Paint It Black

by Michelle Perry

  Finally it dawned at me. I gaped at him. “Your fight … it was over me?”

  Cougar shot me a fierce look. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. Not by Tucker, not by anyone.”

  For a moment, I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Then I laughed. The whole situation was so crazy. “But surely Tucker told you we weren’t seeing each other …?”

  Cougar gave me a sheepish grin. “After I called him what I did, he wasn’t telling me much of anything.”

  Again, he left me speechless.

  “Okay,” Tori said behind me, and I jumped.

  “See you around seven.” Cougar kissed my forehead and ruffled Tori’s hair before reentering Angel’s room.

  I don’t know how long I stood there, staring after him, before Tori coughed.

  “Ready?” she asked, and I nodded.

  Tori kept me entertained all the way to the courthouse. She was a great kid, possessing the same innate goodness and goofy sense of humor as her brother. I’d felt an instant connection to her and hoped Abby would, too. Abby had never really stayed with anyone besides Elizabeth, and I wasn’t sure how she’d react to the babysitting plan.

  My worries proved unfounded. Abby seemed thrilled at the prospect of spending the evening with the bubbly teenager. We stopped by the grocery store to pick up some snacks, and Tori laughed when I tossed a couple boxes of cheap pantyhose in the cart.

  “What?” I asked, checking to make sure I’d gotten the right size.

  “No offense,” she said, her dark eyes twinkling. “But that’s the same brand Mom wears.”

  I made a face, and Abby giggled. “So?”

  “So you’re supposed to be this cool spy—”

  I snorted. “Honey, I am not a spy.”

  “Undercover agent. Whatever. Either way, it’s gotta rank more glamour than dollar pantyhose.”

  “Tori, I think you have this huge misconception of what my job is like,” I said, but when I got to thinking about it, she was probably right. My character for tonight would never wear $1 pantyhose. “Okay,” I said, and tossed a box of Fruit Loops into the cart. “We’ll stop by the mall.”

  “Yay!” Abby cheered, and clapped her hands.

  We made it home an hour and a half later, after making stops at Frederick’s, Blockbuster, and KB Toys. I put the groceries away and left the girls coloring at the kitchen table while I went to get dressed.

  When I threw open my closet door, I was relieved that—unlike the Kimberly Lausens of the world—I didn’t have to spend a lot of time debating what I was going to wear. My “fancy” wardrobe consisted of two court dresses, a silver floor-length gown, and a basic black number that made most of its appearances at the funeral home. The slinky silver gown was a present from Grady, something to wear to his firm’s Christmas ball last year. I figured it was shimmery and high-end enough to pass muster at Paradis.

  The answering-machine light blinked furiously at me, so I pressed the button to listen to my messages while I applied some makeup. Two hang-ups and three messages from Grady. The first two were pleading; the third, pissed. I erased them and sat on the edge of the bed to dig out my address book.

  On the second trip through my haphazard filing system, I found Jimmy Milano’s number. Jimmy was a divorce lawyer from the Bronx who looked like a young Alan Alda. We’d officially met five years ago, though I’d seen him many times at the courthouse before that. He was standing in the pouring rain beside a Lexus with a raised hood. When he kicked the fender and pitched his cell phone over the Betsy Ross Bridge, I took pity on him and offered him a ride. We both had court, so it wasn’t out of my way, but he was so grateful he hung around after his case to buy my lunch. I liked his wry humor and threw business his way whenever I could. Now he was going to get mine.

  “Milano,” he answered grumpily after the third ring.

  “Hey, Milano. This is Denise Bramhall.”

  His voice brightened instantly. “Necie! Hey, hon, what’s up?”

  I peered into the mirror and winced when I plucked a stray eyebrow. “Got some business for you. How much you charging these days?”

  “All I can get away with. What’s the matter, that boss of yours gone through another blonde?”

  “Nope, this one’s me.”

  “Ah, sweetie…I knew you were too good to be married to a lawyer. What did the schmuck do?”

  “Irreconcilable differences. I’m a Virgo, and he’s an asshole.”

  Jimmy laughed.

  “But seriously, I want the house and I want the kid.”

  “How old’s your kid now?” he asked.

  “Six.”

  “Hmm.” I heard ruffling pages. “Okay, what grounds?”

  “He drinks too much, he’s been physically abusive, and he’s cheated on me, but I’m willing to keep that off the record if he agrees to alcohol counseling and supervised visitation until I’m sure he won’t drink around her.”

  “Sounds fair to me. He won’t want that to go public. Do you have any proof?”

  “I’ve got videotape of the cheating and witnesses who saw him try to choke me at the hospital.”

  Milano whistled the chorus from “We’re in the Money.”

  I smiled. “All kidding aside, how much are you going to need up front? I just spent all my money on pantyhose.”

  “For you, doll, no up-front charges. When the dust settles, it’ll work out to the usual … I get half, his lawyer gets half.”

  I laughed. “That’s what I figured. Why is divorce so expensive?”

  “Because, my love, it is worth it. Drop by my office in the morning and I’ll get this thing rolling.”

  I hung up and went in the bathroom to finish my makeup. In the bottom of my bag, I found a couple of little red capsules. I smiled and stuck one in my purse.

  Cougar and Mrs. Angelino arrived promptly at seven. Cougar stayed in the car, so I hurriedly showed Mrs. Angelino the list of emergency numbers and grabbed my coat. Abby was so busy playing Monopoly with Tori that she barely glanced up when I kissed her good-bye.

  It was raining. So much for the time I’d spent on my hair. Cougar reached across to open the door for me. I slid into the seat and inhaled the masculine scent of leather and cherry air freshener. Cougar was more gorgeous than ever in his black suit. I shivered a little and tried not to stare.

  “You cold?” he asked, and shoved a stick of Dentyne in his mouth.

  As he offered me the pack, I shook my head no, but he turned up the heat anyway. Then he slung his arm across the back of the seat and backed out of my driveway.

  I didn’t recall ever feeling this tense before an assignment. Cougar’s lack of conversation wasn’t helping any. The only sounds were the swish of the windshield wipers and the snap of his gum. I turned down the heat.

  “Thank you,” he said, and tugged at his collar.

  We pulled up at Paradis fifteen minutes later, and he handed the valet the keys. Inside, he helped me out of my coat, and my face heated when he scanned me from head to toe.

  “You look beautiful,” he murmured. “Shall we?” He held out his arm and I took it, leaning into him as we approached the maître d’. Cougar nudged me.

  Through the glassed-in front, I spotted Massey. Cougar slipped the maître d’ a bill to give us a table by the bar. He showed us to a table directly behind Massey.

  “I got it,” Cougar said when the waiter reached to pull out my chair. Cougar kissed my bare shoulder as I sat, sending a spark racing through me.

  After the waiter took our wine order, Cougar stood. “Let’s dance,” he said.

  I smiled. “Nobody else is dancing.”

  He winked and gave me one of those sexy half smiles. “Then we’ll get it started.”

  “In a minute,” I said. “I need to, ah, freshen up. I’ll be right back.”

  “Here?” Cougar said, loudly and angrily enough to draw a glance from Massey. “Denise, you said this weekend was for us. Can’t you even make it a whole day without
that shit?”

  “Shhh.” I pressed a finger to his lips, then kissed his cheek. “Don’t be like that. It’s only a little pick-me-up. Don’t make a big deal about it.”

  I headed toward the bathroom. At the door, I looked back at Cougar. He’d stood, jamming his hands in his pockets. He signaled the bartender with a jerk of his head and took the bar stool next to Massey.

  I killed nearly fifteen minutes in the bathroom, giving Cougar time to work. While I waited, I fished out the red capsule and shoved it up my nose. The special effects would be a new one on Cougar. I grinned when I imagined his reaction. Finally, I decided enough time had passed. I squirted a couple drops of Visine in each eye to make them all bright and shiny, then went back to the bar.

  Cougar had his head down, deep in conversation with Massey. I fixed on my most dazzling smile and tapped Cougar’s shoulder. He gave me a wary glance.

  “Hey, baby.” I sniffed loudly and swiped at my nose. “I’m ready for that dance now.”

  Cougar leaned back and sighed. Gesturing at Massey, he said, “Honey, this is Jack. Jack, this is my wife, Denise.”

  “Hey!” I said. “Nice to meet you, Jack. Are you from Philadelphia? It’s a fantastic city. Jason and I are having a blast here, aren’t we, honey?” I spoke rapidly and shifted from foot to foot like a hyperactive kid. I’d seen enough junkies in my career that I had a pretty good handle on their mannerisms. I wiggled my nose like Samantha on Bewitched, and Massey gave me a sad smile.

  “A pleasure, my dear. No, I’m not from Philadelphia, but I agree. It’s a lovely city.”

  Cougar stood and took my elbow, a resigned look on his face. “Let’s go, honey. Leave the man to his drink. The waiter’s come by twice to take our order. Any idea what you want yet?”

  “You know, I’m not really hungry. I want to dance.”

  Cougar frowned. “I’m not in the mood anymore.”

  “Oh, please.” I slid in next to him and brushed a tiny kiss on his neck. “Please, for me. Just one little dance?”

  Cougar sighed. “Okay.” He nodded at Massey. “Nice to meet you, man.”

  Massey smiled and lifted his glass. Cougar whirled me away. I reached up to wind a lock of his hair around my finger. Leaning close to his ear, I whispered, “How’s it going?”

  Cougar waited until his back was to Massey to reply, “Pretty good. He’s asking a lot of questions.” He smiled. “You’re so good at this it’s scary.”

  I stroked his face and kept my face lowered so Massey couldn’t read my lips. “What do you need me to do now?”

  Cougar pulled me a little closer. I tried to ignore how nice his chest felt, hard and warm beneath the crisp white shirt. “We need to fight,” he said. “Leave me here.”

  “Okay.” I rested my cheek on his shoulder. “Get ready for some special effects.”

  With Cougar’s big body shielding me from Massey, I pressed the side of my nose and felt the capsule break. I smiled up at Cougar and watched the shock register in his eyes as the fake blood trickled out of my nostril.

  “Baby, you’re … bleeding,” he said, and the corner of his mouth twitched. He ran to the bar and yelled at the bartender to get him some napkins. I touched the liquid under my nose, then pulled my hand away, staring at my red-slicked fingers in bewilderment.

  “Is she okay?” Massey asked while Cougar shoved a fistful of napkins at me.

  “No,” Cougar snapped, and grabbed my arm. He jerked me to the side, but made sure we were still within Massey’s earshot. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  “Can’t do what?” I reached for his arm, and he brushed my hand away. I wadded the tissues up and pressed them to my nose. “Can’t do what, Jason?”

  He balled his fists and jammed them in his pockets. “This. I can’t do this. It’s over. If you won’t get help, I want a divorce.”

  Even though we were acting, the words struck me. The tears that welled in my eyes were real. “Jason … no.”

  “I love you too much to watch you kill yourself.” He paused, then grabbed my shoulders. “Say you’ll leave with me tonight. We’ll fly back to Houston. Your daddy will help us.”

  I pushed him away. “Don’t involve my father. I don’t need help. You’re overreacting, as usual.”

  “Overreacting? Can’t you see this stuff is eating you alive?”

  The waiter approached us. “Sir … madam … is there a problem?”

  “No!” I yelled. Shooting Cougar a pointed look, I said, “I’m going back to the hotel. Are you coming?”

  He blinked and stared at his shoes. “No.”

  I stalked out of the restaurant. Outside, it was pouring. The cold, gray rain pelted my bare shoulders and I wished I’d grabbed my coat. I peered in the window when I passed. Massey was staring openly, but I didn’t see Cougar anywhere. Not seeing the valet, I lifted my arm to hail a cab and someone grabbed my shoulder. Cougar spun me around.

  “What are you—” Before I could process what was happening, he kissed me.

  His hot, demanding mouth was a sharp contrast to the icy rain beating against my back. Never, not in seven years of marriage, not in my entire life, had I been kissed like that. By the time he released me, I felt as liquid as the winter rain running off the sidewalk.

  We stared at each other. Cougar wiped a hand down his face, then flagged a cab. He opened the door, handed the cabbie some money, and helped me inside.

  “I’ll call you,” he said, then shut the door. He slapped the roof of the cab and we pulled away from the curb.

  I sagged against the ripped vinyl seat and pressed a trembling hand to my lips. Like trying to slip back into a dream from which I didn’t want to awaken, I closed my eyes and tried to recapture the sensation of being in his arms, of feeling his heart thundering beneath my palm as he electrified me with that kiss. Damn it, it wasn’t fair. I’d never felt passion like that, and the moment had been so fleeting, over before my stunned brain could process what was happening.

  The heat that enveloped me slowly ebbed. I shivered and stared sightlessly out a window fogged by my breath. A sense of loss fell over me when I remembered it was only make-believe.

  How could a kiss like that have meant nothing?

  Cougar had flirted with me in the past, but so had Angel and Tucker. It was harmless, a way to pass the time and blow off steam on a stressful job. They had even flirted with Linda. But things had felt different between Cougar and me lately. More intense, more personal. What would Cougar do when he found out I was getting divorced? What would I do if he wanted to take our flirtation further? Of course, I wanted him. I wasn’t too deep in denial to admit that. But I wasn’t sure if I could handle sex without love, though I’d loved Grady at one time and look how that had turned out. Besides, Cougar was a co-worker—

  Dear God, what was I thinking?

  I opened my eyes and found the cabbie staring at me in the rearview mirror. “You okay, miss?”

  No. I wasn’t anywhere near okay. My life was out of control. This situation with Grady was messing with my head. I shouldn’t be entertaining thoughts like this— about Cougar of all people. The man who was dating Miss Almost New Jersey.

  “Lover’s quarrel?” he asked, and I blinked.

  “Huh?”

  He gave me a knowing smile. “It’ll be okay. I see lots of folks in this line of work. That guy back there’s crazy about you. I bet the phone will be ringing when you walk in the door.”

  Well, it was, but it wasn’t Cougar on the other end. I stared down at my mother-in-law’s number on the caller ID and waited for the answering machine to pick up.

  “Denise, it’s me—” Elizabeth’s cool voice began, and I picked up the receiver.

  “Hold on a sec.” I removed my shoes and accepted a towel from Mrs. Angelino. “Okay. What can I do for you, Elizabeth?”

  “I’m calling about the wedding.”

  “Wedding?” I paused toweling my hair.

  “My niece … in Baltimore? I asked you
a month ago if Abby could go with me.”

  “Oh, yeah.” I barely remembered the conversation. “When is it again?”

  I caught the trace of exasperation in Elizabeth’s voice. “Tomorrow night. Are you still going to let her go? We’ll probably stay at my sister’s overnight.”

  “She can go if she wants to. I don’t have a problem with it.”

  “I spoke with her earlier. She wants to go, but I told her we’d have to see what you said.”

  “Elizabeth, what happens between Grady and me doesn’t have to affect your relationship with Abby. I know you love her. She loves you. I don’t intend to keep her from you.”

  “Well, I didn’t think you would, but then I called this evening and found out you’d left her with strangers. Is there some reason you didn’t ask me to babysit?”

  I bristled at her tone, but lowered my voice so Tori and Mrs. Angelino wouldn’t hear. “They’re not strangers to me. I tried to call you first, but I couldn’t reach you.” I peeked in at Abby, who was sleeping soundly. “Now, what time do you want to pick her up tomorrow?”

  “Four.”

  “Fine. I’ll have her ready.” I hung up and went to talk to Mrs. Angelino and Tori. They assured me all had gone well. Tori tried to refuse her pay, but I insisted and asked them if they wanted to spend the night, since it was so late. After I got Mrs. Angelino settled in the guest room and Tori on the couch, I went upstairs to grab a shower. Afterward, I pulled on a robe and flopped across the bed to paint my fingernails.

  When the phone rang, I glanced at the caller ID and snatched it up. “Hey, you.”

  “And the Academy Award goes to …” Cougar laughed. “You were amazing! Where did you get the fake blood?”

  “Abby was a vampire last Halloween. I saw the capsules in my makeup bag and thought I’d get creative.”

  “It worked. How could Massey not buy that? You even had me freaked out.”

  I thought about the kiss. I wanted to ask him about it, but I didn’t know what to say.

  “What did Massey do?”

  “He mentioned his wife and said that maybe he could help us. He told me about the drug. I’m supposed to meet him day after tomorrow.”