Exploration

by Quinn Ward

  “You had enough?” I ground out as I drilled his hole.

  “Never. Never enough with you,” he panted. Frankie’s entire body seized moments later, head tossed back as cum spurted across his stomach. As much as I wanted to come inside of him, I knew there was one thing I wanted even more. Something I’d fantasized about but hadn’t done until this point.

  I pulled out and stripped off the condom, tossing it to the floor. He watched as I gave myself a few final tugs, fascinated as I blew my load over his torso. I thought the moment couldn’t be any better, but Frankie turned it up a notch when he dragged his fingers through our combined release, smearing cum over his bare chest. If I was capable, I’d have blown again when he then brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them clean.

  “Now that’s the way every day should start.” His words were slurred, eyes already closed. It would’ve been so easy to fall back to sleep with him in my arms, but we had places to be.

  “Come on, I think both of us need another shower,” I told him. He grunted his disapproval at my suggestion before swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

  “Together?”

  “No, brat,” I swatted his ass as we both dug out clothes for the day. “I know better than to fall for that again.”

  “Too old for round two so soon?” he teased. There was still an almost visible weight he was dragging around, but at least he was getting back a bit of his snark. That was almost worth calling to cancel the lunch his Mama had insisted we attend today.

  I threw him down on the bed and ground against him. “Better watch your mouth, brat, because your ass is going to be cashing all those checks later tonight.” Frankie visibly shuddered. I bent down to give him one final kiss, hard and fast without any tongue because I knew that’d drive him nuts. When I stood, he stared up at me, dumbfounded, cock hard again. “And don’t even think about rubbing one out in the shower.”

  “You suck,” he complained.

  “That’s only one of the reasons you love me,” I tossed out over my shoulder as I closed the bathroom door and locked it so he couldn’t follow me.

  I rubbed my hands over my pants as I followed Frankie up the walk to his childhood home. It’d been so long since I’d had to do the whole meet the parents thing, but this time there was the added anxiety of being the first boyfriend Frankie brought home to his mother who was doing her best to accept that she had a gay son. Who was dating an older man. And happened to love being dominated. Logically, I knew she wouldn’t know that last part, but I couldn’t convince myself she wouldn’t somehow figure out that aspect of our relationship and decide I was taking advantage of her baby boy.

  The door opened before our feet hit the steps and a small, older woman walked out, assessing me with eyes nearly identical to Frankie’s. She drew her son down for a hug, narrowing her gaze slightly as she released him. “And you’re Calvin. It’s nice to have you here. Please, come in.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.” She tsked at my proffered hand and pulled me in for a much shorter, less personal hug. It stunned me, which drew a laugh out of Frankie.

  “Better get used to it,” he whispered as we followed her into the house. “That means you’re okay in her book. If she likes you, she hugs you. Just wait until she gets to know you and you’re trying to wipe lipstick stains off your cheeks every time we leave.”

  “Sounds good to me.” No, I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to dark lipstick smeared on my face, but I’d take it if that meant she trusted that I wouldn’t break her son’s heart. First, I had to make her see that we weren’t an abomination, then I could work on proving to her that I would always value and protect Frankie’s happiness. I reached out for Frankie’s hand, withdrawing when I remembered him recounting his mama’s issues with public displays of affection.

  Frankie shocked me by stepping closer, shoving his hand in my back pocket. His mama glanced over her shoulder, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly. Either she’d eased her stance or Frankie had exaggerated how uncomfortable she was. “You two go to the family room. I need to check on lunch.”

  We’d barely settled on the couch when the squeal of a little girl echoed through the hall. “Uncle Frankie! Why you here and not at work? Did you have a good vacation? Did you bring me a treat? Can we watch cartoons now? Who’s that?”

  Her rapid-fire string of questions only seemed to end when she ran out of breath. She jumped into Frankie’s lap and strangled him with her small arms. He held her tight and kissed her cheek. When he looked up at me, I could see the fear in his eyes. All week, he’d constructed this lie so his mama wouldn’t worry about him, but now a toddler threatened to unravel it all. Luckily, I was more experienced in the art of distraction, so I jumped in to save him.

  “I’m Calvin,” I told her, answering the easiest of her questions. “I live with your Uncle Frankie.”

  Her brow furrowed in confusion. “Like Uncle Tony and Uncle Enzo?”

  “Sort of, sweetheart,” I responded, chuckling at the innocence of youth.

  “But you’re not brothers,” she pointed out. “If you were, then you’d be an Uncle too, but you’re not.”

  “No, we’re not brothers,” I confirmed.

  “Then why you live together?” She held her uncle a bit tighter, as though she didn’t trust me and was trying to protect him.

  “Sophia, quit bothering them,” Mama scolded, causing the little girl to frown. She looked up at me with sad brown eyes, and I knew I was sunk. This girl was even better at pulling heart strings than Ryan had been at her age.

  “She’s fine, ma’am. I think she missed Frankie and she’s trying to figure out who I am to Frankie,” I told her. “So far, we’ve established that we’re not brothers because I’m not her uncle.”

  “Oh, I see.” She crossed the room and took Sophia out of Frankie’s arms. I tensed, automatically assuming the worst: that she didn’t want her granddaughter exposed to the big gay couple in the room. She sat in an old rocking chair across the room and Sophia settled into her lap. “Honey, Calvin and your Uncle Frankie are friends.”

  “Like me and Gabbie are friends? Does that mean I can live with Gabbie? Her house is quiet, not loud like my house.” Frankie’s fingers tightened around my hand with the little girl’s sad admission.

  “No honey, they’re not quite friends like you and Gabbie.” She looked over to us and Frankie nodded. As he waited to hear what his mother would say next, he leaned closer to me. I took that for a silent plea to support him and draped an arm over his shoulder. Pieces seemed to fall into place for Sophia, whose eyes went wide. “Calvin is your Uncle Frankie’s boyfriend. That means he might not be your uncle like your daddy’s brothers, but he sort of is because he loves your Uncle Frankie very much.”

  “But they’re both boys!” she exclaimed. “My mommy says boys kissing is yucky.”

  Frankie let out a snort of disgust. I swallowed hard, because my first reaction was to tell the little girl her mother was full of shit and that type of bullshit statement was the reason I’d hidden for so many years. I did neither, not wanting to upset anyone on my first visit to the Marino home.

  “Well, your mommy has said a lot of things.” She looked directly at us as she continued. “One thing you’ll learn as you get older is it does no good to judge people based on what someone else has told you. When you do that, you can accidentally hurt the people you love the most. It’s true that there are some people who don’t like seeing two men or two women kissing or anything else. There was a time when I felt that way, too.”

  “You did?” Sophia asked. I wondered if this was all too much for someone her age to process, but decided that Mrs. Marino knew her family best and wouldn’t do anything to hurt them.

  “I did, but then I got to watch your Uncle Frankie falling in love,” she answered quietly, her gaze stilled fixed on us, sadness in her eyes. “I knew what was happening, but he didn’t tell me anything. And that hurt. When I found out it was because he love
d a boy and he worried I would be mad at him, that made me feel like a horrible mama.”

  “But you’re not!” Sophia insisted at the same time Frankie said, “Mama, stop.”

  Frankie slid out from under my arm and went to kneel beside his mama’s rocking chair. “You’re the best mama any of us could’ve wished for. It was wrong of me to assume you’d stop loving me or wouldn’t accept Calvin in my life.”

  “I never gave you a reason to think otherwise, and for that I’ll never forgive myself,” she responded. My heart broke for this family who was experiencing so much pain that could’ve been avoided.

  “You should, Mama. I already have.” He stood and kissed the top of her head. “But what you said to Sophia is good advice. We all need to make our own decisions and we need to be strong enough to admit when we might’ve been wrong. And you were, Mama. You showed strength and you made the situation right. I love you.”

  “I love you too.” Both of them wiped tears from their eyes. The front door opened, and I heard one of the brothers’ voices. Mama eased herself out of the chair and disappeared, muttering something about needing to finish getting lunch ready.

  Frankie scooped Sophia into his arms and spun around in time to see Freddie walk into the room. “Hey man, everything good at the restaurant?”

  “Yeah, Tony’s holding down the fort so I can take care of a few things and Carlos has control of the kitchen. That cool with you?” Freddie looked like what he needed was to go home and sleep for a week. His expression softened when Sophia wiggled out of Frankie’s arms and raced to her daddy. “Hey squirt! You been good for Nonna?”

  She nodded her head with the excitement only a little child could express. “We made basagna and bread. Nonna let me rub the garlic all over the bread before she put it in the oven. I couldn’t do that part, she said, because I’m too little to use the oven.”

  “She’s right. Do you like cooking with Nonna?” She nodded again. “Me too, but I need to talk to your Uncle Frankie for a minute. Can you go help her and tell us when lunch is ready?”

  “Yes, Daddy.” She hopped down and ran to the kitchen.

  I looked around, wishing I’d been given the grand tour so I could make my exit, but I didn’t know where to go. Freddie approached, hand extended. “We haven’t formally met. I’m Freddie, the second oldest of the motley bunch.”

  I stood to shake Freddie’s hand, and I’m man enough to admit his firm grip combined with the few inches he had on me were slightly intimidating. No doubt that was his intent, but I was glad Frankie had family who were worried about his well-being. “It’s good to officially meet you. I have to say, my son’s a huge fan of your food.”

  It couldn’t hurt to stroke the man’s ego, right? As I’d hoped, Freddie perked up a bit at the compliment. “That’s all because of Mama and our Nonna Marino. Unless you’d rather not, I’d like it if you’d stay. What I need to say to Frankie pertains to you, too.”

  Frankie eyed his brother warily and took my hand as we sat beside one another on the couch. He glanced my direction and back to his brother before sliding closer. “Everything okay, Freddie?”

  Freddie scrubbed at the back of his neck, staring at something across the room. He let out a few deep breaths without responding and I felt my heart rate increase. When he finally looked at Frankie he shook his head slowly. “Tony told me what happened. He also told me you weren’t actually out of town this week. While I wish you’d have come to me, I suppose I can understand why you didn’t. I’m sorry that I’ve got my own issues right now, but I want you to know you can always come to me.”

  He turned his focus to me next. “I want to thank you for being there for Frankie. He’s always had this idea that he’s had to do everything on his own to live up to our father’s expectations and it was slowly killing him. Maybe not physically, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him as happy as he’s been since the two of you got together. I’m not sure what you had to do to get him to let us in, but I know you had something to do with it.”

  “I haven’t done that much other than give him something to come home to at night,” I said, hoping it’d be enough to appease Freddie.

  “Well, whatever it is, I hope you’ll keep doing it. Tony and Enzo have nothing but good things to say about you. It’s going to take some time, but soon I’d like it if all of us brothers can sit down and find a better way to run Marino’s in the future.” He pulled a paper out of his pocket and handed it to Frankie. “The restaurant is technically yours, but if you’re agreeable, I think it’s time for us to bring in some help from outside the family. Tony and I sat down and made a list of the employees we’d like to promote to management roles.”

  “Freddie, if it’s too much for you with everything else you’ve got going on, I’ll understand,” Frankie told him.

  “That’s not it at all. Okay, so I’ll admit I’m expecting I’ll need to cut back my own hours, but I don’t want Sophia growing up the way we did. I don’t want her feeling like the restaurant is more important than family. You have a family of your own now and hearing that Calvin’s son asked to celebrate his birthday at Marino’s so you could join them for part of the meal was eye opening. You should’ve been able to spend the entire night with your family, not a few minutes with Tony and Enzo crashing the party.”

  “That’s my fault,” I interrupted. “When my ex-wife asked me to invite him, I didn’t want to rush him into what could’ve been an awkward moment. Because of my actions, Ryan chose Marino’s, but as I said, the boy’s addicted to your food so he may have asked to go there anyway.”

  “Thank you, but that’s not the point.” Freddie straightened in his seat, leaning forward slightly. “Frankie, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than working side by side with you guys. But it’s time all of us start thinking about what happens going forward. I’d like Sophia to get to know Ryan if it’s okay with Calvin and his ex-wife. For now, he’s the closest thing she has to a cousin.”

  With Marisa and me both being only children, we’d never expected Ryan to have an extended family. Hearing Freddie not only welcoming me into the fold but also creating a place for my son choked me up a bit. I cleared my throat, praying my voice wouldn’t betray me now. “I’d like that very much, and I’m sure his mother will be fine with it. It may be tricky for the next few months as he’s in the middle of the hockey season.”

  “Well, maybe we’ll have to get those employees promoted so we can all cheer him on.”

  Wow. Just wow. I had no words to express how grateful I was that this was the family I’d fallen into. When I’d first approached Frankie about a relationship, I’d been so focused on what I wanted to do for him that I hadn’t given much thought to what it would mean for me. Having the approval of the majority of the Marino family was huge.

  “Boys, lunch is ready,” Mama called out from the kitchen. I followed the eldest Marino brothers into the kitchen, taking a seat between Frankie and Mama. Freddie sat at the head of the table and offered up a quick blessing before we dug in.

  Throughout the meal, I answered endless questions from Freddie and Mama about work, my family, and the topic we all had in common: Frankie. We moved to the family room after the three of us guys filled the dishwasher and chatted a bit longer.

  As we left so Frankie and Freddie could get ready for work, Mama pulled me in for another one of her hugs. This time, I returned the embrace and was rewarded with my first stained cheek. “Thank you for giving Frankie back to us. We’ll never be able to repay you for putting a smile back on his face.”

  We’d barely touched the surface of anything I’d dreamed of exploring with him, but as we drove home, I had faith it was a journey that’d last a lifetime.

  Challenge

  Freddie’s Story

  “Daddy, I’m bored!” I barely heard Sophia’s whine over the clatter of pans hitting the floor. I let out a heavy sigh because this was the hundredth time my little girl had wandered into the kitchen since we’d go
tten here this morning. Most days, she stayed with Mama, but I’d stupidly thought I could juggle keeping an eye on her with trying to get everything ready for the biggest private party we’d ever hosted, all while working hard to not think about who would be walking through the doors later today.

  I yanked the apron over my head and steered her back to Frankie’s office. The room had been transformed into a makeshift daycare, complete with toys, coloring books, the iPad, and even a DVD player with Sophia’s entire collection. There was no shortage of things to do, which meant she was having one of her needy days today.

  My heart broke and I felt like the world’s worst father for getting irritated with her. The past few months had been rough and no amount of reassurance could convince her everyone she loved wouldn’t disappear if they weren’t right there with her. That shit tended to happen when the woman who gave birth to a kid took off, claiming she needed to “find herself.”

  “Sweetie, if you can sit back here through one movie, I’ll come and get you when I’m ready to make put out the cookies,” I bargained with her. By now, Mama, Enzo, and Matteo should be on their way to the church, Tony and Frankie should have the dining room set up, and I was the one woefully behind thanks to the constant interruptions. “If you want, I’ll ask Uncle Tony to come back and watch the movie with you.”

  “But I wanna watch Peter Pan and he says I watch it too much,” she complained. Tony was right; there was no reason all of us should have every line of that movie memorized, but we did because it was the movie Sophia needed to watch almost daily and none of them were man enough to tell her no. I avoided it whenever possible, even if that meant resorting to bribery, because just hearing the title of the movie felt like the captain’s hook was twisting around in my chest, directly through my heart.