Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  Oses’s stare was dark, the deep purple of his irises all but hidden behind his dilated catlike pupils. His wet lips parted, displaying his unhinged fangs. The thin, pointed tips peeked out at me from behind front square teeth. His chest rose and fell quickly. He resembled barely contained energy and trembled slightly, as if forcing himself to be still for my attentions. I had the notion he thought about grabbing me about my skull, the better to shove his cock quick and demandingly into my mouth.

  He didn’t, but the thought of the restrained violence made my pussy slick as I mouthed his primary cock. Knowing Oses had the ability to take me however he wanted was more than adequate to excite me. I was so vulnerable, so helpless against his brute strength. Somehow that understanding, coupled with the realization he would not use it to harm me, had me as excited as if he’d stroked my clit. That odd mixture of danger and security made me want him more than ever.

  When Oses slid his hands beneath my armpits to lift me to my feet, the insides of my thighs were slick. He moved me onto his sleeping mat so that I laid on my back.

  “No talking,” the Nobek told me. He positioned himself so that his mouth hovered just over my pussy. “All I want to hear are your moans as you come for me.”

  He levered my legs so that they draped over his huge shoulders. Then he enveloped my cunt’s lips in a thorough lover’s kiss that got him those moans immediately.

  I’d tried to be the best oral sex giver in the cosmos minutes before, but Oses had me beat by a mile. His wicked tongue found every nook and cranny of my pussy. Not a single iota of my trembling lips was missed as he licked, mouthed, nibbled, sucked...oh you name it, he did it. By turns he was tender then demanding. One moment I sighed to receive the gentlest kiss on my clit, the next I yelled when his tongue stabbed in and out of my core, fucking me.

  Oses hadn’t told me to stay still or keep my hands to myself, so I didn’t. That Nobek got his hair pulled, his neck and shoulders scratched, and his back kicked. He never let up for a moment or seemed to notice my wild jerks. He refused to lose an instant of what he was doing to me, hanging on like a stubborn tick while I writhed beneath him.

  I was arcing up towards orgasm at a steady pace, probably only a few minutes from it, when Oses shoved two thick fingers in my pussy. He sucked my clit deep into his mouth, his tongue lashing it unmercifully all the while. I went from future climax to right-the-fuck-now climax. Within seconds of him hammering my cunt and rubbing my clit, I was screaming my head off. Ecstasy slammed into my groin, engulfing me in strong throbs of wondrous release. Pleasure rose and fell, rose and fell, a thunderous tide. Bit by bit, it tapered to slower, gentler washes that lapped delicately throughout my body.

  I sighed happy and sated as Oses’s touch slipped from my sheath. He chuckled to find me so relaxed and loose-limbed on his bed. “Was it good, pet?”

  “The best,” I answered. I relaxed into compliance as he teased my anus with slick fingers. I thought Oses was ready to claim his turn as soon as I was stretched properly.

  I thought wrong.

  With a finger working to ease me open, Oses went down again to eat pussy. When I say eat, I mean freakin’ gobble. He fucking feasted on my crotch as no man ever had before. His tongue and mouth...oh. I don’t know how to describe what he was doing. He seized my clit between fingers and thumb and rubbed me straight to glory. I hadn’t caught my breath from the last climax before the next roared through me.

  Oses continued to work at me with a will. No sooner would an upheaval end but another arrived to take its place. I was dimly aware that the finger in my ass became two, then three. Maybe he stuffed in more; I couldn’t have said. Not with that brutal mouth sucking and slurping, not with that tongue fucking me, not with the other hand stroking my poor swollen clit. I yanked some of Oses’s hair out. I later found the strands stuck between my fingers. It failed to stop him, no more than my crazed bucking and shrieks did. I don’t think he noticed.

  Oses finally lifted his face from my crotch, his lips smeared with my honey. Licking them clean, he got up off the mat and went to the wall to search through a drawer. All I could do was sprawl gasping on the bed. I had no strength to move. My twat ached; whether from the frenzied cunnilingus or devastating orgasms, I couldn’t tell. I was demolished.

  Oses turned to me, pulling a long wandlike device from the drawer. At the end of its length was what reminded me of a fuzzy white tennis ball. Staring at me, he pushed a button on the wand. The tennis ball hummed to life, vibrating eagerly. The Nobek took a step towards me.

  I found a burst of energy. In an instant, I scrambled across the mat, rushing for the door and not caring that I was as naked as the day I was born. In a panic to avoid being made to climax any more, I moved fast.

  Oses moved faster.

  I was halfway off the bed when his hand closed around my ankle. He didn’t yank me or pull hard or do anything dangerous to my person. Instead, he dragged me inexorably up onto the mat, slow and steady, his gaze bright with excitement.

  “You don’t run from a Nobek, Shalia.” His voice was the growliest I’d ever heard from him. “Now I really want to make you scream.”

  But I couldn’t help but fight to escape. Damn it, my lady bits throbbed from what Oses had already done to me. A vibrator was going to make it worse.

  Oses waited to let me have it only long enough to get me safely on the mat, where thrashing around wouldn’t hurt me. He was vicious but caring in his brutal fashion. Does that make any sense? I’m certain it doesn’t.

  At any rate, I was on my hands and a knee, trying to pull myself free from that hand on my ankle, when he got me near to use the wand. All of the sudden, deep vibrations nestled against my clit, shocking it into brutal awareness once more. I screamed as my pussy drew itself up to that awful, wonderful thrumming. My cunt was a moth to a flame with that thing; the vibrator meant utter destruction but Pussy had to have it.

  I came in a heaving mass of anguished nirvana. My elbows unhinged, spilling me face-first into the bed linens, which muffled my screams. All strength bled out of me as every ounce of energy condensed in my guts to expel monstrous orgasms.

  I’d come hard enough to go blank before in the past. This time a black hole swallowed me, a black hole filled with jagged-glass sensation that was as much pain as pleasure.

  I returned to sense as Oses rolled me onto my back. The vibrator was gone, thank the prophets, but that hungry Nobek was there, his cocks twin battering rams as he crouched over me.

  “No,” I moaned. “No.”

  He paused. His pupils were huge, swallowing up the purple irises. His lips were parted, showing that his fangs were down. Veins stood out on those monstrous muscles of his. Oses looked more animal than man. Yet he stopped and watched me carefully.

  “If you truly can’t handle it, say sholt.”

  His cocks were livid and purple with need. That Nobek showed every sign that he was ready to explode. Yet he somehow insisted on me remembering I could stop him. Somewhere in there, Oses maintained a thread of sanity, to put me and what I needed first.

  I’d been his Matara on Finiuld’s ship, his to protect, to die and kill for. I realized then that maybe it hadn’t ended with our rescue after all...for either of us.

  Damn it, I’m not a great person, but I take care of mine too. My pussy could have been on the verge of falling off of me, but I wouldn’t deny Oses what he so clearly needed. I reached toward him.

  “Your pet wants her master.”

  Even then, Oses hesitated. “You are sure?”

  “Yes, Master.”

  That was all he needed to hear. Trembling from top to toe with restrained arousal, Oses entered me with care more suited to an Imdiko. I appreciated the tenderness, given how swollen and sensitive I’d become. I murmured sweet words as he slid in and out of me, stroking his working face with my fingertips, running my hands over his massive, scarred chest, playing with his dark brown nipples to make him shout. He came minutes later, screaming every
bit as much as he’d forced me to scream.

  I believe I healed a little bit through our encounter. I’d been reminded throughout our romp of what had happened in the Ofetuchan ship. Yet it hadn’t shattered me or ruined any of the sex. Instead, it reminded me of the tiny bright points of our captivity. In Oses, I had a man who put me and my child above his own safety. I belonged to someone who would lay down his life for me. Even if he couldn’t keep my body safe, Oses could keep pieces of my heart and soul intact.

  I fell in love with him despite all my best attempts to not do so. Yet it’s a weird kind of love because I will let Oses go. He has no clan. His is a dangerous world out here in space, a world that suits him too perfectly to ask him to give it up. It’s a world I don’t dare ask my child to share in. Oses and I cannot be together beyond this trip, and I accept that.

  Somehow, it’s okay. The kind of bond we share was created during a damaging period. I can’t imagine us in a nice little house with the white picket fence and a dog, not after the horror of Little Creep. I can love this beast of a Nobek without feeling the ripped-apart angst I experienced when I lost Clan Dusa. I can love him, and I can leave. I’ll feel the loss when the time comes, but I’ll feel more the gratitude and deep, abiding joy that I shared this small moment with Oses.

  These thoughts drifted through my head as we showered together, had dinner, and then crawled into Oses’s bed to get some rest. I’d wanted to sleep well for a change. I damned sure got my wish. I had no nightmares.

  April 3, later

  Oses dropped by my quarters in the middle of the day today. I was as glad to see him as if it had been a week since we last got together. He showed up at my door and I greeted him with an enthusiastic smooch. You’d never suspect we were frisky just the night before.

  Sleeping eight hours straight with no bad dreams does wonders for a girl. I’m upbeat and enthusiastic today. I’ve asked Candy and Katrina go through ship’s stores with me tomorrow to search for baby things. Betra inquired on my behalf to the acquisitions officer, and he confirmed there are some infant clothes and paraphernalia on board. I’m excited at what I can find for my little one.

  But I was talking about Oses stopping by, wasn’t I? I wasn’t the only person who looked as if last night did bountiful good. I hadn’t realized my Nobek sweetheart had been sporting deep circles under his eyes, or how strained his overall appearance had become until I noticed him looking so much better this afternoon. He’s lost some weight too. At any rate, he acted more at ease and healthier than he’s been in too long.

  Note to self: have Betra check on Oses to be certain he’s doing okay. Those Nobeks don’t care to admit to weakness, but even Big, Bad, and Beastly needs a friend to talk to. He needs to vent to another man who cares about him. Betra has known Oses far longer than I have. As a fellow crewmember in an occasionally hostile situation, he has to have insight I don’t.

  Oses acted particularly happy to get a kiss. I felt his happiness poking me in the stomach as I clung, my arms slung around his neck. He hadn’t quite made it into my quarters; the door was open and anyone who wandered the corridor could notice us. I didn’t care.

  Neither did Oses. He returned my kiss with interest and chuckled when we broke apart. “I’m glad to see you too, pet,” he told me. “You make me wish I wasn’t on duty.”

  “What brings you wandering past Shalia Land?” I asked, tugging him into my sitting room. The door shut behind him, and we were alone. I was a little disappointed I wouldn’t be able to crawl all over him. My hormones were cooking on high once again.

  “I’m doing a security tour of the ship. I had a message for you, so I decided to deliver it in person rather than on the com.”

  I sighed and ran my fingers over his chest to clue him in on where my thoughts were. Okay, my thoughts were aimed at a part south of Oses’s chest, but I didn’t want to tease him too much. It wouldn’t be nice to send the brute back to work with a boner.

  Oses grinned, a real big lusty smile just for me. He looked almost like pre-Finiuld Oses in that moment. I can’t begin to say how happy it made me.

  I said, “So what did you come to tell me? Get it out and then you get out, because you are entirely too delicious to have my hands on and not be allowed to enjoy.”

  He snickered, amused by my antics. “I need you to go visit Dr. Feru today.”

  That cooled my jets a bit. “What for? Don’t tell me you think I’m loopy again, because I’m doing better than—”

  Oses put a finger over my mouth to silence me. “You’re doing perfectly fine. You’re required to re-take your psychological exam so I can clear you to resume blaster training.”

  “Oh.” That made sense. I was delighted to hear Oses felt I was ready to return to the swing of things. “That would be great! Katrina has completed her training, and Candy is pretty sure she’ll ace her final test in a few days. I have a lot of catching up to do.”

  “Yes, you do. Dr. Feru expects you in his office in an hour.”

  “Okay.” I eyed Oses speculatively. “I wonder how I could pass the time until then?”

  The Nobek offered me a bland stare, though his eyes gleamed with amusement. “I suggest you make it a solo activity. I have to return to work.”

  I blew a raspberry at him. He swatted my ass and kissed me before taking that fine body away.

  I took the psych test and passed it with flying colors. I also complained about the sedative Dr. Feru had given me.

  “Hallucinations?” He frowned. “I’ve never known it to cause that kind of side effect in Earthers or Kalquorians. It inhibits the part of the brain that dreams, so it shouldn’t allow that.”

  “Okay, so I woke up and this big, dark, and scary shape was in my room with me. It disappeared into the shadows.” I rolled my eyes at him. “Some people are seeing ghosts on the ship. Maybe your honored dead are paying me visits.”

  Dr. Feru stared at me, no doubt thinking I was making fun of him. After a moment he shook his head and gave me a different sedative to try. He advised he’d forward his clearance for me to resume blaster training, though I could tell he was second-guessing the test results.

  Doctors. Why do they feel that they have all the answers when we patients have the proof?

  April 4, fucking early o’clock

  What the fuck is going on???

  Now I wish I’d taken the sedative Dr. Feru prescribed me. But no, I had to be tough Shalia. I was positive I’d beaten the stupid nightmares. I showed them who was boss by not taking the drugs and sleeping all alone in my quarters despite invites from Candy, Betra, and Oses. I even turned my lights almost all the way down. Damn right I did. I left the room as close to pitch black as it could be while giving myself enough light to find the lavatory if I needed it. Now it’s the middle of the night and I’m wide awake, cowering in my bed. There were no nightmares, but real life is doing a number on me now.

  I think I saw the ghost.

  I saw something, damn it. It wasn’t a dream and it wasn’t a hallucination. It was in my room and it was real. I have proof. I’m staring at the evidence.

  I should com Betra. He’s on call day and night. First I have to stop shaking. I’m tired of being fragile Shalia. I want to be my old tough pre-kidnapping self again. If I can’t be that Shalia, I need to at least fake it. As soon as I stop shaking, I’ll com my liaison and show him that someone or some creature was in my quarters. And it can disappear into thin air.

  I woke up about twenty minutes ago. I had the idea that I’d been touched, a slight contact brushing against my face, but I felt nothing when I swam into consciousness. My heart was hammering as it had the other night, when the sedation had left me frozen solid in my bed. At first, I tried to console myself that I was having another weird medication-inspired trip. It took a few seconds for me to remember I hadn’t taken anything. I was trying to be old Shalia. I was trying to not be damaged anymore.

  I sat up, and that’s when I observed the dark shape again. The huge b
lack shadow that loomed like some mighty beast was there. It was blacker than the other shadows, all hunched up as if it could escape my stare. Last time it had been near the doorway. This round, it was in the corner closest to my bed. All that stood between me and it was a bunch of shelves and the crap I had cluttered on them.

  I couldn’t scream. Hell, I couldn’t breathe for the next few seconds. Every fiber of my being was yelling twenty different things at once: Run! Attack! Call for help! Confront it!

  Meanwhile, that – thing simply stood as still as a statue, every bit as frozen as I was. When I could breathe again, my voice was an awful whispery thing, as terrified as a small child’s. “Who’s there?” I quavered.

  No answer. It didn’t move.