Cry For You

by Candy J. Starr

  Bloody hell. I'd meant to take it back but I could never deliver another pizza again. I couldn't even go back near the pizza place. The smell of pizza was the smell of my personal defeat now. It wasn't like it was his only pizza delivery car. He had the other one.

  Anyway, before I took it back, I needed to clean out the vomit from That Night. I'd been very distressed. When you get that upset on a stomach full of pizza, it's going to turn nasty.

  "I took it back. I parked it out the back and put the keys through the letter slot. If it's not there, someone has stolen it."

  "Someone has stolen it and that someone is you. You don't wanna mess with Tony."

  Was that a threat? A genuine mafia threat? I'd be swimming with the fishes? Well, that would save me the bother of drowning myself. Let them come for me.

  I hung up the phone and took the battery out. It wasn't like Tony knew where I lived. I'd given him a fake address and fake ID. Maybe he could track me down eventually but it'd take him a while and he wasn't real bright. I mean, if you have crazy tracking down people skills, you aren't going to waste your time opening a pizza shop.

  Or would you? That's how I'd stalked Tex. Had I ever ordered pizza from Tony? Did he have my home address in his system somewhere? Hell, the mafia were coming for me.

  Since I was up anyway, I might as well get something to eat. Not pizza. I'd never eat pizza again. That's how evil that bitch was, she had even turned pizza against me. I found some fried chicken in the fridge. I sniffed it and it smelt okay so I ate that, washed down with the remains of warm, flat Coke from the bottle beside my bed.

  Well, that perked me up, like a slap in the face.

  And what I realised was this – I'd been a sucker. A dumb sucker. And my pathetic little excuses for revenge wouldn't cut it. I needed a plan. That's exactly what was needed here. I needed to get this bitch where it hurt. She'd taken everything that mattered in my life from me and I had to do the same to her. That wasn't a revenge for red hot fury. It was a slow burning revenge. A revenge that took planning and finesse. It'd be like the pinnacle of my life's work.

  She'd been laughing at me when I ran out of there. Cackling like an evil cow. I'd never forget her red hair flying around her as she threw her head back, crowing with glee at my defeat.

  Well, I'd be the one having the last laugh. I'd crush her to the ground and stomp on her and then I'd laugh. I'd never stop laughing. She'd be like a maggot crawling in the dirt and I'd have Tex and my life would be complete.

  Step one of my plan had to be finding out more about her. I had to know everything. That meant going to work so I could get phone records for starters. There'd been a second phone number for Tex's address at the pizza shop so step one point (a) would be to go back to the pizza shop and get that number. Step one point (b) was to use that number to get all her details from the records at the call centre. The perfect combination of information-getting. That’s why people have jobs.

  Step two would be to use that information to destroy her.

  That also meant ringing Tony back and sucking up to him. I needed that job for at least one more night. I'd have to have a good story to tell him. My mother was dying of some horrible disease and I was temporarily out of my head. That would require more than just a phone call. I'd have to go in person and put on the tears. Tears worked every time.

  Then I'd have to go back to the call centre. Should I try the sick mother thing there? I think I'd done it before though – maybe more than once. I needed something else for them. They were short staffed though so I'd get away with some lousy story. Maybe some gory details of female problems.

  And suddenly, my stomach rumbled. I'd hardly eaten a thing in a week. That fried chicken didn’t count. What the hell was I thinking? I'd get scurvy and die if I didn't get some food into me.

  -0-

  It hadn't taken much to get her name and some basic details but this chick was good. She didn't have much online, that's for sure. No Facebook account, no other social media. Was she a ghost or something? I needed much more dirt. I couldn't spy on her 24 hours a day. Not with being back at the pizza place and at the call centre. She didn't even have any personal calls in her phone records. Just calls to the pizza place and other stuff like that. No parents? No family? No friends? That was just freaky.

  I’d been checking some things at home because there is a limit to the electronic trail you wanted to leave on a work computer. I snooped around as much as I thought possible the night before but I’d woken up with the brain wave to use her initials. That still was a bust.

  The lists of facts I had about "Ruby" was scarily short. She sure as hell didn't have a job because I never saw her leave the studio. She must just sponge off Tex. And she had no social life that I could see. Obviously, she was not an appropriate girlfriend for Tex. She seemed like a bit of a dead shit to me.

  I needed to google information on becoming a hacker. That would be a life skills enhancement. There couldn't be no records of her at all. She’d even got her phone fairly recently and I couldn't find any prior number for her. The whole situation stunk of suspiciousness to me. Who hides their past that well? Only criminals. I wondered the best way to find out if she had a prison record. There was a "prison bitch" look about her.

  I snooped around the fan forum to see if anyone had any dirt on Tex having a girlfriend. There was nothing there. Of course, some of those lamers were all uptight about posting personal details. The way I saw it, if you are a superstar, your life is fair game.

  The only gossip I could find was the rumour about Brownie getting engaged. That had been floating around for a while. Good luck to him. I always thought of him as the little brother type. It was sweet that he was getting married. I mean sweet in the way that I would probably end up being BFF with his wife when I married Tex.

  While I was online, a message popped up.

  New shows!

  Was I seeing things? My stomach flopped with excitement. I'd be buggered if some bastard would get those tickets before I did. I had to go to those shows. Nothing would stop me. Getting tickets even took priority over my revenge plan.

  Was it even coincidence that the show was announced as soon as I decided to get revenge? I thought not. It was like I’d received a stamp of approval from Tex for my scheme.

  Because they were smaller shows, the tickets would be available at the venues as well as online outlets. I'd stake the place out and make sure I was first in line. Then I'd not have to freak about my dodgy internet connection and stupid server crashes and all that kind of bollocks. Doing it the good old fashioned way, that was best. That way the spoils go to those with the determination. No guts, no glory.

  I checked the clock. Only 20 minutes before I needed to sign in at work – and it was a 25 minute commute – but I couldn't leave the internet when news like that had just broken. I needed to plan my strategy. There was a good five minutes of my train ride where I was out of phone signal and anything could happen in that time.

  I posted on the forum to see if anyone wanted to wait out overnight with me. It meant more competition for tickets but I'd feel like an idiot sitting out all night on my own and, I guess, other people had to go to the gig not just me. It never hurt to be social with people once in a while. That's how you got people to do favours for you. Hell, I'd even take them pizza. That was even better for getting favours from people.

  And, if you are going to camp out all night, you couldn't do it alone. There are times in life you need other people and the most important of those was for keeping your spot in line while you went to the toilet.

  I'd get a ticket for those shows. I just knew I would. And somehow, it felt like that would be step one in my revenge plan.

  Chapter 7 Tex

  Hannah had found a new space for us to use for rehearsal. I was on my way to meet her there. I’d tell her about this chick and see what she suggested.

  I stared out the cab window, thinking I really should buy a car. Hell, I hadn’t driven a car in year
s and we were in such an isolated spot out there. If some crazy came nosing around, we were sitting ducks. Especially Ruby, there alone.

  The thought of that almost made tell the driver to turn back home. I didn’t even know if Ruby could drive. I’d never seen her drive or heard her talk about it. I could teach her though. That made me grin, the thought of teaching her to drive. That’d result in a few fights. And tears, most likely mine.

  That pizza delivery chick had scared the bejesus out of me. Of course, I didn’t want to let Ruby know that. She got freaked so easily. She’d just been getting on board with the whole going to watch me play and being part of my life thing that I didn’t want her pulling away from me. So, when she said anything, I laughed it off. There was no point getting her all upset for no reason.

  But I’d been around long enough to know what a fan looked like when they’d crossed the line. I’d had some crazy ones all right. When you first start out in this business, well, when I first started out, I was young and stupid. Having some woman creep her way into your hotel room and offer it all up seemed like a huge perk. Sometimes, I’d get back to my room and find some chick naked in my bed. I didn’t question how she got there or what her motives were. If she said she just wanted to spend the night with me, I’d go for it. Any guy, if he’s young and single and full of hormones, would.

  The thing was, even when they said it’d just be one night and they’d be gone in the morning, they usually weren’t. The next morning it’d be “take me on tour with you, Tex,” or “when will you be back in town?” Like one blowjob would make you lose your mind over them.

  Some of them were okay but there’d been some real nutters. They’d cling to you and lose their shit. Threatening to kill themselves, threatening to kill me. Saying they’d sell their stories to the tabloids. Begging and pleading. One of them had drawn a knife on me once. I’ve still got the scar on my forearm where she swiped at me.

  It was the eyes. In the end, I worked that out. Even when they were being sweet and obliging, some of them had that look in their eyes like they didn’t really see you but saw something else entirely. They wanted a dream or salvation and you were just the form they’d given to it.

  Of course, some weren’t like that. Hell, some of them had been a heap of fun and maybe I would’ve been tempted to take one of them along to fool around with on tour but I had one big stop sign preventing that. I’d have had to introduce them to Julie.

  Never going to happen.

  I never told any of the groupies this but it was as much for their own protection as anything. Julie would’ve made minced meat out of them. She held nothing back when she put the “not good enough for my brother” stamp on someone.

  I wondered what she would’ve thought of Ruby. Ruby would never have got that stamp that’s for sure. If anything, the two of them would’ve ganged up on me and I’d come off the worst.

  Well, that’s what it would’ve been like in the good times. Before Julie got into the drugs, or the drugs got into Julie. Maybe, if someone like Ruby had been around instead of all the crazies, Julie would still be with me.

  I’d do anything to protect Ruby. I’d wrap her up and save her from the entire world if I could. But she was a weird mix of soft and tough. Sometimes so vulnerable and other times fiery as hell. I never knew how much I could shelter her. I’d kill before I’d let the things that happened to Julie happen again though.

  God, it was tough. I’d never been this conflicted over a woman before. I’d wanted to move the rehearsal somewhere else so she didn’t have to deal with us playing at the studio all the time but I hated leaving her alone.

  But then, I’d have told her I loved her and have set a wedding date if I wasn’t so conflicted. Our future was together. It had to be. I was nothing without her. But she hated any kind of attention. What kind of a life could I offer her? Not the life she wanted, that’s for sure. That pizza chick would be the tip of the iceberg once the public found out about us.

  I got to the rehearsal space. Hannah was already there.

  “Looks fine to me but then what do I know?” she said.

  I grinned and took a look around. It wasn’t too shabby and it was conveniently located for all of us.

  “I’m happy,” said Devon, and Brownie nodded.

  “It looks like this is it then. I don’t really want to be buggering around looking at places.”

  While Brownie set up his drum kit, I took Hannah aside and told her about the pizza chick.

  “Maybe she was just shocked to see you,” Hannah said. “Imagine if you were a fan and you are just going about your day, delivering pizzas. You turn up at some shack in the middle of nowhere and the guy answering the door is your favourite rock star. You’d be a bit stunned.”

  I scratched my chin. That was true but it was the eyes. I couldn’t really put it in words but there was something wrong there. Then, I’d only got a brief glimpse of her before she’d run off.

  “Let me know if anything else weird happens. And maybe order your pizza from somewhere else.”

  I nodded. That chick would not be coming back, that’s for sure.

  “What’s the matter, Tex? Seeing ghosts or something?” Devon sneered. “Not everybody’s after you.”

  What did he know? Maybe if he was a bit more wary of people around him, things would’ve turned out differently all around. Devon was a dick, that’s for sure. I ignored him and plugged in my guitar. We were there to rehearse, not to be friends.

  Chapter 8 Ruby

  "Ruby, it's awesome to see you!" The look of surprise on Lizzie's face spoke volumes. And she wasn't the only one to look at me like that. I might be a crotchety hermit but I did leave the house and socialise sometimes. It was just that I preferred not to.

  It was Brownie and Lizzie's engagement party, so I had to go. I’d not spent much time with them but really liked both of them. They were easy to be around and didn't give me grief if I needed some alone time. They weren't those pushy “get out of your comfort zone” types.

  I'd even worn a cute dress that I'd ordered online. I so rarely got out of sweat pants that it'd taken me half the morning to shave my legs. Then Tex pushed me on the bed saying he wanted to know if sex with me was different with smooth legs. I think there were huge flaws in his logic but I wasn't complaining.

  I was fine. I kept telling myself that, trying to believe it.

  Lizzie took us through the house to the garden and handed us beers. The garden was full of people, which gave me an uneasy moment, but Tex squeezed my hand and gave me the reassurance that came from being with him.

  "There's some food on the table if you're hungry."

  Some food? It's a wonder that table didn't collapse with all that food on it. Socialising did have its good points. My mouth watered just looking at that massive table full of food. There were three big sponge cakes and a bowl of something that looked like chocolate pudding as well as trays and trays of savouries. Then there were mountains of salads. Not the crappy lettuce and tomato kind but premium salads like potato.

  “Was I supposed to bring something?” I never knew the right thing to do.

  “Of course not. And it’s not like we need more food.”

  The smell of the BBQ wafted over to me, making my stomach rumble with delight. Brownie stood by the grill wearing a “kiss the cook” apron with a BBQ tool in his hand.

  I was so glad that Tex’s bandmates were so down to earth. I’d have hated going to some fancy shindig with snotty rich people. Even though FORSAKEN had made some major money on the festival and were selling more than they ever had, the guys were still ordinary. Well, except for Devon. But even he’d be like he was regardless of the success or failure of the band.

  Even though I smiled and acted happy, it'd been a real struggle for me to come along to this party. The thought of meeting new people and making conversation with them almost had me crying in the corner. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd voluntarily gone to a party. Maybe back before I dr
opped out of uni – and even it was a rare thing.

  I’d intended on making an excuse the morning before the party so I could get out of it but I really wanted to prove to Tex that I could be normal. I wasn’t some wilting violet who needed to be mollycoddled. He didn’t need a girlfriend like that.

  Tex wandered off to talk to Brownie while Lizzie took me under her wing. We walked over to a shady spot under a tree where a group of people sat in a circle. She pulled up a chair for me then introduced me around. Her friends and family. She seemed to have a never ending supply of friends and family. How ever did she keep track of them all?

  "Ruby is fantastic," she told someone. "She is a games programmer. I have no idea how she does it. I can't even play games, let alone program them."

  "I just do simple stuff, nothing complicated." I blushed because I didn't want people thinking I was a nerd. “I don’t make any money out of it or anything.”

  An old lady sitting with a napkin spread out on her lap smiled at me.

  “You must be so clever, dear. I don’t understand those computers at all. Lizzie has been trying to set me up on Facebook but it’s so confusing.”

  Lizzie smiled at her. “All the photos will be up soon and it’ll be easy for you to look at them, Nan.”

  I balanced my beer on my knee and looked around. The main reason Brownie had wanted Tex to play the festival was so he could buy a house and this was the house that he'd bought. We'd hurried through the inside to the garden so I hadn’t seen much but the garden was lovely. Lizzie looked like she'd be the sort to know about things like buying furniture and arranging it all. The opposite to me. I had no idea where to even start. She'd made the garden look amazing for the party, with lanterns hanging everywhere.

  I gulped. I'd never be the kind of person who'd do that. I was more like the kind who ordered in pizza. Well, actually, I was the exact kind who ordered in pizza, except I'd lost my appetite for that recently. The thought of that weird woman still unnerved me.