1863 Saratoga Summer

by Dorice Nelson

  “Och, she will. I promise you.”

  The hack rolled down the drive. Connor looked at Sinead. There was a gleam in his eye. “I need to see Harry and make sure the horses are taken care of properly. Why don’t you go inside and fix us something to eat? Essie said you didn’t eat this morning. I’ve been too busy as well. But we’ll talk and talk.”

  “Connor, I don’t want you to be leaving me again.”

  “I won’t, lass. This time I promise. It was necessary last night. I couldn’t tell you I was going. You slept so peacefully, I didn’t wish to be waking you out of a sound rest.”

  “Was it you who covered me and slipped the pillow under my head?”

  “Aye.”

  “I would much prefer if it was your arm beneath my head,” she said, giving him a shy look. She turned, went into the house and disappeared from view.

  Connor wanted to follow her in. Every bone and muscle of his body concentrated on Sinead. His heart pounded against his ribs until he needed to move or fall down in a heap. What an extraordinary woman his wife was!

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Sinead puttered around the house, trying to distract herself from plaguing thoughts. How could she resolve the dilemma facing her and the Dewitts? She readied a cold platter for dinner, placed it atop the block of ice in the kitchen and covered it with a cloth. She moved to the big parlor room and sat wrapped in considerations.

  The sun left the sky and sunk into the horizon before she was aware of it. Finally, as the room darkened, she grew cognizant of the day’s demise. Surprised to see the day gone, leaving only wonder is its wake, she stood and went to the front door.

  Connor was nowhere to be seen, but this time she was not fearful of his going off. She concluded he must be in one of the barns.

  Stepping onto the porch, an immense panorama of sky opened before her. The stars twinkled in a message of majesty and love. The moon shone with a fierce brightness and lit the land around the property. Distant mountains glistened like polished stones.

  Feeling an affinity for the outdoors she hadn’t felt in years, Sinead dragged in huge breaths of air, saturated with the honeyed scents of life, of grass, flowers and new-mown hay. Seemingly motionless, the air only stirred slightly, mostly in vibrating drifts of sound from activities in the village. Music and laughter rose over the lake.

  Filled with a sense of well being, she decided to surprise Connor by daring to go down to the barn and paddock areas when there was still activity, with no escort. She took a tenuous step from the porch and approached the stairs above the rolling mounds below. Her heart fluttered at her bravery as she took the first step down.

  There was a light in the first barn and she headed for it. Each step closer caused her breathing to labor a bit. At the last step, she put her foot forward onto the spongy turf. The tiny heels of her boots sunk into its softness. She plopped down on the step and undid her boots. They came off with surprising quickness. She flung them to one side and curled her toes into soft blades of new mown grass.

  The sensuous feel of her bare feet against a bit of life, which sprung back to meet her, caused her to shiver with delight. Memories of her first home in Ireland, of the safety and security she felt there, raced through her. A warm sensation flooded her body. She rose and moved toward the barn with a purpose she never felt before in her entire life.

  “Connor?” she called at the entrance. “Connor, are you there?”

  No answer came from within. Sinead turned to stare out into a darkness lit only by the moon’s brightness. She could vaguely discern some figures in the pasture. One was obviously a horse, but the tall shape of a man next to it drew her attention.

  She ran, her feet dancing on the grassy and sandy patches of the earth. She ran toward the one thing she wanted above all other things. Connor!

  ~*~

  His back to the house where his thoughts were, Connor concentrated on brushing the huge bay in front of him. “Stand still, you damned fool. Chester, quit your dancing…”

  Slowly he worked himself from the side of the gelding’s body to his neck. He pushed the mane to one side and stroked knotted clumps, one by one, with the stiff brush, until they settled smooth and silky against the animal’s neck.

  The horse stretched his neck forward, giving Connor ample room to do the job. Suddenly, the horse jogged a bit. “Whoa, boy. In a minute, you’re going to be standing on my feet, big lump that you are.”

  “Connor…”

  His wife’s voice rang out in the stillness. He was surprised and proud she came down by herself. His attention to the horse in front of him wandered.

  “Connor… Answer me.”

  Ears straight up and attentive, the horse snorted and leaped to one side. He tossed his head in fear of the strange noise he couldn’t see, clipping his master smack on one side of the temple. The hit stunned Connor momentarily, and he sank to his knees before sitting in the grass. Chester stood quietly, looking at the man on the ground.

  “Och, my God…” Sinead shrieked from the fence line.

  Connor looked up in time to see his wife tuck her skirt between her legs and climb over the fence, struggling with each rung. He wondered if he were awake or dreaming, but the figure sprinted toward him, waving its arms.

  “Go way, ye beastie,” Sinead cried. “You robbed me once. You’ll not be robbing me again.”

  Sinead, little Sinead, who chased horses away from him when only a tiny girl, unafraid of the animals. Connor didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. His head was sore but not for the first time in his life. Laughing won out. His body shook with muffled joy.

  “Go, go beastie…” she waved the horse away, as if there was no fear of them left. She fell to her knees. “Och, Connor, love, are you all right?” Her hands traveled over his face, until she touched the round, stone-like bruise growing on his brow.

  He winced. “Easy, love. You’ll be making a dent in my brain if you’re not careful,” he crowed, the laughter bubbling out of him.

  Sinead leaped to her feet. “You think it’s funny, do you now? You frightened the heart right out of me.” She turned on her heels and marched back across the field.

  Connor jumped up. “Wait, Sinead, wait.”

  He could tell by the set of her shoulders she had no intention of turning back to him or waiting for a single minute. He leaped the fence, charged after her and swung her off her feet into his arms. “Did you think to get away from me? Och, there’s no chance of it, lass. You’re mine and we’ll work things out together.”

  Her arms went around his neck. Her mouth nestled at his throat where she placed several warm kisses. Chills ran down his spine. Connor knew if he didn’t get to the house soon, he’d lose everything and take her in the grass.

  “I’m going to set you on the top rail of the fence, Sinead. I don’t want you to move an inch.”

  “It’s the way my mam died, you know.”

  “Aye, I know. I remember,” he said, placing her on the top railing. “But it’s not going to happen to you.”

  “You killed the horse, didn’t you?” Her voice was soft.

  “Aye. That I did. It broke my heart, lass, but your mama’s death broke it more.”

  Connor heaved himself over the fence. The desperate look on Sinead’s face made him step in front of her and take her hands on his. He placed a soft kiss in her palm.

  “Connor, I’ve only just realized some things in the last few days.”

  Connor climbed back onto the top rail next to his wife and straddled it. He took her in his arms, her body between his legs. “Perhaps, you should be telling me about it now, for I may not listen well later.”

  He pulled her in close to him and let her lean back on his chest. Perhaps the things she had to say could best be said with her face looking away into the distance.

  “I closed off all my life from the day my mama died. I punished my own da for her death. Year after year, I tortured him.”

  “And how did you do that?
You were but a wee lass at the time.”

  Sinead kept talking as if she couldn’t stop and Connor let her finish without interruption. “The fact he still loved horses. A horse killed my mother. The very thought made me go after my da, and the animals, in a perverse, opposite way. I truly talked myself into being afraid of them, to punish him. I missed out on so much.”

  “Aye, you did. You missed the pleasure of sitting on them and loving them, as they most often love folks who are kind to them. Like your da.”

  She turned in his arms and looked into his face. “Connor, I know I did wrong to my da. I’ll make it up to him somehow.”

  “I think being happy might make all the difference in the world to your da. And to Robbie. So much of your troubles were of your own doing, Sinead. You punished yourself, even more than you punished others. But I’m here now and we’ll muddle through this business of life, together.”

  She leaned forward and her mouth settled on his. The simple movement took his breath away. He inhaled strongly, and her scent flowed into him. “Wife, there’s more to say between us. I still need to tell you certain things, important things…”

  Her mouth met his again. The tip of her tongue tickled the sides of his lips. His arms went around her and the kiss deepened. She melted into him.

  Connor slid off the fence with her in his arms. He couldn’t put her down and he couldn’t stop kissing her. Her breath came faster, and it blew across his face. Her arms tightened around his neck. He could feel her heart pounding against his own. The steady drumming was about to drive him crazy. He was ready to take her where they stood but moved toward the stairs to the house instead.

  She gasped to catch her breath. She took his face in her hands and kissed it in every space she could find. Suddenly she stopped. “Connor, your bruise. ‘Tis all swollen. It needs doctoring.”

  “Aye, lass, to be sure, but a different doctoring is on my mind.”

  He raced for the stairs and went up them two at a time, charging across the porch when he got to it. One hand reached for the knob. He turned it and kicked the door open with his foot.

  “Set me down, Connor. I can walk.”

  Connor never uttered a word. He pressed his lips against hers and fell onto the sofa in the living room, her on top of him. He couldn’t let her go, not now, never. If ever he was in doubt before, he wasn’t now.

  Her response to his kisses thrilled him. He savaged her mouth and wanted to cry when she returned the favor. Her breasts were warm against his skin and his need to touch them overcame him. The softness of them fired his desire for this woman. Their size filled his hand. The sigh of pleasure, along with a moan, nearly undid him. He stood, never letting her mouth go, and carried her to the bedroom, which would be theirs forever more.

  Throughout the night, she matched his every movement, gave back every kiss with a deeper one of her own. Their tongues dueled in a constant battle as they raced across each other’s body, discovering and exploring. Sinead stretched and arched, sighed and gasped, struggling for a fulfillment never realized. When it came with swift and deadly force, her world opened up as never before.

  ~*~

  The morning dawned light and dewy. So did Sinead. At a late breakfast, neither Connor nor Sinead could manage more than a few nibbles. Slowly they gravitated to the big double swing on the front porch. Their eyes were locked together, their hands clasped in their efforts to keep touching each other.

  Connor, eager to impart the news he withheld within him for far too long, ran his fingers reverently up and down his wife’s arm. When Sinead shivered with delight, he smiled down at her.

  “First, let me tell you, no one will come to the house here, until after we put in an appearance at the races, later today. I’m sure Egan told your da and Pegeen. I told Essie myself. Harry will care for the horses until further notice. I wanted a chance to explain fully where I was yesterday.”

  “I would appreciate it. I’ll not be telling you again of my devastation when I discovered you and Egan gone from the farm. All your belongings as well…”

  “We didn’t want to wake you. While we stripped the tent, there was no need to tell you anything. I hoped to surprise you.”

  “Aye, you did that …” She nestled against him.

  He squeezed her shoulder and placed a kiss behind her ear, garnering another shiver. “You never stirred when Egan and I roamed the house, bringing up all my things from below. You slept too deeply and too well for me to disturb you.”

  Pulling away from him to look him in the face, Sinead said, “You could have awakened me as you did last night.”

  “In front of my brother? I think not…” Connor’s laugh sailed across the porch to the trees of the forest. He pulled her back to his chest and hugged her tightly. “Och, Sinead, you’ve become my world.” He trailed soft kisses up the side of her neck then leaned back with a sigh. “My things are stacked, rather messily, in one of the extra bedrooms, just waiting to be straightened out, after we are.”

  “My God, your things were here in the house the whole night?”

  Connor nodded and brought her palm to his lips for a kiss. Her trembling and instant response thrilled him. She curled her fingers around his lips. The fire, which flashed in her eyes, matched the one he felt inside of himself.

  “Con, I never knew. I didn’t understood anything about you or life, but I never truly blamed you. Just myself. When you left, I truly thought you’d decided to see the last of me.”

  “Never…”

  “But how could you run off without telling me you were going somewhere?” Her body tensed beneath his hand and arm.

  “I was doing something for us, for you and Robbie. It was all I was thinking about.” Connor swung around to face her. “And I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

  He leaned forward and placed a hand on her knee. She didn’t draw away from his touch as she did so many times before. It was all the encouragement he needed. His mouth met hers and, with their lips sealed, their kiss contained more meaning, more promise, than it did last night.

  “Connor, stop. You constantly distract me. Tell me your news.”

  Connor rose from the swing. He saw the surprise on her face. Her arms stretched out to draw him back and he held up a hand. “Wait. I need to get a piece of paper to show you. Sit still and I’ll be right back.” He raced into the house.

  Sinead settled back on the swing and gave it a bit of a push with her foot. She closed her eyes and hummed.

  Connor came out seconds later, waving a document in his hand. “This is it. The solution to all your fears and desires for Robbie.”

  “Nothing could be so easy…”

  “Well, it was.” He stood in front of her, attempting to hand her the document, then taking it back, smiling with a foolish grin. “Here’s what I’ve learned. Robert Cavanaugh, Senior, was born and brought up in the City of Albany. He grew to manhood there before going to New York.” He looked at Sinead whose face was serene. “Did you know he was quite a bit older than Lucinda Dewitt?”

  Shaking her head, Sinead responded with a clipped, “Aye. Older than me, too.”

  Connor couldn’t stop himself. His eagerness to tell the story overwhelmed him, as if saying it out loud would put in better perspective. “Well, in his youth, he knew Adelaide, who came from Albany as well. He sought her out when he went to the city. It’s how he met Lucinda in the first place. Ludwig sought placements for him until Robert became well-established in the financial community. When Robert secured more monetary success than Ludwig, he married Lucinda, much to her parents’ despair.”

  Sinead frowned. “I always knew Adelaide didn’t like Robert, especially after Lucinda’s death, but… I appreciate your telling me all this, Connor, but I already know most of the story, first from Lucinda’s mouth, then Adelaide’s. The stories are different, I admit…”

  He shook his head. “Nae, you don’t know the most and the best of it. Egan brought me the news when he arrived. We owe many th
anks to Morrissey, who got the information through his sources in the city.”

  Sinead patted the seat next to her and Connor sat. He took her hand in his. “Please listen. When Robert Cavanaugh married you to secure a proper Catholic upbringing for his son, he made sure the papers were recorded in both cities, New York and Albany. He stated in those papers how much he hated New York City. He hoped you’d move away from there with Robbie.”

  Sinead groaned, “And how was I supposed to do such a thing, with no money or the prospects of getting any?”

  “He left you a fortune.”

  “What?” Sinead leaped to her feet and paced the porch, talking, almost to herself. “He left just enough money to take care of Robbie until the laddie could be established on his own. As long as I provided care for the child, as if I could ever do differently, I would be provided for.”

  Connor stood up and walked beside her. “And who told you the story? The Dewitts?”

  Sinead stopped in mid-step. She swerved, cocked her head and looked at Connor from the corner of her eye. “Aye.” He lifted her up and swung her around.

  “Put me down, ye ape of a man. You’ll be making me dizzy.”

  He turned her to face him but refused to take his arms from around her. “Sinead, do you ever remember signing a paper for Robert?”

  Her eyes grew wide. “Aye, I signed several when his hands crippled.”

  “Those were adoption papers. You are legally Robbie’s mother.”

  Sinead’s mouth opened. She gasped. “You mean I’ve been his legal mother all along?”

  Tears gathered in her eyes. Holding her hand to her mouth, she pushed Connor away and went to stand at the porch railing, shaking. He followed right behind her.

  “What a fool I’ve been, listening to those folks all these years!” She swung around to face Connor. “What should I do different? What do I do now?”

  Connor lifted her and placed her on the sturdy railing, holding tightly so she wouldn’t fall. “Listen to me Sinead. I’ve more to tell you, but first I want to tell you this. I love you. With all of my Irish heart and soul!”