Paint It Black

by Michelle Perry

I leaned back against the pillows. “Doesn’t it make you a little sad, that this time we’re busting someone who’s actually trying to help people?”

  “A dealer’s a dealer, whether he’s selling drugs or the cure. You gotta realize … he’s killing people, too.”

  I blew on my nails. “People who are already killing themselves.”

  “That doesn’t make it okay.”

  “I know it doesn’t, but don’t you feel somewhat sorry for him?”

  “Sure. Your performance this evening brought that home for me. I thought about you, and how it would kill me to watch someone I love destroy herself like that.”

  We lapsed into silence. I felt as nervous as a teenager talking to the captain of the football team and cursed myself for reading more into his words than he intended. But that was the second time tonight I’d heard him mention “love” and me in the same sentence. Make-believe or not, it made me jumpy. I smeared my thumb polish twice, and finally put the nail polish away.

  Cougar cleared his throat. “I guess I’d better let you—oh, wait! I knew there was something else I was supposed to tell you. I ran into Bill’s wife at the station. She’s throwing Bill a surprise birthday party tomorrow night at the Sizzler and wanted me to pass the word.”

  I laughed. “He’ll kill her.” Bill didn’t like surprises, but maybe his latest wife hadn’t figured that out yet.

  “Yeah, I know, but hey, it’s free food, and it’s not Fat Daddy’s.”

  “Hey, you admitted it was good.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, it was good. That whole night was pretty good.”

  There he went again. My cheeks burned when I remembered our snowball fight. Maybe I’d have the snow dream again. That was probably as close as I’d ever dare get to him again.

  “What time are we supposed to be there tomorrow?” I asked, and was mortified to hear the squeak in my voice.

  “Six.”

  “I’ll see you there.” I started to hang up when I heard him call my name. “Yeah?”

  “My birthday’s in a couple months. Will you wear the silver gown to my party? That was just… hot.”

  “That would look real sharp at the Sizzler.”

  He laughed and I said, “Good night, Cougar.”

  “Well, we don’t have to have it at the Sizzler. There’s always my apart—”

  “Good night, Cougar.” I hung up and stared at the phone. Then I laughed. “Get a grip,” I muttered. That was typical Cougar. He talked to me like that all the time. I had to stop taking it personally. I had to stop thinking of him.

  But I thought of nothing else while I drifted off to sleep.

  The next afternoon, I kissed Abby good-bye and went back inside to finish loading the dishwasher. Then I started getting ready, because I had to stop by the gun shop before they closed at five thirty to pick up Bill’s present. I’d ordered the antique Colt .38 for him a few weeks ago, but hadn’t had time to pick it up yet.

  I slipped on my funeral dress, flats, and $18 stockings and headed for the mall. The owner of the gun shop already had the Colt in a gift box for me, so I had some time to kill before heading to the Sizzler. I thought about going early to see if Bill’s wife, Ellen, needed help decorating, but I’d gotten the distinct impression she didn’t like me much. I opted for a little window-shopping instead.

  A swingy red dress in a display case caught my eye. I liked it enough that I went inside for a closer look, but then walked back out when I saw the price tag. I wandered past Bath & Body Works and Spencer’s and drew up short when I caught my reflection in the mirrored wall.

  Wow, I wasn’t looking too hot tonight. The funeral dress had been so named for a reason. It was plain, dull, and dowdy—the kind of thing I’d worn to keep Grady from pitching a jealous fit when I went somewhere without him.

  I’d stopped by to see Milano on my way to work. I’d signed the papers and he promised me he’d take care of things. I didn’t have to worry about what Grady thought anymore. On impulse, I hurried back to the store with the red dress. I paid for it and a pair of matching red pumps, then slipped it all on in the dressing room. I stuffed my funeral dress and flats into the bag and left.

  A lady hawking Merle Norman called to me when I headed toward the mall exit. “Free makeover?”

  I glanced at my watch. “What can you do in ten minutes?”

  Eight minutes later, I was on my way with ruby lips and smoky eyes and a bag of cosmetics I’d probably never use again. I hardly recognized myself and wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

  My cell started ringing the moment I walked inside the Sizzler. I grabbed it out of my purse and glanced down at Elizabeth’s cell number.

  “Davidson party,” I said to the girl behind the register. She pointed me toward the banquet room. I nodded my thanks and answered the phone.

  “I hope you’re happy,” she shrieked, and I pulled the phone back from my ear. “How could you do this to him?”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  “Grady told me he was served with divorce papers. He’s devastated.”

  Whoa, Milano moved fast. I never dreamed he’d get the papers out today. I missed part of what Elizabeth was yelling at me while I processed this.

  “—that you’re asking for supervised visitation. How dare you! You know he’d never hurt Abby.”

  “I don’t think he’d hurt her on purpose, but he’s been drinking so much lately—”

  “I don’t want to hear that,” she snapped.

  “Whether you want to hear it or not, it’s true.” I leaned against the wall and nodded as someone from the office passed by.

  I heard a sobbing sound in the background, and my grip tightened on the phone. “Elizabeth,” I said, as calmly as I could force myself, “where’s Abby?”

  “She’s right here.”

  I exploded. “What do you mean, she’s right there?”

  “She needs to know all these things you’re slandering her father with aren’t true.”

  “Which part, Elizabeth? The drinking, the abuse, the other woman? Put my daughter on the line.”

  “You won’t blame all of this on him. You’re a horrible mother, Necie. You’ve neglected your family over and over again for your job. If you think you can take her from us, you’re sadly mistaken.”

  “Put my daughter on the line NOW.”

  “If it takes every dime—”

  I gritted my teeth. “If you don’t put my daughter on the line this instant, I’m going to call the state police and have an APB put out on your ass for kidnapping.”

  For a moment, I thought she’d hung up on me, then I heard Abby’s timid voice say, “Mama?”

  She sounded so frightened. I swiped at a tear and tried to keep my voice steady. “Hey, baby. Listen, your grandma’s upset right now. I don’t want you to pay any attention to what she’s saying—”

  “She says you’re trying to take me away from her and Daddy forever and ever. You wouldn’t do that, would you, Mama?”

  I swallowed over the lump in my throat. Furious, helpless tears streamed down my cheeks. How could she do this in front of that child? “No, baby. I wouldn’t do that. Like I said, Grandma’s upset. She doesn’t know what she’s saying. Your daddy and I love you. We’ll—”

  “She doesn’t want to talk to you anymore,” Elizabeth interrupted.

  Anger bubbled inside me, hot and black. “You listen to me and listen good. If Abby’s not home in three hours, I’m calling the police.”

  “See, Abby,” she said. “It’s started already. Your mother says you can’t stay for the wedding—”

  “You bitch!” I snarled. “Are you out of your mind?”

  “Go ahead, curse me all you like. Just more for me to tell the judge.”

  “Get her home and get her home now. You have three hours.” I clicked the phone shut and leaned against the wall, stunned by what had just happened.

  I didn’t know what to do. Maybe I should call the poli
ce now—but no, that would only frighten Abby worse. She had three hours to get her back and then—

  And then what?

  I covered my face and sobbed.

  “Are you okay?” someone asked, and I could only nod. People were staring. I headed toward the restroom, needing a few minutes to compose myself before I tried to drive.

  I kept my head down, and just when I thought I was going to make it to the restroom without being caught by someone I knew, the men’s room door swung open and Cougar stepped into the hallway.

  His smile vanished with one look at my face. I ducked my head and pushed past him into the ladies’ room. To my horror, he followed.

  “What are you doing?” I shrieked, glancing behind me to see if anyone else was inside. Both stall doors hung open.

  Cougar acted like he didn’t hear me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything,” I whispered, and twisted away from him to stare at my reflection in the mirror. I looked washed-out and pale, except for the reddened tip of my nose and the black smudges beneath my eyes. Yanking a paper towel from the dispenser, I tried to do some damage control and only succeeded in smearing the mascara further.

  “Damn it!” I cried.

  Cougar ripped off another sheet, dampened it, and caught my chin in his hand. Too miserable to protest, I stood there like a child while he cleaned my face. “There,” he said, and tossed the soiled paper towel in the trash. “Now talk to me. What’s the matter? You and Grady fighting?”

  “Please, Cougar … not now. I don’t feel like talking.”

  He gave me a crooked grin. “Then how about dancing?”

  I couldn’t return his smile. “I’ve got to go.”

  “Go? You just got here.” A tear-dampened twig of hair stuck to my jaw, and I shivered when he brushed it away with his thumb. His blue eyes darkened, and my breath caught in my throat when he leaned toward me.

  The restroom door burst open, and we jerked apart. The giggling pair who entered fell silent when they saw us. I didn’t know one of the women, but the smirk on the other’s face made my stomach lurch. I swallowed hard and stared at Andrea Jacobs, Kimberly’s best friend.

  “Are we interrupting something?” she asked.

  “No.” I hurried around them and yanked open the door. I’d explain things to Bill later.

  Cougar followed on my heels. He darted around me to block my exit.

  “Necie, talk to me. What’s wrong?” he said.

  I forced a smile. “Look, I’m fine. I was upset but now I’m over it. Go back to the party. You’re in enough trouble already.”

  He shot me a perplexed look. “In trouble with whom?”

  “Kimberly. Andrea will tell her …” I flushed, and finished lamely, “Who knows what Andrea will tell her.”

  “About what?” He looked genuinely confused, and I was beginning to feel stupid.

  “Never mind.”

  “Oh!” Cougar smiled. “I get it. You thought she’d be jealous. You don’t have to worry about Kim.”

  My ears burned. What he really meant was Kim didn’t have to worry about me. Duh. It was stupid, to imagine the leggy redhead spending even a moment being jealous of me. Whatever. I didn’t need this right now. I was worried sick about my little girl.

  I shoved the gift box at Cougar. “I’ve really got to go. Will you give this to Bill when he gets here?”

  “He’s already here.” Cougar accepted the box and glanced toward the banquet room. “Somewhere. So much for the surprise.”

  “Give this to him. Tell him I’m sorry, but something came up. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

  Cougar frowned. “Okay, but… are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Positive. Now I mean it. Go,” I said, and left him standing there.

  I slipped through the gathering crowd. A teenage boy held the door open for me, and I half-staggered outside, gulping in the cold night air and fighting the queasiness that pitched my stomach. I fumbled for my keys and tried to remember where I’d parked.

  Footsteps slapped the pavement behind me, closing in fast. Exasperated, I whirled. “Cougar, I said—”

  Grady snarled at me in the glow of the streetlight. “Cougar? Is that who you’re all dressed up for?”

  “What are you—how did you know I was here?” I asked.

  “I followed you. I knew that with Abby out of the way, you’d make plans with whoever you’re sleeping around with—”

  “Me?” I took a step toward him, but changed my mind when I caught a whiff of Jack Daniels. Jack made Grady mean. I turned to leave.

  “Don’t walk away from me!” he screamed.

  CHAPTER

  9

  He shoved me hard in the back. Caught off guard, I pitched forward. Asphalt bit into my palms and knees as I skidded forward and smacked headfirst into a car.

  I think I blacked out for a second, because the next thing I knew, someone was yelling and I was mostly on my feet, leaning against a dirty Taurus. I opened my eyes in time to see Grady take a swing at my head.

  Due more to the dizziness than reflex, I fell again and he missed. He seized a fistful of my hair and tried to haul me back up, but I’d curled into a fetal position. He didn’t have the leverage to move me.

  With a howl, he launched a kick at my ribs. Color exploded behind my eyes, and I gasped for breath. I couldn’t find my purse, and I had the horrible thought that I was going to die right there, in the parking lot of a building filled with armed officers.

  “Here’s what I think about your divorce.” He hurled something at my head, and I watched the paper wad bounce off the tire. Then I saw a black Stamford loafer rear back for another shot at my ribs.

  Grady slammed into the Taurus. Bill wretched Grady’s arm behind his back and smacked him into the car again. “You’re under arrest for assault of a federal officer!” he yelled. “Necie, are you okay? Linda, check on Necie. You have the right to remain silent—”

  While Linda scrambled toward me, I heard a commotion behind her and looked up. Tucker, Ubi, and some guy I didn’t know had their arms locked around Cougar, trying to hold him back. He was dragging them all, shouting curses at Grady.

  “Bill, get him out of here,” Tucker pleaded, his face red with exertion. Cougar surged forward and nearly broke free.

  Bill handcuffed Grady and shoved him toward his Expedition. Sirens screamed around the corner, and Bill reversed directions, prodding Grady toward the sound. I watched them load Grady into a squad car.

  I jumped when Cougar fell on his knees beside me. He grasped my face in his hands.

  “Necie, are you okay?”

  His eyes were wide and glassy, his face pale even in the amber glow of the streetlight. I nodded, then burst into tears.

  He hugged me. “Shhh, it’s all right. It’s all right.” He tilted my face toward the light and scowled. “I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.”

  “Get back, get back,” Linda told the crowd, and moved to stand in front of us. To Cougar she said, “An ambulance is on the way. They’re caught in traffic.”

  “No!” I said, and tried to push myself upright. “No ambulance.”

  The crowd seemed to edge closer. I couldn’t take the whispering and staring anymore. “Get me out of here,” I begged Cougar.

  Instantly, he stood. “Kim!” he yelled. “Kim!”

  She materialized through the crowd, and he tossed her his keys. “I’m taking Necie to the hospital.”

  She snagged the keys in midair. “Go. Take care of her.”

  Instead of helping me stand, Cougar scooped me up in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face against his shoulder. I heard Linda cancel the ambulance on the radio. Tucker hurried ahead of us to open the car door, and Cougar gently deposited me in the seat.

  “Where are your keys?” he asked.

  “My purse …”

  “I’ll get it. Tuck, stay with her.”

  Linda had already started our way with it. She handed
it to him, and he passed it to me. The crumpled divorce papers poked out of the side pocket. Tucker squeezed my hand and kissed my forehead.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he said. “We won’t let him hurt you again.”

  He shut the door. Cougar climbed into the driver’s seat and cranked the engine. He said nothing as we roared away, merely stared straight ahead with a grim expression on his face and clutched the wheel with white-knuckled hands.

  “I’m okay,” I said, though my head was pounding. “I don’t want to go to the hospital. Abby’s coming home—”

  “Necie, he assaulted you. We need to make sure you don’t have a concussion or something.” He glanced at me. “What the hell happened, anyway?”

  “I filed for divorce.”

  Cougar’s gaze snapped back to me, his lips parting in surprise. A horn blared and he nearly clipped a Trans Am before jerking back into the correct lane.

  “I need to go home, Cougar.”

  He flipped on the turn signal and swerved into a BP parking lot. He twisted in the seat and motioned me forward. I winced when he pressed around the lump on my head.

  “How many fingers am I holding up?”

  “Two.”

  He snatched a pen from the dash and made me track it as he moved it in front of my face.

  “Where else do you hurt?”

  “My knees. My ribs.”

  He gave my knees a cursory examination, then reached for my sides. I’d be lying if I said my body didn’t jolt to awareness when his hands gently pressed and prodded below my breasts. I might’ve had the crap beaten out of me, but I wasn’t dead yet.

  “Please,” I said. “I need to go home. Abby will be there soon.”

  Cougar shot me another long, hard look, then he sighed. We pulled back onto the road, this time heading in the opposite direction.

  We arrived at my house fifteen minutes later. Cougar offered to carry me inside, but I didn’t want the neighbors to see that. I might as well have taken him up on his offer, though, because I found I couldn’t put weight on my left ankle. Cougar stooped, allowing me to wrap an arm around his shoulder, and I hopped to the front door like a wounded crow.

  “You got a first-aid kit?” Cougar asked when I hobbled inside.