Your Hidden Symmetry

by Jean Haner

  9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  * * *

  Feb. 4–March 5 9.5.9 8.2.2 7.8.4 6.5.6 5.2.8 4.8.1 3.5.3 2.2.5 1.8.7

  March 6–April 5 9.4.1 8.1.3 7.7.5 6.4.7 5.1.9 4.7.2 3.4.4 2.1.6 1.7.8

  April 6–May 5 9.3.2 8.9.4 7.6.6 6.3.8 5.9.1 4.6.3 3.3.5 2.9.7 1.6.9

  May 6–June 5 9.2.3 8.8.5 7.5.7 6.2.9 5.8.2 4.5.4 3.2.6 2.8.8 1.5.1

  June 6–July 7 9.1.4 8.7.6 7.4.8 6.1.1 5.7.3 4.4.5 3.1.7 2.7.9 1.4.2

  July 8–Aug. 7 9.9.5 8.6.7 7.3.9 6.9.2 5.6.4 4.3.6 3.9.8 2.6.1 1.3.3

  Aug. 8–Sept. 7 9.8.6 8.5.8 7.2.1 6.8.3 5.5.5 4.2.7 3.8.9 2.5.2 1.2.4

  Sept. 8–Oct. 8 9.7.7 8.4.9 7.1.2 6.7.4 5.4.6 4.1.8 3.7.1 2.4.3 1.1.5

  Oct. 9–Nov. 7 9.6.8 8.3.1 7.9.3 6.6.5 5.3.7 4.9.9 3.6.2 2.3.4 1.9.6

  Nov. 8–Dec. 7 9.5.9 8.2.2 7.8.4 6.5.6 5.2.8 4.8.1 3.5.3 2.2.5 1.8.7

  Dec. 8–Jan. 5 9.4.1 8.1.3 7.7.5 6.4.7 5.1.9 4.7.2 3.4.4 2.1.6 1.7.8

  Jan. 6–Feb. 3 9.3.2 8.9.4 7.6.6 6.3.8 5.9.1 4.6.3 3.3.5 2.9.7 1.6.9

  CHAPTER 3

  YOUR MAIN

  PERSONALITY

  Now that you know what your three numbers are, it’s time to begin your journey into your own unique nature. In this chapter, you’ll start by exploring the meaning of your first number. In other words, if your numbers are 2.1.6, you’ll be paying attention to the section below that describes the Two personality.

  Your first number reveals your overall personality; what you tend to think about as you go through your day; what you value; your patterns of perception; and your needs in terms of lifestyle, relationships, and life in general.

  Note: The main personality of anyone who is under the age of 18 is considered to be heavily influenced by their second number as well as their first. This is because the second number reflects the emotional self, almost like the inner child. When someone is still a minor, they live as much in their child nature as their main one, so if you’re evaluating someone under 18, some of their personality may seem more like their second number than their first. To understand them at this stage, my advice is to read the description for their first number and then read the description for their second number as if it were their first. You may see aspects of that second number in who they are now, but you can know that the first number is who they’re maturing into.

  What follows are thorough descriptions of each of the first numbers.

  First Number: One

  Innovator

  Your innovative mind allows you to come up with ideas and solutions to problems in unusual ways, drawing much more from your creative nature and instinctive sense of things rather than any linear, logical way of thinking. People may often be amazed by how you got that brilliant idea, and you’ll have no way of explaining your thought process, because it really isn’t about thinking—it’s more of an inner knowing. You’re definitely intuitive; it’s almost as though you have lines of communication with other realms and can download wisdom and insights in mysterious ways.

  The image in nature for the One is water, and there’s definitely a flow to your energy. You don’t do things in straight lines, and this means you can be quite adaptable; but you are not a clock-watcher and may often run late as a result. People will need to understand this isn’t deliberate on your part!

  Inner Depth

  As part of this characteristic flow, you’ll tend to process things slowly, work out any decision over time, or make life changes gradually. Others may say you wait too long to get going, but what they don’t realize is that you’re working through everything deep inside and this takes time. However, it’s also true that you can tread water for too long and miss opportunities. It’s important to evaluate whether there’s a legitimate reason for continuing to float, or if fear is blocking you from moving forward.

  As a One, you’re like an iceberg: What others see is only the tiny tip; everything is happening under the surface. On one hand, this gives you a mysterious charm that people can find intriguing and magnetically attractive. But you may not easily show your feelings, or may keep what you’re thinking to yourself, and you can feel overwhelmed if someone is chattering on and on or speaking too quickly and pushing you to respond just as fast. You may hide what you’re uncomfortable about in a relationship rather than talk about it; and at the extreme, you can keep secrets from your partner. You won’t think of it as being secretive, though; you’re just afraid to bring up things that might upset the other person. But you can tend to choose secrecy or withholding information in situations when that’s not a good decision.

  Privacy and quiet time will be important to you, when you can sink in and just “be” for a while. You may prefer environments with mood lighting instead of a glaringly bright room; and you might love to be horizontal, lying in bed to work or stretching out in a nice warm bath at the end of the day.

  You have a deep inner willpower that gives you the strength to push through difficult times with an impressive tenacity and determination. This same strong will also translates to a healthy stubbornness, which can serve you well by giving you the ability to say no when you don’t want to do something or to move forward despite all odds. But it also creates the potential for you to become obstinate or inflexible, and sometimes people may say you’re being stubborn when you think that you’re just sticking to your guns!

  Emotional Process

  One of the most important things to understand as a One is that you feel things more deeply than others do. You’re more in touch with your emotions than most people are; it could be said that you process life emotionally. But you’re not overt about your feelings—they’re often hidden and not expressed. Tears may easily well up in your eyes, but you’re usually not one to burst into sobs in front of someone. You may worry that others could judge you as weak or overly emotional if you do show what you feel. In fact, you actually have enormous strength, and this is what allows you to have such profound emotions.

  One common experience may be that your feelings can be easily hurt. There’s a lot going on deep inside that’s not visible to others: on the outside, you can seem calm, quiet, and strong, which gives people the impression that anything they say or do will just roll right off your back. Nothing could be further from the truth, however. If someone does something hurtful, it can be like a knife in your heart. If this happens, you’ll probably clam up, fall silent as if you’ve lost your voice, and withdraw, unable to talk it out to resolve things with them. In this situation, you can too easily experience a loss of trust to one degree or another.

  These kinds of situations are often due to a mutual misunderstanding. The other person didn’t intend to hurt you, but that’s what it seemed like to you. Their behavior may have been a consequence of seeing your calm exterior and underestimating the impact of their words or actions. If you can recognize this, it can help you move past the hurt.

  The Influence of Fear

  Although your tendency to pull back from others doesn’t always serve you well, at times this behavior stems from a natural emotion that will be a frequent companion in your life: fear. Anyone whose first number is One will be familiar with this feeling, from fear of moving forward in life all the way down to a sense of cold, primal terror—fear about even surviving, financially, emotionally, or physically.

  There’s nothing wrong with fear. It’s actually a healthy impulse and necessary to evaluate the risk in any situation. But for you, it can sometimes be a paralyzing influence. The advice to “feel the fear and do it anyway” can be useful once you realize what’s keeping you stuck.

  Ones sometimes struggle with issues of abandonment, which also come from fear—the fear of being left alone. You may too easily fall into perceiving an experience as having been abandoned or ostracized, whether that’s behavior by a colleague in a staff meeting, a friend’s actions at a party, or a lover’s choices in romance. You could at times have a pattern of thinking people are leaving you out; while other times, it may just be a sense that you’re different from everyone else. Onc
e you can recognize when these feelings are coming up, you can catch yourself before you get swept away by emotions that may be based less on reality than on fear.

  What I’ve observed about human beings is that we all think everyone else is like us—or should be! If you’re a One, it’s your nature to have a lot going on under the surface and to not communicate everything that you’re thinking or feeling. Because of this, it’s likely that you believe other people usually don’t say everything that’s going on inside either. Then your creative mind takes over, and you may start to fantasize about what the other person is really thinking but not saying. This can lead you to make assumptions that aren’t at all true or even to become fearful that the other person is keeping secrets from you.

  With some Ones, this can flood their life. They may believe that others are talking about them or plotting against them, or at the extreme, become paranoid and obsessed with things like conspiracy theories. One man quit his job because he thought the company was bugging his phone. The reality was that there’d been a glitch in the telephone system as it was being repaired, and someone ended up sharing his line.

  Ancestors

  An interesting aspect of being a One has to do with what the Chinese call ancestors. Now when we hear this word in Western culture, we may think of our great-great-grandparents or our forebears emigrating from their country of origin.

  But in China, the term has a richer meaning. When an elder dies and passes on, it’s believed they become an ancestor who continues to beam blessings onto the family, offering their wisdom and strength from that point on. This is how feng shui originated: to determine where to locate Grandfather’s grave so that his blessings would be directed to your house instead of the neighbor’s by mistake!

  This energy offered from our ancestors is deep and powerful, and it’s important for all of us to tap into it as a source of profound support in life. But instead, most of us labor under the illusion that it’s up to us to tough things out and “make” everything happen in our lives. If only we knew that our ancestors stand behind us, offering infinite help for us at all times.

  In the body, the kidneys represent the essence of the ancestors. You have two kidneys, one on each side of your back; and they can be imagined as the two hands of your ancestors, supporting you and letting you lean on them. Feel their deep strength flood into your system instead of having to power through life draining your own will.

  This is important for all of us to know; but for a One, there’s an especially strong connection to your ancestors, and you need to make use of the blessings you receive from the other side. It can even be as if you’ve inherited gifts down through your family line, talents or traits that you should accept and use in order to find true happiness in life.

  If you’re a One, give some thought to any special quality you may have inherited, whether that’s Grandfather’s musical talent or an interest in chemistry like Great-Aunt Mary. If you’ve tended to look at it as just a distraction and a waste of time, you could be mistaken. You may or may not earn a living with this gift, but it’s essential that you allow the inheritance to be active in your life.

  Another way that you can understand this issue is that as a One, you can also have spiritual ancestors who have nothing to do with your bloodline or family of origin. Instead, it’s as if you have guides or wise ones on the other side from whom you can draw power and wisdom. For example, your naturally strong intuitive abilities come from your tapping into this other world. The more you allow this connection to your ancestors, the more easily you’ll move into your strength in life.

  Careers

  To determine the types of careers that align with your inner design, we need to consider the influence of both your first and third numbers, so be sure to read the description of your calling in Chapter 5 as well.

  No matter what kind of career you choose, you definitely need freedom in how you do your work, so being cooped up in an office or having to punch a time clock will smother your spirit. Jobs that let you be out “in the field” for much of the day or hours that aren’t the standard nine to five can benefit you. You may be attracted to jobs that involve adventure and some risk as well—Ones can be found working with disaster-relief organizations such as FEMA.

  Ones are often in the creative arts, especially music, but your innovative mind can also find success in finance, science, or medicine. You shouldn’t ignore your intuitive abilities either, whether you earn a living as a psychic or more subtly rely on your gut instincts in whatever you do. Careers dealing with death and dying might interest you, including end-of-life counselor, funeral director, or genealogist.

  It’s also possible that your work will involve travel or living in exotic places, or have to do with water in some way. Mystery and magic can be a part of your life; for instance, you may write mystery novels, perform magic tricks, or be drawn to follow a guru or do shamanistic work.

  First Number: Two

  Mother

  Your sweet generosity of spirit is one of your greatest strengths, and you’re exceptionally kind and thoughtful in dealing with others. Like the archetypal Mother, whose first thought is always about taking care of her family, your attention will be directed toward how you can help someone else. People may keep turning to you for support or advice because they sense your sincere and caring nature, and because they know they can depend on you.

  They’re right. You are indeed very responsible, but this sense of responsibility can sometimes turn into the weight of feeling obligated, which can be a problem. If someone asks you to do something you just don’t have time for, there’s a chance you’ll feel too guilty to say no and will do it even if it inconveniences you. It can be too easy to get caught up in a cycle of sacrificing your own needs while you take care of everyone else’s.

  It can be helpful to imagine a stereotypical mother in order to understand how Twos think and behave. Envision a mom falling into bed at midnight, exhausted after having just finished the laundry, her paperwork from the office, and making everyone’s lunches for the next day. But if the baby cries at 2 A.M., who gets up? Mother. So Twos can have boundary issues—always working and never taking time for themselves or being so other-directed in their lives that at the extreme, they can lose all sense of themselves.

  Devotion to Others

  This issue can be exacerbated by how important family, friends, and relationships are to you. If only you didn’t care so much, you could set stronger boundaries! But you’re a true-blue friend and the thought of not being there for someone seems inconceivable. You can so easily forget the importance of your own needs, but good self-care is essential in order for a Two to stay healthy physically and emotionally. If you wear yourself out, how can you continue to be there for those you love?

  Twos are the peacemakers; they’re upset by conflict and will set their needs aside, offer compromises, or try to placate everyone just to keep the peace. They’re incredibly patient and loyal, but if things go wrong, a Two can be a doormat in a relationship or stay far beyond the time anyone else would have left. Even if their partner is abusive, they may stay because they feel sorry for him or her and believe the apologies and promises to change. Or their concerns will be for the children, and they try to wait until the kids leave home before claiming their freedom.

  Twos are naturally frugal with their money and tend to build a nest egg over time, but aren’t attracted to taking financial risks in the hopes of hitting it big. If they do have substantial success with money, it’s usually because they’ve partnered up with someone else who’s more ambitious or demanding.

  One of the most important things to understand about your inner nature is your need to feel devoted to something. There’s a strong desire to be of service, whether that’s in devotion to family, career, or a cause. The theme of helping others comes up strongly here, and Twos are often driven to help in any situation, especially in providing kindness and comfort to others. Quan Yin, the Chinese goddess of compassion, is the
epitome of what a Two can become, modeling a loving presence in any situation.

  The Influence of Worry

  The emotion that’s a frequent companion for Twos is worry. Imagine Mother worrying about her family: Did her daughter do her homework? Has her son’s cold turned into bronchitis? Will her husband deal with the problem with the in-laws? Did her assistant finish that important project, and why was her boss in such a bad mood today? The thoughts go around and around in her head and there’s just no end.

  As a Two, you worry so much because you care so much, but this tendency doesn’t serve you well. As the worries repeatedly spin around in your brain, your mind becomes clogged and this keeps you from thinking clearly. So the result is that if there really is something to worry about, you’re less able to think through how to deal with the situation. One way you can cope is to keep lists, because when you write something down, then you don’t have to carry it in your head and there’s less chance of mental congestion.

  Like Mother, Twos are modest and humble; in fact, they usually believe that they’re not creative or aren’t very capable of coming up with original ideas. Instead, they feel unsure of themselves (again, the influence of worry), can be dependent on others, and may end up supporting someone else’s success while they cheer from the sidelines.

  However, there’s one important factor here. If you’re a Two, it’s said that for the first half of your life, you succeed by supporting others. But in the middle of your life, a shift happens and you have the opportunity to step into your power, to surpass everyone you ever supported. Louise Hay, a Two, is a shining example of this achievement, as she first emerged as a great teacher in her early 50s and founded Hay House as she turned 60.

  Home, Family, and Friends

  For Mother, home is the most important place, and her favorite activity is to feed her family. You may feel most joyful when everyone you love is gathered at home to celebrate holiday meals together. You can be sentimental, with photos of family and friends placed throughout the house, and you tend to cherish every gift anyone has ever given you. This can sometimes cause a problem with clutter!