Cry For You

by Candy J. Starr

  "You sound like you are on top of it all," I said, although I was the one who wanted to be on top of it all. "Carry on like you intended."

  I gave him the thumbs up then walked back to the house before he could start talking again. I was not going to waste my entire morning chatting about air conditioning units.

  Tex called out as I came in the door. "Toast and coffee will be fine."

  "Bastard. You could've made breakfast while I was out." I laughed though.

  Who cared who made breakfast? I put all my fears and insecurities away for the moment. I wanted to bask in the morning after glow. Then make some more glows to bask in.

  "I'm exhausted. I had to rock people last night. That takes it out of a man."

  "Yeah right." I laughed again, leaning on the doorframe to look at him in case his incredible hotness had just been a figment of my imagination. Luckily, it hadn’t and he was still as hot as he had been when I’d left him.

  "Seriously, Ruby." He gave me the puppy dog eyes that made my stomach flip-flop. "Just give me a day to revel in my glory. You can go back to hanging shit on me tomorrow."

  I had to agree with that. If he wanted breakfast, I guess I could make it for him. After all, he had rushed back after the festival to be with me with no recriminations, not even a trace of annoyance at what I’d done. He understood these fundamental things about me that nobody else did.

  As I slipped back under the covers, breakfast was the last thing on my mind. Tex was warm and solid and doing amazing things to my body by just being beside me. I was turning into a sex-crazed fool.

  Chapter 4

  Denise

  How do you cope with your grey and boring life after you've come so close to your dream? It just made the rest of your life bleak by comparison. Monday morning meant back into the commuter crush then putting on the headset and listening to people complaining about the level of service they received. It was like going from a bloody queen to a pauper in one fell swoop.

  On top of it all, I'd gotten a cold. I bet it was from having to sleep out under that tarp in the drizzling rain. I couldn't take time off. I'd done too much of that lately and I needed the cash, so I took cold tablets and suffered. My body was like a 70-year-old's. The scrunched up, used tissues quickly built up in a pile on my desk, since we had one of those no bin policies at work and I couldn't keep walking all the way to the lunch room.

  At least I had the memory of Tex's eyes sparkling in my heart to keep me warm. It took so much effort to concentrate at work instead of sinking into a comforting daydream of how life could be. If I were with Tex, there'd be no waking up to a freezing cold apartment and having to run to the shower to stay warm. There'd be no drudging through a day of miserable customers and there'd be no empty bed to slip into every night.

  The "no empty bed" bit was the best bit, naturally.

  At lunchtime, I didn't even feel like eating and, trust me, lunch is the best bit of my work day. Usually I get a toasted ham and cheese sandwich from the shop downstairs but I couldn't be bothered. What was the point in eating? What was the point in anything? I'd reached the pinnacle of my life and it'd be all downhill from now on.

  After lunch my supervisor called me over.

  "I've noticed you aren't at your best today," she said.

  What the hell do you say to that? Agree and you've screwed yourself, disagree and you get in the bad books. I just kept my eyes down.

  "If you aren't well, you shouldn't be here. Although I've noticed you've had a lot of time off sick lately." She shook her head. "I'm not sure what you can do about it but just get on top of things, okay?"

  So I wasn't supposed to be at work when I was sick but I wasn't supposed to take time off either? That was call centre supervisor logic for you. Screw her. If it wasn't for the access to Tex's phone records, I'd tell her to stick her job.

  It was quiet during the afternoon so I checked his phone records again. He wasn't a man who used his phone often. I'd gotten his address from the records but, without a car, I couldn't do much investigating. He lived in the middle of nowhere. There was only a crappy bus that ran there.

  I'd tried going out there on the bus a few times. Pretended I'd fallen asleep and missed my stop then "woke up" at the end of the line. Often, because it was the last stop, the driver would get off and have a smoko and I'd have to stretch my legs. But, the last time I'd tried that, the driver actually remembered me.

  "Make sure you don't fall asleep this time," he said. Then he gave me a wink.

  I blushed like a fool. He'd sprung me.

  "You can spend my smoko with me any time," he said. "No need to make excuses. It's my last run before the end of the shift, if you wanna stick around."

  He winked again and gave me a weird look that made my skin crawl. He thought I'd been doing it because I was into him? What a chump. I sneered and grabbed my ticket then sat down. Two stops later, I made a big show of getting off the bus. You have no idea what a creep that guy was. Like I'd think about him for two seconds with his slimy face and his chubby little fingers.

  There was no way I'd catch the bus again unless I was 100% sure he'd not be driving. But how else would I get there? I needed a car and I needed an excuse for being at the house.

  Then I had a totally inspired idea. Thank you, brain, for being so genius. Bloody hell, why had I not thought of it before? The perfect job for me. Pizza delivery driver!

  That pizza place that he ordered from, surely they'd need drivers. I had my driver's licence even if I didn't own a car and hadn't driven for five years. If I worked for them, it'd just be a matter of time before Tex ordered a pizza. I could organise my call centre shifts around it and make some extra money.

  Yeah, that made my blood race and made me feel alive again.

  "What's up with you?" my supervisor asked. "You suddenly look a lot better."

  "Just happy to be meeting my KPIs," I replied.

  There were still no calls coming through though so I went on the fan forum. I hadn't been on for a while because I'd been angry with the world but, with my awesome plan in place, I could be forgiving.

  I wasn't sure how much I should say about my night at the festival. Of course, I wanted everyone to know I got to be right up on the side of the stage but you can't just blurt that out like a big bragger. But I had to tell them. In the end, I kept it vague and dropped some hints. Stuff like, "I couldn't really see that clearly from where I was standing, that's the worst thing about having all area access."

  Enough to let people know I wasn't among the regular crowd but no details about how I got there.

  I rang the pizza place that night.

  "You want to be a delivery driver?" the guy on the phone said.

  "Yep, that's what I said."

  There was a pause, a long pause. I could almost hear him scratching his butt and mulling it over in his brain. I guess you don't need to be Einstein to run a pizza shop but this guy sure had some rusty cogs up there.

  "You still there?" I asked when the silence had gone too long.

  "Well, it's just that we've never had a woman driver before. Sure you can handle it? Sometimes we get drunks who don't wanna pay, real low lifes..."

  "Yeah, I can handle it. No one messes with me. I'd like to see them try." Like I'd let some loser put it over me. They'd come off the worst of it.

  "Well, come in for a trial. We can never get anyone to stick to the job. You're sure you wanna do it?"

  "Yep, I'm saving for... a holiday. I need the money and I'm a hard worker." Just give me the damn job. I tapped my foot, waiting for him to say “yes”.

  "Okay then." He gave me the details and told me to come in the next night for the trial.

  How hard could it be? I just had to drive around and give people their pizzas. It wasn't rocket science. Sure, I might be a bit rusty on the driving side of things but that'd come back to me.

  Except it didn't. On my first delivery, I stalled the car about fifteen times and almost backed it into a pole.
When I say almost, I mean you couldn't actually see the dint in the bumper so it didn't count. I was late with the delivery and the chick gave me an earbashing about it. I just handed her the pizza and walked off with the money, flipping her the bird. Wasn't like the pizza was cold or anything and she really didn't look like she needed to be eating pizza anyway.

  When I got back to the shop, Tony – that was the boss's name – was a bit het up.

  "But it's my first delivery. I'll get better."

  I'd figured out early in the game that he needed me more than I needed him. He had three drivers. One was a stoner who only turned up for his shifts half the time and it was pretty certain he was dealing pot on the job. The second guy could only work weekends and there was too much work for just one guy then anyway. The third guy was a pimple-faced kid who'd quake in his boots if someone looked at him sideways. I knew that because I tested it out. Poor little bastard almost shat himself.

  Obviously, Tex didn't order pizza that night. That'd be too much of a miracle and miracles don't happen in my life. What happens in my life is me. I make shit happen. I did drive out there that night after my last delivery though. No point having a company car if you don't make the most of it.

  It was a dark night and I couldn't exactly drive up the driveway and flash my headlights around the place, so I parked the car and walked up the hill, staying under the cover of the trees. The last time I'd been out there, the house site had been flattened after the fire, just a weed-covered block. Now, the construction of the new house was underway. I wondered what the new house would be like. I’d spent hours imagining it. Tex and I in the new house was one of my favourite daydreams.

  I sat on the building site for a while. No sound came from the recording studio though. I couldn't stick around for long. Didn't wanna get on Tony's bad side. Who knows that he didn't have mafia connections, being Italian and all.

  A week later and still no order from Tex. How the hell does someone go a full week without ordering pizza? I'd gotten into the pizza system and found out that sometimes he ordered online. There was also another number registered for his address. Maybe he had a second phone with another carrier. That really screwed up all my stalking efforts. I couldn’t work for two call centres.

  I wasn't sure how long I could stand the suspense. What if one of those other bozos got the order? I couldn't deliver every pizza myself. I had thought of slashing their tyres so I was the only driver but that'd be a real pain in the butt. The pizza shop job was easy though, and I got to take home free pizza at the end of the night. Much easier than working in the call centre. Pity the pay was pretty shit.

  I worked the Thursday night shift. Statistically, that was the night Tex was most likely to order pizza. It'd been quiet. I reckon because it'd been one of those lovely sunny spring days. No one wanted pizza. They wanted to go out and sit in the sun enjoying it. It'd been a bitterly cold winter and you have to make the most of rare sunshine.

  Then I heard Tony call out the pizza order. Meat lovers with pineapple and a pepperoni. Was it? I jumped up, beating the pot dealer to get the order.

  "Hey, that's my job," he drawled. But if you can't outwit a stoner, who can you outwit?

  I rushed out with the pizza boxes in my hand and my heart in my mouth. I was sweating and chills raced through me. Holy hell, was this going to be it? Would I actually meet Tex?

  When I got in the car, I pulled my emergency kit out of my bag. I had it on hand at all times in case I had a Tex meeting situation. It had some mascara and lipstick as well as a sexy perfume to hide the pizza smell. Although I reckon most blokes would prefer the smell of pizza to some fancy perfume.

  All tizzed up, I checked the address on the slip. It was the wrong address. What the... There were other people out there who ordered meat lovers with pineapple. Curse them. I opened the lid of their pizza box and spat on their pizza. That'd teach them to screw with me.

  I returned to the pizza shop with a heavy heart. Maybe this had been a fool idea. Maybe Tex had decided to get his pizza fix elsewhere. I mean, Tony's pizzas weren't exactly the best in town. If you had the choice, Mario's across town would be the pizza of choice. Tony's were okay if you just wanted to fill a hole in your belly but they weren't a patch on Mario's.

  I sat in the back room off the kitchen of the pizza shop, flicking through a magazine and waiting for another order to come through. In the kitchen, I could hear Tony going off at Drew, the stoner.

  "Wha’ cha doing? Delivering to the wrong address and then leaving the pizza there?"

  Tony was not happy. I didn't hear Drew's response.

  "You bring the pizza back. Not leave it."

  "But they paid for it. They were really chuffed to get a pizza and they were starving. You can make another one."

  "I make them a free one and it comes out of your pay."

  I laughed to hear Drew get in trouble. I didn't like that guy. His piggy little stoner eyes freaked me out. Moron. Delivering the pizza to the wrong place. Although, I bet it happened often, delivering to the wrong place.

  Then the genius idea hit me.

  "Hey, Tony, can I knock off early?" I asked. "I've had a long day and I'm bushed."

  "Sure, sweetie."

  In just a week, I'd become Tony's favourite. I didn't dick around like the guys did and, after I got back into the groove of driving, I was the fastest of them. Hell, it felt good to have wheels again. Maybe I'd save my pizza money to buy a car.

  "That meat lovers with pineapple you made earlier smelt good. Can you make me one to go?"

  "Sure thing. Just a small?"

  "No, family size."

  "Not family size.” He threw his hands in the air. “You should get a man then you wouldn't be eating a family size pizza alone. It's not right for a woman with child-bearing hips to be single."

  Because he was my boss and I kinda liked the guy, I didn't knock his teeth out.

  I pretty much hovered over him while he made that pizza, coaxing him to add extra toppings, then I stared at the pizza oven, willing it to cook faster. How long could a friggin' pizza take to cook anyway? When I couldn't stand it any longer, I picked up a cloth and started wiping down the benches and cleaning. That was another reason I was Tony's favourite. I didn’t just sit around, scratching my butt, if things were slow.

  My heart pounded. That pizza had to be perfect. It had to be the greatest pizza ever cooked. I wanted that pizza to convey all my feelings of love. It would be the pizza of dreams.

  Finally, it was done.

  "Thanks, Tony. I'm taking the car too. I'm too woozy to take the bus."

  Tony just nodded. That was the best thing about being his favourite, he let me borrow the pizza car sometimes.

  I got out the emergency kit again. Then I hiked my boobs up in my bra. I had to wear the ugly Tony's Pizza polo shirt or I'd not look like I was a real pizza delivery person but I undid all the buttons.

  My fingers tapped on the steering wheel as I put my foot flat to the floor. I did it. I'd come up with the perfect plan. Maybe Tex would invite me in to eat the pizza with him. I mean, that'd be only fair when he got free pizza.

  I got to the end of the road and indicated to turn up the driveway. For a moment, I considered getting out my phone and taking a selfie to preserve this moment forever. The "before" picture. The end of my sad single life. But then it'd just delay my meeting with Tex.

  Hell, I had to take a few deep breaths when I pulled up. That lump in my throat threatened to choke me and I was nearly peeing my pants. Maybe I could ask to use his toilet.

  I walked up to the studio, handling that pizza like it was precious gold, then knocked on the door. This would be the moment my life changed.

  Chapter 5 Ruby

  "Tex, did you order pizza?"

  The girl standing on the doorstep wasn't the normal delivery guy but she wore the same shirt. She also wore a helluva lot of make up for someone delivering pizza. I couldn't help but stare at the huge smudge of mascara at the side o
f her eye. It was disconcerting.

  I wasn't sure when Tex would've ordered the pizza since we'd been fooling around for the past hour. Maybe he'd pre-ordered it as a surprise for me. That would only make me love him more. The smell wafted into the studio and I wished she’d just hand it over instead of standing there with her mouth open. There really seemed to be something a bit wrong about her. Not just the weird makeup but the way her eyes darted around.

  "Just a minute," I said to her. "I'll get some money for you. How much is it?"

  The girl didn't say anything, she just sneered at me. She wasn't nearly as nice as the usual guy and he wasn't exactly good, but at least he didn't sneer or snarl. She must've been in a hurry and getting pissy because Tex hadn't answered me. She probably had a heap of other pizzas to deliver and didn’t want to be dicked around.

  "Hurry up, Tex."

  God, if he was going to order a surprise pizza, he could be organised enough to pay for it. Why hadn’t he just paid online? The way she glared at me made me feel really uncomfortable. It was a death stare of hate out of all proportion to the situation.

  I wasn't exactly in a state to be standing around on the doorstep. I'd gotten up to go the toilet when she’d banged on the door. Since I’d been naked, I just threw a blanket around me. It’d been a bit of a shock anyway. I sure wasn't expecting anyone and had turned on the light to check then looked out the window in case it was just something banging in the wind. I nearly jumped through the roof when I saw her face peering back at me, pressed up tight to the glass. Maybe she'd knocked a few times and we hadn't heard her.

  It was a warm night but a breeze fluttered around my naked legs and under the blanket, making me self-conscious about my own nakedness. I had one hand holding the blanket tight around me and the other hand out for the pizza but she wouldn’t pass it over.

  Maybe she had some kind of problem because she hadn't moved, she just kept sneering. Her nostrils flared and her eyes narrowed as if she wasn't even sure I was human.