Rebel Dreams

by Patricia Rice

  Taking her elbow, he led her toward the larger space of the general cabin. “I’ve been known to make a few in my time, Mrs. Wellington. Is there anything I can do to correct it?”

  To his chagrin, Alex found his noble cousin propped in one of the chairs at the table, his feet up, and a bowl of shelled walnuts in his lap as he eavesdropped with amusement.

  “I certainly hope so. Your foolish captain has Evelyn sharing a room with me. I know the accommodations are limited, but there must be some way of managing this a little better. Perhaps he did not know you were married?” she asked hopefully, not being able to state the matter any plainer.

  Alex held his temper at the earl’s chuckle and tried his best to placate this woman he admired and respected. “I told Captain Oliver to give you and Evelyn the most comfortable cabin since you are the only ladies on board, and the voyage is quite likely to be an unpleasantly cold one. I do not wish to risk your health or Evelyn’s. That is my uppermost concern.”

  Amanda smiled and touched her large son-in-law’s arm. “I feared it was some such nonsense as that. I am happy to know that Evelyn has chosen such a considerate husband, but you do not need to make such sacrifices for me. I am healthy as a horse. If you will just have them move my things to your room, you can move in with Evelyn, where you should be. A young couple needs to have time alone together to cement the bonds that make a happy marriage.”

  Alex contemplated telling her he bunked with the crew, but he did not like lying to this woman. Besides, he greatly suspected she had already surveyed the situation and knew precisely where his belongings were. Before he could say anything, Cranville brought his feet to the floor and stood up.

  “I’ll go find someone to make the necessary transfer, Alex. I believe your bride is looking a little peaked and may need some consoling. I take it this is the first time she has been away from home.” This last was meant to be an admonishment, and Alex accepted it with a bow.

  Amanda patted his arm again. “I must find Jacob and try to keep him out of trouble. Someday I hope I can thank you enough for what you have done for us.”

  She slipped away, leaving Alex standing there feeling like the greatest cad in existence. He had done nothing but take what he wanted. Now that he was trying to mend his errors, he tripped over lies and deceptions everywhere he turned. To share a cabin for six weeks with a woman he wanted more than life itself and not be able to touch her would be a living hell. Surely his sins were not so great as to deserve such punishment.

  Cautiously approaching the cabin the captain had sacrificed for the ladies, Alex knocked. The rustle of skirts told him Evelyn had had time to change out of her breeches. When the door opened, he could scarcely keep his gaze from the beauty revealed. Knowing that he was to be trapped in this dangerous company for nearly two months, he attempted to inoculate himself against temptation by searching for flaws.

  She had donned a warm gown of rust-colored wool. The ruffles of her chemise emerged from the elbow-length sleeves to spill over her wrists, and a white linen fichu at her throat modestly covered her from all eyes but his. He knew the creamy satin skin concealed beneath that flimsy cloth. He could almost feel the weight and warmth of her curves as he traced their shape beneath the bodice. Her breasts were flawless.

  Dragging his gaze upward, Alex suffered the full effect of her devastatingly long-lashed eyes. Flinching beneath that direct gaze, he longed to catch his fingers in her braids and loose the lovely silken waterfall of her hair. He clenched his fingers into his palms.

  “It seems we have a small problem, my love. May I come in?”

  Evelyn stepped back so he might enter. Alex carried with him a brisk, fresh sea scent, and his hair was still tousled from the wind. He discarded his cloak and gazed around the cabin as if judging its suitability. His head nearly brushed the timbers overhead, and the breadth of his chest blocked any possible retreat. Evelyn gulped at the pain of desire rippling through her. She felt as if his dark eyes could see right through her, and at this moment she prayed they would.

  “Problem?” she prompted him when he seemed in no hurry to speak.

  “Your mother objects to sharing a room with you. Do you have some unspeakable habits that I should know about?”

  The color surely fled her cheeks as she tried not to stutter. “I thought you would talk her out of it. Surely there cannot be too many other places she can sleep. We brought no maids with us. She would be quite alone.”

  “That does not seem to bother your mother overmuch. She has already coerced Cranville into helping her move her trunks. They will be back here shortly to begin the transfer.”

  “You call this a small problem?” Evelyn glanced frantically at the wide bed bolted to the floor. Evidently Cranville Enterprises provided the comforts of home for their trusted captains. There was easily room enough for two, even if one were as large as Alex. “What are we going to do?”

  “We can tell her we have agreed on an annulment,” he suggested with a trace of distaste. “Or we can make do as best we can. I leave the decision up to you.”

  She could not tell her mother that Alex wanted this marriage annulled. She could scarcely bring herself to consider the concept. The whole idea seemed dreadfully sordid. But then, there was the small matter of the bed. Fighting back a blush, Evelyn wound her fingers together. He seemed as uncomfortable as she. Recalling all the angry words she had flung at him this morning, she realized he must be dreading proximity too.

  “I don’t think I can tell her, Alex. I haven’t seen her this happy since before my father died. Is there no other solution?”

  Alex drew a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he kept his voice neutral. “We’ve muddled along this far, my love. We’ll manage somehow. I hear them coming. Shall we give them a picture of marital bliss?”

  Before Evelyn could protest, Alex wrapped her in his arms and silenced her complaint with his kiss. The sudden shock of his heat and strength after all these days of emptiness drove out any thought at all. Evelyn closed her eyes and drank in the heady liquor of his mobile mouth. Her knees weakened, and she knew only his arms kept her from falling.

  The partially open door opened under a well-placed kick. A sailor hauled in Alex’s trunk under the earl’s direction. Cranville’s cough ended their embrace, and Alex glared at the sailor’s grin.

  “I can see privacy will be a rare commodity.” Alex kept a possessive hand on Evelyn’s arm and set her aside so the others could enter. “Mrs. Wellington, if you would tell this scoundrel what to take, he can begin moving your trunks.”

  “Why don’t you call me Mother, Alex? Or Amanda, if you prefer. I don’t think the formalities are necessary any longer.” She swept in and pointed out her unpacked trunk for removal, then turned approvingly to the young couple. “I’m so happy for the two of you. Every time I look at you I think of John and myself when we were young, and it gives me a warm feeling inside. Do you mind terribly if I kiss you?”

  She gave Alex no time to object, but stood on her toes and planted a solid buss to his cheek when he leaned over to embrace her. Righting herself and gazing at them proudly, she nodded. “I think this shall be a most pleasant journey, if only I can keep Jacob out of the rigging. I’ll leave you two alone now.”

  Cranville leaned his slender frame against the door to watch. At Amanda’s departure, he straightened and winked. “I guess that means I must go amuse myself also. You wouldn’t happen to know who our other passenger is, would you? Perhaps I can strike up a game of cards.”

  Alex frowned. “Other passenger? Didn’t know we had one. Ask Oliver. It could be one of his old cronies.”

  The earl nodded and backed out, closing the door behind him. Alex glanced down at his nervous wife and wondered what she would do if he carried her to the bed and threw up her skirts. The rush of boiling blood to his loins warned that was not the proper direction for his thoughts. With regret, he dropped Evelyn’s arm.

  “We
might as well unpack and make ourselves at home. It’s going to be a long trip. Do you by any chance play cards?”

  Evelyn stepped away. “I am willing to learn. Will you teach me?”

  Thinking of the hours they would have to while away in each other’s company, Alex nodded. He would make one lousy teacher when all he could think of was getting his student into bed, but cards would keep his hands occupied. Sighing, he turned to unpacking his trunks.

  Their mysterious passenger did not appear that night at the dinner table.

  The earl complained of a chill and retired early without seeking a card-playing partner. Learning that Jacob had found a hammock and planned on sleeping in the crew’s quarters, Amanda Wellington remanded the care of the boy to Captain Oliver and his officers. Satisfied with this arrangement, she, too, retired early.

  Unable to leave Evelyn in the rough company of the ship’s officers, Alex escorted her back to their cabin. Leaving her to prepare for bed, he donned his cloak and went out on deck, hoping the cutting cold would chill his overheated blood.

  Oliver wasn’t a conversationalist, but Alex sought him out for the sheer sake of distraction. A few minutes of the captain’s obsequiousness was sufficient to send him pacing the deck.

  At the railing, he stared up at the cloud-covered sky. He had been brought up to the life of an idle gentleman, but he had learned to enjoy earning his own way these past few years. There were those who would scorn him for dabbling in trade, but he had learned to live with scorn long ago.

  It was his own scorn that he feared most. The more disgusted he became with himself, the worse he behaved. Cranville had given him an opportunity to reform, and Alex had accepted it with little enough gratitude at the time. Feeling the ship rolling beneath his feet now, knowing he was the one responsible for seeing that it made a profit, that lives other than his own relied on his decisions, he acknowledged his enjoyment of his change in circumstances.

  Still, there were the personal parts left unmended. Alienated from his only parent, uncertain how to develop a relationship with a younger cousin he had nearly ruined, and with only the older earl to call friend, he was returning to the boredom that had driven him to recklessness. London wasn’t Boston. His reputation as rake and bankrupt preceded him. He was shunned by genteel society and feared by the lesser sorts. He didn’t know how to fit in and had never really tried.

  Boston had been a revelation to him, a society where he could move about and be heard with respect. They were a tough people to know, but he thought he had done a creditable job. Was there any possibility that he could do the same in London if he tried?

  Thinking of the woman waiting below, Alex was willing to try anything. He couldn’t induce her to stay with a man who spent his nights in brothels and gaming hells and whose closest friend was a brandy bottle. She was accustomed to a close-knit circle of friends and relatives who respected and admired her intelligence and independence. Somehow, he would have to find a replacement for that circle if he were to make her happy.

  Acknowledging that what had brought on this train of thought was a desire to keep Evelyn with him, Alex shoved his hands in his coat pockets and lifted his head to scan the sky for some trace of the moon. His foolish cousin’s moon dreams, be damned. They were deuced rebellious, traitorous dreams, for all he could see.

  He didn’t know his own heart anymore, and he assuredly didn’t know his wife’s.

  Evelyn had fallen into an exhausted sleep by the time Alex returned to the cabin. Moving quietly so as not to disturb her, he stripped to breeches and shirt, found a spare blanket, and rolled up beside her. It was a hell of a way to spend a wedding journey, but he had come to a few conclusions this night. One of them was that he wanted this woman free and clear of all guilt and encumbrances.

  He knew he could seduce her and cancel all chance of any annulment. He knew he could make her pregnant and bind her to him for the rest of their lives. But Evelyn was worth changing his usual pattern to behave honorably.

  ***

  When Evelyn woke the next morning, Alex was already up and gone. Growing used to the mixed emotions that he engendered, she rose and dressed. Her husband had apparently decided to play the part of gentleman. The best she could do was pretend to be a lady.

  She found only Lord Cranville and her mother at the table. The earl looked pale and coughed intermittently while informing her that Alex had taken Jacob to explore the ship. Evelyn and her mother persuaded the earl to tend to his cough by returning to his bunk with warm blankets and hot rum.

  They passed the time by bringing out their mending kits and sorting through their less than fashionable clothes.

  When Alex found them cozily ensconced in the main room, he turned to leave, but Evelyn tossed him a skein of yarn to which she held one end.

  “Make yourself useful, my husband. If I am to spend these hours in ladylike knitting and sewing, you must needs attend me and keep us amused.”

  Propping his feet up on a nearby chair, Alex set about making himself agreeable. Hiding a grin, Evelyn assumed he had never intentionally attempted such a thing before. He gave her a wicked leer and began a half-naughty tale to make her a blush.

  ***

  Two days out, with the icy north wind freezing the lanyards, their mysterious passenger finally presented himself at the dinner table. Concerned about the earl’s health, Evelyn had neglected to ask Alex about the occupant of the other cabin. She glanced up in surprise when Thomas Henderson sauntered in. Alex swore vigorously under his breath.

  The lawyer bowed over their hands. “I fear it takes some time before I acquire a stomach for this kind of travel, but I was eager to have your lovely companionship, ladies. Forgive my delay in presenting myself. I trust everyone has fared better than I?”

  Evelyn removed her hand from Henderson’s. Catching a glimpse of Alex’s frown, she felt a moment’s joy at the possibility that her husband might be jealous of the handsome lawyer. Pressing her advantage, she offered Thomas a seat beside her.

  “You never mentioned that you intended to journey to England, Thomas. What brings you to join us?” Evelyn smiled up at him and was rewarded by Alex angrily hauling out a chair on her other side.

  “I have investments there that require tending, and I hoped to persuade some old friends to hear your case and perhaps have the appeal transferred to more neutral courts. I cannot bear to have your name sullied wrongly.”

  “My cousin and I are well able to look after my wife’s concerns, Henderson. You would do well to take your reports to your Tory friends and leave my wife out of them.” Alex casually rested his arm across the back of her chair as he leaned over to speak with the intruder.

  Evelyn diverted the subject. “How is Lord Cranville, Alex? Will he be well enough to come to dinner?”

  Alex frowned. “He said he felt a trifle feverish and thought it would be wiser to stay abed. I fear he caught cold with those long, chilling hours on the island. I forget that he is not accustomed to these climes.”

  “Then we must do everything to keep him warm. Have they put a brazier in his cabin?”

  “They have, and he’s resting nicely. I’m sure it will pass soon enough. Deirdre would quite literally have my head should I bring him home in less than the best of health. It has been nearly five years since they were married, but they still behave as newlyweds.”

  Alex spoke with fondness of the countess, but Evelyn heard the worry in his voice. He had so very little family that she understood his concern, but the look he gave her held other fears also. He had said the earl would live forever, and they need not worry over such things as titles and estates. This first hint that his cousin might be as mortal as anyone else cast doubt upon his assurances.

  Chapter 24

  Alex’s fears were justified by the end of the first week of their journey. The prevailing cold and damp worsened Everett’s cough and fever until there was no longer any question of his rising from his bed. Alex had a hammock hung in the earl’s
cabin and slept there during the night. Amanda and Evelyn took turns during the day waiting on him.

  Cranville wasn’t a difficult patient. He drank hot broths and submitted to cold compresses, but the congestion seemed to settle in his chest.

  When Alex came in one evening during the second week of their voyage to discover Everett fevered and barely conscious, he sought Evelyn and Amanda. “The brazier isn’t enough when he lies against the cold damp of the bulkhead. We have to move him.”

  Evelyn knew instantly what he meant. They had scarcely shared the wide double bed in the captain’s cabin since those first nights. Alex had contrived to sleep only when she wasn’t there or simply napped in the hammock in the earl’s cabin. He had done everything humanly possible to keep their agreement. The possibility that the earl might die on this voyage made it imperative that he do so. She was not a fitting countess in her mind, and obviously Alex had come to the same conclusion.

  “Let us move him to our cabin, Alex. We can nurse him better there in any case, and he will be away from the worst of the damp.”

  He winced but did not argue at this surrendering of their marriage bed, confirming her fears.

  The earl was too ill to protest the transfer. When he was conscious, he consumed as much liquid as his racking coughs allowed, but he spent most of his time in a semiconscious state. Alex paced the decks when he was not at his cousin’s side. He disliked helplessness. His only relief was Evelyn’s new cooperativeness. Instead of opposing him at every turn, she stood beside him and together they worked to keep the shadows of death at bay. Healing the sick diverted the energies they had once devoted to the passion that had brought them together.

  Still, Alex disliked stepping from the sickroom for a breath of air to find Evelyn entertaining the glib lawyer. The weariness and worry that lined her face when they worked together over the earl’s bed disappeared when she was with Henderson. She spoke easily with him, laughing and nodding in agreement to his lighthearted chatter. Alex was jealous of their ability to converse with such ease when all his conversations with his wife were conducted under a strain. He wished the lawyer to the devil and imagined ways of shoving him overboard.