First Time Femme

by D. L. Savage

  Holy shit, I thought, startled at the fact that I was fantasizing about a guy.

  What’s more, as I turned around and gazed up into his face, into those startling blue eyes, I realized that it wasn’t just any guy that I was fantasizing about either, but Jody.

  I knew there was no point in resisting it. I was too far gone in my fantasy to turn back now, so I gave in to it completely, imagining our mouths crushing together in a hungry animalistic kiss while Jody’s long slender fingers pushed beneath my dress.

  And as I continued to tease the head of my cock through my panties, I imagined that it was his fingers stroking me there, right in the middle of the crowded dance floor ...

  All of a sudden the pleasure crested inside me and I felt my muscles clenching. I sucked hard on my bottom lip, stifling a whimper as my tiny cock flooded the panties with hot creamy goo.

  But in what felt like the very next breath, I felt a sharp pang of shame and confusion at what I’d done, quickly pulling off the cum-stained panties and tossing them into the box, wondering what the hell was happening to me.

  It felt like I’d been under a spell and had suddenly snapped back to reality again. And as I bent down to put my own boxer shorts back on, that’s when I remembered the cool weight of that pendant dangling around my neck, the one that Jody had given to me, his voice echoing back through my head: malachite crystals are known to promote transformation in the wearer ...

  5

  The next morning, I padded down to the kitchen to grab myself something to eat. The house was strangely quiet and as I entered the room, I saw a handwritten note tacked to the refrigerator:

  Gone out to visit a friend for a few hours – back late afternoon, K x.

  To be honest, as much as I liked my aunt, at the same time it was kind of a relief to have the house to myself for a while, especially as I wanted some time to process what the hell had happened last night.

  It was so crazy. Never in my life had I had any interest in dressing up in girl’s clothes before, but when I’d found those boxes in the closet it was like a switch had tripped in my brain. I could still remember the odd feeling of powerlessness, almost like my body was being controlled against its will as I’d picked out the underwear and tried it on. And I could remember how amazing it had felt too – the tight snugness of the thong hugging my cock and balls, and the oddly comforting sensation of the bra, the fake breasts creating a gentle weight that tugged at my chest.

  I had to admit, it was addictive, and I could feel it all over again: that teasing voice whispering inside me, telling me to explore this new world further.

  But I managed to resist, pushing the urge to the back of my head as I set about the more immediate task of making breakfast ...

  * * *

  After some toast and orange juice, I headed back upstairs to take a shower, feeling a little more like my usual self again. Sure, the events of last night were still swirling around in the back of my head, but they now had more of a dreamlike quality, almost as if I’d imagined them.

  I stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind me then began to get undressed, peeling off my t-shirt and tossing it into the corner of the room, followed by my jeans and boxers.

  Then I set the shower running, and as I climbed into the tub I couldn’t help but stare down at the blonde fuzz of hair that grew on my calves, thighs and belly, a strange part of me wishing that my skin was smooth and hairless so that it would look even better the next time I dressed up.

  Again I tried to push the thoughts from my mind, telling myself there wouldn’t be a ‘next time’ and focusing on more immediate things like scrubbing my body clean. But as I stepped under the hot steam of the water and turned to reach for a bottle of shower gel, I caught sight of something else on the side the tub: my disposable razor.

  It was only supposed to be used on my face, but the more I stared at it, the more I wondered if I could perhaps use it on my legs too.

  I reached out and plucked it from the shelf, deliberating whether or not to try it out, part of me wondering if I was taking this a step too far, while another part of me reasoned that it was just hair – hair which would grow back before I went home to my folks house again, and who would ever know? What was so wrong exactly with trying out something like shaving my legs and chest? I’d seen masculine guys in porn who were shaved smooth everywhere, so what exactly would be the harm in trying it out myself? It was my body after all ...

  As I took the razor in one hand and can of shaving cream in the other, I felt a flash of tingling excitement and heady anticipation at the thought that once my body was shaved smooth, I’d look even better in Alex’s girly things ...

  * * *

  Back in the bedroom, I closed the door behind me then let my towel drop to the floor, padding over to the mirror to assess my handiwork. I couldn’t help but smile when I caught sight of my reflection, realizing that my legs looked so much more feminine now that they were baby smooth.

  I turned to check out my ass over my shoulder, again loving the way it looked now that my pert round cheeks were free from that blonde peach fuzz, and just like before in the kitchen I felt the nagging urge to try on a few more of the girly things in the closet.

  Well, at least I’m not bored any more, I reasoned, as I made my way excitedly toward the closet, my hands shaking as I pulled open the small white door and lifted out the cardboard box that I knew contained the underwear, setting it down on the floor as I began to root through, feeling like a kid on Christmas morning as I deliberated on which panties to try on next.

  In the end I found my attention caught by a yellow pair, made of some kind of silky shiny fabric. They seemed to be cut halfway between a thong and regular panties, and I felt excited to see how my butt looked in them, plucking them from the box and eagerly stepping into them.

  But I’d barely hitched them around my waist when I heard a sound that caused the blood to freeze in my veins.

  “Hello Hayden?”

  God damn it.

  It was Aunt Kate, and from the heavy tread of her footsteps on the staircase it sounded like she was heading right this way.

  Quick as a flash I shoved the cardboard box of underwear back into the closet, slamming the door closed before hurriedly grabbing my jeans and tugging them on, my shaky fingers just managing to button them up before the door to my room slammed open.

  “Oh dear, I am sorry!” Kate giggled as she caught me without a t-shirt on, quickly turning away again to give me some privacy. “I thought you’d be dressed by lunchtime,” she added. “I was just coming up to let you know that I was thinking of making chili for dinner tonight. That sound okay to you?”

  “Sounds great,” I croaked, my face reddening and my skinny arms folded over my scrawny torso, as I waited for her to leave me alone.

  To my relief she got the message, turning and heading off back down the hall again. As I pulled on my t-shirt, I breathed out a huge sigh of relied, knowing that it she’d burst into my room just a few seconds earlier, it would’ve been a whole different story ...

  6

  That afternoon I decided to go take a wander outside. I still felt kind of jittery after the close shave with Kate, and I wanted to just be by myself for a little while.

  So I began to explore the dusty paths and woodland area that ran all around the back of Kate’s place, and as I strolled, it was hard to ignore the strangely pleasurable feeling of my jeans swishing against my smooth legs. I’d never have guessed that shaving your legs would make such a big difference, but it really did, and I actually found myself enjoying the sensation of my pants brushing against my smooth tingling skin.

  The panties felt different, too. Not quite as intimate as a thong, but definitely way more snug and tight than the boring cotton boxer briefs I’d worn since I was a teenager.

  Most of all, it felt like I was hiding a naughty secret beneath my clothes, and as I wandered along the dirt path that was dappled with sunlight through the branches of the t
rees on either side, I found myself becoming lost in a daydream, as I imagined what it might feel like to wear a flimsy cotton summer dress instead of jeans and a t-shirt, my shaved legs on display and the warm air licking against my bare skin ...

  In fact, I’d gotten so wrapped up in my girly fantasy that it took me a few moments to realize that I’d stepped out into a large clearing at the edge of the trees, where a trailer was parked up. I paused, wondering if I was trespassing on somebody’s property, but it looked as if there weren’t any clear demarcations that this was private land.

  Just then, before I could take another step in either direction, the door to the trailer opened and out stepped a girl, dressed all in black like a goth, with a curtain of glossy black hair framing her pale face.

  I felt my heart begin to boom and I made to turn around and head back into the woods before she caught sight of me, but just at that moment her startling blue eyes locked onto mine.

  And that’s when I realized.

  Holy shit.

  The girl was Jody.

  “Surprise,” he laughed in his usual playful drawl, striking a pose in a sarcastic imitation of a catwalk model, the long black dress hanging perfectly against his slender body.

  “I’m uh, I’m sorry,” I muttered, feeling super embarrassed like I’d been caught spying on him, backing away a little. “I was just taking a walk and I think I must’ve taken a wrong turn.”

  “Either that,” he grinned, strolling confidently towards me, the long pitch black wig shining and glittering in the afternoon sun, “or else it was fate. And anyway,” he added, nodding back at the trailer, “now you know where I live, in case you ever want to come borrow a cup of sugar or whatever.”

  It seemed like everything he said had this playful double meaning to it, almost like he was flirting with me, and I felt my mind flashing back to that fucked up fantasy I’d had about the two of us making out.

  But now, seeing Jody dressed like this – his slim pale face made up so flawlessly, his lips done in vampish dark lipstick and his blue eyes rimmed by expertly-applied eyeliner and eye shadow – it was crazy.

  Because as a girl, he was super hot, so much so that it seemed kind of weird to even think of him as a he right now.

  “So you like?” he added just then, as if able to read my thoughts, gesturing once again to himself.

  “Uh, yeah,” I muttered, feeling my face burning with heat. “You look ... uh ... really good,” I added, hearing the nervous tremor in my voice as I spoke.

  “I’m just practicing my look for the solstice party tomorrow night,” he explained. “Any excuse to let my freak flag fly ...”

  He paused, looking me up and down, and even though I knew that the secret of my own shaved body and my skimpy panties was hidden from view, it was like he knew somehow.

  “You wanna come?” he said. “It should be pretty wild.”

  “Where’s it happening?” I asked, feeling like maybe I was getting in a little out of my depth and casting a quick glance back to the safety of the path behind me, too nervous to stare directly into his piercing blue eyes.

  “Right here in the forest,” he explained. “Come down any time after nine ...”

  “Okay, cool,” I muttered, already feeling myself start to back away. “I might do.”

  “Oh and Hayden?” he called after me as I set foot once more on the path.

  “Yeah?” I croaked, turning back to face him.

  “If you do decide to come,” he drawled, those big blue eyes burrowing right into me and a suggestive smile flickering on his lips, “make sure to dress up ...”

  7

  “Everything okay dear?” Aunt Kate asked, the following evening as we sat at dinner. “You’ve hardly touched any of your food. I thought all teenage boys loved mac and cheese?”

  “No, it’s really good, honestly,” I replied, forcing myself to scoop up another forkful and shove it into my mouth despite the butterflies fluttering around my stomach. “I’m just not that hungry.”

  “Suit yourself,” she said, before adding, “and if you do ever want to talk about anything, you know I’m always here, right?”

  “I know,” I replied. “Thanks.”

  As my mind turned back to the idea of Jody’s solstice party, my stomach did another flip. Could I really go to something like that? And was I imagining it, or did he somehow know about my crossdressing secret? It really seemed like that’s what he’d been suggesting – that just like him I should come to the party ‘dressed up’ as a girl ... But how the hell had he known? Was it written all over my damn face? And was that what Aunt Kate was trying to talk to me about, too?

  “Say, Kate,” I muttered, “I might go out to the woods later. I haven’t decided yet, but there’s this stupid solstice party happening or something and I might go check it out ...”

  “You totally should!” she laughed, her chubby face lighting up, her nosering glittering. “It’s about time you went out and cut loose. That sounds it could be a lot of fun.”

  I guess I’d known that she’d be cool with the idea – after all, she was the polar opposite of my uptight, controlling mom – but even so, I found a weird part of me actually wishing that she’d put her foot down, shook her head, and told me no, that I shouldn’t be going out into the woods late at night, therefore making the decision for me.

  Because I still hadn’t even decided if I was going or not, not to mention whether I dared to ‘dress up’ just like Jody had suggested ...

  * * *

  Nine o clock came and went and I still hadn’t truly decided anything. I paced my room, occasionally casting a nervous glance over at the closet door, then pausing to listen to the sounds of the house – hearing the soft splash of Kate taking another long bath down the hallway.

  Just before ten, I heard the soft creak of the floorboards as she headed to bed, my blood charging in my veins as I realized that if I wanted to do this, I’d better start getting ready.

  Sucking in a soft shivery breath, I padded over to the window, staring out across the darkness of the woods, catching sight of a soft orange glow in the distance, not far from Jody’s trailer, and where I guessed the party must be taking place.

  My intrigue growing, I popped the lock on the window then pushed it open, a soft pulsating hum of music and voices carrying over on the balmy air. Just then I heard louder voices, and I quickly moved out of sight as it sounded like they were walking right down the path at the back of Kate’s house.

  Sure enough, as I peeked out, I saw three figures heading down the dirt path and into the woods. At first, from their long hair and flowing dresses, I thought they were all girls, but the voices didn’t match – one was soft and feminine while two were low and masculine – and it took another moment for me to clock that of course, two of them were guys, crossdressers, just like Jody, just like me ...

  Spurred on by the sight, I sprang into action, knowing deep down that I would totally regret this opportunity if I let it slip away, so I turned and raced back to the closet, pulling it open and taking out the cardboard boxes, as I began to select my outfit ...

  * * *

  God damn it, I thought, my frustration rising by the second as I fucked up my eyeliner for the third time in a row, drawing another crooked line that didn’t even come close to mirroring the shape of my eyelid.

  With a pissed off sigh, I licked my finger and tried to smudge it away, hoping the dark smear it left on my cheek didn’t ruin my look too much.

  The outfit itself had gone without a hitch – the silky white blouse and black skirt working so well together it was kind of crazy, making my body look so damn slim and girly that I found it hard to stop looking at my reflection in the mirror. I’d tried to go for the most gothy things in Alex’s collection, although he seemed to favor pretty short, tight things. And the black skirt I’d picked out barely covered my thighs, so I’d added a pair of black stockings to the outfit too, which I just hoped looked as good as they felt, clinging to my smooth
calves and thighs like a second skin.

  And beneath my outfit, I’d chosen a black bra and matching black thong, which made me feel sexy and girly, all at once.

  I just tried to push the frustration of my failed makeup attempts from my head, telling myself that it would be dark at the party and that I still hopefully looked kinda pretty without it.

  Then, with a final shivery breath, I realized it was time. Time to go.

  I slipped on my sneakers then tiptoed to the door to the room, easing it open and then pausing, my heart in my throat as I listened to the silence of the house, hoping to god that Kate was fast asleep by now.

  Once I was sure it was safe, I slipped out, easing the bedroom door closed behind me and then walking in super slow motion along the corridor on my way to the stairs.

  And I’d almost reached them, my hand touching the bannister, when all of a sudden the hallway was illuminated in bright electric light, and I heard a familiar voice behind me.

  “Hayden, is that you?”

  I span around, my heart in my throat, my stomach dropping through the floor. “It’s ... It’s not what it looks like, Kate,” I stammered. “Really, I’m just ...”

  “Oh thank god,” she replied, holding her hand to her chest in relief. “I thought a stranger had broken in.”

  Then she paused, before adding with a grin, “What? You think this is the first time I’ve caught a teenager boy sneaking out of here dressed like that?”

  I stared at her, open mouthed, as it slowly dawned on me that Kate must have known about Alex’s secret life all along.

  “Oh,” I murmured, head still spinning.

  “So you’re going to that party after all?” she added.