“Rose. Tell me about Rose,” I say, as she removes my restraints.
“I couldn’t be sure she’d be protected if she was in jail. Between us still rounding up those loyal to the Sheriff, and not knowing at first who was behind it all, I didn’t want to put her at risk. I knew I could protect her in the hospital, and she was already struggling for control.”
“You pushed her over?” I ask, not hiding my anger.
“No, but I told her to stop fighting what was happening.”
“Why would you do that? What if we can’t bring her back?”
“She’s going to bring herself back, Ares. She has it in her, and she needs to know she can do it.”
“Well, fuck. If I didn’t know why you lead these women before, I do now.”
“I’m wrong a lot of the time, but not about this.”
“When can I see her?”
“We have a plan in place, and we’ll know later today if it works. Kenny’s getting you released to his care, which means we’ll take you to our hospital wing. If everything works out, we’ll bring her there in a couple days.”
It’s a couple days too long, but I’ll keep myself busy with figuring out just how badly Jerome has been fucking with me. I trusted him, never thinking he would be bitter, or resent my success. He was paid well, he got invites to most of the parties I went to, and I never saw him without a woman. I guess perspective really is everything. And now I remember he said “we” which means he didn’t work alone.
“Wait, who else was in on it?”
“Alec and Paulie, along with Diven. Most of the crew knew about it as well. They’re all locked down for the moment.”
“Damn.”
“You parents are anxious to see you. I’m going to let them in, and work on what I need to.”
“Thank you, Rei. For me, and for her.”
“Just give her a chance, Ares. Please. Do that for me, and we’ll be even.”
“You don’t even have to ask.”
She nods, and opens the door to my parents. “I’m fine, Mama,” I tell her, before she engulfs me in a giant hug.
“You were in a crash, and are most certainly not ‘fine’.”
“Okay, so that was an exaggeration, but I’m not feeling as bad as I could be, and I’m alive.”
“Can we talk about your woman, and the Secret Service?” my dad asks.
“Yes, we can talk about them,” I say, with a smile.
I’m happy to talk all day about Rose fighting to get to me, and exposing the men who tried to kill us both. I just have to pray Reina’s right, and she can bring herself back. I believe in her, but she’s going to need to believe in herself enough to make it happen.
13
Rose
9. 54. 61.
I feel myself being moved to my feet. No one has touched me since I was put in this room, with an IV inserted in my thigh for nourishment, and my arms encased in a Straitjacket. I’ve been a prisoner, but I didn’t really notice it. Touching me has left me lucid for just a moment, but the numbers come back to protect me.
9. 54. 61.
9. 54. 61.
9. 54. 61.
“She’s dangerous,” I hear someone say, as I’m grabbed roughly by the arm.
9. 54. 61.
“I am vouching for her. I will take complete responsibility for her.” Matt. It’s Matt’s voice I hear, and I try to hold on.
I don’t know the voice that answers him. “You don’t have enough money to cover the lawsuits she’ll have if she goes crazy again.”
“Combined, we do.”
Gary Griffin. He’s here, too, helping me. I need to help myself now, though. I try to hold onto thoughts, and not just numbers.
9. 54. 61.
Ares. Petal.
43. 9. 54. 61. 43.
No, that’s not it. That won’t hold.
43.
“Let yourself go, and when it’s time, you’ll bring yourself back.”
That’s it. I need to help my mind, while these men I love and trust help my body. I can do this. I. Can. Do. This.
9. 54. 61.
I. Can. Do. This.
43.
I. Can. Do. This.
Come on, Rose. Fight harder for yourself. You’ve got this. Save yourself.
I startle awake, blinking my eyes rapidly. I see Matt, Gary, and someone in a doctor’s coat. We’re in a room that’s all white, and I know it’s been my home for however long I’ve been here.
“Welcome back, beautiful,” Matt tells me.
“Rosie, we’ve missed you,” Gary says.
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“What, she’s miraculously fixed now, and I should just let her go?” the doctor asks, glaring at all of us.
“What she is, isn’t your business any longer, and you’re going to let her go because those court documents right there are ordering you to,” Gary tells him.
“Good luck,” he says, walking out the door.
Matt and Gary remove my arms from the straight jacket, but I can’t really move them yet. “Activate your healers,” Matt reminds me as he removes the IV from my leg.
“Thanks for the reminder,” I say, pressing on my arm.
“Welcome.”
As we walk out of the room, the two men flank me on either side, while I rub my arms, which are already feeling better. I ignore the looks on the faces of the nurses and doctors we pass, because they don’t mean anything to me, and I plan to never have to see them again.
I’m tired, with a fatigue I’ve never experienced before, and I wonder if I even slept. I still don’t know how long I was here, but I have other questions I need answers to.
“Where’s Reina?”
“Tying up the loose ends of everything that happened. We decided it would be better for Gary and I to come here, since men are still seen as stronger.”
“If they only knew.”
“Indeed,” Gary agrees, helping me into the backseat of Matt’s truck.
“Where are we going?”
“A certain God of War has been impatiently waiting for us to break you out.”
“Ares is okay? I wanted to ask that first, but I was scared.”
“Yes. He’s not quite a god, but he was in great shape, and the paramedics got to him pretty quickly. He’s also been at C&C for the past two days, so Kenny’s got the magic juice in him.”
“Two days? How long was I…there?”
“Almost a week.”
A week? I let myself get lost for that long? How could I do that?
No. I need to stop thinking that way, because I brought myself back. I did what Reina knew I could do, and now I finally believe her. I may not have perfect control over what happens to me, but I hold more power than I’ve ever given myself credit for.
Ares
Kenny makes me sit in a wheelchair as we all wait for Rose to arrive. Our friends line the hallway, and when the elevator doors open, they all start clapping. I can’t get my hands to work as I watch her walk through them, hugging each one, and smiling at them. I want a smile, a look, anything, but she’s ignoring me.
Reina squeezes my shoulder as Rose finally reaches us. “Welcome home.”
“I did it.”
“Of course you did.”
“Did what I gave you help? Did you figure it out?”
“Yes, to both.”
She closes her eyes, and sighs. “Thank God.”
“I’ll come check on you later.”
Reina walks away, and Rose finally looks down at me. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Can we go into your room?”
“Sure.”
I stand up, ignoring Kenny as he gives me his best mean doctor look, and lead her into the room behind me. She closes the door, then sags against it.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, alarm evident in my voice.
“I’m just really tired. I’m not sure I even slept while I was in there.”
“Come lie down with me.”
“You don’t have to offer.”
“I haven’t had you in my arms for a couple weeks, and I almost died, Rose. Don’t deny me in my fragile state.”
She rolls her eyes, but comes to me, climbing into my arms, and placing her head on my shoulder. It feels so good, I almost moan out loud.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her.
“What are you apologizing for?”
“Letting a bunch of women say they slept with me, when they didn’t. Not making a statement when you needed me to. Not trying to understand where you were coming from. There’s probably more, but those are the main things.”
“You didn’t sleep with them? Why?”
I’m done pretending, so I tell her the truth.
“I saw you on one of your first days here, and it was like all my fantasies had to come to life. I never got you out of my head after finding you in my garage. I knew I had to prove I wasn’t the same guy you knew me to be, so I stopped sleeping with women. It worked for a couple months, but then it was all the press would ask me, or talk about. People on the street stopped to ask me, too. They thought I was sick, or gay, or hiding something else. I tried to be different, and no one accepted it.”
“Wow. People suck.”
“Tell me about it. I still didn’t want to sleep with anyone but you, but I came up with a plan to appease everyone. The women mostly just wanted to be able to say they’d been with me, so I let them. The ones who wanted more got turned away with an excuse, but I told them they could say it, too. I thought I was doing something good, until I was on a plane and Googled myself for the first time in years. I saw what you’d been seeing, and it gutted me. I’m so sorry you believed I hadn’t changed. I understand why you didn’t trust what I was telling you.”
“That’s why you wouldn’t make a statement, isn’t it? You promised not to contradict the women?”
“Yeah.”
“I wish I’d known, but lots of things make sense now.”
“I really am sorry.”
“I know. I’m sorry, too, but my explanations are going to take a lot longer.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Okay.”
Rose
I don’t know where to start, so I just begin to talk.
“I pretend to fit in with everyone, and usually it works, but sometimes I get into situations I can’t handle, and my brain tries to take over to protect me. Because of that, I distance myself, and don’t let myself act on emotions, or even feel emotions sometimes. I hide it pretty well, but with you, I find it hard to hide anything, and it seems to make it worse.”
“Shit.”
“No! I’m saying it wrong. I mean, you center me, but also make me nervous, so I put up walls to protect myself.”
He still looks confused, and then he smirks. “Sex with me centers you, doesn’t it?”
“Yes. Just the thought of you being inside of me keeps me grounded, but I know it comes across as using you. I guess it is, but sometimes, I just can’t help it. One time with you, and I’m free from the numbers in my mind for days, or sometimes even weeks. The last time we were together, I was so scared, and freaked out, and I knew if you were inside of me, I’d calm down.”
“You weren’t calm, Petal.”
“My mind was.”
“No numbers?”
“None at all.”
“If we can have more than that, I might not mind being used when you need me.”
“I want more. I’ve always wanted more, but I thought I wasn’t your type, or you’d get bored with me when you had so many choices.”
“Not a chance.”
“I’ve acted so badly, because I was scared. I’m still a little scared but you said something to me, and I believe you. 9. 54. 61. I love you too, Ares. I don’t know if I can be the girlfriend you deserve me to be, but I promise to try.”
“You believe me, but do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to let me tell the world I love you?”
“Reina said I could, so yes.”
“I want to hold your hand, and fill your dance card, and kiss you when you help me win a race. I want to be there when the numbers come, and even though they don’t come naturally, I’ll try to talk to you that way. I want all that, but I’m running a little scared now over here. I have to admit that.”
“I understand,” I tell him, because I do. I was scared for so long, while he put himself out there. Now, I want it all, but I have to be patient. Something I’m not really good at, but for him, I’ll do my best. I need to know more, though. “How do you know about the numbers? Did Reina tell you?”
“Do you really think Reina would tell me your secret?”
“No, but how?”
“When I was younger, my parents and I vacationed in Tucson. There was this cool old man, Jay, who I met one day at the store. He was chatting with anyone who would talk to him, and later, I saw him sitting and doing a crossword puzzle. I went back the next day, and there he was again. I started talking to him, and he told me he loved puzzles, and talking to people. On my last day, he was doing something different. He had a paper full of words and numbers. When I asked him what he was doing, he said all words are also numbers, and he liked to figure them out.”
“Really?”
“Yes. He did it as a game, although I have a feeling it was more to him. Like, maybe it helped ground him, and his mind. His daughter lives here in Las Vegas now, and she reached out. She told me he died of complications from Alzheimer’s several years ago, and how it made her sad to think of his mind leaving him, and how scared he was by it.”
“Mine isn’t a game, and I have to work to control it. My brain takes over when I’m stressed, or nervous. I think of it as my mind protecting me. The Society doctors have helped me with exercises to control it, and I was able to come back on my own, so I know I can do it, but it still scares me. I don’t want to take medicine to suppress it, because what if that suppresses other thoughts and feelings? Reina says she trusts me on missions, and I seem to do okay with Society stuff, because I have to really focus on everything, so there’s no chance for my mind to wander, or for me to even get stressed when I’m trying to save someone. But yeah, I’m terrified of getting Alzheimer’s and having my mind turn on me.”
“I have so much respect for you, Rose, and how you’ve fought to keep control of yourself.”
“You don’t think I’m crazy, or damaged?” I ask, looking down, because I can’t see it in his eyes.
He doesn’t let me hide, though, gently bringing my face back up to his. “Never. I have never thought that, and if anyone so much as hints as something like that, I will lay them flat. Your mind is perfect just the way it is. Beautiful, complex, and perfect.”
He wipes my tears with his thumbs as I cry, holding my eyes so I know he means it. “I-I thought I couldn’t measure up to the other women. They look so pretty, and they don’t count when they’re nervous.”
“You are one of the most gorgeous women I have ever laid eyes on, and as for counting, who cares what other people do or don’t do? Everyone copes in their own way. You have no one to measure up to, Petal, because for me there’s only you.”
“You said you’re not sure about us.”
“I’m going to be honest here, and let you know you’ve hurt me.”
“I know,” I say, crying even harder.
“I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, I just need you to understand where I’m coming from. I let you all the way into my heart, and soul, and you didn’t appreciate that—or me. It nearly killed me to walk away from you at the party, but I had to. I want to just tell you it’s all okay, and I can open up to you like that again, but if you treat me like your whore again, I won’t survive. I know you care, I do, but I also know it scares you.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, pulling out of his arms, and stumbling to the door. He calls after me, but I ignore him.
I’ve said it already
, and I’ll say it a million times if I have to, but I know it’s not enough. He needs to believe it, just like I needed to believe he loves me. I’ll do whatever it takes, but somehow, I’ll prove it to him. I have to.
Everyone’s waiting outside the door, and Luke comes forward like he’s going to charge into the room, and kill Ares. “No, Luke. I did this. I already told you that.”
“I know what you told us, and I know what he told me and the guys, too. I understand you’re not blameless in all of this, but he needs to take some responsibility.”
“He has.”
“Then why the fuck are you running out of his room crying?”
“Because no one deserves what I did to him, and I don’t know how to make it right,” I say as he pulls me into his arms.
14
Ares
I’m getting released today, and even though I know Rose is still resting in the room next to mine, I can’t bring myself to walk through that door, and see her. Watching her run crying from my room yesterday crushed me, but I had to let her go. My dignity is hanging on by a thread, and I need to find my mojo—or at least my pride—before I talk to her again.
“Got a minute, Ares?” Reina asks as I pack up the duffle Stella brought me.
“It’s your place,” I answer, shrugging like it’s no big deal, when it really is.
“When I threw you in the room at that party, I expected all of this to go in a different direction.”
“Best laid plans and all.”
“Your crew and Reece Diven are all turning on each other. X tracked down the team who made the computer devices, and we made sure they’ll never do anything like this again. Selling something so dangerous to the highest bidder is irresponsible, and will always have consequences. I don’t even want to think about what would happen if people on the street could use satellites to track a car, and take control of it, or disable it.”
“Are they still breathing?”
“Yes, but they don’t even remember how to move a mouse.”
“Harsh, but necessary.”
“Yes.”
“My being thrown over by people I thought were friends, and barely surviving a car crash, isn’t all you’re here to see me about.”
Society Girls: Rose Page 10