My Dusk My Dawn

by Henrietta Georgia

  A familiar face turned up. Scott. The last time we’d seen each other was at the barbecue Craig had thrown for my birthday. The one where I’d met the members of the Brotherhood.

  “Scottie!” David exclaimed, feigning surprise.

  “I’ll just be a moment,” he announced, gesturing for us to make an exit. “Grab yourself something to eat or drink in the canteen. I’ll be there in a moment.”

  I quickly said goodbye to Daniel. Struggling to hold back tears, he reluctantly said goodbye as well.

  Scottie ate as though he hadn’t eaten in hours. David ate nothing, while I sipped on a strawberry milk.

  David shifted uncomfortably in his seat before stating, “Something’s not right here. Daniel shouldn’t be here. Who called it in?”

  Scottie swallowed the food in his mouth before stating, “Craig.”

  “Of course,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Look, I know how you feel. I’ve looked at his notes, and I can say that he was brought in as a precaution. There were a few issues of concern in the lead up to his admission,” Scottie stated, before taking a huge bite out of his blueberry muffin.

  “What issues of concern?” David questioned. “He was fine when I last saw him, both last night and two days ago.”

  “Aren’t we all fine up until we’re pushed over the edge?” Scottie asked. “He’s been under a phenomenal amount of stress, it’s no surprise that it’s all come to a head now.”

  David frowned deeply. “This doesn’t feel right, mate. This here stinks to the high heavens. I don’t believe for one moment that Daniel should be here.”

  “Believe what you will matey, he’s here. He wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t cause for concern,” Scottie insisted, still savouring his muffin.

  I sighed in response, carefully contemplating what Scottie had said. Daniel had been under a lot of stress lately. Finding out he had a brother, finding out Jolène wasn’t his birth mother, missing the birth of his children, facing the loss of our relationship.

  “He’s right,” I agreed. “Scottie’s right. Daniel’s here, and he’s here for a reason.”

  “I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Scottie said.

  “Who says you’re on the same page? ‘Cause we are not on the same page,” David announced. “The fact that Craig called this in…”

  “Okay, I can see we’re not getting anywhere,” Scottie interrupted. “I’ll let you make your own observations once I, the resident psychiatrist, have drawn my own conclusions.”

  David refrained from saying anything further, while Scottie stuffed the remainder of the blueberry muffin in his mouth, wiped his hands on a serviette and tossed it in David’s direction.

  “Come on man!” David exclaimed. “I see you’ve not changed, always tryin’ to get a rise out of me.”

  Scottie half smiled, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” he announced.

  “Hm..” David stated.

  “Let’s make this happen,” Scottie said, getting up.

  I remained seated at the table moments after they’d both gotten up. David offered me his hand. I felt like crying but I couldn’t, I felt like my world was caving in, but taking his hand changed things. For a moment.

  “We’ll make sure he’s alright,” David said with firm resolve.

  It hurt my heart to see Daniel where he was. So helpless, so defenceless.

  “I’m doing okay,” he insisted. “Enjoying the quietude.”

  “We can take you home then,” David said.

  “Home?” he questioned. “I’m not interested in you babysitting me, I’m afraid,” he stated, casting a furtive glance at David and I.

  “Daniel…” I started.

  “Go on now and get some rest,” he advised. “I’ll still be here tomorrow. Kiss the babies for me.”

  Reluctantly, we left.

  David and I sat in the car for a moment before he started the engine. “I won’t go in and see him next time. He obviously doesn’t want me here.”

  I sat there, contemplative. The mental health facility looked eerily beautiful from the outside.

  “Teme,” David called out. “You alright?”

  “I can’t believe he’s in here,” I said. Tears came without warning.

  “Come now,” he urged. “Don’t cry. You’re not alone. I’m here with you.”

  I dug into my handbag for some tissue. He wiped tears off my cheek as I did. “This is but a moment in a lifetime of moments,” David insisted. “He’s in safe hands, Scottie’s an excellent doctor. However, I don’t agree with the commit first and watch and see approach they’re taking solely on the advice Craig’s given them, but if he has to be anywhere, he’s in good hands here.”

  I found the tissue. “Scottie, how do you know him?” I asked.

  “Met him in my third year of med school. I did a six month exchange in Louisiana. He was the psychiatry registrar at the time.

  “Interesting,” I noted.

  “Look, I know what I just said about him being in good hands, but I just feel ill at ease leaving him here,” David confessed. “He’s my twin, my brother. I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.”

  “Okay,” I replied.

  “I’d like for us to go back in and talk to Scottie,” he suggested.

  We did just that. Scottie seemed surprised to see us again. David went straight into his concerns.

  “I hear you. I understand where you’re coming from,” Scottie said. “I just feel you’re not being objective.”

  “Can I have a moment?” David asked, turning away from Scottie, and to me.

  “Sure,” Scottie said. “I’ll give you a few minutes on your own, and I’ll be back.” With that, he stepped out of the room.

  “Does Daniel have what’s called an Advanced Medical Directive in place? Has he appointed you Power of Attorney?” David asked.

  “I don’t know,” I replied.

  “Well, if he has, we can override some of the decisions they’re making here, get them to change strategy.”

  “I see,” I replied, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. “Change strategy, how?”

  “Whatever it is they’re diagnosing him with, I need them to run a battery of other tests. It could be possible the symptoms he’s experiencing are a sign of something else,” David suggested.

  “Like what?” I asked.

  Before he got a chance to answer, Scottie was back.

  “All good?” he asked.

  “No, we just have a few questions,” David stated. “You’ve done an assessment. What’s the diagnosis?” he asked.

  “Bi-polar disorder,” he said quickly.

  “Is that what Craig’s told you?” David enquired.

  “I’m the doctor,” Scottie stated. “I did my own observations, and this is what I’ve come up with.”

  “What you’ve come up with, with a bit of persuasion and input from Craig, no doubt,” David said.

  “Look, David. You’re not being objective. I suggest you let me do my job, and you take a step back.”

  “Did Craig mention anything about capacity?” I asked point blankly. From the look on Scott’s face, he had.

  “Well, he did express concern about that,” he stated briefly. “He had his reasons.”

  “Okay,” David said. “You need to do some talking here,” he insisted. “If you don’t, well, I’m no longer a part of the Brotherhood, and this can go as far as you want it to go. Teme’s no longer working for the District Attorney’s office, but she’s best mates with the fellas who are.”

  Scott frowned slightly before stating, “What do you want?”

  “For you to put aside everything that Craig has told you, and for you to run a series of other tests.”

  “I can’t just do that,” he replied.

  “Well, if you don’t, then I can’t help what might happen next,” David threatened.

  “Okay,” Scottie replied, sneaking me a side glance.

  “I’d like you to do an MRI,�
� David suggested.

  “An MRI?” Scottie questioned.

  “Yes, an MRI,” David repeated.

  “Do you suspect a tumour?” Scottie asked.

  “Just do an MRI, will you?” David insisted.

  I must have had a look of alarm on my face which David picked up on.

  “Don’t mean to be alarmist,” David stated. “What Craig suggested aside, which I highly doubt is the correct diagnosis, I’m just a little concerned that we may be missing something.”

  “Such as?” Scottie asked.

  “I don’t like speculating, but I feel pretty strongly that it could be some sort of a tumour. This is consistent with the lack of responsiveness to treatment for his migraines and the loss of certain faculties. It might also explain the persistent pain he’s experiencing and the constant left hemiplegic migraines. Time is of the essence here. Please get this done as soon as,” David insisted.

  It took a while for David’s words to sink in. Tumour. Time. I truly hoped that was not the case.

  “You can’t hold him here any longer than you have,” David reminded him.

  “I know this,” Scottie replied. “I’ll have to discharge him, have the tests done through neurology.”

  David nodded in response, noticeably calmer. “So, we’re free to take him home in a bit?”

  “Of course,” Scottie stated, unhappy with David’s insistence. “I’ll get the referrals organised.”

  “Right,” David replied, deep in thought.

  “I’ll discharge him on a low dose of Topamax. Hope this will decrease and altogether halt those migraines.”

  “Good stuff,” David replied. “Appreciated. Hope there’re no hard feelings.”

  “Well, no,” Scottie said. “He needs to have that MRI done.”

  “Pleasure to meet you again Temwani,” Scottie said, extending his hand out to me for a shake.

  “None of that golden handshake business mate,” David joked, encouraging me to drop Scottie’s hand.

  “Ah, funny,” Scottie replied. “Good one.”

  Daniel’s effects had been put aside for him. The clothes he’d worn on admission had been laundered and pressed. The only thing missing was a pair of shoes. He was not wearing any the day he was involuntarily committed.

  “How are you feeling?” David asked.

  “Good,” Daniel replied quickly.

  “He’s on your side you know,” I reminded him, aware of the ever present animosity.

  “I know,” Daniel said reluctantly. “It’s been a pretty isolating experience,” he admitted tearfully, pausing as we got to the gate. The guard nodded goodbye before authorizing the gates to open.

  I noticed Daniel’s hands were shaking.

  “You okay mate?” David asked, concerned.

  Daniel hesitated for a moment before responding. He looked faint. “I just need to take it slow. Wish I wasn’t so emotional,” he said, leaning his back against the corridor wall.

  “Keep moving,” the guard commanded.

  “Not much longer,” David encouraged, as he helped Daniel regain his balance.

  I stood at the entrance of the facility with Daniel, as David went to bring the car around.

  “I missed you,” I managed, embracing him.

  “Missed you too,” Daniel said, leaning in for a kiss. “I’m so sorry for all of this.”

  “Please don’t apologize Daniel. The important thing is you’re on the mend.”

  “I’m not sure about that. I don’t feel too crash hot at the moment,” he stated. He was sweating profusely now.

  “You don’t have to worry about us, we’re alright,” I promised.

  He smiled ever so slightly. David was back. “I need to stop being so insecure and all,” he acknowledged. “You are married to me, after all, and you have given me two beautiful babies. Everything else, my past, Craig, all bygones.”

  David held the door open for me. As I got in, I noticed Daniel looked a little worse for wear. Instead of getting into the car, he sat on the curb, head between his legs.

  I got back out. “When did you last eat?” I asked, offering him a granola bar. He waved it away. David stopped the engine, sat in the car for a moment.

  “The sooner we can get you out of here and out of the heat, the better off you’ll be,” he suggested.

  Daniel quickly got up and made a dash for the hedge, where he was sick. I made my way over to him, stood there with him. I offered him a tissue which he gladly took. He was shaking, and looked as though he might faint.

  I turned to look over at David, who was on the phone. I gestured for him to come over. He nodded in response, but motioned at the phone.

  “Please sit down Daniel,” I ordered, noticing he was having difficulty staying on his feet.

  He turned to respond, and muttered something unintelligible before collapsing in front of me and hitting the pavement, hard. I fell to my knees, terrified. David rushed over.

  “Keep him on his side,” he ordered, checking Daniel’s pulse. “Daniel,” he called out. “Daniel, can you hear me?”

  Daniel stirred slightly. He grimaced in response. His head was bleeding from the hit he’d taken to the pavement when he fell. “Daniel, can you hear me?” David asked again, as Daniel drifted in and out of consciousness.

  The paramedics were there in moments. Daniel was placed in a head brace, and onto a stretcher.

  The shock of seeing Daniel so helpless had me in tears. I wanted to ride in the ambulance with him, but was not allowed to. David firmly placed a hand around my waist and quickly led me to the car to save further argument. We followed the ambulance bumper to bumper until we got to the Presbyterian Hospital. I thought to call Jolène at that moment, and did.

  David and I waited in the lobby before being told where Daniel was. Triage was complete, he was conscious and being admitted for observation. Jolène arrived not long after.

  I detected the animosity between Jolène and David from the moment she arrived. I suspected it was because she hadn’t gotten over missing the birth of her grandkids. On arrival, she gave a casual nod to David, and embraced me.

  David took her cue and maintained a distance. “I’ll go get us all some coffee and tea,” he muttered under his breath before heading off.

  “Please tell me that the two of you will stop this nonsense of constantly fighting. You need to get it together for your own sakes and for the sake of your babies. What happened anyway!” she exclaimed.

  I discussed Daniel’s admission to the mental facility, and explained how he suddenly collapsed when we were leaving. She cupped her mouth in alarm. “Oh, my poor baby. Why didn’t anyone call me when he was first admitted!”

  “He specifically did not want you to know,” I offered.

  In tears, she asked, “Is there anything else I’m not being told?”

  “His treating doctor is doing a series of tests. He’s no longer convinced Daniel’s bi-polar.”

  “If he’s not bi-polar, what is he?” Jolène asked, worried.

  “It might be a tumour of some sort,” I replied.

  She gasped loudly, outwardly expressing the shock I felt inside. “Well, is it? How soon will we know?”

  “He hasn’t had the tests done yet. I assume he will be having them done now.”

  David returned with two coffees and a tea.

  Jolène immediately launched a scathing tirade directed at David. “You did this to him. He was perfectly happy until you came along. You did this to him!”

  I tried to calm her down, but she was not having a bar of it. “You put him through so much stress, and you won’t lay off making moves on his wife. What kind of a brother are you David! Certainly one who doesn’t care too much. Go back to where you came from, go back to Australia!”

  An orderly approached, cautioning Jolène. “Madam, you will have to leave if you don’t stop this right now,” he warned.

  “Why don’t you ask him to leave! He’s the one that’s wreaking havoc on my son’s
and daughter in law’s life!”

  David frowned in response, handing me the coffee and tea on a tray. “I’ll be at the front, moving the car. Daniel’s in good hands.”

  Turning to Jolène he stated, “Sorry you feel that way Jolène,” before walking off.

  I handed her the coffee. “That wasn’t called for, Jolène.”

  “Oh, but it was. Someone needs to put the fear of God in that man, he needs to step off and get a life of his own. One that doesn’t involve you being the centre of it.”

  I wanted to argue back, but was too exhausted to. Daniel was my main concern now. David came in a clear second. Maybe Jolène was right. All the stress of David had culminated in this. Though, as I recalled the past, we had problems before David showed up. While David’s presence had not helped, Daniel had been forced to step up his game because of David.

  Moments later, David sent me a text message. Okay?

  I wondered where he was. 3 o’clock, by the bay windows, he texted back.

  I turned to look, and Jolène caught and followed my gaze. She gave me a dirty look in response.

  “You know, I only have eyes for Daniel,” I stated. “So you can stop with all the accusations and the judgement.”

  “Could have fooled me,” she fumed, giving me the once over. “Now’s as good a time as any to convince me otherwise.”

  I laughed in response. “You’re not being serious, are you? Daniel is laid up in a hospital bed, fighting for his life and all you can say to me now is that you hope I’m not having feelings for his brother?” She shrugged in response. “Give it a rest will you? He is family.” I made my way over to David, not waiting for her response.

  “What are you up to, and why didn’t you come back earlier?” I asked.

  “Trying to keep a safe distance between myself and Mama Bear. Not trying to enrage her any further, and get clawed or anything,” he replied.

  I giggled at the “get clawed” bit.

  “Besides, you need time with him. Without me hanging in the background like a bad smell,” he said.

  I sighed. “I hope you’re not taking everything that’s being said about you to heart.”