Google Your Husband Back

by Julie Butterfield

  ‘I just don’t see how going to salsa is going to make Alex come back,’ wailed Kate.

  ‘Because,’ Fiona frowned reading the screen in front of her, ‘it will hurt his ego that you don’t seem devastated. It will make him wonder why you’re out there having fun when he assumed you’d be at home crying.’ Kate grimaced at the thought of all the crying she had done since Alex left. ‘And it will make him want to initiate contact again because he probably isn’t ready for you to move on without him, even though he’s with Sandra.’

  ‘And then he’ll come back?’

  ‘Yes! Well, maybe. But not straight away, we have to make him realise what he’s lost, establish that Sandra is a poor substitute, that he behaved impulsively and remind him of all the reasons he fell in love with you in the first place.’

  Kate flinched. It was a long list.

  ‘But then he’ll come back,’ continued Fiona hurriedly. ‘For now we just need to get Alex’s attention. And salsa is the start!’

  Chapter 11

  Kate had changed her mind several times about going to the salsa class. She had begged Fiona to go with her but her friend refused.

  ‘If I go then he’ll think I’m taking you out because you’re desperately sad and need distracting.’

  ‘I am desperately sad,’ Kate had wailed.

  ‘But remember what it said on Google, you have to look as though you’re out there making new friends, starting a new life, without Alex.’

  ‘But I don’t want to make a new life without him Fee, I just want him to come home!’

  ‘I know darling, I know, but this is a means to that end. Remember what Google said - engage his interest, make him intrigued, make him start thinking about you again.’

  Kate had given in and packed a few things for Millie who was going to stay with Fiona and Stuart. If nothing else, she reasoned, it would get her out of the house for a brief time. She had spent the last week staring out of the window for hours on end, her phone clutched in her hand waiting for Alex’s call - which never came. The tears still rolled down her cheeks constantly, she spent every night sobbing and every day searching her memories for the moment Alex stopped loving her.

  ‘And don’t think you have to come straight back!’ Fiona had said, ‘stay out a little bit, enjoy yourself.’

  ‘I’m going to salsa,’ Kate replied firmly. ‘There’s only so much enjoyment I can cope with at the moment and I think that will do.’

  ‘Well please don’t worry about rushing back.’

  Kate had reluctantly looked through her wardrobe for something to wear, eventually pulling out a dress from the back that almost made her smile. It was plain black, cut on the bias with a deep ruffly asymmetric skirt and she’d worn it when she and Alex had gone to a Latin American themed party three years ago. They’d had such fun that night, thought Kate dreamily. Well come to think of it, she’d had fun, Alex had become a little tetchy as the night wore on. Kate hadn’t stopped dancing from the moment they’d arrived, catching up with old friends and having a great time. Alex had declared after a few hours that he had a headache and was tired after a hard week at work. Kate had felt mildly irritated, she’d had a hard week at work as well and that was in part why she was having such a good time now, relaxing with friends and enjoying the throb of good music. But it was a momentary irritation and she had obligingly left much earlier than she might have done otherwise. She’d kissed Alex’s aching head and said that they really must go dancing more often. Alex had agreed and thanked her for being so understanding and they’d gone home, where Alex’s headache had disappeared so they made love and Kate had fallen into a deep, contented sleep, thankful she was so happily married to such a wonderful person.

  Kate sighed, but surprisingly the tears didn’t fall this time. She had spent most of the week with a face so waterlogged that she was amazed she hadn’t developed scales. Maybe she was simply empty of tears, maybe there would come a day when she just couldn’t cry any more.

  She shook the creases from the dress and hung it on the outside of the wardrobe. In fact, as she looked at it with her head tipped to one side, did she detect the faint feeling of anticipation at the thought of going out that night? She shook her head, of course not. It was just nerves, or dread. It wouldn’t be at all the same without Alex and she wandered downstairs to answer Millie’s strident call for attention.

  Kate put the dress back in the wardrobe twice during the course of the afternoon and phoned Fiona to tell her she wasn’t going to salsa. She would much rather stay at home and feel sorry for herself. And, she had said, what if that was the evening that Alex phoned her? The fact that Kate’s phone had remained silent after her late night call hurt almost as much as Alex walking out. Kate had been forced to accept that Alex had been prepared to say anything to end the call, and the fact that Sandra had been a witness to Kate’s distress brought yet another stab of pain to Kate’s already battered heart.

  But both times she phoned, Fiona reminded her of the plan and pointed out how wonderful it would be if Alex did phone whilst Kate was breathless from salsa and so clearly out enjoying herself and both times Kate acquiesced and took the dress back out.

  When she finally turned up on her friend’s doorstep, Stuart gave a low wolf whistle that caused Kate to blush deeply.

  ‘Wow,’ offered Fiona. ’You look great! Absolutely perfect!’

  Kate had been tempted to throw on a pair of jeans, go to salsa for the prescribed hour and return home where she could report that she had at least followed the plan. But of course the whole purpose was to get Alex’s attention, to reach out to that part of him that had turned away from Kate and to remind him of the girl he had fallen in love with. And Olivia and Helen reporting back to the office that Alex’s abandoned wife had turned up to salsa with red rimmed eyes and blotchy skin was more than she could bear.

  So Kate had spent the afternoon in preparation, chatting away to Millie who watched as her mother had a long soak in a scented bath, lathered on half a pot of cream to soothe her dry and cracked skin worn away from days of crying and generally did everything possible to look like someone who had left the house for the sole purpose of having fun.

  Her legs had been shaved and moisturized, her hair washed and conditioned until it gleamed and hung down her back in a radiance of strawberry blonde waves. She had steadied her hand long enough to hide the violet shadows under her eyes. She had outlined her lips in a soft pink and her eyes with dark gray. She had curled her lashes and swept them with mascara and finally she had slipped on the black ruffled dress that to her delight was a little loose around the hips and showed more than a glimpse of long slim legs.

  ‘Really?’ asked Kate, tugging at the dress which she had suddenly decided was a little too short.

  ‘Really!’ confirmed Fiona, her eyes shining at the sight of Kate looking back to her normal self.

  ‘Right Stuart will drop you off at the wine bar.’

  ‘Oh no,’ exclaimed Kate. ’I’ll catch a bus, I can’t have you looking after Millie and driving me and …’

  ‘Stuart will drop you at the wine bar,’ repeated Fiona firmly. ‘It’s never easy looking your best when you’ve just had an encounter with public transport. You just make sure you look drop dead gorgeous when it all starts.’

  Kate nodded, butterflies dancing their own salsa in her stomach and followed Stuart to the car.

  ‘Do you want me to come in with you?’ he asked after they’d been sitting outside the wine bar for five minutes without Kate moving.

  Kate shook her head. ‘Sorry Stuart, I am going in. I just need to – get ready.’

  Stuart nodded. He’d left the engine running so the heating kept the cold night air at bay and he sat back in his seat. ‘Take your time Kate love, take your time.’

  Eventually Kate straightened her shoulders. ‘Okay, wish me luck,’ and she was gone, slipping out of the car and dashing across the already frosted pavement to the welcome heat of the wine bar.

/>   Kate’s heart was hammering and she headed straight for the ladies as instructed by Fiona. She took off her coat, straightened her dress and smoothed down her hair. Another coat of lip gloss and she went back into the wine bar, already containing a surprising number of people.

  Music played softly in the background and there was a hum of voices and an air of suppressed excitement. Kate’s palms were slightly damp and she wiped them discreetly along her dress.

  It felt so strange walking into the room without Alex by her side, as though she had forgotten something important. She closed her eyes, perhaps it was too soon to do the whole fun thing. Google didn’t know everything, perhaps she just wasn’t ready to show Alex what a good time she could have without him.

  ‘Salsa?’ asked a bright voice to her left and Kate swung round to see a young woman in a cat suit that left nothing to the imagination.

  ‘Er yes.’

  ‘Been before?’ asked the sultry young thing.

  ‘No, er yes. I mean,’ said Kate in confusion, ‘first time here but I have done some salsa before.’

  ‘Excellent! Name?’

  ‘Kate’

  ‘My name is Chantelle and I give the class with my colleague Victor - enjoy yourself!’ and off she wandered, calling out to a small group who had just opened the door and let in a blast of artic air.

  Kate hung her coat in the corner with the others and tugging at her skirt again she stood hugging her arms around herself for comfort.

  ‘Hi, you new?’ asked another voice.

  Kate turned to see a plump young woman standing by her side, a friendly face smiling at her under a mop of curly brown hair.

  ‘Er - yes I am,’ Kate replied, trying for a friendly casual tone which sounded more like a frightened squeak.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ grinned the woman, ‘we’re a friendly lot!’

  Kate stretched her face into a smile. ‘Good.’

  She remembered Fiona’s instructions that she was to make new friends and was about to ask the young woman her name when there was a clap of hands.

  ‘Oaky!’ shouted Chantelle. ‘Everybody ready?’

  A small cheer went through the group and Kate looked round. It was mainly women with a smattering of men and they all stood in small groups ready to begin.

  ‘We’ll go through the basics, get everybody up to speed. Everyone got a partner? Kate wasn’t it, do you have a partner?’

  Everybody in the room turned to look at Kate whose cheeks burned with embarrassment. She wondered if it was obvious to everyone that she was clearly without a partner in every sense of the word, abandoned and unwanted.

  She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

  ‘No problem,’ shouted Chantelle across the music, ‘we often get people coming on their own.’

  And yet she still hadn’t learnt the art of diplomacy thought Kate.

  ‘Come to the front and join Victor. Maybe you can persuade a friend to come next time?’

  Horrified Kate stayed were she was. She had allowed herself to be talked into an hour of fun, not to stand in front of a large group of people and be humiliated.

  ‘Actually I’m on my own this week.’

  It was the plump woman who had spoken to Kate. ‘Perhaps Kate and I could pair up?’

  ‘Excellent Sophie,’ shouted Chantelle. ‘Now let’s go.’

  An hour later Kate’s cheeks were flushed with colour, her hair was flying round her shoulders and her hips were wriggling as she and Sophie counted … one, two, three … and … one, two, three … and … one, two, three … and … one, two, three -over and over again.

  Then the music stopped, a round of applause broke out and to Kate’s disappointment the class was over.

  ‘Hey you were really good!’ congratulated Sophie. ‘I thought you said you’d only been a few times before.’

  ‘I had, but I did used to love it.’

  ‘Coming again?’ grinned Sophie.

  ‘You bet,’ said Kate without any hesitation as she joined in with the clapping.

  The bar was starting to fill up and even the area to the back where the group had been dancing was now ringed with evening revelers, all watching the salsa.

  It had taken Kate a matter of minutes to remember how much she had enjoyed dancing and only a few minutes more to remember how much she loved going out and being part of a happy throng of people. As she and Sophie made their way towards the rest of the dance group, now having a well-deserved drink, she caught the eye of a tall, dark haired man who had been leaning against a pillar watching them dance.

  ‘Hey well done you two,’ he offered as Sophie and Kate walked by. ‘It’s almost making me want to join in.’

  ‘Then brush off the dancing shoes,’ joked Sophie, ‘the more the merrier.’

  ‘I might take you up on that,’ he murmured holding Kate’s eye briefly and she gave him a quick smile before hurrying after Sophie.

  ‘Wine?’ asked Sophie having elbowed her way to the bar.

  ‘’Oh I wasn’t going to stay,’ started Kate, ‘I just came for the class. I’ve left my daughter with friends you see and …’

  Sophie tilted her head to one side. ‘But everyone has at least one quick drink before they leave. Sure I can’t tempt you?’

  Kate thought back to Fiona as she had closed the door behind Kate and Stuart. ‘Remember, stay as long as you want honey. Millie is quite safe here with us.’

  Kate chewed on her lip. She was, against the odds actually enjoying herself.

  ‘Okay, I’ll have white please,’ and smiling, Sophie called out their order.

  Five minutes later Kate was stood with a group of salsa dancers as they laughed about the mistakes they’d made when she felt a hand on her arm.

  Swinging round she saw a face she recognized.

  ‘Kate isn’t it, Alex Patterson’s wife?’

  Kate nodded.

  ‘I’m Olivia, we’ve met a couple of times.’

  Kate didn’t mention that only recently she had stared at Olivia’s photograph and wondered if she was the women her husband was now in bed with.

  ‘Hi Olivia, were you doing the salsa as well?’ asked Kate innocently.

  Olivia nodded enthusiastically. ‘Oh yes, I’ve been coming for a few weeks and now I’ve persuaded Helen to join me.’ She grabbed her friend’s arm and turned her round so she could see Kate.

  ‘Look who I’ve found, it’s Alex’s wife, Kate.’

  Helen was a wiry little thing with masses of frizzy hair and more energy than Battersea power station.

  ‘Oh wasn’t it fun!’ she demanded. ‘Is it your first week as well? Will you be coming again? I can’t wait for next week!’

  Both Kate and Olivia laughed and Kate agreed that she would indeed be joining them the following week.

  ‘So,’ twinkled Olivia, ‘any chance of seeing Alex here next Friday? Is he a salsa man?’

  Kate felt the blood pounding in her head. She felt her hand shake, a tiny little shake as she held onto her wine glass.

  ‘Alex?’ she laughed. It was a little tinny but at least it wasn’t a sob. ‘Oh I don’t think so. Not unless Sandra comes as well.’

  Olivia and Helen looked at Kate with blank expressions.

  ‘Alex has left me,’ explained Kate carefully, wanting to get the facts out and keep the emotion in. ‘He left me for Sandra Maddison - last week. You probably know her, doesn’t she work in accounts with you Olivia?’

  The effort was almost too much for Kate and she felt her legs go slightly weak. It was the first time she had said the words out loud. The first time she had acknowledged Alex’s betrayal to anyone other than Fiona – excluding of course the queue at the butcher’s shop.

  She had expected it to be difficult and it was. But also ever so slightly liberating.

  ‘Left you?’ echoed Olivia in shock.

  ‘For Sandra Maddison!’ added Helen.

  Kate nodded, blinking rapidly so the tears were kept at bay.

 
‘Oh my God,’ exclaimed Olivia looking pale. ‘I’m so sorry Kate, I really had no idea.’

  ‘For Sandra Maddison!’ screeched Helen again. ‘Is he mad? He left you for Sandra Maddison?’

  Kate could have kissed her. Whether Helen was being honest or supportive, it was the boost Kate needed and she wanted to fling her arms around Helen’s neck and give her a big kiss. Instead she just nodded, not entirely trusting her voice.

  The two women shook their heads in disbelief. ‘Well he’s kept that quiet,’ said Helen grimly. ‘They both have.’

  ‘Haven’t you got a baby?’ asked Olivia.

  ‘Millie. Nine months old, well going on for ten months now.’

  There was another gasp as Olivia and Helen looked at each other in shock.

  ‘And he’s with Sandra Maddison, now?’ asked Helen as though she still felt she may have misunderstood what Kate had been saying.

  Another nod from Kate.

  ‘Well he’s a fool,’ announced Olivia fervently, laying a comforting hand on Kate’s arm. ‘An absolute fool.’

  ‘And good for you,’ added Helen. ‘You do absolutely right, getting out and enjoying yourself. No point staying at home crying for that waste of space.’

  Oh if only they knew thought Kate sadly, if only they knew.

  ‘And you obviously enjoyed it,’ declared Olivia, ‘I was watching you!’

  Kate smiled. ‘Well I tried salsa years ago,’ she confided, ‘but I stopped when I met Alex. He didn’t like it much.’

  ‘Well, maybe he should have carried on dancing. Might have kept his mind off Sandra Maddison!’ declared Olivia then held up her glass, ‘Welcome to salsa Kate! We’re going to have a wonderful time!’

  Chapter 12

  It was four days after the salsa and Kate was as despondent as ever. There had been no contact from Alex and the promised call had never arrived. Fiona was countenancing patience although Kate had pointed out that Alex should surely have been in touch to check on Millie even if he didn’t want to speak to Kate. The silence hurt.

  And although she had enjoyed her prescribed hour of fun at salsa, it had left her feeling worse than ever. It had been such a long time since she and Alex had been out and enjoyed themselves. She’d told Fiona that it made her realise how much she had neglected Alex, letting their social life fall by the wayside after Millie had arrived.