The Journey Home

by K'Anne Meinel

  Sitting there in his moccasins and buckskin pants he wished he could wear a breechcloth instead but he was among white folks and as hot as it was knew it wasn’t proper to shock their senses. Indians didn’t care; exposed skin was to be expected. He preferred the wild and habits of the ‘wild’ Indians he knew. Soon enough she was done and he escaped in relief to eat the dinner she had placed on the table for him. Despite the late hour he wolfed down the food and headed out to sleep in the hay loft away from the domesticity of the house. Too many females he thought and didn’t count the children.

  Cass was surprised when Stephanie cut out a paper pattern that night and then some of the material she had bought to make him a few shirts. The whole bolts would go a long way to making shirts and other things. The boys would benefit as well and Cass could see that Stephanie knew what she was doing and didn’t waste fabric. While Cass knew how to make these things as well, she didn’t spend all her time in the house and now with Stephanie there she had even less time in the house, instead devoting herself to the barn and fields to provide them all with food that they would store for winter. Normally she made clothes for herself in winter and she could appreciate Stephanie’s skill as she watched her cut confidently into the materials she had brought.

  It was late, after the drive, dinner, and chores, Cass headed up for bed. She realized only vaguely when Stephanie came up to bed. She wasn’t aware as Stephanie watched her for a little while as she slept. Stephanie was so happy and content she felt like she was going to burst. It was all due to this woman too. She had a home she absolutely loved, it felt like home too and Cass had generously shared it with her. She provided everything they needed. She was smart and kind and thoughtful. Stephanie thought it sad that Cass didn’t have a husband to lavish her love on and she thought some man had lost out on this jewel. Cass would make a wonderful mate for any man lucky enough to have her. She had told Stephanie about her fiancée who had died but she had also told her that none of the other men who had come calling had done anything for her so eventually they stopped trying. Stephanie thought it sad that this woman might end up alone. She was a real prize. As she washed for bed she changed into her large cotton nightgown and realized with her stomach she wouldn’t fit into it soon and should make one larger for later, she hadn’t been this big with the boys and wondered briefly if she was having twins but neither she or her husband’s family had twins so perhaps the baby was just big.

  Crawling quietly into bed after checking one more time on the two exhausted little boys she blew out the lamp and laid there for a moment as she thought about everything she wanted to finish the next day. She would start on the cheese since she now had rennet and cheese cloth that Cass had purchased. She thought about the conversation that Cass relayed about where rennet came from and while she was amused at her astute little boy’s questions she was also sad that he had to learn these things in this harsh world. She thought it good that Cass had explained it to the little boy but found it funny that Cass had been obviously uncomfortable at the topic of conversation.

  She thought about the contradictions that this woman was full of. She had electricity in her house but still used lanterns and oil filled lamps instead of buying an electric one. When asked she had said it was more convenient and she liked the memories of seeing the lamps used when her grandparents and parents were still alive. Stephanie had to agree the oil in the lamps looked nicer than the glare of the bulbs over the rooms sometimes and were more convenient if you needed to take one elsewhere. For someone who was so advanced in having electricity she was still a traditionalist.

  Cass sighed in her sleep, obviously deeply asleep and Stephanie sank into the comfortable bed next to her to start dozing off. She froze when Cass turned over and threw her leg across her own. She realized it was unconscious and nothing meant by it but she slowly eased it back to the other woman’s side of the bed without waking her. She dozed off soon afterwards. She woke automatically at 4:30 as she always did. She was surprised to find her arm wrapped around Cass. She gently disentangled herself hoping that the other woman wouldn’t wake from her stealthy movement.

  What she didn’t know was that Cass was awake, only pretending to be still asleep. As Stephanie got up to go to the bathroom and start her day Cass turned over and looked at the dark empty doorway. It was still dark outside but she could tell by the feel in the air that morning wasn’t far away. She stretched and got up herself, pulling her clothes on in the near dark by feel. She was pulling her boots on when Stephanie returned from the bathroom.

  “Good morning,” Stephanie said quietly in the silence of the room.

  “Good morning,” Cass returned just as quietly as she pulled the suspenders over her shoulders as she stood up.

  Together they made their bed, each on their own side. Cass tried not to look at Stephanie in her nightgown and robe that didn’t fit across her big belly. She found her housekeeper beautiful, especially as pregnant as she was.

  Stephanie would have been shocked to find that Cass found her beautiful, she felt like a cow and she had another month and a half before she delivered, she would only get bigger.

  Cass had the coffee going by the time Stephanie got dressed and joined her in the kitchen. They shared some coffee before Cass went out to do the morning chores and Stephanie started breakfast. Calling up to the boys she had laid out their clothes for the day and expected them to dress themselves. She helped Tommy but Timmy was a big boy now and could dress himself. Tommy did a fairly good job but couldn’t button and always put his shoes on the wrong feet.

  “I should get a pair of boots made,” Cal grouched as he watched Cass finish up the milking before releasing the cow into the pasture. She made sure the calf had a pan full of milk. The cow waited by the door for its own calf before they ambled away to join the other two, the one year old heifer and the newer one that was a month older than their own little heifer.

  “Well Jack is the man to see then,” she mentioned.

  He shrugged, he hated going into town and she knew it. “I’ll go tomorrow,” he said putting it off.

  “The longer you wait, the longer it will take him to make ‘em,” she told him wisely.

  “Thought you wanted that wood cut,” he countered.

  “I do, but I also know how slow Jack can be,” she returned as she hung up the milk so she could feed the poultry.

  They talked back and forth until he agreed to go into town on her bay mare and go see Jack to be measured for a pair of boots. He preferred moccasins but there were times that boots made more sense. He would be back before noon so there was plenty of time to cut wood. They walked into breakfast together.

  The boys seemed fascinated by Cal; he was like no one they had ever known before. His silence alone drew them. His clothing, his actions, everything just captivated them and he didn’t know how to take them. Indian boys were curious too but not like these two, they were never completely quiet. He was relieved when he could escape these two and Timmy’s endless questions, most of which he never answered. Today he was just glad to escape to town.

  “Boys, I have a job for you two today, when you’re done with your breakfast and your Ma says you can come, meet me in the woodlot,” Cass told them and watched amused as they sped up their eating.

  “Slow down you two,” Stephanie said sternly, hiding the amusement that was in her eyes as she looked at Cass.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Cass was picking up the wood strewn around the woodlot and stacking it neatly into cords of wood. She had the boys bring her pieces and she showed them how to stack it into the neat piles. Cal had cut over a cord of wood the previous day and by the time he showed up back from town the three of them had it neatly stacked and the chips all gathered into buckets that they stacked inside the woodbin near the house and next to the heater downstairs, the heater upstairs, and the fireplace in the kitchen. They sat down to lunch and Cal went through the same uncomfortable feeling he had at other meals from the fascinated youngste
rs. As he finished his lunch he was stopped by Stephanie addressing him directly.

  “Cal, I have one of the shirts pieced together, could I have you try it on so I can make adjustments before I sew it on the machine?” she asked politely.

  He was always surprised when she talked to him. Cass saw it and was amused. She waited to see him try on the shirt and then Stephanie fussed and pulled here and adjusted there until she was satisfied. He could feel her pregnant belly occasionally as she brushed against him, a distinctively uncomfortable feeling. He breathed a sigh of relief as he escaped to the outdoors.

  “He doesn’t talk much does he,” Stephanie asked amused and shared a laugh with Cass.

  “He likes the outdoors,” Cass shrugged as she went out to work.

  In the two weeks that Cal stayed around the farm he cut several cords of wood for Cass and the household. He also cleared a road wide path to the clearing where there had only been a footpath before. This allowed Cass to mix up another batch of Raymond’s concoction and pour it over the stumps that were left. It had been working all summer on the stumps in the field and they were rotting a lot faster than she had ever seen before. She applied a second dose to them since she figured the rains had washed away the previous concoction. She was grateful for Cal’s widening the path, it allowed her to drive the wagon and gather any trees that she hadn’t before that were down. A large pile of brush had been gathered as well from the branches they had cut off the trees as well as that from the woods itself. He left a lot of trees ringed so they would die and season as Cass had been doing. These wouldn’t become firewood but rather they would be cut next year and cut into boards on Grandpa’s sawmill to be sold in town. Some of these trees were quite thick, as much as four feet, and would require a lot of work between them. The smaller ones up to a foot or so thick that Cass felt she could handle she would take down over the winter and pull on a sled with the horses.

  When Cal gathered his now well fed and rested mules he had half a dozen shirts courtesy of Stephanie. He blushed when she handed then to him in a package, saving one for him to wear. She had bleached and beaten his buckskin shirt, keeping it soft with a tallow salve so the water wouldn’t stiffen it when she cleaned it. It was bright and clean and he was grateful. He packed his packs with foodstuffs that Cass had bought for him and thanking them both he disappeared into the woods wearing his new boots.

  “How often do you see him?” Stephanie asked as she held onto her back, leaning back to stretch it, she had worked late and long into the night the last few days to be sure his shirts were ready and the buckskin ready for him when he left. Seeing him walking around without a shirt on had been disturbing. He was a fine specimen and nothing like her dead husband. He was all sinew and not a surplus ounce of flesh to be seen.

  Cass shrugged, “He comes and goes, sometimes I don’t see him for a year,” she turned to go back to work, there was always work on a farm.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Cass and Raymond gathered the sheaves of oats she had cut and tied with him in the field. They put them in stacks in the unused stalls of her barn. She hated stacking them outside but there were so many they would have no choice. They stacked them so that they would shed rain and not seep into the stack which would lead to mildew and then rot. Next they cut the wheat and neither harvest would Cass allow Stephanie or the boys to help although Stephanie pointed out her hands weren’t pregnant. There were snakes and other animals in the deep fields and Cass didn’t want to worry about the boys or Stephanie in the hot summer sun getting heatstroke or bit or worse.

  Instead she brought a quantity of straw inside and showed Stephanie how to soak it so she could weave hats and baskets for the harvest. Each night when Cass came in exhausted from the fields she would find Stephanie and Melanie who had come with Raymond and their children while the harvest was going on, making baskets and hats, some to keep, some to sell made from the straw. They experimented and learned and some of their creations were beautiful, others laughingly pathetic. The children played together out in the yard and Stephanie was grateful to have a mother, one that had children near her own in age to talk to all day. Melanie and she got along like a house afire. Firm friends from day one Melanie showed the other woman some of the things she had learned from living in the deep woods of Wisconsin and Melanie learned some things from Stephanie that she had learned from living in Iowa. It was fun to share and compare.

  The children all shared the boys rooms except for the new baby that got to use the ‘girls’ room that was ready and waiting for the baby that Stephanie would have soon. Melanie and Raymond slept in the den together. They had very little in the way of stock and had brought their cows and calves and horses to graze with Cass’s cattle and got fat grazing on the newly harvested fields. By using both wagons and sets of horses they were able to move a lot of sheaves of grain. Cass took both Raymond’s and her own cows down to Brokaw to be bred with her friend’s husband’s prize bull. Having to pay two bits for each of the cow’s to be bred was a wrench but the bull was a superior animal and in the long run the improvement in their bred animals would show in the higher output of milk they got from their cows. Cass was hoping to have a male calf or bull from this breeding instead of a heifer. Next spring she would have two heifers giving off plenty of milk and two more upcoming the following spring. She needed a bull and while she couldn’t afford to buy one herself, she would settle on an offspring from this mighty beast. He looked ornery as he sniffed at the three cows that were presented to him. All of them were in various stages of estrus and prime for breeding. Cass would have preferred they didn’t come into season in the middle of harvestime but sometimes you couldn’t time this sort of thing.

  Marabelle attempted to chat her up, trying to catch up on all the news they had missed from the last time they had seen each other. Cass looked at her, she was as big as a house with her own pregnancy and she didn’t wear the weight well. She looked bloated and overfed. She wondered that she had ever found this woman beautiful and found herself unconsciously comparing her unfavorably Stephanie who looked attractive despite her own pregnancy. “So I hear you have a housekeeper now?”

  Cass shrugged, becoming more like her brother Cal at this kind of moment, she really didn’t know what to say to this friend of hers, she had tried to remain her friend but her betrayal hurt. “I’m just helping her out and in exchange she’s keeping my house in order.”

  After several more attempts to talk to Cass about Stephanie she ceased asking questions. They could talk about chickens, ducks, and geese and with this conversation Cass opened up a little. Again though, she wasn’t very ‘chatty’ and while she enjoyed talking to someone as knowledgeable about poultry as she, she couldn’t let the resentment go. Both of them were relieved when she gathered her and Raymond’s cows and left. The long ride home herding the cows with Shia nipping at their heels occasionally gave her a lot of time to think. She didn’t like to dwell on the past but Marabelle had hurt her more than any other person in her life. Maybe that was why she couldn’t let it go. She had tried, it had been a few years but remembering the past wasn’t good. She had kicked herself because it was through her that Marabelle had met this particular farmer and married him. She was grateful to get home and see her familiar farm. She noted how much the barn needed a paint job, but with all the work around the farm she didn’t know when she would get to it.

  “Oh thank god your back,” Melanie met her at the barn when she herded the cows in.

  “Why, what’s wrong?” she asked concerned seeing Melanie’s face.

  “Stephanie is in labor, and it’s a doozy,” she answered.

  Quickly Cass pulled the saddle off of her bay as well as the reins and with a slap on its rump sent it out into the pasture without a good rub down and brushing as she hurried into the house. She found where Melanie had gotten Stephanie upstairs and into their bed where she lay there panting and sweating. Glancing in she hurried to wash up and change out of her clothes and into some
thing to help deliver Stephanie’s baby.

  The boys were peeking out of their bedroom and Stephanie asked Melanie to send them out to feed the poultry and to ‘help’ Raymond when he came in from the fields. He would work as long as there was light. Melanie realized she should have sent the children outside a while ago, this was no place for children when another was about to be born.

  “How are you feeling?” Cass greeted Stephanie as she wrapped her ‘birthing’ apron over her pants, tying it in the back.

  “Not too good,” Stephanie panted as she fought the labor pain that was gripping her.

  Cass examined her between her legs and could see as she checked the color of her eyes, fingernails, and heart that she must have been fighting this delivery. Checking the position of the baby she was pleased to find it wasn’t breech but was abnormally large which didn’t surprise her considering Stephanie’s girth. Furthermore, Stephanie’s waters must have burst long ago, it was dry as sandpaper and she was grateful she had lubricated her hand for her examination.

  “Oh gawd, oh gawd, can’t you make the pain stop?” Stephanie gasped.

  Cass used a washcloth to wipe Stephanie’s brow. “Yes, I have herbs that would help with the pain but your pretty far along, it wouldn’t be a good idea right now for you to take them. Let’s get this baby out of you.”

  Stephanie felt like crying, she didn’t remember her two boys causing her this much trouble, this much pain. “I’ve been trying for hours,” she sobbed.

  Cass nodded as she expertly applied a lubricant to Stephanie between her legs to her vaginal walls, making it slick for the baby that wanted to come out but was stuck for the moment. Carefully she reached her finger inside to ease it along the baby’s head with plenty of lubricant. She closed her eyes at the pain she felt when Stephanie bore down. “Hold on, don’t push yet, hold on,” she said through clenched teeth.