Shrinking Violets
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foreign observers on English reserve, 28–29, 31, 35, 50–51, 161
and inaudible speech, 33–34
of orangutans, 37–38
suspicion engendered by, 51
Thatcherism vs., 204
upper Midwestern reserve, 77. See also loneliness; retreat; and specific individuals
retreat (withdrawal; hiding), 19–21, 36, 224
animals, 5
Christie’s disappearance, 125–126
of Drake, 134–135, 137, 139–141
of Frame, 168, 173–174
of Gould, 130–133
of Jansson, 174–175, 177–179
Japanese hikikomori, 214–218, 229
Melanesian people, 89
of Morrissey, 200–202, 212
orangutans and, 37–38
by teens, 201
by working- and middle-class Britons, 186. See also intro- version; loneliness; reserve; solitude
rhesus monkeys, 10
Ricks, Christopher, 209–210
Riley, Harold, 152
Rivers, W. H. R., 40–41
Robbins, Peter, 78
Roditi, Édouard, 159
Rodriguez, Eva, 145
Rodriguez, Sixto, 145
Rølvaag, Ole, 77
romance (love): computer generated love poem, 55
dancing and, 198
in film and fiction, 43, 69–70
in Keillor’s Lake Wobegon, 82
nerds doomed to failure, 206
selkie myths, 6
unrequited love, 43, 207–211
in various cultures, 86–87, 195. See also sex and sexuality
Rome, ancient, 16, 17–18
Rommel, Erwin, 102
Roosevelt, Theodore, 83–84
Ross, Robbie, 39
Rourke, Andy, 203
Rowntree, Benjamin Seebohm, 186
Sacks, Oliver, 223–227
Saito¯ Tamaki, 214, 217–218
Sajavaara, Kari, 92
salamanders, larval, 8
Sandison, David, 138
Sappho, 208
Sargeson, Frank, 171
Sassoon, Siegfried, 38–47, 98
Saunders, Peter, 126–127
Scars of Evolution, The (Morgan), 231–232
Scented Gardens for the Blind (Frame), 172
school: British public schools, 30, 34, 54
bullying in, 54, 117, 200, 216, 227
ostracism in, 203
school shootings, 218
Schulz and Peanuts and, 78–79
Schrijver, Herman, 69
Schulz, Charles, 77–80
Schumann, Clara, 121
scopophobia, 123
Scott, Susie, 3–4
seals, 5–6
Search for Petula Clark, The (Gould; radio documentary), 131
Segerman, Stephen, 145
self-absorption, 51–52, 79
self-confidence (overconfidence), 133
self-consciousness: about appearance, 56–57 (see also physical appearance);
and embarrassment, 55
and privacy, 59–60
of C. Schultz, 78
and shyness, 11–12, 13, 79, 234
and stage fright, 119 (see also stage fright);
and stammering, 105–106 (see also stammering);
and tears, 28. See also blushing
Seneca, 17–18
service workers, 140
sex and sexuality, 73, 74, 208. See also romance
shaking, 36, 61, 123, 182, 188
shame: fear of public nakedness, 122
in Papua New Guinea, 73, 74
in premodern cultures, 18, 64
shame-attacking exercises, 191
shame-threshold advanced, 65
shyness as, 13, 18
and suicide, 73. See also embarrassment; humiliation
sharks, 10
Shawn, William, 81
shell shock, 40, 97–98, 108. See also Rivers, W. H. R.
Sherborne School, 54
Shetland and the Shetlanders (Livingstone), 58
Shetland islanders, 57–61, 65–66, 187
shrinking. See retreat; violets
“shy” (word origin), 45–46
shy-bold continuum, 8–9, 20
Shyness: How Normal Behavior Became a Sickness (Lane), 220
Sidney, Sir Philip, 209
Sih, Andy, 8
silence: de Gaulle and, 23–24, 98
discomfort with, 4, 90–92, 114–115
Drake and, 135, 137
Frame’s desire for, 173–174
George VI and, 106
muteness, 98, 106, 167, 172, 224
Wavell and, 98, 100, 101. See also reserve; taciturnity
Simmel, Georg, 122
Simpson, Rose, 144
Six Characters in Search of an Author (Pirandello), 152–153
Sjögren, Annick, 91
Sketches and Tales of the Shetland Islands (Edmonston), 5
Skull, John and Mary, 48
small talk, 1, 60–61, 69, 91, 105, 116. See also conversation
Smiths, the (band), 202–203, 205–207. See also Morrissey, Steven
social anxiety, 123, 140, 218–220, 224–225
social class. See class
social ease, developing, 191–192
social embarrassment theory, 61–63, 111–112
social networking, 222–223
social phobia, 218–220
social rejection, fear of, 191
social skills, 1–4, 194–195, 197–198. See also conversation
Social Skills Research Group (Oxford), 194–195
soldiers, taciturnity, and shell shock, 97–98. See also World War I; World War II; and specific individuals
solitude: and creativity, 132, 168, 169, 177, 180
desire for, 30, 44–45, 224, 229–230
Gould and, 131, 132
Jansson and, 174–175, 177–178
of the North, 131–132
orangutans and, 37–38
Tennant and, 47–49. See also loneliness; reserve; retreat; and specific individuals
Sontag, Susan, 77, 91
Soul of Kindness, The (Taylor), 72
Southeast Asia, 73–74, 87. See also Melanesia; Philippines
Speaking into the Air (Peters), 113–114
speech: accents, 182, 183
of de Gaulle, 92–94, 96
dictation, 127–128
of George VI (Prince Albert), 105–112
importance of communication, 112–116, 164
inaudibility, 33–34, 63
incoherent or incomplete, 45, 115, 170 (see also tongue-tied state);
muteness, 98, 106, 167, 172, 224
of Sassoon, 45, 46
slip-ups (“speakos”), 159
as sophisticated skill, 115
sparing or concise, 91–92, 96
tone and inflection, 197
tongue-tied state, 94, 103, 105, 115, 167, 170, 171–172, 183
as “v grooming,” 90
Wavell on, 98
vs. writing, 164, 172. See also conversation; public speaking; reserve; silence; stammering; taciturnity
Spender, Stephen, 47, 110
“Sporting Acquaintances” (Sassoon), 39
sports players. See Manchester United
“Squirrel, The” (Jansson), 178
stage fright: in the ancient world, 17–18
author’s experience, 149
of Bogarde, 117–118
of Charlton, 182
of Christie, 124–128
of Drake, 138–139
vs. ease on stage, 148–150
of F. Hardy, 137
physical symptoms, 118, 119, 123
theater history and, 120–121
universality of, 119, 124
stage lighting, 121
stammering, 35, 92, 98, 105–112
Stanford prison experiment, 192–193
Stanford Shyness Survey, 193, 222
Stendhal, 209
&n
bsp; Stoicism, 17
Storr, Anthony, 168–169
Strachey, Christopher, 55
stuttering. See stammering
suicide, 73, 165, 166
Summertime (Betti play), 117–118
Suomi, Stephen, 10
Swedish people, 75–77, 91, 92
taciturnity: de Gaulle, 93–94
Drake, 135, 137, 139
Frame, 167
French people, 94–95
George VI, 106
soldiers, 97–98
Wavell, 98, 100, 101–103. See also reserve; silence; speech
taijin kyofusho (social phobia), 218–219
Taine, Hippolyte, 35
talking. See communication; conversation; public speaking; small talk; speech; stammering
Talleyrand, Charles Maurice de, 28
Taylor, Elizabeth (novelist), 66–72, 81, 140
technology: and communication/connection, 113, 131, 174, 222–224
recording technology, 146 (see also microphones). See also cellphone culture; computers; Internet; telephone
teenagers. See adolescence
telephone, 1, 96, 135, 194. See also cellphone culture; technology
Tennant, Christopher, 48
Tennant, Stephen, 43–44, 47–50, 206
Tennov, Dorothy, 207–208
Tennyson, Alfred, Lord, 43
texting, 86–88
Thatcher, Margaret, 203–205
theater history and architecture, 120–121, 124
therapy. See aversion therapy; massage; psychiatry and psychology
Theroux, Paul, 50–51
Thompson, Laura, 126
Timides et la timidité, Les (Hartenberg), 123
toads, 5
tongue-tied state, 94, 103, 105, 115, 167, 170, 171–172, 183. See also silence; stammering; taciturnity
touch, 195–196. See also hugs
Towards Another Summer (Frame), 170–172
“Traveling Light” (Jansson), 178
Tréhin, Gilles, 156
Tuckwell, William, 31
Turing, Alan, 53–57, 66, 84, 86
Turkle, Sherry, 222
typewriters, 170–171, 174
unemployment, 204–205
Ungaretti, Giuseppe, 161
universality of shyness or stage fright, 4, 119, 124, 193
unrequited love, 43, 207–211. See also romance
Unst (Shetland Islands), 57–61, 65–66, 187
urination, 64, 199, 224
Van Zeller, Dom Hubert, 46
Vile Bodies (Waugh), 44
Vincent, David, 34
violence, 218
violets, 20–21
virtue, shyness as, 146–147, 186, 190
voice, the, 80, 134, 197. See also speech; stammering
Voyager spacecraft, 133
Wallace, Alfred Russel, 25, 37
war against shyness, 190–199, 203–205, 212. See also psychiatry and psychology
Waugh, Evelyn, 44
Wavell, Archibald, 98–105
weather (climate), 19
Wells, Brian, 134–135
Wheeler-Bennett, John, 108
Whistler, Rex, 42, 44
White, E. B., 81–82
Whitefoot, John, 12
Who Will Comfort Toffle? (Jansson), 176–177
Why Love Hurts (Illouz), 211
Wiltshire, Stephen, 156
Wing, Lorna, 157–158
withdrawal. See reserve; retreat
Wolfe, Tom, 81
Wolff, Ludwig, 28
women: encouraged to silence, shyness, 146–147
friendships, 68
menstruation, 166
musicians, 141–146
role in society, 118–119, 124–125. See also specific individuals
Wood, John, 135–136, 139
Woolf, Virginia, 230
working-class men, shyness in, 184–185, 188. See also specific individuals
workplace communication, 2, 112–113
work-shy people, 204–205
World War I, 40, 99–100
World War II, 53–57, 92–104, 110–112
Wozniak, Steve, 84–85
writing: authors’ shyness, 71–72
Freud on, 164
in public, 221
vs. speech, 164, 172
on a typewriter, 170–171, 174
writers’ real vs. literary selves, 167. See also letter-writing; and specific writers
Yamada, Masahiro, 215
Yeak, Ping Lian, 156
Young, Michael, 74
Young Meteors, The (Aitken), 188
youth cult (1960s), 188
Zeldin, Theodore, 13–14
Zeno of Citium, 16–17
Zimbardo, George, 192
Zimbardo, Philip, 191–193, 222
zoo, 37–39
Zorro (fictional character), 184