A Love Shared

by Chrissie Loveday

  “I’m at a loss. I am fond of you but there is too much baggage between us. We’ve proved that working together is far from easy. And there’s your mother. She doesn’t approve of me.” She simply dared not admit she had, at times, been having similar thoughts to his.

  “Forget about her. She’ll never approve of anyone I choose, unless she thinks she made the choice first. She’s a control freak as well as a snob. I will never allow her to dictate to me what I do with my life. But, we’ll have to keep quiet about things at work. It wouldn’t do either of us any favours.”

  “It wouldn’t happen. Look at the gossip that ensued when you were giving me lifts into work. They were all madly speculating about us. Then when Major came to be stabled here, it all started over again. I’m sorry Alex. Much as I’d like us to be more than friends, it can’t happen. Not while you’re my boss and I’m just a junior partner.”

  A stricken look came into his eyes and his jaw tightened. The happy smile that had been lighting up his face had left it. She felt terrible. It was as if she had snatched a favourite toy from a small child. “But, let’s celebrate Moonlight’s news,” she suggested, lifting the champagne glass again. Half heartedly, he raised his own glass, all his joy of the occasion now departed.

  “It means I won’t be able to ride her for much longer,” he said flatly. “I’d thought of getting another horse, maybe on loan for a few months. So, shall we have a bit of a ride this morning?” He tried to force a smile on to his face.

  “I don’t know what to say now. I really want Major back at home. I shall soon be able to ride in the evenings now it’s getting dark so much later. And I’m going for a cross country ride tomorrow with some old friends. We’re meeting in my village so I don’t want to give Major too far to go in one ride.”

  “If you insist. But we’ll ride back with you. I doubt that will be too much for Moonlight at this stage. But she’s going to be very distressed to be on her own again. Especially in her present state.”

  “Lets see how it goes.”

  Major was pleased to see his old, familiar paddock and when he was unsaddled, he galloped round, familiarising himself with his old haunts. Alex and Moonlight left them and she could hear the mare whinnying as she left her companion behind. Major went over to the fence and whinnied in response. Sarah petted him and whispered her apologies to him.

  “Sorry boy,” she said softly. ‘But you’ll soon be used to be being back here again. I’ll see you each morning again and we’ll go for some rides in the evenings.” But she could have sworn the horse had an anxious look in his eyes. He was watching the road to see if his friend was coming back.

  Most of the rest of the day was spent doing her chores. She did her washing and cleaned the cottage. Whatever she was doing, she couldn’t get the thought of what Alex had said out of her mind. He was falling in love with her.

  He and his family were out of her reach.

  It was a pleasant outing the next day with her old friends. “Such a beautiful time of year,” Sarah said dreamily.

  “So what’s happening with the new owner of Darnley?” asked one of the girls. “We heard he was stabling your horse.”

  “Nothing really. We work together. He offered to stable Major while my arm was broken. He’s back home in his own paddock now.”

  “But you’ve been seeing much more of him than just at your office. One of the workers up there said you were always around choosing paint and stuff. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing. I was helping him modernise the place.”

  “Pardon me if I don’t believe you. You’ve been building a nest for yourself. How about letting me rent your cottage when you move into the Manor? I could never afford to buy anything around here.”

  “You’d better keep looking, Angela. I’m definitely not moving into Darnley Manor. Alex Weston and I have no plans. None at all.”

  If she said it often enough, she might one day believe it.

  “AM I YOUR OFFICIAL ESCORT?”

  Life at Milligan, Jones and Partners had become extremely difficult for Sarah. She tried her utmost to improve her timekeeping and client billing, if only so that she was not faced with another horrid interview with Alex. He had also been avoiding her all week.

  If either of them had met in the corridor, they nodded politely and stepped aside. It was tense and unpleasant. Sarah was relieved to be going to see her parents by the time the weekend arrived. Poppy saw her as she was leaving on Friday evening.

  “So, there’s trouble in paradise I gather,” she suggested cheekily.

  “Don’t know what you mean,” came Sarah’s cool reply.

  “Come on. You and Prince Not-So-Charming have been going round avoiding each other and looking grim the whole week.”

  “Prince Not-So-Charming?”

  “Alex. Our potential new lord and master. He’s even sounded off at the highly esteemed Julia on a couple of occasions. Something or someone is rattling his cage. The office grapevine insists that there’s some rift between their favourite family law specialist and him.”

  “Then the office grapevine is wrong on all counts. There was never anything between us for a rift to have developed. He merely helped me out when my arm was broken and kindly stabled my horse.”

  “And all the shopping expeditions together? Looking round antique shops. Choosing paint. Nothing gets past us, you know.”

  “Then it’s time you found something better to do with your lives. Have a good weekend. I’m going home to see my parents. On my own.” She swung out of the office and got angrily into her car. If Alex ever heard any of that, he would understand precisely why it could never work between them.

  She went home to change and then across to see Major. She took a couple of apples for him and called him over. He was standing at the corner of his field, staring down the lane where he had last seen Moonlight departing. She called him. He turned his head but resumed his gaze down the lane.

  “Hey boy, what is it?” Sarah asked as she crossed over to him. “Are you missing your lady friend?” She held out the apple, usually his favourite treat. He nibbled at it, almost as a gesture of ‘thanks, but no thanks’ and let the rest of it fall to the ground. “Oh dear, you have got it bad haven’t you?”

  She looked at the sky. Stormy clouds were gathering over the distant sea. “I think I’d better put you inside the stable before the rain comes. It’s still cold at night, isn’t it?” She slipped his head collar on and led him inside. He was not a happy horse at all.

  She continued to chat to him and he nuzzled her, as if asking why everything had changed again. “I’m sorry, but it was only ever a temporary arrangement. One day we shall see Moonlight again.” He lifted his head as if he understood and gave a small whinny.

  She patted him and feeling even more troubled, shut the door and went back home. Why had Alex come into her life and caused all this upset? She was even finding her time spent at home rather lonely. Before he had arrived, she had been quite content to entertain herself and rarely ever felt bored. She’d been happy to go to the local pub for supper occasionally, knowing she would meet friends there for companionship. Snap out of it, she ordered herself.

  She changed out of her horse clothes and put on clean jeans and shirt and set off down the road to the village. She had nothing special planned for supper so she would eat out and hope to meet someone to talk to. She needed cheering up.

  The pub was virtually empty when she arrived. So much for finding someone to talk to.

  “Where is everyone?” she asked. “You’re usually busy on a Friday night.”

  “They’ve got a quiz night on in the next village. Bit of a competition going on between the two of us. They were all here last week. Packed out we were. Now, what can I get you? We’ve got some lovely freshly home-made pies.”

  “Sounds good to me. I might have a beer to go with it for a change.”

  “Make that two,” said a voice from the doorway. Sarah swung round.


  “What on earth are you doing here, Alex?”

  “I saw the lights were off at the cottage. I saw the car still parked outside so guessed you must have walked somewhere and wondered if you were here.”

  “Quite the detective, aren’t you?”

  “Do you mind if I join you?”

  “I’m not really sure. Depends what you want to talk about.”

  “Anything. Nothing. Horses. How’s Major?”

  “I’m a bit worried about him. He seems to be fretting.”

  “Missing Moonlight do you think? I must say, she’s not herself. I think she’s missing him. What should we do about it?”

  “I don’t know. It certainly isn’t a good idea for us to live in each other’s pockets as we have been doing. Did you know that they’re even talking about us around here? I had such a job on Sunday to dispel the rumours. Evidently we’ve been seen shopping together and speculation is running rife. I was even asked if I’d let my cottage to one of them when I move in with you. However much you want to be discreet, it’s hopeless in an area with such a closed shop attitude.”

  “So, either we see nothing of each other and let our horses both die of broken hearts or bite the bullet and you and I seriously become an item, as they say these days.”

  “I’m flattered Alex, truly I am. But I know I’m not ready to settle down, especially not with someone I have to work with. I’m sorry, but this has to be the last time we share a meal. When you’ve seen as many divorce cases and family break-downs as I have, you’d understand why I’m too scared to get any closer.

  “As for the horses, they’ll get over it once they settle back into their routine. It’s ridiculous to suggest they might die if they don’t see each other. Horses don’t have broken hearts.”

  They were spared further conversation as the meal arrived.

  “That looks marvellous, thank you,” Alex remarked to the waitress. “I’m starving. Didn’t get round to lunch today. Not even a sandwich.”

  “And you haven’t been home yet either.”

  “How do you know that? Oh, the business suit, I suppose.” She nodded. “This is wonderful food. Shame if it really is the last time we shall share a meal.”

  “Alex,” Sarah said with a warning note. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re a lovely man. Some of the time,” she added. “But we can’t fall in love. Believe me. We simply can’t. Just because we share a love of horses doesn’t mean we can share anything more.”

  “There’s rock music too. We both like that. And I love what you’ve done to my house. And I did watch a soppy film with you.” It was hard to believe this was the same man who had given her such a hard time at work.

  “All right. We do have some things in common. But you’re embarrassing me. I’ll never see eye to eye with you about work.” She held up her hand. “No, I’m not going to talk about work, but that proves there’s a huge gulf between us. I care too much about people to be sufficiently businesslike for you and I see it as a great divide we will never get over.”

  He gave a shrug. “I won’t mention it again. I trust you’ll allow me to pay for the meal?”

  “Well, thanks. If you like. I’m happy to go halves.”

  He rose and went to pay the landlord. She got up and pulled on her jacket. “Thank you,” she said as he came back to the table.

  “Can I drop you back home?”

  “I don’t mind walking.” They went outside and saw it was pouring with rain. “Actually, I’ll change my mind. I came out without a coat. A lift would be great.”

  “Thought you might. Any plans for the weekend?”

  “I hope to ride in the morning and then I’m going to see my parents. My sister and family are coming over on Sunday.”

  “Sounds nice,” he said almost wistfully. “I think I’ll get some work done. And I need to make a start on organising the bedrooms. They’ve nearly finished the major building work. The heating’s all done round the house too. Lovely and warm now and the damp is disappearing fast. Right. Here we are. Have a nice weekend.”

  “You too. Thanks for supper and the lift.”

  “Night, Sarah.”

  He drove away, his heart sad with failure. He cursed himself for rushing her. He was such a loser where women were concerned. He wasn’t that bad looking. But still he failed to attract the woman he truly wanted. If anything, it was worse since he had inherited his uncle’s fortune. His mother had convinced him that every woman who showed an interest in him was simply after his money.

  Not very flattering for a mother to think that, he thought, but perhaps she was right. He had to face it, at almost thirty-five, he needed to settle down. He had put so much time and effort into his career and now into making Darnley Manor a beautiful place to live, he hadn’t even thought of meeting anyone other than Sarah.

  Perhaps that was the problem. He was falling in love with her because she really was the only person he had met recently. Apart from Maddy Harper. But goodness, the most she ever talked about was the animals and what he’d like for supper. Hardly marriage material.

  “At least you two give me a warm welcome,” he said to his pups as he let them out. “All wagging tails and happiness, aren’t you? Come on then. Let’s go and see if Moonlight’s safely tucked in.”

  Sarah spent a restless night tossing and turning. The sad look on Alex’s face haunted her. He was certainly a catch, she told herself. What was holding her back? She forced herself to think about his uncompromising attitude to her work. Anyone who could be so uncompromising was not for her.

  It was much too wet to go riding the next morning. She let Major out into the paddock for a good run and then shut him in his stable in the early afternoon. She left him plenty of fresh hay and filled the large trough with water. She would be back in plenty of time the next day, to feed him and muck out the stable.

  If the weather was more reliable, she’d risk leaving him out but, in his present mood he’d probably stand out in the rain, gazing lovelorn down the lane and then catch a chill from being soaked through.

  “Bye Major. See you tomorrow.” She patted him and left the top of the door open just a little way.

  Her parents greeted her as warmly as ever. Her mother stood back and looked at her after her first hug.

  “You’re looking pale. Doesn’t she look pale, Jack?” Her father nodded, winking at Sarah as he did so. It was a standing joke. Her mother always needed Jack to confirm that she was right about whatever it was concerning their children.

  “You always say that. I’ve had a busy week and I’m just a bit tired. Looking forward to being spoiled this weekend. Are Beth and the tribe coming over tomorrow?”

  “They’ll be here for lunch at twelve. I expect you’ll want to get back to that horse of yours before it gets dark.”

  “Yes, of course. I’ve had to leave him in the stable. It was so wet when I left. I didn’t want him to stand out and get a chill.”

  “How’s work really been?” her mother asked. “You said it was hectic. Why’s that, especially? What happened to the chap who was stabling the horse?”

  “Leave the poor girl alone,” her father intervened. “Questions, questions. It’s like the Spanish inquisition when you get going.”

  “I’m just interested to know what’s going on in our daughter’s life.”

  “Why don’t you make us some tea? And I know you made one of your chocolate cakes. Let’s have a slice to go with the cuppa.”

  “That’s for tomorrow. We don’t want to spoil our dinner tonight, do we?”

  The banter went on between her parents and she sat back, listening with some pleasure. Nothing had changed in all their lives and she found it very comforting. Her mother went to make tea and she spoke to her father.

  “Does Mum chat away like this when there’s just the two of you?”

  “Usually.”

  “So, how do you cope?”

  “I’ve learned to say yes and no in the right order. I occasionally get it wrong
and she realises I was never actually listening. But you know, it’s a part of your mother and our relationship. I love her dearly, of course but I can’t listen to everything she says.”

  “How did you know she was the right one?”

  “I just did. She was the only one for me from the moment we met.”

  “And you for her, I suppose?”

  “Well no. She was involved with some engineer from somewhere near Exeter. I had to be patient for quite a few months until I won the battle. Sheer persistence and dogged determination.”

  Sarah stared at him. It was difficult to imagine her father as a young determined man, chasing her mother. He smiled and indicated her to keep quiet as her mother came back into the room.

  “I relented and cut you a slice of chocolate cake. By the time they’ve eaten a large Sunday lunch, they won’t all demand big slices of cake. It won’t spoil your meal, will it?”

  “Course not. I’m starving. It’s so good to be home,” Sarah said as she bit off a large mouthful of her mother’s most special of all comfort foods. Alex could get lost.

  After a large meal and with her mind taken off her worries, Sarah slept peacefully. Her mother woke her at ten o’clock the next morning.

  “I can’t believe I slept so late. You should have woken me.”

  “There’s a coffee for you. And I’ve brought you some breakfast. Just toast and cereal as it’s late.”

  “Wonderful. You’re spoiling me and I’m loving it.”

  “You should come up more often. I keep saying to your father, we don’t see nearly enough of you. Now eat up before it gets too cold.”

  The subject of her impending birthday had not been mentioned the previous day. They must be waiting for Beth to make the attack. It was pointless resisting their plans. If she did, they would only plan some dreadful surprise party and she would be expected to be surprised. If she agreed to something, at least she might have a little say in the matter.