“Technically, all I did was raise my hands at her and yell ‘Can I help you?’” He gestured with his hands as he had done before. “All she did was grunt and go back to her petunias, or whatever is in her flower gardens. But I did feel extremely angry at the same time.”
“I don’t blame you, Skyler. You’ve been through a lot. Anger is a normal emotion, and if you are dealing with it constructively and responsibly, I don’t see a problem. It’s when we lash out or act on our anger in negative or hurtful ways that we can get into trouble. If you are respectful and polite toward the neighbors, you’re good with us. Even if they can’t reciprocate our positive behavior, that is not an excuse for you to lower your standards.”
Liara, you are so smart. And such a mom! I love it when you are a mom to me.
“In reality, you will always have someone to disagree with in life, Skyler. One day we might disagree with you, but that doesn’t mean we will stop loving you. I know that isn’t what happened with Rebecca, but this is your new home now. It’s important to understand that. Besides, you’re in a safe place, and I think you’re starting to see that for yourself.”
“Yeah, I was just talking to CK about that.”
“We want you to be happy. So please, if Kalin makes your heart flutter, and if you want, he can be your boyfriend, okay?”
Skyler blushed.
Liara smiled, “But I’m not pushing you into it.”
“I am,” CK said, smiling.
“Yeah, me too,” Cody added.
Liara rolled her eyes at the boys. “I’m sure you two are, along with Tracy. Just let him breathe!”
Skyler came to CK’s defense. “Well, he wouldn’t be my brother if he didn’t annoy me sometimes.”
CK’s mouth dropped open with faux-shock and Liara burst out laughing. Skyler wiggled his glass at CK and raised it in a mock-toast before enjoying a swig of lemonade.
18 | Sometimes You are so Obtuse
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” TRACY asked. She smacked Skyler’s shoulder in mock disgust. The sound of running shoes pounding the asphalt pavement resounded through the quiet suburban street as the early morning sun shone brightly between the trees and houses. The air was still cool and it offered comfort to them as they ran past a young man walking a happy white dog with a black spot on his back. Skyler had seen him with the dog most mornings, and each morning the excited dog wanted to run with them.
Tracy and her family had been out of town on vacation for the past two weeks, so she and Skyler were catching up on all the excitement with Kalin. Although they had texted a bit back and forth, she texted Skyler the previous night and demanded an update during their morning run. He had just finished regaling her with the tale of his kayaking adventure with Kalin. She was now caught up to the moment when the Plant Lady spooked him.
“What was I supposed to do?” Skyler asked, laughing at the ridiculousness of his story. “She freaked me out!”
“You were supposed to kiss him, that’s what,” Tracy said. Skyler appreciated her ever-present enthusiasm. She relentlessly encouraged him, like CK, Liara, and Dale did, but it was different to him for some reason. She was a friend, someone he chose to hang out with, someone he felt a connection with who wasn’t responsible for him in any official manner. She truly invested her time, unending wisdom, unbridled opinions, infectious positivity, and kindness into Skyler. It was the right choice, it turned out—to befriend her, but it was her choice to invest in him. She had become one of his closest and most special friends.
Skyler chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Everyone’s told me that. Believe me, that’s what I wanted to do.”
“Wait, do you know about the Plant Lady’s story?”
“No?”
“Huh? What? They didn’t tell you?” Tracy’s face lit up and her eyes widened. “Well, let me tell you!” Skyler could tell something good was coming. Tracy wasn’t usually a gossip, but when she had something juicy to tell, it was always worth listening to.
“Oh my gosh, picture this. Ingrid didn’t live on this side of town until about a year or so ago. She smoked daily, apparently, and was like, the ridiculous-amounts-of-cigarettes-daily kind of smoker. I mean, she’s already, like nine hundred years old, and should have been dead decades ago from all the ciggies, but she survived somehow.”
“Okay.” A squirrel darted across the road in front of them and climbed up the side of an oak tree on the right side of the road.
“She got really sick during the winter. She ended up in the hospital for several weeks and couldn’t recover. Basically, she was in a coma, or an almost coma. I’m not really sure which.”
“Wow.” Skyler wiped the sweat from his forehead, and he could feel the sweat rolling down his shirtless torso and dripping off his elbows. The morning air began to heat up as the sun climbed higher in the sky.
“Yeah. So, she almost dies. Dies, Skyler. She laid on death’s doorstep for several weeks and her family sold everything—the house, the car, the property, all her stuff. Clothes, furniture, trinkets, you name it, it was either gone or sold. Imagine that, you’re nearly dead, and your family sells everything. They sell everything, Skyler, and you aren’t even dead yet.”
“But she was nearly dead, you said—nine hundred years old nearly dead—I’m guessing they expected her to die? Like the doctors did, too?”
“Yes, exactly. She was supposed to die.”
“But she’s always out in her garden now.”
“Yup. One year later, still alive and kicking.”
“Wait, you mean…” Holy shit. “She’s a vampire or something?”
“Yes, I do.” Tracy gestured widely with her hands over her head as she spoke. “Wait, no. She’s not a vampire. I’m being serious! She had a complete recovery!”
“Damn!” Skyler said, staring at Tracy with wide eyes and a huge smile.
“Can you imagine that?” Tracy’s voice inflected up as her excitement pushed through her words. “She woke up from the coma thingy only to discover that she had nothing. Nothing!”
“She must not have been very happy.”
“She was rip-shit, Skyler. Rip-shit! At least, that’s how the story goes. So afterward, her family had to turn over all the money they got from selling her stuff and she bought the house across from yours. She’s basically retired and enjoys life in her gardens whenever she can.”
“Does she still smoke?”
“No, I don’t think so. At least, I haven’t seen her smoke. Apparently, her body went through withdrawal when she was comatose. She doesn’t remember a minute of it. One day she smoked a ton of ciggies, then suddenly, after her comatose episode or whatever you call it, she didn’t. She says she didn’t even miss them. Lucky for her.”
“No kidding. Does she get along with her family now?”
“She does now. I guess it was a bit strained for the first few months, but can you blame her?”
“Nope.” Skyler’s running app chimed and encouraged them to pick up their pace.
“I hate that thing,” Tracy blurted out as they ran faster. “What happened next?”
“What?”
“With Kalin. What happened after you fumbled your first kiss?”
“Ouch,” Skyler said.
“I’m teasing, sorry.”
“Fine. Well, he left. Then I went inside and cleaned up. I went shopping with Dale that night and we talked a little about it. CK and Liara were off doing…I don’t remember what they were doing. The next day I told CK, Cody, and Liara. I was stunned by how supportive they all were. One day I’ll fully accept it, I’m sure. It’s weird still, you know?”
“Mmmmm. No, but continue. What happened next?”
“Liara and Dale had a date that night so CK and I played video games together. Then I think we went swimming and then crashed.”
“You didn’t call him?”
“I’m getting to that part. I texted him when I crawled into bed.”
* * *
Skyler looked over at his al
arm clock as he sat on his bed. It was 10:00 p.m.
Why isn’t he texting me?
He laid back on his bed wearing only the gym shorts he had changed into after his afternoon with Kalin. He started tossing his phone up into the air above him, catching it before it fell on his chest. He stalled for time and secretly hoped Kalin would text him first. Since it was getting late and he was planning on a long bike ride the next morning, Skyler decided to text him a message: Sorry about today. I’m damaged goods. Understand if you don’t want to see me again.
He furled his eyebrow and hit the backspace key and tried again: Sorry about today. I’m damaged goods. Need time, but I can wait if you can.
Nope, that’s not right either. Ugh. He tapped the backspace key and tried a third time: Sorry about today. I’m damaged goods. Need time, but I want to see you again. If that’s cool.
I hope it’s cool. His thumb hovered over the send button. Just do it. He pressed send. I hope I don’t come across as desperate.
The phone signaled the message had been sent. He tossed the phone next to him and wrapped his hands behind his head, interlacing his fingers. Tomorrow I need to get to the ledge. I need some time to think.
His phone beeped. He rolled onto his side and picked up his phone. He checked the message: Hey handsome! No, you’re not damaged goods. I don’t care. Yes, of course I want to see you again. Call you tomorrow? Still with family.
Skyler’s heart raced with excitement. He really does like me. Holy shit. And he wants to see me again, even after I thought I screwed it up today!
Skyler jumped off his bed and ran over to their shared bathroom. He saw light shining under the door on CK’s side. Good, you’re still awake.
He knocked before opening it and peeking in.
“Um, geez, hey, I uh, what’s up?” CK said. He half-turned awkwardly in his desk chair to look at him.
“CK, I didn’t mess it up. Kalin still wants to see me!” Skyler said.
“Told ya so.”
“I know, but, I wanted to tell you that you were right! I’m shocked.”
“Yay. I’m happy for you.”
“Are you okay?” Skyler asked. He suddenly sensed something was off with CK at the moment.
“Yes, Skyler. I’m in the middle of, you know, rubbing one out, so if you don’t mind, shut the door behind you.”
“Oh!” Skyler started laughing, his eyes catching movement on the computer screen in front of CK. “Sorry, I’m out. Have fun. G’night.”
“Thanks, bye.”
Skyler closed the bathroom door behind him and giggled. Then he ran over to his bed and jumped on it. He reached for his phone and started texting Kalin back.
* * *
“Eew, you walked in on him…doing that?” Tracy asked.
“Yeah but I probably shouldn’t have told you that. It’s kind of personal.”
“What, that every guy does it? Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.”
Skyler felt himself blush. He rolled his eyes and chuckled nervously. “Just because every guy does it doesn’t mean a guy wants anyone to know about it.”
“Bah, it’s healthy.” She pointed in front of them and said, “Let’s turn left here.”
“Okay.” They jogged up to the intersection and turned left on to one of the windy farm roads. On their right, a row of tall evergreen trees lined the side of the road before opening up to an apple orchard.
“When did you see him next?”
“Not the next day, but the day after. He came over for a swim like we did a few weeks ago. CK was there with us. Cody and Daren came over as well. So, it wasn’t romantic…at all.”
“Ooh, how was Daren? I’m surprised you guys were hanging out after the locker room stunt.”
“He was hanging out with Cody that day I guess. But he was nice compared to how he acted in the locker room. Why?”
“He’s such an asshole. He wasn’t mean to you?”
“He didn’t say anything stupid. Besides, if he did, I think Cody would have smacked him for me.”
“Very true. I think he respects Cody, or he’s terrified of him. I mean come on, Cody is like three feet taller than anybody, and built like a tank. Speaking of, do we like Cody?”
Skyler could tell by the curious tone of Tracy’s voice that she was digging for information. He chuckled. “Yeah, I like him, but not in that way. I mean, great eye candy, but…he’s not my type.”
“Definitely a hottie. Well, that’s good, I suppose that will make it easier for you, him being CK’s best friend and all. I mean, really, nobody likes a love triangle, right?”
“I’ve got enough drama in my life, so yeah, no problems there. Besides, we all know Tommy has the biggest crush on Cody.”
“Ah yes. The boy will sadly learn the definition of unrequited love.”
“It happens, I guess,” Skyler said, trying not to sound cold or unfeeling. “So, Cody. What’s his deal, anyway? Why is Cody so gay-friendly? Gay-fierce even? Like, nothing fazes him about me or Tommy being gay. Heck, he even kissed me!”
Tracy giggled. “Ha! Gay-fierce. I’m totally stealing that one.”
“Yeah, like the way he got in Annika’s face at the pool party, and the way he gets upset when he hears about someone getting gay-bashed.”
“He didn’t tell you? It’s because of Dominic, his older brother. He’s gay.”
“Really?” That explains a lot.
“Yes, really. Did you think you were the only one?”
Skyler laughed. “No, of course not. I’m surprised by it, that’s all. There are more gay people here than my previous situation.”
“They were there, too, only you didn’t know it.”
“Right, we were all in the closet.” I know exactly what you mean. I do not want to go back into the closet. It feels so good to be out and owning my truth, even if it’s just a little right now.
“Cody is also part of Temple Pride. That’s the GSA at our school.”
“What’s a GSA?”
“Really? The Gay-Straight Alliance. Or LGBTQA-Alliance, whatever you want to call it. Didn’t you have one at your previous school?”
“Uh, no. I went to a Christian academy. They don’t have room for us sinners there.”
Tracy scoffed. “Right, I forgot, only the angelic people can go to school there. Oh, duh, sorry, you meant the whole anti-gay problem back then.”
“Exactly.”
Tracy shot Skyler a concerned look. “You being gay wasn’t the problem. Their shitty attitudes and closed-mindedness were the problems.”
Skyler loved Tracy’s brutal honesty, even if it was utterly tactless at times because he knew she didn’t mean it maliciously. “Wait, the Gay-Straight Alliance, wasn’t that the booth you told me we’d talk about at the Fourth of July fireworks?”
“One and the same. Anyway, you should think about joining the GSA. Actually, you need to join it, period. Yeah, that will be perfect.”
Skyler laughed. “You are a special creature, Tracy Whitcomb. Do you go to the GSA?”
“Duh, of course. Straight ally, here!” She bumped her fist against her chest twice and extended it out in front of her, making the peace symbol with her fingers.
“Is that the secret handshake?”
The two fingers turned into an open hand that back-handed him gently across the shoulder. “Don’t be silly,” she said.
“Ouch, just kidding.”
“Obviously, but you should come. It shouldn’t even be a question in your mind.”
The apple orchards turned into half-grown corn fields and the road they ran turned to the right. Around them, unseen cicadas chirped as other bugs flew over the fields. Skyler thought about mentioning that he was outed by accident at the barbecue by Annika, but he decided his conversations with Kalin, CK, and Cody were enough. It’s time to put that fear to bed. Besides, it’s not even an issue with her. And you know what she’ll say…
“Why exactly do I need to join this group? I think I’m gonna be
okay being an out teen.”
“Because, silly, being out is one thing. Being an out-and-proudie is a completely different thing.”
“An out-and-proudie?”
“It’s one of my terms of endearment. But more importantly than that, arguably, of course, is your need for support. To know you are not alone in the world. And I suppose you are figuring that out…so you need a solid support group to grow as a gay teen, to help you be the out teen you want to be but aren’t yet.”
“I do?” Skyler didn’t sound convinced. I guess so, but…
“Yes, you do. What’s the name of that movie you love? The one with the gay kid and the super Christian mom who came around at the end?”
“Uh, Prayers for Bobby?”
“Yes, that’s the one. The end scene, you know, when the mom shows up and asks, ‘Oh Jacky, is this everyone?’”
“Yeah…” Damn you have a good memory.
“And Jacky is all, ‘Oh, honey no, come with me!’”
“Right…” You memorized the lines?
“Where do you think she goes? First of all she had already joined a support group—PFLAG—and then she, and her family, joined the bigger group?”
“You mean marching in the pride parade?” Where are you going with this?
“Exactly! A giant community of support. We may not have a local pride parade, but we have a GSA to support you, which is better, I think, because you’ve got access to it year-round, not only one weekend. Not that a weekend party wouldn’t be fun, right?”
“For sure. Okay. I think I get it, but, you really think I should go? This is a lot to process.”
“Yes, I do. Do you think Bobby would have killed himself if he had access to a gay-straight alliance? A group of friends that could have supported him despite his crazy mother?”
“Maybe? I mean I dunno, it’s a movie. I’m not going to kill myself.”
“Skyler Phoenix sometimes you are so obtuse!” Tracy said, exasperated. “First of all, it’s not just a movie, it’s a true story—which is probably why it means so much to you. Why did you ask me to watch the movie if it didn’t mean anything to you? I would have rather watched all the Star Wars movies if it meant nothing to you! Wait, I take that back. I’ll take Bobby over the Skywalker soap opera any day.”
The Climb Page 29