Shrinking Violets
Page 27
Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 33–34, 84
English at Home, The (Esquiros), 29
English reserve. See reserve
English Traits (Emerson), 33–34
Enigma of Arrival, The (Naipaul), 48–49, 50
“Enoch Arden” (Tennyson), 43
Eothen, or Traces of Travel Brought Home from the East (Kinglake), 31–33
Erasmus, 65
Esquiros, Alphonse, 29
Europe: crying in, 28
northern vs. southern, 58–59, 76–77, 94–95
retreat/withdrawal in, 217–218
rise of manners in, 64–65
shyness in, 18–19. See also specific countries and peoples
evolutionary biology, 6–8, 10–11, 24, 231–233
“Evolution of the Revolt, The” (Lawrence), 99
expectations, unfulfilled, 61
Exploring English Character (Gorer), 187–188
Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, The (Darwin), 26, 27, 63. See also Darwin, Charles
extroverts, 187–189, 198, 204
eye contact, 194
“Eye-Contact, Distance and Affiliation” (Argyle), 194–195
face blindness, 227
Faces in the Water (Frame), 168
facial expressions, 2–3
fanzines, 207
Farrer, Reginald, 21
Fell, Sheila, 152–153, 156
Finnish language and people, 75, 86, 91
Fisher, Charlotte, 127
Five Leaves Left (Drake album), 134, 138
flamboyance, 43–44, 49
Fleisher, Leon, 129
Formby, George (Sr. and Jr.), 184, 200
Found, Rob, 9
Frame, Janet, 165–174, 200
French people, 94–95
Freud, Sigmund, 122, 163–164, 169, 191, 208
front vs. back regions, 187
Game of Hide and Seek, A (Taylor), 70
Garrick, David, 120
Gatty, Hester, 44
Geertz, Clifford, 73
genitalia, 74
George VI (Prince Albert), 105–112
Getting On (Bennett play), 190
gift, shyness as, 230–231
Gilbert, Jerry, 139
glamour of shyness, 167, 212. See also Morrissey, Steven
glasses, 200, 206
Glenconner, C. Tennant, Lord, 48
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von, 21
Goffman, Erving, 57–63, 65–66, 77, 111, 125, 186–187
Gorer, Geoffrey, 187–188
Gould, Glenn, 128–133
Gould, John, 5
Graffman, Gary, 129
Grandin, Temple, 155–156
Graziani, Rodolfo, 101
Great Britain: civil servants in, 34
cricket, 46–47
extrovert culture’s rise, 187–189
London zoo, 37–39
pop music, 201–203
public schools, 30, 34, 54
public speaking in, 33–34
Royal Mail, 67, 202, 207 (see also mail);
Thatcher era, 203–205
vice anglais, 188, 189, 199
and World War I, 40, 99–100 (see also World War I);
and World War II, 53–57, 95, 98–104 (see also George VI; Wavell, Archibald;
World War II). See also class; reserve; and specific individuals
Greece, ancient, 15–18
greetings, 60, 90. See also handshakes
Greig, Charlotte, 147–148
Gruenberg, Eugene, 123–124
Gunther, Bernard, 196
Gustafson, Gunnel, 76
Hacking, Ian, 220–221
“Half a Person” (Smiths song), 210
Hallé, Charles, 122
handshakes, 3
Hardy, Françoise, 137
Hardy, G. H., 56–57
Harrisson, Tom, 185
Hartenberg, Paul, 123
Haussez, Charles Lemercier de Longpré, Baron d’, 29
Hawthorne, Nathaniel, 84
“Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” (Smiths song), 205–206
Hegel, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich, 26
Heimlich, Henry J., 63–64
Heine, Heinrich, 149–150
Hendon, Herbert, 75
hermit crabs, 19–20, 117
“Hester Lilly” (Taylor), 72
hiding. See retreat
hikikomori (young Japanese recluses), 214–218, 229
history of shyness, 14–18
Hodgson, Vere, 93
Hodson, Haro, 45
Homebrew Computer Club, 84–85
“honourable secrecy,” 34
Hope and Glory (1987 film), 111
Horney, Karen, 176
horses, 45–46
Housman, A. E., 199–200
Howard, Elizabeth Jane, 71
Howe, Geoffrey, 204
hugs, 3, 155, 196
hugging oneself, 176, 201
Humboldt, Alexander von, 21
humiliation, 73, 106–108, 168. See also embarrassment; shame; stammering
Humiliation (Miller), 64
humming, 91
Hunt, Leigh, 20
Hydriotaphia or Urn-Burial (Browne), 13
Ibsen, Henrik, 59
Icelandic sagas, 64
Idea of North, The (Gould; radio documentary), 132
illness, 168, 169, 192, 230–231. See also specific individuals
Illouz, Eva, 211
impatience with shyness, 51
indie bands and indie culture, 202–207, 211–212. See also Morrissey, Steven
inherited shyness, 10–11. See also evolutionary biology
In Praise of Love (Rattigan play), 189
Internet, 131, 145, 153, 174, 223–224. See also technology
Interpretation of Dreams, The (Freud), 122
introversion: and creativity, 158, 177
expectation and social acceptance, 198
medicalization of, 219–220. See also loneliness; reserve; retreat; solitude
irrationality of shyness, 11–13, 56
Isherwood, Christopher, 47–48
Italy, 100–102, 104, 159–163
Janet, Pierre, 123
Jansson, Tove, 174–180
Japan, 87, 214–219, 229
Jobs, Steve, 85
Johnson, Celia, 69, 70–71
Jordania, Joseph, 91
Jourard, Sydney, 195–196
Joyce, Mike, 203
Jung, Carl, 158, 204
Just Another Diamond Day (Bunyan album), 143, 145–146. See also Bunyan, Vashti
Kagan, Jerome, 11
Kahn, Jeffrey, 10
Kanner, Leo, 156
Kaplan, Donald, 148
Kaurismäki, Aki, 92
Keats, John, 20, 209–210
Keats and Embarrassment (Ricks), 209–210
Keillor, Garrison, 80–83
Kendon, Adam, 194
Kermode, Frank and Anita, 68
King, Christopher, 50
Kinglake, Alexander, 29–33, 35–36
King’s Speech, The (2010 film), 108–110. See also George VI
Knox, Oliver, 66, 204
Lampedusa, Giuseppe di, 161
Lane, Christopher, 220
Lane Poole, Charles, 233
Langdon-Brown, Walter, 40–41
language: in animals, 154
inadequacy of, 173
Italian lacking word for privacy, 160
Japanese word for shy, 216
limitations of, 114, 115
Morrissey’s use of, 211
Nordic words for shyness/embarrassment, 75, 91
“shy” (word origin), 45–46
Southeast Asian words for shyness, embarrassment, shame, 73–74, 87
stage fright words, 120, 121
Swedish words for talking, 91
as “vocal grooming,” 90
laughter, 3, 62, 70, 74, 125
Lavers, G. R., 186
Lawrence, T. E., 42–43, 99, 226
Lean, David, 69–70
Leggat, Alick, 153
Lehtonen, Jaakko, 92
Leith, W. Compton (O. M. Dalton), 15–19, 22
Le Moyne, Jean, 131
Leopard, The (Lampedusa), 161
Letters from Berlin (Heine), 149–150
“Letter-Writers, The” (Taylor), 66–67, 68
letter-writing, 66–69, 72, 120, 178–180, 201–s02. See also fanzines; mail; and specific individuals
Letwin, Shirley Robin, 204
Levi, Primo, 161–162
Lewinsky, Hilde, 165
Lewis, Robert, 141–142
libraries, 113
Licinius Crassus, Lucius, 17
Liddell, Robert, 67–69
lighthouses, 172–173, 174–176
limerence, 208
“Listener, The” (Jansson), 178–179
listening, 115–116, 168, 174
Liszt, Franz, 121
Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers (Diogenes Laertius), 16
Livingston, W. P., 58
Logue, Lionel, 107–110, 112
loneliness: in children, 116–117
Emerson on, 84
Gorer on the English and, 187
in Lowry’s paintings, 152, 154
in modern life, 222
in Morrissey’s songs, 210
in Murakami’s work, 216
in Pirandello’s Six Characters, 153
poetry and, 209
shyness and, 23, 117. See also specific individuals
loner folk music, 144–145. See also Bunyan, Vashti
Longanesi, Leo, 163
Lough, Ernest, 142–143
love. See romance; unrequited love
Lowry, L. S., 151–154, 156–157, 180
Mabey, Richard, 232, 234
machines. See technology
Mackenzie, Compton, 142
Mahut, Helen, 6–7
mail, 67, 153, 179, 180, 202, 207. See also letter-writing
Malaysia, 73–74
Malinowski, Bronislaw, 73, 89–90, 115–116
Mallowan, Max, 126
Manchester United, 182–184, 188–189
manners and etiquette: American manners, 54
autism and, 155–156
and English shyness, 29, 54
handshakes and hugs, 3
history of, 19, 64–65
in Japan, 215
social skills training, 197–198
Manvell, Roger, 69–70
Man Who Came to Dinner, The (1942 film), 202
marijuana, 135
Marine Biological Association, 9–10
Marks, Isaac, 219
Marr, Johnny, 202–223, 205, 206
marriage, 74. See also romance
Maskelyne, Jasper, 100
masks (literal and figurative), 19, 42, 82, 97, 149–150, 192, 194
massage, 196
Massey, Anna, 118–119
Mass Observation, 111–112, 185
Masters, Brian, 130
Match Factory Girl, The (1990 film), 92
Mathematician’s Apology, A (Hardy), 56
McCarthy, Michael, 34
McCroskey Shyness Scale, 219–220
McDonald, Shelagh, 144
McKechnie, Christina “Licorice,” 144
McMillan, Harold and Dorothy, 94–95
Me, I’m Afraid of Virginia Woolf (Bennett play), 199
Measure for Measure (Shakespeare), 45–46
measuring shyness, 214, 219–220
Melanesia, 72–73, 74, 89–90
menstruation, 166
mental illness, 130, 163–168, 197–198, 218–222. See also cynical shyness; depression; phobias; psychiatry and psychology; shell shock
metaphors for shyness, 19–21, 117, 234
“Metropolis and Mental Life, The” (Simmel), 122
microphones, 109–110, 130, 135–136, 138–139
Miller, Agatha. See Christie, Agatha
Miller, William Ian, 64
Minnesota and the upper Midwest, 77, 79, 82–83. See also Keillor, Garrison; Schulz, Charles
Mondrian, Piet, 160
Montale, Eugenio, 161
Montgomery, Bernard Law, 103–104
Montulé, Édouard de, 28
Moomin books (Jansson), 175–178
Moore, Thomas, 20
Moorehead, Alan, 103
Moorhouse, Geoffrey, 170
Morandi, Giorgio, 159–160, 162–164
Morgan, Elaine, 231–232
Morrell, Lady Ottoline, 39
Morrissey, Steven, 199–203, 205–207, 210–212
Morse, Josiah, 123, 140
Mortimer, Penelope, 120
motorcycles, 226
Mount, Ferdinand, 44–45
mourning, 163–164
Mullins, Edwin, 151–152, 154
Murakami, Haruki, 216–217
Murphree, Oddist, 7
music: electric microphone and, 130, 135–136, 138–139
loner folk music, 144–145
Morrissey on, 212
music-hall acts, 184
pop music, British, 201–203
recording(s), 130, 133, 135–136
and stage fright, 121–124, 128–130, 137–139, 141–145 (see also stage fright). See also recordings; and specific musicians
Mussolini, Benito, 160, 161–162
Naipaul, V. S., 48–49
nakedness, public, 122
Nansen, Fridtjof, 6
neediness, 211
nerds, 84–86, 193, 206, 216. See also computers; indie bands and indie culture
neuroscience, 225–226
Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle toward Self-Realization (Horney), 176
“Never Had No One Ever” (Smiths song), 210
Newman, Max, 56
New Yorker magazine, 81–82
Njál’s Saga, 64
nonverbal communication, 2–3, 194–195. See also body language; touch
Nordic peoples, 58–59, 75–76, 91–92. See also Minnesota and the upper Midwest; Shetland islanders
Norton, Sarah, 53
Notes sur l’Angleterre (Taine), 35
observation vs. participation, 62
Odyssey (Homer), 16
Ogdon, John, 130
Olivier, Lawrence, 119
Ollivier, John, 31, 32
On Civility in Children (Erasmus), 65
On Love (Stendhal), 209
“On Shyness” (Plutarch), 18
On the Origin of Species (Darwin), 25–26. See also Darwin, Charles
opossum, 5
orangutans, 37–39
Other Men’s Flowers (Wavell), 104–105
overcoming shyness, 227–228
Ovid, 18
Oxford Book of Letters, The (F. and A. Kermode), 68
Palme, Olof, 76
Papua New Guinea, 72–73, 74
Park, Jessy, 158–159
Patrick, Samantha, 9
Pavese, Cesare, 161
Peanuts (Schulz cartoons), 77–80
Peel, Sir Robert (3rd baronet), 33
performance: fear of public performance, 122–123 (see also stage fright);
shyness as persona, 50–52, 206, 211–212 (see also Morrissey, Steven; Tennant, Stephen);
shy people drawn to, 148–150
personal growth philosophy, 227–228
personality, persistence of, 225–229
Peters, John Durham, 113–114
phatic communion, 89–90
Philippines, 86–87
Phillips, Adam, 51
phobias, 123, 218–220
physical appearance and shyness, 56–57, 61, 62, 95–96, 165, 192, 200
physical contact, 195–196. See also handshakes; hugs
physical symptoms: of embarrassment, 61, 208 (see also blushing);
of shell shock, 98, 108
of stage fright, 118, 119, 123. See also stammering
Physiology or Mechanism of Blushin
g, The (Burgess), 26–27
Pindar (Greek poet), 21
Pink Moon (Drake album), 139
Pirandello, Luigi, 152–153
Plessy, Ferdinand, 95
Pliny the Elder, 18
Plutarch, 18
poetry, 104–105, 161, 208–211. See also specific poets and works
Poirot (fictional detective), 126, 127
poise, everyday, 148–149
pop music, British, 201–203. See also Morrissey, Steven
positive qualities of shyness, 41, 100–102. See also gift, shyness as
Prairie Home Companion, A (radio show), 82–83
Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, The (Goffman), 187
primates, 10, 37–39
Pritchard, Mathew, 127, 128
privacy: in the digital age, 223
English preference for, 29
lacking in Italy, 160
and self-consciousness, 59–60, 64–66
teens and, 201
“Problem of Meaning in Primitive Languages, The” (Malinowski), 89–90. See also Malinowski, Bronislaw
Pseudodoxia Epidemica (Browne), 12
psychiatry and psychology, 122–123, 163–169, 190–199, 218–221, 224–225. See also depression; Freud, Sigmund; Jung, Carl; mental illness; phobias; shell shock
Psychological Types (Jung), 158
Psychology of Interpersonal Behavior, The (Argyle), 196–197
psychosis. See Ogdon, John
publicity: seeking, 188
shyness re, 125–226, 203, 227
public speaking: author’s experience, 149
Christie and, 126
de Gaulle and, 92–94
George VI and, 106–112
inaudibility, 33–34, 63
Wavell and, 98, 104–105
public vs. private selves, 52
Puerto Rico, 195
Putnam, Robert, 222
radio, 80–83, 107, 109–111, 131–132, 201
rainforests, 233–234
Rankin, Nicholas, 99–100
Rattigan, Terence, 189
Rebecca (du Maurier), 51, 231
recordings: Christie’s dictation, 127–128
of Drake, 138, 139
of Durant, 141–142
of female folk singers, 141–146
of Gould, 130–133
of Lough, 142–143
of Molly Drake, 147–148
of Nick Drake, 133–137
recording technology, 146 (see also microphones);
of the Smiths, 205
vinyl vs. CDs, 205
Religio Medici (Browne), 12–13
Reluctant Debutante, The (Douglas-Home play), 118–119
reserve (reticence): benefits of, 114
British working-class reserve, 184–186
of city dwellers, 122
class and, 35, 36, 41, 42–43, 189
contradictory aspects of, 36, 42–43, 51–52
cricket and, 47
English civil service and, 34
Englishmen in the desert, 30–31
English public schools and, 30, 34
English reserve in film, 69–70