Beyond Intent

by Karice Bolton

  “You know it, girl.” Brandy smiled and reached for Aaron’s hand.

  We did it. Now I just had to tell my parents.

  A whirlwind of activity kept me spinning for the next several days. Between working at the bakery, taking conference calls, and scrubbing every part of the house that dared wink at me, Monday rolled in with a bang. The appointment with Stanley Young wasn’t until later in the afternoon. Felicia had done as much as she could, given the short time frame, and a lot of the things we would be covering today with Stanley would be new.

  Jason chose to go into the shop, and I was already at the Bakery. I needed the distraction or I’d be worrying myself to death, thinking that they wouldn’t like us. It was the oddest thing to have every part of our lives analyzed and picked apart by complete strangers who knew nothing about us other than what would fit on a form. I didn’t like it.

  I was in the back of the bakery, cleaning the cookie sheets, when Emily gave me a big wave and smile. “Today’s the appointment. How are you doing?”

  “I’m freaking out. I’m worried I’m going to blow it before anything even happens.”

  “Don’t you think like that. If they have a problem with you, they’re crazy.”

  “Yeah. But I don’t think I can tell them that.” I smiled and turned the steaming, hot water off at the faucet from the wall. “And you’ll be pleased to know that I made an appointment for next Friday.”

  “As in this Friday?”

  I shook my head. “The one after. The doctor was booked solid.”

  “Who are you seeing?” she asked.

  I laughed. “My general practitioner, MOM. Is that okay with you?”

  “I guess it’ll have to do.” She sighed. “What made you finally do it?”

  “Jason mentioned I looked a little tired.”

  Emily laughed. “For weeks I’ve been worrying and nagging you. He mentions you look tired and you make an appointment?”

  “I don’t want him to think he’s going out with the Bride of Frankenstein.” I smiled.

  “Even on your worst day, you’re gorgeous,” Emily assured. “If we could all be so lucky.”

  The bell signaled a new customer, and we both made our way out to the bakery. A family with two rowdy kids had taken over the front, and a tiny bit of apprehension arose in my belly. Would I be able to handle everything that came along with Katie? I shook the thought away and greeted the man who was staring intently at the case.

  “We’re going camping on the island, and my wife told me we had to come here,” the husband told me. “Best of Washington or something?”

  I snapped to attention. Had Gabby’s Goodies made the list? I’d have to check on that. If it did that would be out of this world.

  “Well, thank you. That’s very exciting news. I didn’t even know that,” I laughed.

  “I heard the lemon shortcake was to die for,” the wife said. Her eyes were bright with excitement.

  “That’s one of my favorites,” Emily agreed.

  “We’ll take two lemon shortcakes, a dozen raspberry, chocolate chip cookies, and four croissants,” the husband said, taking his wallet out of his back pocket. His red hair was clipped short, his blue eyes tired. I wondered if that’s what would happen to Jason once Katie arrived.

  “Coming up,” Emily said, as she began packaging all of the baked goods. I rang up the family’s order and swiped his debit card as the woman tried to talk one of her kids off the chair. He was standing tall, and from his vantage point, I was sure the jump looked a lot fiercer than it actually was. The little boy threatened to jump off the chair in a very dramatic expression of self-sacrifice, if his mom didn’t help him down. She wrangled the little boy under her one arm and plunked him on the floor. The little boy looked very relieved.

  Emily handed the husband everything and the family marched out of the bakery.

  “Are you ready for that?” Emily asked, eyeing the expression on my face.

  “I think so. Plus, we’re only going to have one.”

  Emily laughed and shook her head.

  One of the locals came in next and I glanced at the clock. It was about time to get on the ferry and meet Jason over at the CPS building. Just the thought created a flutter of nerves. I didn’t know what to expect, and I didn’t feel prepared in any way, which had me concerned.

  I untied my apron as I walked to the backroom. Hanging it on the wall, I took a deep breath and said a quick prayer to make it through whatever questions the caseworker threw at us. I picked up a box of pastries that I’d already set aside for Stanley. I didn’t think it counted as a bribe, but I wasn’t about to show up empty-handed. I wasn’t that charming.

  I waved at Emily as she helped the line of customers that had suddenly appeared. I pushed aside the guilt and walked through the door. Kayla would appear in the next thirty minutes to help out. Now wasn’t the time to worry about it.

  Jason texted as I slid into the Jeep.

  Drive carefully and quit worrying. I can feel it all the way across the Sound. You’re perfect the way you are.

  I laughed and shot him a quick reply.

  You’re really biased and I thank you for that. ;)

  The ferry ride was routine and as soon as my tires hit the pavement on the other side of the water, I felt queasy. It was amazing how much was possibly riding on this one meeting with Stanley. I drove in silence, no radio, only my thoughts to keep me company. I was trying to maintain calmness and control.

  When I pulled into the parking lot, I spotted Jason parking his bike and removing his helmet. He looked so steady and ready to take on whatever was inside that building. I parked next to him and glanced at my makeup and hair in the mirror before I slid out of the Jeep.

  “Hey, beautiful,” Jason said, walking swiftly around the Jeep. When he reached me, his hand slid along my waist as he pulled me into him, and I melted in his arms. The influence this man had over me never failed.

  Stubble lined Jason’s jaw, and his amber eyes stayed on mine. “You made it right on time. He angled my chin up so our lips almost touched and a dart of worry shot through me.

  “What if they can see us from the building?” I whispered, as if they could also hear us.

  Jason grinned and placed a soft, innocent kiss on my mouth before taking a step back.

  “Then I guess they’ll know Katie will be going to a loving home.” He smiled, slipping his hand into mine. “Relax. You’re going to do amazing.”

  We walked to the gloomy office building that towered over the parking lot. The spindly trees that had been planted at the corners of the building did little to help soften the architecture. I worried that if the building appeared this threatening, what would the people inside be like? So far with all of Stanley’s rules and regulations, I wasn’t impressed.

  Jason held the door for me as I walked in, our hands still interlocked. A large reception desk sat in front of us with a stern, young woman sitting behind it. Her piercing hazel eyes locked onto us and didn’t let go as we walked forward. I wasn’t sure if her lips even knew how to smile. When we reached the desk, she pointed at a sheet of paper that was attached to a clipboard.

  “Please fill this out.” Her glasses kept sliding down her slender nose, and she was continually pushing them back up as she glared at us.

  Jason let go of my hand and wrote our names down, along with who it was we planned on visiting.

  She spun the clipboard around and pursed her lips together, shaking her head.

  “He’s out sick today,” she said.

  Anger exploded through my body. So now what? No one had called us, and we’d been waiting long enough. My head pounded as I revved up to let the receptionist have it. It was like my mama bear instincts kicked in, and I was ready to come clawing, which was so unlike me.

  “Sally Trisor will be your contact today,” she said, handing us visitor badges.

  I felt the heat in my cheeks begin to dissipate immediately as I took a badge and clipped it on m
y shirt.

  “Have a seat and she’ll be out shortly.”

  Jason started chuckling quietly as we walked to the seating area. “The tips of your ears are still bright red,” he whispered.

  I laughed and rubbed them hoping to make the blood go away. There were certain things that always gave me away.

  I picked up a decorating magazine and began thumbing through it to calm down.

  “You might want to play it a little cooler when we talk to Sally,” he laughed. “I always forget how feisty you are.”

  I continued looking at beach cottages and worked on my breathing, trying not to laugh at the outburst that never came to be. Not the best start to proving how sane I was.

  “Mr. Baines, Miss Sullivan?” A woman’s voice asked.

  I looked up to see a pleasant woman wearing a navy, pencil skirt and ivory blouse, walking over to us. I guessed her to be in her forties. With strawberry blond hair and bright blue eyes she looked to be far more pleasant than Stanley ever was. She shook my hand and then Jason’s. “I’m Sally. So sorry Stanley couldn’t make it today.”

  “Thank you so much for taking his appointments,” I said.

  “My pleasure.” She handed each of us a card. I glanced at her title and relief flooded through me. She was Stanley’s boss, the director of the department. Jason caught my smile and winked at me once Sally gestured us toward an elevator.

  “I was looking over Katie’s file. Tragic,” she said. “I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Baines.”

  “Please, call me Jason,” he replied. “Thank you. It was quite a shock, but not quite as much as finding out I had a niece.”

  The elevator opened onto a floor filled with tiny, grey cubicles and I immediately had flashbacks to my brief stint in the cheese world. There must not be that many cubicle manufacturers. The designs really lacked creativity.

  “We’ll be in here,” Sally said, ushering us to a large conference room. “Would either of you care for coffee or tea?”

  “Shoot!” I said.

  “Everything okay?” he asked, thrown off by my sudden outburst.

  “I forgot the pastries in the Jeep.”

  Sally started laughing, and Jason shook his head as we took a seat.

  “She’s the owner of Gabby’s Goodies,” Jason attempted to clarify.

  “Oh, wow. I just read about your bakery in the Best Of section.” She smiled. “You know, the schedule is clear after our meeting so there’s no rush if you’d like to go get them.”

  I started laughing and felt immediately at ease with Sally.

  “I’ll be right back,” Jason said, standing up.

  “I’ll let the front desk know to let you return,” she said, calling down to reception.

  Jason threw me a grateful glance as he left the conference room, and I couldn’t wait to get down to business.

  Sally hung up the phone and opened the folder.

  “This little girl seems very special,” Sally said.

  My eyes fell onto a photograph in the folder.

  “Is that her?” I whispered.

  Sally nodded, her brow furrowing. “Did Stanley not show you this?” she asked. Her fingertips clasped the edge of the photo and glided it over to me.

  “No. We don’t know anything about her, other than she’s Jason’s niece,” I confirmed, as she slid the picture in front of me. I looked down at the little girl and my breath caught. She looked exactly like Jason. Regardless of who Bethany’s father was, Jason’s mother’s traits came through strong.

  “Wow,” I whispered. “What a resemblance.”

  “I thought you knew,” Sally said.

  I shook my head. “No idea.”

  “And he hasn’t shared any of her history with you, things she likes to do, reports from her foster parents?” she asked, her displeasure apparent.

  “No. He wouldn’t tell us anything over the phone. We actually got in touch with Felicia in Alabama and found out as much as we could. Stanley wanted to wait until today’s appointment.”

  “I apologize on behalf of him and the agency. That’s not how we work.” She stood up and picked up the file. “I assumed you had this information already. Let me go make copies.”

  “Thank you.” I watched her walk away, surprised at how friendly and helpful she was. The elevator across the way opened and Jason strode out of it, carrying the pastries. I glanced down at the picture, wondering what his reaction was going to be.

  Jason entered the room and glanced around. “You scare her off already?”

  I laughed and shook my head, motioning for him to come sit next to me. He slid the box of pastries onto the conference table and sat down.

  “She went to make copies of Katie’s files. She was surprised Stanley hadn’t given us any information to review.” I looked down at the photograph and Jason’s gaze followed mine.

  He reached his hand out and grabbed the photo. A slight tremble was visible as he held the picture closer.

  “She’s beautiful. Looks just like her mother,” he whispered, putting the photograph back on the table.

  No. She looks so much like you…

  “There is a strong family resemblance. She’s such a cute little girl, brown ringlets and soft brown eyes…”

  Jason took in a deep breath. “It seems so real now.”

  I nodded. “It does.”

  Sally came back into the conference room and caught Jason’s expression. “Amazing resemblance between Katie and you, wouldn’t you agree?”

  Jason grinned and nodded, tapping the table with his hands. “There really is.”

  “Here are the pastries,” I pushed the box toward Sally as she sat down.

  “Excellent,” she said, opening the box. “The smell is glorious.”

  I’d packed lemon shortcake, brownies, and strudel cookies. I could smell the sweetness from here.

  Sally handed us each a stack of papers. “Again, I apologize for not having these to you sooner.”

  I glanced at the top page where scribbles describing Katie’s behavior were notated. I scanned through a few other pages and caught how many homes she’d been in.

  “If her behavior is as amazing as all the foster homes report, then why was she moved so many times? It looks like she’s been in five homes…”

  Sally pursed her lips into a thin line. “It looks like two of the homes were afraid of becoming too attached so they moved her along. Two of them were short-term homes…”

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “When a child is either first placed in a home or is in between homes, we have foster parents who specialize in stays that last six weeks or less. It looks like Katie ended up in that type twice.”

  Jason nodded, and I saw a muscle in his jaw twitch.

  “Having a family member step forward will quite possibly change the course of this little girl’s life,” Sally said.

  I glanced at Jason, whose expression began to soften again.

  “Looking over your file, I think Stanley was really taking a long course of action here. I spoke with Felicia this morning, and I think we can expedite everything, if this is something you’d like to do.”

  Jason and I nodded and I felt his hand rest on my knee.

  “We will need to do two separate interviews. Because you’re not married, we will need to qualify you both independently. If you ever separate, you’ll both be qualified to take on foster children if we do it this way.”

  Her statement was so matter of fact it was like an ax to the chest.

  “If you’d like we can actually go through the interviews this afternoon. I’ve asked one of our caseworker’s to keep their schedule clear in case you’re interested. That would still leave the house check, but I’m sure we can fit that in quickly. I’ll come out there if need be.”

  I was in utter shock at the kindness this woman was showing us, and I thought just how lucky we were that Stanley Young caught the flu. Sometimes, things really were meant to be. I glanced around the confere
nce room and finally allowed myself to notice the décor. One entire wall was covered in drawings done by children, and another with signs filled with positive affirmations. Maybe it wasn’t such a threatening building after all.

  “I think we’d like to go ahead with the interviews today,” Jason said, looking at me.

  I nodded in agreement and smiled.

  Sally took a bite of a lemon shortcake and closed her eyes. That was always a good sign.

  “This is phenomenal. I do hope you win the Best Of.” She smiled.

  I really needed to look this up.

  “I feel it’s only fair that I warn you that no matter how hard you think this is going to be with Katie, it’s going to be ten times worse.”

  My breath hitched at her statement and Jason squeezed my hand. “Even on the best days, things can feel relentless. Many of these children have never been in a stable home and suddenly being thrust into one can demand an entirely new set of skills that often these children don’t have yet. It takes patience, love, and empathy and even with all of that it can still be too much for many foster parents. I don’t want to candy coat what you’re getting into. There’s a real chance your relationship may not survive.”

  My blood turned icy as this woman continued. Jason’s hand left my knee and my emotions got the best of me. Loneliness and isolation began to creep in as I thought about what this woman was telling us.

  “We have a very strong relationship, but I do understand where you’re coming from, and I appreciate the honesty, quite frankly,” Jason said.

  His words did little to soothe my worry.

  “We have lots of resources that will be at your disposal, but you must reach out to use them. Every situation is different so we won’t know what you might need, as far as resources, until Katie’s in your home.”

  I nodded, unsure of what I was supposed to do or say.

  “Now if you’re ready, we can begin the interviews,” she said.

  I didn’t think I’d ever be ready, but isn’t that what parenthood was all about?