Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  Betra looked as if he were growing angry. It was a crazy idea, no doubt. I had another concern, which I voiced before the Imdiko could give Oses the verbal tongue lashing he was no doubt planning to unleash.

  “Oses, you can’t want to touch me. Not with this – this awful thing on me. In me.”

  The Nobek looked at me. There was love in his gaze, but not the soft dewdrop adoration of poetry. Not a sappy, silly devotion. This was the harsh love of a man who would kill in its name. It was an uncompromising ardor that declared nothing would stop Oses from doing what had to be done to shelter me.

  “It is not you,” he said. “The invader can never steal you from me. Nothing, not even death can rob you from my heart. I see only you, Shalia. The It cannot change that, and it cannot have the part of you that matters most. If the only way I can show you that is through lovemaking, then that is what I’ll do.”

  With that, he buried his face in my pussy. My instincts were to buck him off, to slug him, to pull on his hair to get him off me. Yet I was helpless to do anything but take it.

  That thought was enough to switch my gears. My mouth had been opening to tell Betra to kick the Nobek’s ass when I realized there was nothing I could do physically to ward Oses off. Damn the man, he’d been correct about that being among my triggers. My pussy gave an insistent throb of need.

  Even now, I’m not sure how lust could have overcome my terrors. It could have been the passion I’d seen from Oses. Or it could have simply been an animal instinct to hide, at least emotionally, from what tormented me. Whatever it was, it had me gasping all of the sudden as desire lit its familiar but wondrous fire.

  I moaned, my vision turning hazy as I looked at the dark head moving between my legs. Lips, tongue, and teeth worked my sweetest flesh. Oses’s breath was warm on me, its heat seeping into my core.

  I guess my reaction to those most intimate kisses convinced Betra that Oses was on the right track. The Imdiko’s mouth found mine, and his hands curled over my breasts. While Oses concentrated his delicious attack on parts south, Betra handled everything from the waist up.

  They played over my body, easing me away from the horror for too brief a time. It was the best they could do however, and I sank into the pleasuring with gratitude.

  With a hand moving over my belly, as if he sought to comfort the child in me, Betra teased and tormented my breasts. One moment he nipped and pinched. The next he kissed and caressed. Then he sucked and squeezed. The sensations went from twinges of pain to soft pleasure to stabs of excitement. Each bled into the other until it was a continuous pulse of bliss that suffused all of me.

  Meanwhile, Oses plied me with fingers and mouth. His fingers worked in and out slowly, putting pressure on all the best, most sensitive parts. His lips surrounded my clit, sucking it in, trapping it carefully between his teeth, and lashing it with his tongue.

  I lay beneath the men, unable to move. Rapture swelled within me as they took advantage of my inability to even twitch, devouring my frozen flesh until billowing delight shattered me. When those first surges of ecstasy quieted, they resumed with more intensity than before. They made me climax twice more before they deemed their work done.

  I floated in a hazy aftermath, sated and my mind quiet. I felt strangely secure as Oses and Betra straightened my nightgown and bed sheets, making me presentable once more.

  Some semblance of sanity asserted itself. It told me my lovers would protect me as best they could. If the day came when they no longer could ensure my safety, then they would guarantee my child’s well-being. With my earlier hysteria bled out, I could think again. Thanks to Oses and Betra, I once more knew exactly where everything that mattered most to me stood. The universe was a catastrophic fuck-all, but at least now I had stable bits to keep me sane.

  May 21

  Today could have been better.

  Tep decided to do some of his tests with me conscious. That was fine and dandy for the blood tests, urine analysis, that kind of thing. For grabbing skin samples from the It and me, local anesthesia was employed. It didn’t go so well.

  I was never in pain. However, the It does not want to be tested, not when it’s aware of what’s going on. It had a few surprises in store for us all.

  I first sensed it stirring as a separate entity when Tep programmed the medi-bed computer to take blood. When activated, the medi-bed sends one or two ‘arms’ to move from beneath the bed to cover the patient. These arms are panels that contain computers, injectors to deliver medicine, scanners, and extractors...for the samples Tep needed. I had both panels over me for the tests. One arched over my chest, and the other covered my abdomen.

  “I might keep these panels in place to track where those alien feeder veins are going,” Tep told me. “That way, scanners will pick up if they start moving in the direction of the baby.”

  “Sounds great,” I said absently. I was interested in what he had to say, particularly when it came to my daughter. However, I had detected some concern and a twinge of anger from the It.

  Oses and Betra were there. So was a squad of four security Nobeks, led by Oses’s second Ebnad. They were present as a precaution. I was in partial stasis, frozen from the neck down. How much trouble could I cause?

  I didn’t wish to find out there was a scary answer to that, so I duly reported, “The It is aware of what’s happening. It’s not happy.”

  Dr. Feru, the psychologist who was helping Oses and me get past our PTSD of being kidnapped and held prisoner, was also in attendance. He moved closer, his kind face concerned. “Is it separate from your thoughts, or do you feel them as your own?”

  “Separate. It can damned well stay that way too.”

  Feru grinned at my bravado. I wasn’t being bad-ass to impress anyone, though. I had to be strong to protect us all, my baby the most.

  “Blood sampling complete,” the bed’s computer reported in Kalquorian. I frowned. I hadn’t gotten so far in my language lessons to understand it so easily. The It still felt separate. Was I retaining some of the things it had learned when it infiltrated the ship’s systems?

  “Send samples to lab,” Tep told the computer. “Tag it as first priority.”

  “Acknowledged.”

  “Set for local anesthesia. Left arm and lower abdomen.”

  “Scan indicates alien exoskeleton on subject’s left arm, requiring piercing of bone. Continue with procedure?”

  “Confirmed.”

  “Carve the damned thing off if you want to,” I muttered.

  Tep arched a brow at me. “I’d prefer to recover you in one piece.”

  I detected a couple of tiny pinpricks on either side of my belly. No sensation from my arm, but there was a jolt from the It. Its need to fight was on the rise.

  “Somebody’s getting cranky,” I warned. “It’s about to resist.”

  Feru cupped the top of my head with his palm. “Let me know if the sensations you receive from the parasite start resembling your own thoughts.”

  He hoped to talk to the It if it gained control over me. From the nightmares and the bit of thought I’d experience from my unwelcome guest, I doubted he would find his efforts useful. The It couldn’t be reasoned with. It had a goal, and the goal was to destroy. That’s what it had been made to do. I thought the only real question that needed answering was, who had made it? And did its creator know how to reverse its effects on me and Candy?

  My stomach went numb. Tep ordered the panels to collect samples of the exoskeleton, the feeder veins, skin, and placenta. That’s when the It went full-blown crazy.

  Rage filled my skull. It was enough that I couldn’t transform this body as quickly as I was programmed to do. It was unthinkable they had captured the other like me and sent it to sleep. For them to believe I would allow them to test me in an effort to find a weakness? No. I could not be stopped. I would not be stopped, not by these weakling creatures.

  Then I was back to Shalia, tearing myself free of the It to shout a warning. “I’m losing
myself to it!”

  I had two separate consciousnesses in my skull, both fighting for supremacy. Feru was asking or telling me something, but I couldn’t pay any attention to him. I had to stop this thing from erasing me from existence. I was terrified that would be what happened if I gave an inch to the It.

  From then on, it was the two of us shouting from the same mouth. One moment I was saying, “It feels it can get free. Watch out!” Then the It vented its rage with, “Lower creatures will be eliminated. Purity will be maintained! Order will prevail!”

  The It was trying to assert itself on my brain. It didn’t hurt, but I could almost sense a clawing, a grasping, a bid to grab a real foothold over my psyche.

  “No! I won’t let you! My name is Shalia Elizabeth Monroe. My name is Shalia Elizabeth Monroe. My name is—”

  I interrupted myself with the It’s big play, which none of us saw coming. In perfect Kalquorian, words shot from my lips like machine gun bullets. “Emergency override of all Medical systems. Dr. Imdiko Tep authorization one-five-zero-four—”

  Over me, Tep’s eyes widened in horror the instant I started speaking. As I yelled his authorization code he shouted, “Voice recognition! Cancel emergency override! Erase Tep authorization from the system, security protocol!”

  Ebnad roared, “Acting Weapons Commander Ebnad confirmation of head medic’s removal, authorization beta-seven-three-three!”

  “-seven-two-delta!” I finished screaming.

  There was absolute silence. Then the computer said in its usual flat, emotionless tone, “Head Medic Tep’s authorization erased from system. Dr. Zaw currently with sole full Medical systems authorization.”

  Before the It could start rattling off more codes, I yelled, “It has all the authorization passes for this department. You have to take them all out.”

  “Fuck!” Ebnad swore before using his security pass to yank the whole system, minus the stasis fields, offline. Fortunately for us all, none of the patients in Medical were in life-threatening situations. I didn’t have Ebnad’s security codes, so I couldn’t disable the stasis field holding me prisoner. That had been my primary objective.

  Oses stepped forward, gazing down at me gravely. “How much of the ship’s systems has the It gained access to?” he asked me. “Whose codes, what departments’ access?”

  At his question, my unwanted guest drew its consciousness back, trying to shield itself from me. However, it had been so intent in gaining control over Medical and stopping Tep from his tests that the It had left itself wide open. I caught the answer before it slammed the door shut on me.

  “Nearly everything except bridge and most security functions,” I answered. “It broke into some lower-risk security accesses, which is how it opened the shuttle bay doors during yesterday’s attack. It hasn’t gotten into weapons, navigation, power, or life support. It has every intention of getting hold of those codes as soon as it can, however.”

  “Damnation,” Ebnad growled. He looked to Oses. “I should reset all of it, from food services up to the captain’s codes.”

  “Agreed. Once you wipe the system and input new accesses, the invaders’ that have taken over Mataras Shalia and Candy will have to start over again from scratch – if they somehow manage to escape stasis.” Oses’s tone said he was confident that wouldn’t happen.

  I hated to rain on his parade, but I remembered a nugget that had crossed the It’s mind during our battle. “It thought of Candy’s confinement as temporary. It is confident that you can’t lock either of us down forever.”

  The weapons commander’s eyes narrowed. “You’re sure of that? I’m not aware of any creature capable of escaping stasis.”

  “The It has no doubt it’ll break free,” I reiterated. “It is only a matter of time.”

  Feru blew out a heavy breath. “Tep, were you able to obtain all your samples?”

  “Not one bit of tissue before the system shut down. Subcommander, you have a full plate, but I need my department up and running as soon as possible, in case there’s an emergency.”

  “Of course. We’ll work on that immediately. Let me get to my console on the bridge. I’ll have you up with temporary codes within fifteen minutes.” Ebnad glanced at the rest of the squad. “Stay here and keep an eye on her.” His glare in my direction was decidedly unfriendly.

  Betra’s face was lined with worry. “Now what?”

  Tep was on his handheld, tapping on it at lightning speed. “Once Medical’s systems are restored, I’ll put Shalia under heavy sedation. I’ll get those samples, whether that damned creature in her wants me to or not.”

  May 22

  I wish I could report the sedation Tep used on me yesterday to finish claiming his samples made the procedure better. It did not.

  I woke from the testing to find myself under heavy guard. That sent off warning bells. “Fuck. What happened?”

  Feru’s strained face hinted at hope. “Is that you, Shalia?”

  “Last I checked.” I looked around to see his relief echoed in the expressions of Oses, Betra, and Tep. The Nobek security squad continued to appear mean.

  “Thank the Mother of All,” Betra breathed. “We were afraid we wouldn’t get you back.”

  “Back from where?” I stared at the expert of the group, Tep. “Doc?”

  He came close to pat me on the shoulder. “The sedation put you out, but the invading organism was able to activate areas of your brain for its use. It took complete control over you.”

  Terror filled me. “How am I aware then?”

  Tep shrugged helplessly. “My best guess is that when you are conscious, you can fight and keep it at bay, at least to a point. We’ve seen you do it.”

  “I had no control when it opened those bay doors,” I reminded him. As I spoke, I searched my head for any stray alien thoughts. I detected a surliness in there, a mote of tension. Nothing else.

  “You weren’t aware you’d been infiltrated then,” Oses said. “Now that you know about the entity, you’re on alert. It hasn’t taken you over enough to overrule you yet.”

  Yet. That one tiny word rang out like a death knell.

  “What about Candy?” I mused. “She’s been out for a couple of days.”

  “Sedated and in full stasis,” Tep said. “The combination seems to be holding her.”

  “You don’t think it will continue to?”

  He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “The other It continues to invade, transforming her more and more. Your version has already hinted that stasis won’t hold her forever.”

  Oses said, “It’s the perfect weapon, made to overcome all barriers. That’s what I believe.”

  Despite the anger in his face, he sounded as if he admired it. That’s a warrior for you. If the It hadn’t set up shop inside Yours Truly, he might have looked forward to fighting it.

  “So now what?” I asked.

  Tep straightened. “I scored the first round of samples for testing despite it fighting to free itself. We’ve put a rush on the lab, so we’ll be ready for more tests tomorrow. This time, you’ll be conscious in the hopes you can maintain a rein on that parasite. Plus I have a few other tricks to try to make sure the organism can’t take you over again.”

  I almost asked what those tricks were. Good sense showed up for a change before I could open my mouth. The It was no doubt listening. Not that they would have told me what they were up to...talking to me is the same as talking to the enemy.

  So, until tomorrow. Why do I feel as if a train is speeding straight for me and I can’t move off the tracks?

  May 23

  It was a busy day for a gal who is immobilized in bed. First, the nightmare.

  It was the worst thus far. I was the It again, fully armored and on Barin, hunting and killing the Barinem. It was just me and one other monstrosity doing the attacking. I think the other It was what is taking over Candy.

  Even though it was only the two of us, we could not be stopped by the small village we attacked. Dear prophet
s, we killed and we killed and we killed...the bloodshed felt never ending. The Barinem weapons, crude devices that they were, didn’t faze us. When they stopped fighting and started running, we followed them. We hunted them down and kept killing...hand to hand when possible. Elder, adult, or child, it made no matter. We were there to cleanse the planet of lesser creatures.

  In the dream, I was once more invigorated by my murderous rampage. At least I was to a certain point. This round, a bit of the real Shalia was separate, watching the horror and screaming in my head. That portion of me tried to wake up. I fought to escape the carnage. I failed. I was forced to not merely watch but to feel every emotion as I broke bones, ripped out hearts, and eagerly slaughtered.