn’t tell her dad about it now, she might not get another chance.

  “So the thing is,” she continued, “Brody Warner is giving a concert before the dance. Everyone in seventh and eighth grade got a free ticket, and—”

  “I don’t think so, Rachel,” Mr. Wilson interrupted her.

  “Dad. Wait,” Rachel said, trying to control the frustration in her voice. “You didn’t even let me finish—”

  “That’s because the answer is no,” Mr. Wilson replied calmly. “You’re too young to go to a rock concert, kiddo. Maybe in three or four years.”

  “But Dad! It’s a huge deal!” Rachel said, raising her voice.

  Grand
ma Nellie entered the living room with a worried look on her face. “Rachel, why don’t you tell your dad why it’s so important to you?” she suggested gently.

  Rachel took a deep breath. She hadn’t been planning to tell her dad about this, but if Grandma Nellie thought it was a good idea, maybe she should. The words rushed out of her mouth. “Brody’s new album has this song, ‘Secret Crush.’ And at the concert he’s going to tell everyone who she is. It’s been big news for weeks. In fact, there wasn’t even a dance at school until Brody’s concert was announced—”

  “Wait a minute,” Mr. Wilson said. “You’ve known about the concert for weeks and you’re just telling me now? Why didn’t you mention it the other day?”

  “Carl, hold on,” Grandma Nellie spoke up. “Rachel told me about the concert, and I think she should be allowed to go.”

  Mr. Wilson stared at his mother in disbelief. “Why on earth would you think that’s your decision to make?” he asked.

  “Because it was so obvious that you were going to say no without even thinking about it—” Rachel began.

  “So you chose to lie to me instead?” Mr. Wilson said. “That just proves my point that you’re too young for an event like this.”

  “You’re not letting me finish!” Rachel cried. “I do so much stuff around here and you never notice. It doesn’t even matter how much I do because you keep treating me like a five-year-old! I’m not too young; I’m really responsible, but you just don’t pay attention!”

  “I don’t appreciate that tone of voice,” snapped Mr. Wilson. “A responsible person wouldn’t keep things from her father or talk to him that way. As punishment, you’re not going to that dance tomorrow, Rachel, and you can forget about the concert.”

  “That’s not fair!” Rachel yelled. “I’m never allowed to do anything! I missed Brody’s pool party last summer, I missed Brody’s Chocolate Bar party, now I can miss Brody’s concert and the Valentine’s dance, even though every single one of my friends is allowed to go, and—”

  “That’s enough, Rachel!”

  “It’s not enough! Nothing I do is enough!” Rachel cried. “The concert is important to me, Dad! It really matters to me. Brody’s been gone for so long and he’s my friend. I miss him! And I’ve wondered and wondered and now I can finally find out who he likes—I can’t believe you’re going to make me miss it—”

  Mr. Wilson looked confused. Then a sudden understanding dawned on his face. “You don’t think you’re Brody’s crush, do you, Rachel?”

  All the blood rushed to Rachel’s face, burning her cheeks. Stinging tears sprung to her eyes as she realized what her father was really trying to say: Rachel, there’s no way a world-famous superstar could actually like you.

  “No,” Rachel said, her voice shaking. “Of course I don’t think that. You’re right, Dad. Brody Warner wouldn’t waste his time on an immature, irresponsible liar like me.”

  “Rachel—”

  But it was too late. Rachel was already running down the hall to her bedroom, where it took all her resolve to shut the door quietly instead of slamming it like she wanted to. She curled up on her bed and burst into tears, hiding her face in her pillow. Grandma Nellie knocked two separate times, but Rachel didn’t answer. There was nothing that Grandma Nellie could say or do that would make her feel better.

  When she was all cried out, Rachel took a deep, trembling breath and wiped her face. She didn’t know what to do next. She was afraid to leave her room because she knew her dad must be furious at her. She was too upset to try to explain to him that she hadn’t lied about the concert . . . and besides, it was really unfair that he had jumped to the conclusion that she had lied in the first place. The truth was, Rachel was really mad and frustrated and sad.

  She sat down at her computer and decided to check her e-mail.

  From: the_real_brody@brodywarner.com

  To: friends [list]

  Date: February 13

  Subject: Tomorrow night

  Guys, it was awesome to see you last night. I wish I had more time to hang out with each one of you. Let’s keep the party going, k? There’s a VIP lounge at the arena and I’ll be hanging out there before the concert. I put your names on the list, so if you can get to the arena early, stop by and chill. It’s on the second floor—use the far-left stairs. See you tomorrow!

  BRODY

  That’s great, Rachel thought. Another chance to see Brody . . . another chance to find out if Tammy was right . . . another fun thing my dad will make me miss.

  Rachel deleted the e-mail without bothering to read it again. Then she turned off the light and went to bed.

  chapter 10

  IN THE GRAY LIGHT OF Dawn Rachel’s eyes snapped open. For a brief, wonderful moment she remembered that it was Valentine’s Day, and in just a few more hours she would see Brody at the dance. The identity of Brody’s secret crush would be revealed, and all of Rachel’s questions would be answered at last.

  Then, like a nightmare, the memory of fighting with her dad came rushing back. A heavy sadness settled over Rachel as she realized there would be no concert for her. No dance. And no time with Brody. What a long, miserable day stretched out before her. And how would she get through the evening, knowing what she was missing? It had been hard enough to sit at home while the Chocolate Bar party was happening downtown. Tonight would be about a million times worse.

  Rachel walked across her bedroom and listened carefully at the door. The house was very quiet—so quiet that she was certain that everyone else was still asleep. Moving soundlessly, Rachel crept down the hall to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cold cereal so that she could eat breakfast by herself. Yes, it was Valentine’s Day, and that meant that Grandma Nellie would be making heart-shaped pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream—but Rachel didn’t think she could choke down a single bite. And she certainly couldn’t sit across the table from her father and act like nothing was wrong.

  Back in her room Rachel crawled into bed and forced herself to fall asleep again. It was better than the alternative: watching the clock and counting down the hours to the loneliest night of her life.

  The next time Rachel awoke, it was to a soft tap-tap-tap on her door. She rolled over in bed and waited for the knocking to stop. But when it didn’t, she finally got up.

  “Grandma Nellie, I just want to be alone right now,” Rachel said through the closed door.

  “Actually, Rachel, it’s me,” her dad’s voice answered. “Can I come in?”

  Rachel hesitated for a moment. She didn’t feel ready to face her dad, not after their terrible argument.

  Then he added, “Please?”

  Without speaking, Rachel opened the door. Mr. Wilson followed her into the room and sat down at the foot of the bed. Rachel perched on the edge of her desk and waited for him to speak.

  “It’s a funny thing, being a parent,” Mr. Wilson finally began. “It’s like having a dozen different pairs of eyes at the same time. Because when I look at you, Rachel, I don’t just see you as you are today. I see you when you were nine years old and you had your first solo in the choir, and the way your face glowed with happiness. I see you when you were five years old, on the first day of kindergarten—the way you skipped into the classroom without ever looking back. I see you when you were one, taking your very first steps away from me, and the big grin on your face as you realized, for the first time, what it felt like to be independent . . . for a moment, at least.

  “You’re growing up so fast, and sometimes it’s hard for me to remember that you’re not a little girl anymore. Because you’re always going to be my little girl—no matter how big you are.”

  Rachel stared at the floor. She wasn’t quite sure what to say.

  Mr. Wilson sighed. “You have to be patient with your old dad. I’m not very good at this. But I guess what I’m trying to say, Rachel, is that I’m sorry for last night. I’m not proud of the way I handled our argument.”

  “I’m sorry too,” Rachel said.
“I wasn’t trying to lie to you, Dad. I was always going to tell you about the concert. I just waited too long, I think. Because I guess part of me always knew that you were going to say no, so until I asked, I could at least pretend that there was still a chance.”

  “But I don’t want to be the dad who always says no,” Mr. Wilson replied. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep things from me. And most of all, I’m disappointed in myself for hurting your feelings. About—” Mr. Wilson paused to clear his throat, “about Brody—please understand where my reaction came from. I was honestly so surprised to realize that my sweet little girl is old enough to inspire love songs. But of course you are. And really, what’s not to love?”

  For the first time all day, Rachel smiled a little.

  “I want you to go to the concert and the dance tonight, Rachel,” Mr. Wilson said. “Because I know that you’re old enough, and smart enough, to make good decisions—and to take care of yourself. After all, look at how much you do to take care of everyone else around here . . . every day.”

  Rachel could hardly believe her ears. “Seriously?” she squealed. “Do you mean it, Dad?”

  “I do,” he replied. “I love you, Rachel. And I hope that you have a wonderful time tonight.”

  Rachel gave her dad a huge hug and kissed him on the cheek. Then she immediately started texting Taylor. The concert started in less than four hours—and Rachel needed her best friend more than ever!

  As soon as she heard that Rachel was allowed to go to the concert, Taylor texted Shane that she would meet him in the VIP lounge. Then she rushed over to Rachel’s house and spent the entire afternoon helping her get ready. When Taylor was done, Rachel felt prettier than ever. Her nails were painted the same shade of gold as the sparkly necklace she had borrowed from Taylor, and her crimson top made her cheeks look even rosier than usual. When Mr. Wilson saw Rachel all dressed up for the concert, his eyes got so wide that for a moment, Rachel worried that he was about to change his mind.