My Dusk My Dawn

by Henrietta Georgia

  “No,” he stated unconvincingly. “Even if I was, I’m a big boy. Comes with the territory. She’ll be right.”

  “As long as you’re okay,” I offered.

  “Yep,” he replied, abruptly changing topic. “I might head off and check on the babies?”

  “You would do that? Sadie said they’d be fine, she said she’ll top up the expressed milk with formula, if worse came to worse.”

  “Daniel’s not going to like the sound of that,” David guessed.

  “Nope. No choice though,” I replied.

  “Although…how about you express some milk now and I can shoot it back to them? It’d be easy enough to get some bottles and a pump organized for you. I could go by maternity and ask the question,” he suggested.

  I pondered for a moment.

  “Or better yet, I can bring the babies back here for a feed, you can nurse them, then express what you can and I’ll make sure they get back home in time for their bedtime routine?”

  It warmed me to see that he was thinking like a father. He’d had enough practice, those first few weeks in Australia.

  “Okay, sounds like a plan,” I agreed.

  “Great,” he said, and he was off.

  18

  PATHS COLLIDING

  David was helping me label the bottles of expressed breastmilk in the kitchen when Jolène burst in.

  “White Trash,” she stated.

  “Excuse me?” David asked.

  “Every moment I turn around, here you are again,” she remarked.

  David slammed the pen down on the table. “Will you just stop with your holier than thou attitude already? I’ve just about had enough of your judgement.”

  “I’ll stop when you leave my son’s family alone,” she challenged.

  “Your son’s family? This is my family too. In fact, my bond to them is closer than yours will ever be. How about we have it out then?” David replied. “Since you insist on badgering me every chance you get.” He stood up to face her. “Your son is my brother. My blood. Blood is thicker than water. You’re water.”

  “You’ve always been more trouble than you were worth,” she stated, with disdain. “We don’t need you here.”

  “Why is it that you’re so desperate to have me gone? Can it be that I’m a living breathing reminder of the guilt you felt all those years ago when you refused to adopt me too? How about we tell him how you were part of the process that forcibly removed us from our birth mother, and that in the end, you took him but chose to have me terminated?”

  Jolène’s face turned pale.

  “Yeah, that’s right,” he concluded. “You insist on having me gone because I’m supposedly tearing this family apart. Yet you won’t admit why you really want me gone. You won’t admit how much hatred you feel towards me. Well guess what. I’ve made something of myself. This baby that was left in the dumpster has made something of himself,” his face flushed, he challenged, “How about you tell your “son” just how much you cared about him all these years when you let on that he was an only child. How about we start telling the truth around here.”

  “You will do no such thing. He is to never find out.”

  David laughed sarcastically. “He’s not stupid. He’ll figure it out for himself anyway, if I don’t tell him first.”

  “You wouldn’t dare,” Jolène challenged.

  “You don’t know me,” David stated. “Never have, and never will.”

  Jolène cast a look my direction. I was equally as shocked at David’s admission, if not, more so, as Jolène had known all along that David had survived the attempted termination. All these years.

  She turned to me. “You know what, Temwani? I’d be glad if this relationship you have with my son falls apart. You’ve been nothing but trouble. If only he had his heart set on a southern belle, not someone like you. You people are always so much drama…”

  “You people? What the?” David exclaimed, as shocked as I was. “You’re on thin ice now,” he warned.

  I was enraged at what she had said but found no words in that moment. Two words rung in my mind. Dumpster baby.

  “Blood is thicker than water,” David stated again, motioning at the door. “Your so-called grandkids are my blood too. Like it or not, that’s facts.”

  Realising the error of her ways, apologetically, Jolène stated, “I don’t know what came over me…”

  Sternly, David replied, “You’ve said your piece. Now, get out.”

  “David, I’m…” she started.

  “Out,” he ordered, cutting her off.

  “David, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry…”

  “Jolène, out please.” He didn’t care to listen to her apology.

  She gave him the finger on her way out. He kissed his teeth in response.

  Amidst the indignation, I could see the anguish in his eyes. I wondered how long he would have kept the whole of his story a secret from us all. From me.

  “I didn’t mean to keep secrets,” he said apologetically. “Thought I’d go to the grave with that one, but I had my back against the wall with nowhere to go. Been wearing my heart on my sleeve lately, and it’s not a good look.” Running a hand through his sun kissed auburn brown hair, he turned to me in jest, “Cat’s out of the bag now, and I’ve opened up a huge can of worms.”

  “You sure have,” I said softly. “I can’t imagine what kind of a life you’ve had David. Are you okay?” I asked, arms outstretched to hug him.

  “No, but I’ll be alright,” he replied. “I’m a big boy, remember?” he reminded me as we embraced. I could feel the pain he felt inside. “Daniel’s the one we should be worried about right now.”

  I resolved not to ask any more questions on the matter, at least not while we were waiting on the medical team to give us an indication on Daniel’s condition. Emotions were running high in more ways than one, and I didn’t want to add further anguish to the situation.

  “I’ll take these bottles back home as planned, and bring the babies back with me for a real feed,” he planned. “You need to be here when he comes to and regains consciousness.”

  “You sure you’ll be alright?” I questioned, finding it hard to hide my concern.

  “I’ll manage. It’s been just me all these years and I’m fine. About Daniel, I don’t know how to feel. I’m feeling a little cut up inside at the thought that this could be something far worse than it is. We’ve wasted a lot of time bickering and being mad at each other.”

  “You and me both,” I replied. The last bottle was done. I placed them all in the carrier bag, ready for David to take with him.

  “You’re not alone, David. I’m here with you and here for you – I’ll never let you walk alone from now on,” I assured him, standing up to embrace him again.

  “I so needed that,” he mentioned, when I hugged him. “Thank you.”

  “Thank you for being here for me, the kids, and Daniel once again,” I replied, noticing that Jolène hadn’t gone far; she stood just outside the kitchen door.

  “Don’t mention it,” he said, before heading off. “Anything changes, call me please.” He kissed me lightly on the cheek, to Jolène’s aire, and was gone.

  It was hard seeing Daniel laid up in a hospital bed, wires and tubes all round and on him. He was asleep when they allowed me to see him.

  I squeezed his hand and leaned in to kiss his cheek. He stirred in his sleep.

  The nurse came in. “He’s stable now,” she stated. “You’re Temwani, his wife?”

  I nodded to the affirmative.

  “The doctor will be in to talk to you in a moment. He’s been drifting in and out of consciousness, and we need to run a series of tests – we’re hoping to get your consent.”

  “Sure,” I replied.

  She handed me the forms with a pen.

  “He’s a lawyer?” she asked.

  “We both are,” I replied.

  “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. My brother’s a lawyer too, a
nd I know his brain is everything.”

  I smiled in response, at a bit of a loss as to what she meant.

  She sat with me at Daniel’s bedside. “It’s my role to advocate on his behalf and on your behalf as his family. Don’t let anyone push you into doing anything you don’t want to do,” she stated.

  “His brother’s a doctor,” I mentioned. “They aren’t all bad,” I added.

  “I didn’t mean that, of course they’re not,” she corrected. “It’s just in circumstances like this, there is the right thing to do according to the medical team, and the right thing to do according to the patient.”

  Clarifying further she stated, “Your husband here has a DNR or Do Not Resuscitate order on file. He has also requested no transfusions and no medical assistance that would serve to prolong his life.”

  It took me a moment to process what she’d just said. “I wasn’t aware of that,” I managed.

  “Not too many people are,” she stated. “The other thing is he’s appointed you Power of Attorney in the event that he’s not capable of making a decision on his own behalf.”

  I looked at Daniel lying there. His head had been shaved to allow for placement of electrodes. His beautiful chestnut brown hair was almost all gone. Thoughts back to the order, I realised I loved him deeply, but wanted to wring his neck. How could he have a DNR order in place when he had a family and children who wanted him alive?

  “Is there a date on this DNR order?” I asked.

  “Should be in the notes,” the nurse said, flipping through a few pages before stopping on one. “Seems like it was done just last month,” she stated.

  I was livid. Had he done it himself, or had he been coerced to do it by someone else?

  A brief knock on the door sounded before it was opened. “Doctor Collins, here. Alright for me to have a chat with you?” His English accent was quite apparent. “Hey Melissa,” he added, greeting the nurse.

  Turning to me he said, “Look I’ll put it plainly. He’s doing better, just a mild concussion after the fall, but we need to run some scans. A CAT scan and MRI to be precise.” Talking a mile a minute, he added, “He has a Do Not Resuscitate order in place. He has a few things in place which would not allow us to proceed further. But you’re Power of Attorney, what you say can override this and let us proceed.”

  I nodded in agreement, understanding full well what he was suggesting.

  “I’m in the business of saving lives,” he stated. “Not wanting to pressure you or anything, but time is of the essence here. The sooner we can get those scans done, the better.”

  “I hear you,” I stated. I was certain that the tests should be ordered to find out more about his condition, but reluctant to go against Daniel’s wishes unless it was in relation to saving his life.

  “Would you like a moment to consider?” Melissa chimed in.

  “There is not much to consider Melissa. It’s either a yay or a nay,” Doctor Collins said sharply.

  “Of course there is much to consider,” she stated. “Five minutes, and you’ll have your answer.”

  Annoyance flashed across Doctor Collins face. “Okay,” he conceded. “I’ll check in with you then.”

  Before leaving, he did a brief check on Daniel, and browsed the notes. “Time is of the essence,” he reminded me.

  I stepped out of the room to call the one person I knew would help me make sense of the situation. David.

  He picked up after several rings. I could hear the babies in the background. “Teme,” he said in his deep velvety voice. “You alright?”

  “Not really, there’s a bit of an issue here at the hospital,” I told him.

  “Pray tell.”

  “Daniel has a “Do Not Resuscitate” order in place,” I stated, crying into the phone.

  “Okay,” David said, sighing into the phone. “He should pull through this. Talk to him about it when he comes to. Maybe not straight away of course…but talk to him, sometime soon. I’ll talk to him,” he vowed.

  “Okay,” I managed.

  “Just hang tight, I’ll be there shortly,” he promised.

  I stared at the phone long after the dial tone was gone. A Do Not Resuscitate order. What was he thinking?

  I fed the babies as we sat waiting for Daniel to come to. I authorised Doctor Collins to enable IV fluids and medications that would help relieve pain when Daniel came to.

  “He’s stable now,” the doctor said. “I do need to keep him in overnight, for further observation. The MRI and CAT scan can be done while he’s here.”

  I thanked him for his quick action, and sat with David in the feeding room, comforting the babies. They had grown so much in just a few weeks. In their innocence they were unaware of the drama unfolding in our lives.

  “David, what do you plan to do about the fact that… well, you know that…you’ve known for some time that Jolène chose to abandon you and order you be terminated. Any plans to report that and press charges?”

  “No,” he stated abruptly. “I know what happened, she knows what happened, the people that matter in my life right now know what happened, and that’s all that matters,” he explained. “Reporting stuff will only lead to me needing to delve further into the details of my personal life, and I’d much rather keep that a secret.”

  “So it was a meaningless threat?” I asked, reminding him of what he’d said earlier.

  “No, I do plan to tell Daniel,” he replied. “Eventually. Or you could tell him on my behalf,” he suggested. “I’m not exactly his favorite person at the moment,” he added. “Telling him will at least get him to see that I am not out to hurt him. I’m only wanting to connect with the only sibling I have.”

  “I hear you,” I replied. “You were saying that blood is thicker than water, but sometimes friends are closer than brothers,” I told him.

  “I hear you,” he echoed. “I feel you, friend.”

  Daniel came to and initially refused to have the MRI and CAT scans done. He also refused to remain in hospital any longer. Doctor Collins compromised by referring him to the outpatient clinic, where he would have the scans done no later than a week after discharge.

  “Why are you resisting so much Daniel?” I asked.

  “I feel fine. I don’t know what y’all are worried about. Migraines are migraines. That’s all this is.”

  “It may be more than that,” David stated, “Better to know than to not know,” he said.

  “That’s your opinion,” Daniel replied. “I feel fine, and I can’t wait to get back to normality. I’ve seen enough of the inside of hospitals to last me a lifetime.”

  Examining his head in the rear view mirror he asked, “And who allowed this to happen?”

  “It had to happen Daniel. You were bleeding pretty badly and you needed to be stitched up,” I explained, noting his dismay that his hair was almost all gone.

  He frowned deeply. “I suppose it doesn’t look too terrible,” he said.

  “Would you have preferred a mohawk?” David asked.

  “No!” Daniel exclaimed.

  I laughed at the voracity of his response. “To be honest a crew cut looks pretty good on you,” I told him.

  “As long as you like it, that’s all that matters,” Daniel replied.

  “So, you go for the scan this week?” David asked.

  “Yeah, sometime this week,” Daniel replied.

  “The sooner the better,” David advised.

  Daniel nodded in agreement as we pulled into the driveway of our home. The kids were lying on the grass at the front, on a play mat while Sadie and Johnny chatted away.

  Immeasurable joy swept across Daniel’s face as he dashed over to kiss both babies and tickle their little bellies. David caught my eye and smiled sadly. “Hope he’ll be okay,” he said. “His bloods weren’t looking too good.”

  “Please continue to stay with us just in case he isn’t okay,” I insisted.

  “No problem,” he replied. “I’ll just head off and get some more
gear,” he mentioned. “If you need me to get anything from the shops, let me know.”

  “Alright,” I replied, and he said goodbye, giving me a kiss on the cheek and a wave to the others.

  I silently thanked God for David’s presence in my life, and for bringing Daniel out of the hospital and back home again. My one hope was that he would agree to the additional tests recommended by Doctor Collins. Sooner rather than later.

  “Will you be needing me tonight?” Sadie asked. “Babies seem settled enough.”

  “They do,” I replied. “No, we’ll be fine tonight.”

  “Okay. Then I’ll see you Sunday then?” Sadie asked.

  “Monday,” I corrected.

  “A night cap, Sadie?” Johnny proposed, strolling into the room from seemingly nowhere.

  “Not tonight,” she replied. “The Sabbath.”

  “Oh okay,” Johnny replied, flatly and somewhat disappointed.

  “Will you come with me to Church on Saturday?” she asked. She was a Seventh Day Adventist.

  “No,” Johnny replied firmly. “I don’t think God wants to see me in the state I’m in.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” she said, slipping on her coat. “He wants you to come as you are.”

  Johnny rushed to her side to help with her coat. “I’ll come one day,” he promised. “I’ll clean up real good before I do.”

  “Come as you are,” she repeated. Giving me a kiss on either cheek she said goodbye. “Take care Johnny,” she said, squeezing his hand lightly before heading out.

  “She’s a gem, isn’t she?” he noted.

  I nodded, agreeing with him. “She’s right about God,” I confirmed. “He’ll meet you where you are.”

  “I’m not sure I believe that,” he said. “I’m not someone worth saving.”

  It saddened me that he felt that way.

  “Enough about me,” he said. “Tell me, what are your plans moving forward, now the babies will soon be better able to manage without you? Planning on going back to the firm?”

  “Working with Craig’s going to be a challenge after the way he’s treated you and Daniel, but yes, I’m planning on going back. We need the money. Plus it’s Daniel’s firm too, Craig can’t just take it over completely. He needs to be reminded of that.”