Shamed (A Ruthless Rebels MC Novella Book One)

by Michele, Ryan

  Chapter 6

  Pinch of fear, pinch of need, stir the two in the caldron and hold on for the night!

  With my arms wrapped around DJ, my front pressing against his back, I’ve never felt so damn free in my life. The wind whips around us seeming to take away all the shit happening and what I’ve mistakenly let into my home. For a brief moment in time, I’m able to release it and breathe.

  I wanted to call Aunt Ruth, but DJ told me to wait it out. That if I called it would spook his mother. Hell, I was spooked.

  Never in my life was I so afraid then when those three men came in. They had that gleam about them that screamed bad and pain. Even holding my ground, my nerves were shot. When DJ walked in, I could have run up and kissed him. He ended up kissing me, though.

  The words he said in to my ear, ring again and I can feel my lower half tingle, add in the vibrations of the bike and I close my eyes trying to get myself together.

  He said he was going to fuck me. That can’t happen. There’s too much history there and opening up that can of worms isn’t in the cards. I know myself and having sex with him will tie him to my heart again. I can’t separate the two when it comes to him. Never could.

  His brother’s, Shamus and Clover, ride beside us and the roar of their engines beam down the road. As we get closer to my house, I press my cheek against DJ’s back and suck him in. I shouldn’t, but can’t help myself either. He smells of testosterone, oak and the outdoors, a very heady combination.

  His body is rock hard and when he reaches my hand giving me a squeeze, it takes everything inside of me not to allow myself to go back all those years. That emotion is too close to the surface.

  We turn into my drive, the bikes turn off and I get off from behind DJ, his warmth leaving me and an instant shiver hits me that I don’t like. The other guys climb off their rides as well.

  I rush into the house and instantly see the couch is empty. Aunt Ruth comes around the corner, her eyes tired as she rubs them.

  “What’s all the commotion going on?” she asks, mid yawn.

  “Where’s Cora?”

  “She took off out the back just as I woke up to the sounds of the bikes too. Said she’d be back in a while.”

  “Motherfucker,” DJ grumbles and turns to Shamus. “Need to get eyes on her. I’m sure she’s ghost here tonight, but need to find her location.”

  “Got it, brother.” Shamus pulls out his cell and steps out the door, not closing it behind him.

  “Is mom okay?” I question even though there is all this commotion.

  “She’s asleep in her room. I had to give her one of her pills, so she’ll be out for a while.” My heart sinks. Mom had been doing okay, in the sense that she had met me for breakfast a few times and actually talked to me a little. It wasn’t much, but I’m taking it as a good sign. This, this isn’t a good sign. I can’t help but wonder if Cora Leigh staying here has been too taxing on my mother. I had hoped it would help to have a friend in the house, someone new, but maybe it was wrong.

  “Damn,” I whisper.

  “Who’s this?” Aunt Ruth asks looking to DJ and Clover.

  “Do you remember DJ? It’s Cora’s son.” Aunt Ruth’s eyes grow wide knowing exactly who DJ is, both now and what he meant to me growing up. After my mom checked out, Aunt Ruth was the only person I could talk to. She held me as I cried so many nights at the loss of my father and my break-up with DJ.

  “Mind telling me what’s going on here, Dixon?” Aunt Ruth, never the bullshitter and straight to the point. That’s why I love her.

  “My mother has herself in some trouble. She laid that trouble at Kenie’s door and tonight it came knockin’. I’m here to make sure that nothing touches her.”

  The warm melty feeling in my heart ignites and I try to push it away to no avail. There has to be something wrong with me. This guy hurt me and now here I am getting all gushy about him. I search for the lock to put on my heart, but unfortunately I can’t find the damn thing. So is my life.

  “What kind of trouble?” Aunt Ruth addresses DJ and not me.

  For some reason my first thought is that DJ won’t tell her, he proves me wrong.

  “She’s a whore who owes a dickhead money. That dickhead wants it and will do anything to get it. Including taking it out on anyone who’s around my mother.” Aunt Ruth’s tired eyes grow wide as she takes in a huge inhalation of air. “Right. So, I’m here to keep Kenie, you and her mom safe.”

  “You don’t think they’ll come here, do you?” she asks.

  “Don’t know. If they’re smart, no. But they don’t seem to be so there’s a chance. My boys’ll stay outside and guard tonight. But I’m fuckin’ wiped and need some shut eye.” DJ turns to me. “Let’s turn in.”

  Aunt Ruth starts to say something, but for some reason I shake my head cutting her off. I know what she’s going to say because it’s the same thing running through my head over and over again. He’s going to break your heart. But I’m tired too and DJ makes me feel safe. I need that. At least tonight. One night. I can handle that.

  “I’m heading back to bed.” Aunt Ruth dismisses us and turns down the hallway. She’s been sleeping in the third bedroom with every shift I have, practically living here. She has a small apartment, but I need to talk to her about just moving in. Mom doesn’t seem to be getting any better and no use in her paying for something she’s not using.

  “Give me five,” he tells me as he leans over and kisses the top of my head all before turning and moving out of the house with Shamus.

  The two have always been close. Shamus is a year older than DJ and they patched to the Rebels together. Shamus is tall but not as tall as DJ. His presence can be intimidating all on its own, but knowing him for so long, he’s always had a humor to him that the other members of the Rebels don’t all share. Shamus has dark hair that spikes wildly all over his head, like perpetual helmet head, but he was like that before he patched to the club. He has chocolate brown eyes that have this mischief dancing in them at all times.

  Clover waits outside. I don’t know the man other than he has the red hair of a leprechaun and a build that could intimidate a body builder. He also has no problem showing it off, constantly riding his motorcycle with no shirt and just his cut to cover the sculpted muscles underneath.

  The urge to wash my face where that sleezeball touched me comes hard and fast. I dash to the bathroom and do just that along with my business. Entering my small bedroom with my teal bedding, I toss off my work clothes and put on pajama bottoms and a tank. The sheets are cold against my body as I slide into them. I pull the blankets up around me and try to warm myself.

  The fear from earlier hits me hard. I can’t stop the tear that rolls down my cheek. What if DJ hadn’t come? I know I would have fought to the death with my bat, but what good would that have done me with three strong men. They could have done anything they wanted with me and I would’ve been powerless to do anything about it.

  That thought chills me more and I curl my knees up to my chest needing the warmth. There has always been that sliver of fear with working the night shift at a truck stop, but never once did I feel it like tonight. The feel that no option looked promising.

  I sense him and turn to the door which he clicks shut then turns the small lock. I should tell him to go, tell him that I’ll be just fine—but I can’t. He’s so strong and I need the safety that comes with him around. I need the comfort of the past. I need that feeling like everything is okay in my life once again, what we had before somehow never went away, if only I pretend it for one night.

  He says not a word, but strips every stich of clothing from his body. My breath catches at the sight before me. I knew he had broad shoulders, but without a shirt on, they seem larger. Add in the cut muscle and the tattoos my heart thumps just as my core clenches. His slight stomach turns into a delicious V that points straight down to a protruding cock. Hell, who am I kidding—it’s more like an anaconda.

  Long, thick and so much
different than I remember. As I peer closer, I notice silver shining from the tip of it. Holy fucking shit. It’s pierced. A bar goes straight up and down at the very tip of it.

  “Damn, did that hurt?” I blurt out before thinking better of it.

  He chuckles. “It’s worth it.” DJ stalks to the bed, his strides long and sure. I wait for the nerves to kick in or for my brain to stop me, but it doesn’t come. It’s as if my body and brain are on the same page for once. He pulls the covers back taking me in.

  He tisks and shakes his head.

  Insecurity hits like a boulder. No, I don’t look like I did back then. My breasts have filled out a bit and my stomach is not as flat and my hips are rounder, but I don’t think I’m bad—not at all. Who the hell is he to shake his head in disapproval.

  I move to get up from the bed, a fire beginning to ignite. His steel banded arm wraps around my waist and pulls me to the bed. Somehow, he positions his naked hard body above mine, the weight trapping me. My hands go to his chest and I give a good shove, but nothing happens. The man doesn’t even move a millimeter.

  “Get off,” I clip looking up into his smiling eyes. “And stop smiling.”

  “You’re cute. And I plan to get off, I plan to get you off too.”

  DJ, big bad biker man with the Ruthless Rebels just called me cute? What woman wants to be called cute. My glare only makes his lips tip.

  “Sorry I don’t look like Hooker Barbie.”

  To this, he bursts out laughing. Full on, rumble shake the bed laughs. I’m mesmerized by the sight. Years it has been since I’ve seen this man laugh. Years that I’ve missed this sound. Years that I’ve stashed away in my memory banks wanting desperately to hear it again. Now, this moment—it’s coming true and I soak it in.

  His body still shakes as he looks down at me. “Kenie, baby, hooker barbie, princess barbie, ain’t a damn one of them can get my dick as hard as you.” He pauses, his breath coming down on me in hot pants. “And for the record, I don’t need a fuckin’ hooker. Never had to pay for sex and ain’t about to start that shit now. So stow your fuckin’ judgements for the night.”

  DJ’s lips come to mine in a searing kiss. I find the hands that were pushing him away are now clutching onto him, not willing to let go. He kisses me breathless before ripping his lips away, the burn of his hair tingling my skin.

  “Told you I was gonna fuck you. That means no clothes. And babe, let’s just be clear here, you don’t wear clothes any time we’re in bed.”

  It hits me that he didn’t see distain over my body, it was over the fact that I wasn’t naked for his enjoyment. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but the more his body presses mine into the soft bed, the more it wakes up wanting attention. Years, I haven’t had a man. Years, of going without. Years, of living but not existing. I want to feel. I want to remember. I want him.

  Moving my hands to the side of his face, I pull his head down to my lips and take what I need.

  Chapter 7

  What I’ve been waiting for!

  Kenie’s lips devour me, sucking on my bottom lip and pulling me so I have to rest my weight on my elbows at the side of her head. Her lips are soft, tender, exactly like I remember them. The thing that’s different is the timidness is gone. Back in the day, she always had this uncertainty about her. It wasn’t a lack of confidence, more of a lack of knowledge which got me hot.

  The way she’s kissing me now had better not be from any other motherfucker or I’ll have to gut him.

  I allow her to take what she needs, considering the shit she went through tonight. Knowing Kenie isn’t of my world, yet, I reign in my need for control just for a bit and let her feel that she has it back. It’s not every day she gets threatened and if I have anything to say about it, that shit’ll never happen again.

  My cock throbs, needing attention. I rock back and forth against her warm pussy through the fabric just as her back arches. Like that does she. The harder she kisses the more forceful I rock. Her legs fall open further, willing and compliant. My restraint snaps as I tear away from her, rising to my knees.

  “Clothes. Off. Now.”

  Her eyes grow large, but the desire is there, burning like a candle that needs a flame. Well, I’ve got the motherfuckin’ match baby.

  Kenie reaches down and pulls up her tank, so fucking slowly that each inch of her skin that gets exposed hardens my dick more. By the time she pulls it over her tits, I unleash, pulling off her pants in one swift movement and go straight for them. She’s naked under me and I can’t hold back. Putting the tip of her breast in my mouth, the suction has Kenie’s fingers lacing through my hair and back arching. I pluck the other hardened nipple with my thumb and forefinger, rolling them as my mouth devours her flesh. Switching, I do the same to the other and if my body wasn’t pressing hers to the mattress, she’d be all over the place squirming.

  “DJ,” she breathes huskily pulling at my hair. I can smell her pussy from here and as much as I want to eat it, I’ve waited too long to be inside her.

  “Condom?” I ask knowing I have one in my jeans, but not wanting to move from my spot with my cock lined right up at her entrance. Fuck, one thrust and I’d be home. She shakes her head no. Gotta admit, it pleases me that she doesn’t have them, that means no fuckers have been with her. Or, at least, that’s what I’m going with.

  As much as I want to take her bare, I know better. Climbing off, I grab the rubber and am back on top of her within seconds. Pressing myself at her entrance, she slowly takes me in her eyes rolling back in her head. I have no doubt my piercing is hitting tender nerves she didn’t know existed.

  This isn’t my norm, I fully admit. I’m more of a fuck hard man, fast and wild; but, something about Kenie in this moment, I want to go slow and savor each touch. It’s been far too long since I’ve been with her. Far too long since I’ve wanted to delay my release.

  My cock hits deep inside her as she covers her mouth up muffling a small scream. Slowly, I pull in and out of her warm tight pussy loving the feel of my cock sliding into her heat.

  “Harder,” she calls out and something in me snaps. One word is all it takes for me to unleash the beast.

  I rise, lift up her knees to her chest and pound my rigid cock inside of her long and deep. The bed creaks with each thrust, but I don’t break stride. No, I take her harder, longer, deeper. She starts to scream as her pussy clamps down on my dick, strangling the come right out of him. She shoves her arm between her teeth trying unsuccessfully to mask her screams of pleasure as we tip over the edge.

  My cock twitches and jumps with the last of her contractions around it until I fall to the bed trying to keep most of my weight off of her. Our bodies heave and our skin is damp. Her hands at my back squeeze and I look up and into her beautiful blue-gray eyes, the ones that have haunted me for years.

  Before she can say a word, I kiss her long and deep. “Need to get rid of this,” I say, pulling out of her body and reluctantly leaving her on the bed. Never in all the years, since Kenie, have I been reluctant to leave the bed. No, any other woman—I’d have kicked her ass out. But not Kenie. Never Kenie.

  I discard the condom in a tissue and toss it in the trash. Kenie lays there, her beautiful hair a mess, but still in its braid. Her lips look stung by bees and face a mask of pleasure and confusion. I’ll deal with the confusion tomorrow after I get some shut eye.

  Climbing into bed, I pull her back to my front, wrapping my arms around her and the blankets over top of us.

  “DJ?” she asks and I kiss her neck.

  “Tomorrow. I’m fuckin’ tired as hell. Everything can wait till tomorrow.”

  It takes a while, but I feel her body relax. Only then do I fall asleep.

  Funny how the first time she fell asleep in my arms was her eighteenth birthday when I got us a hotel room for the night and she told her parents she was spending the night with her friend Marcy. Here we are nine years later and it still feels the same.

  Right. Fucking perfect
.

  I met Kenie in high school when I was fuckin’ off in class and she was assigned to tutor me or I would flunk out and not graduate. Kenderly was so smart, so focused, so determined. Only, instead of studying the books, I studied her body. The more I flirted the quicker she had some witty comeback. I got off on the challenge. Eventually I got off the girl and the woman she was quickly stole my heart.

  First love was a twist of sweet goodness, unashamed emotions, and hell all together in a way I couldn’t possibly understand then. By the time it was all said and done, there was no going back for either of us.

  Pride is a powerful emotion.

  It was our downfall.

  She stirs against me and I remain still in hopes she’ll go back to sleep. When she wakes I don’t know how she’s going to be. Will she think last night was a mistake?

  I’ll be damned if I’m something or someone to be ashamed of.

  I drift off to sleep, Kenie tight in my arms and the smell of her hair in my nostrils. Time to take back what we lost.

  There’s a noise from the machine on her nightstand.

  “Kenderly,” I hear her mother’s voice. “Kenderly, he’s gone,” she cries and my mind races as Kenie jumps up and throws on clothes without a second thought to me or what we have to sort out. She races out of her room to what I assume is to get to her mother.

  Deciding to give them space and me time to get my head on straight, I head to her bathroom to shower. Shamus dumped a duffle bag with my shit by her bedroom door so I grab it on my way down the hall.

  Showering quickly, I have to tell my cock Kenderly has other people that need her attention right now and not us. As painful as it is, I’ll be patient. I walked away before when she needed me the most.

  I was a boy.

  Now, I’m a man and I’m the kind of man that will stand strong through all the shit storms to give Kenie what I didn’t before.