A Silver Lining

by Anne Douglas

  ‘And you’re on the driving course now?’ asked May. ‘I’m sure you’re looking very well on it!’

  ‘Aye, you look grand,’ Josh agreed, ‘And so does Jinny – it’s only your poor old dad who looks his age these days, eh? Going downhill fast without my girls around me.’

  ‘Oh, Dad, what a thing to say!’ Serene May was actually frowning. ‘Especially when I’m always coming round!’

  ‘Och, that’s true, and I don’t know what I’d do without you, pet.’ Josh grasped her hand. ‘But I used to have you all, eh? All my girls together. Didn’t know how lucky I was.’

  ‘It’s only for the duration,’ Vi said easily. ‘Then we’ll be home again.’

  ‘And how long is the duration going to be?’ Josh demanded. ‘I think we’re in for years of war before we finish off Hitler, if we ever do. He’s won everything he’s taken on – except the Battle of Britain. I don’t see him giving in very easily.’

  ‘You’re not supposed to talk like that, Dad,’ Jinny told him, shaking her head. ‘Think victory, that’s the word. And he didn’t win the Battle of Britain, so that shows he can be defeated.’

  ‘That’s right,’ Vi agreed. ‘And in the meantime, we have to do what we can for the war effort, though I’m glad I’m not expected to do any fighting. In fact, I told the ATS selection folk that I wasn’t interested in doing anti-aircraft stuff – “Ack-Ack” as they call it – as shooting down planes was not for me, but when they offered me driving, like I say, I was thrilled. So, that’ll be me – army driver.’

  ‘Driving what?’ asked Josh. ‘Thae great army lorries you see thundering through Edinburgh?’

  ‘Oh, no, it’ll be ambulances. I’ll probably be attached to a military hospital, no idea where, but I’m delighted. It’s just what I wanted.’

  ‘That’s wonderful, Vi,’ Jinny told her, with May agreeing and Josh nodding his head.

  ‘Sounds grand, Vi, think I needn’t worry about you, then. But what do all the fellows think, having you women driving around the place, then?’

  ‘What fellows? They’re needed for active service. Nearly all the drivers I’ve met lately have been women, and damn good they are!’

  ‘So, you’re not meeting many men,’ May said thoughtfully, catching Jinny’s eye.

  But Vi only snorted her disapproval of the idea. ‘No men,’ she declared. ‘Or, at least, very few.’

  And May and Jinny, still exchanging glances, didn’t need to put their thoughts into words. Vi was the same dear old Vi. She hadn’t changed a bit.

  Of course, wartime Hogmanay was not the Hogmanay they all knew. In a city where you couldn’t show a light in the blackout without being in trouble with the air-raid wardens, there didn’t seem to be much point in trying to meet outside to see the New Year in, and the numbers of revellers were down, anyway, with so many men in the forces.

  People did still go out – some to pubs, some to take in the night, some to do their first-footing, arriving at doors with bits of coal and Christmas cake if there happened to be any left. The Hendries, however, decided to spend New Year’s Eve at home, where May joined them, with the plan of staying the night so that she needn’t go home in the dark, and Josh opened a bottle of port he’d been keeping for some time for their toasts.

  ‘Absent friends’ was first, and Jinny thought of Ross, though at the same time wondered, as ever, where Viktor might be, and May, of course, raised her glass to Allan.

  ‘Any news of leave for him?’ Jinny whispered. ‘I don’t really like to ask.’

  ‘Well, I daren’t even talk about it,’ May answered, her blue eyes very bright, ‘but in his last letter he said there was a chance that he might get back in the spring some time. Nothing’s sure, but it’s just so grand, being able to hope.’

  ‘Poor lad,’ Josh muttered. ‘Here, let’s have a top up and toast the New Year.’

  1941. They thought about it. After the long months they’d already endured, it was a temptation to hope that the year to come would bring an ending to the hostilities, but Josh had already made it plain how little faith he had in that, and the girls, in their hearts, had to agree with him.

  Still, there were their glasses ready and the toast to be made, so they made it.

  ‘To the New Year!’ they cried. May added, ‘May it bring peace, and everyone back home!’

  ‘Aye, bring us peace,’ Josh echoed, and they sipped their port, set down their glasses and hugged one another, smiling and kissing. But as the last stroke of Big Ben’s midnight chimes on the wireless died away, somehow they couldn’t bring themselves to say, as they’d always said in the past. ‘Happy New Year!’

  Sixty-One

  Although she had not been able to see Ross, Jinny felt better from having her leave. She was so very glad to have seen her family again – Josh, May and Vi, who was so soon to be embarking on her new life as a qualified ATS driver. There’d been friends to meet up with too and, of course, the staff at Crombie’s, where she’d visited everyone she knew – Mrs Arrow, still moaning about their present difficulties and her girls, so worked off their feet; Norah, still helping out as a baker; Mabel, still typing for Accounts and getting on rather better with Mr Lennox, but always nostalgic and sighing for the ‘old days’.

  ‘Oh, it’s not the same,” she told Jinny, who had asked her out for a sandwich lunch in the West End. ‘Not the same at all. Mr Lennox is all right, but Ross he is not, and Mr Crombie’s so depressed these days, not knowing what’s happened to his family.’

  ‘You mean his sister and her husband in Vienna?’ Jinny asked carefully.

  ‘Yes, Viktor’s parents.’ Mabel’s eyes slid away from Jinny’s. ‘He hasn’t heard from them at all, but I told him it wasn’t likely he would, seeing as they’re in an enemy country. How would they be able to get letters out to him? I mean, there’ll be no diplomatic help there now.’

  ‘I was thinking of asking him about them.’ Jinny looked down at her dry cheese roll. ‘But I didn’t want to upset him.’

  ‘Best not to say anything,’ Mabel agreed. ‘And I suppose you’ve no news of Viktor, either?’

  ‘No, no news at all. He couldn’t write to me and he could be anywhere with the German army – they’re in so many countries.’

  ‘Such a shame for you, dear.’ Mabel’s tone was sympathetic, her eyes sharp with curiosity. ‘At least you’ve got your work in the Pay Corps, though. I’m sure you’re a natural for that!’

  ‘Oh, yes, I might get a stripe one day,’ Jinny told her with a laugh. ‘Though Ross, of course, is an officer.’

  ‘You keep in touch with him, dear?’

  ‘Just a letter now and again,’ Jinny said smoothly. ‘How about another of those drinks they call coffee?’

  It was on her last day of leave, when she’d been trying without success to buy some tobacco for her father in Princes Street, that, of all people, she met Senga Brown pushing a pram in which a large baby was sleeping.

  ‘Senga, fancy meeting you!’ she cried, at which Senga stopped and gave a pleasant enough smile.

  ‘It’s me should be saying that to you, Jinny. I thought you were in the ATS, and here you are in Princes Street. So, where’s your uniform?’

  ‘I am in the ATS, but I’m on leave, going back tomorrow, so I’ll be wearing my uniform then, all right. I’ve just been looking for some tobacco for my dad, but there doesn’t seem to be any.’

  ‘Tell us something new – there’s never anything you want in the shops these days.’

  The two young women studied each other, privately deciding that the other looked well, and then Jinny looked in at the baby, a boy named Gordon, and the image, Jinny said, of his father, Terry Brown.

  ‘Look, he’s got the same ginger hair!’ she exclaimed, but Senga put her finger to her lips.

  ‘Ssh, he’s teething and only just gone off – I don’t want him to wake up before I see what Mrs Arrow’s got for me at Crombie’s today. Want to walk along?’

  ‘Mrs Arro
w?’ repeated Jinny, walking beside the pram. ‘I saw her the other day. What does she find for you, then?’

  Again, Senga put her finger to her lips. ‘Just one or two rolls, you ken, and a few buns. Saves me queuing.’

  ‘That’s grand. But are you managing all right, Senga, with Terry away? Do you know where he is?’

  ‘No details, but he’s in the Middle East somewhere. His letters are always being censored – great bits blocked out. But I’m doing OK. No worse than any other lassie with a husband in the forces. How about you?’ Senga’s voice was casual. ‘D’you ever hear from Viktor?’

  Sighing inwardly, Jinny shook her head. Did these people who asked after Viktor not realize it might be painful for her to admit she knew nothing of him? But perhaps she shouldn’t judge them; it was only natural they should be interested in a man who had once been a colleague. And, of course, her attachment to him was widely known and had, in Senga’s case, been upsetting. At least she was happily married now, even if her worries over Terry must be acute. It should come as no surprise that she might ask Jinny for news of Viktor.

  ‘I don’t know what’s happened to him,’ she admitted. ‘We’ve rather lost touch.’

  ‘Just as well, Jinny,’ Senga said with some satisfaction. ‘I mean, he is the enemy now, eh? It never would’ve worked out, would it? Once the war came?’

  ‘Perhaps not.’

  ‘And you’ve no’ found someone else?’

  Preferring not to answer, Jinny shook her head again. ‘Here’s Crombie’s,’ she said brightly. ‘Hope you have some luck with the rolls and buns, Senga. It’s been nice seeing you.’

  Remembering the custom of giving babies money, she opened her bag and took out two half-crowns, which she laid on the baby’s pram cover.

  ‘For his money box, Senga. Sorry I didn’t get it to him earlier.’

  ‘Ah, that’s nice of you,’ Senga said, smiling. ‘It was very nice to meet you, too, Jinny. Take care, then, and good luck!’

  ‘Remember me to Terry!’ Jinny cried and, after watching Senga push her pram into the shop, to the annoyance of the queue that had formed some time ago, she turned to make her way back home.

  All the talk of Viktor had been unsettling. She didn’t want to dwell on her past love for him and her lack of knowing whether he was alive or dead. Best think about her family and how she must soon say goodbye to them again, and then, maybe, to wonder if there might be a letter from Ross waiting for her when she returned from leave. Yes, that was something cheerful to think about – a ray of sunshine on this dark January day.

  Sixty-Two

  She was in luck – there was indeed a letter from Ross waiting when Jinny returned to the pay office, and it contained hope of news to come of his own leave. Couldn’t go into details, he wrote, but it looked promising for April.

  April? Jinny’s rising spirits fell. As it was now only January, April seemed an age away, but after a little thought she decided it was just as well he wasn’t coming any earlier, for there would be no way she could get any more leave herself before some time had elapsed. Even April would be difficult, but she’d try for it anyway. All she could do now was write back to Ross as soon as she could, giving him news of her time back in Edinburgh, and then get on with her daily routine. It was what most people were doing, anyway, though Pauline had seemed particularly starry-eyed since Christmas.

  ‘Things going well with Chris?’ Jinny asked during one coffee break, and Pauline’s smile was wide.

  ‘Oh, yes! We really do hit it off well. It’s just so lovely being with him. I didn’t really want to go home for Christmas, though of course I enjoyed it, and Mum and Dad are always so keen to see me, anyway.’

  ‘And you were better off than me,’ Josie said, lighting a cigarette. ‘I never even got Christmas leave, did I? Roll on my week away in February.’

  ‘No hope of seeing your chap?’ the others asked.

  ‘Not a snowball’s.’ Josie shrugged. ‘All you can do is put up with it.’

  As they left the canteen, she moved closer to Jinny, letting Pauline go ahead.

  ‘Listen, have you heard that Enid and Shirley are being posted?’

  ‘No, where?’

  ‘Salisbury, but the point is they’re lance corporals, right? And they’re being made up to corporal and leaving, which means there’ll be vacancies for us.’

  ‘For a stripe?’ Jinny’s eyes shone. ‘I wouldn’t mind getting promotion, but Sarge hasn’t said a word … Why should it be us?’

  ‘Oh, she’s always saying we work well and should be going up the ladder – things like that.’ Josie tapped Jinny’s shoulder. ‘We can but wait and see, but I reckon things look hopeful. Might cheer you up a bit, eh?’

  ‘Who says I need cheering up?’

  ‘You’ve looked a bit down since you came back. I wondered if it might be something to do with your ex-boss. OK, I’m being nosey again, but it might help to talk about it. I mean, is he important, or isn’t he?’

  ‘Honestly, Josie!’ Jinny hesitated. ‘All right, he’s important, but there’s nothing settled. It’s all a bit up in the air.’

  ‘He’s probably worrying about the war. Some guys think it’s not fair to ask girls to make commitments when … well, you know what might happen.’

  ‘He’s only in the Isle of Wight,’ Jinny said, paling a little. ‘And I don’t even know exactly how I feel myself.’

  ‘Oh, I think you do,’ said Josie, nodding her head. ‘And remember, he won’t be staying in the Isle of Wight.’

  Which was what Ross had once said himself, Jinny reflected, returning to her desk to pay more bills for army requisitions and prepare the invoice copies. It was true that he would not be staying in the Isle of Wight, and where he went next was anybody’s guess – except that it would not be anywhere safe. Oh, Josie – why did she have to stir things up?

  But of course, she hadn’t. Anything she’d made Jinny say was just what she thought, anyway. Yes, Ross was important, and no, Jinny wasn’t exactly sure how she felt. Or was that not exactly true? She waited for his letters and wanted to see him … Perhaps it was she who was afraid of commitment, then? Was it because of her change of heart over Viktor? As she knew so well, though, Ross wasn’t Viktor …

  Looking up, her eyes a little glazed, she found Sergeant Abbott’s gaze fixed on her thoughtfully as she stood in the office doorway, and smiled uncertainly – at which the sergeant moved away.

  Oh, dear, had she been found daydreaming at her desk? No hope of her stripe, then. But what on earth did a stripe matter, the way things were? Nothing, really. It would just be nice to have, that was all, as a reassurance that she was doing well, doing her bit, as the saying went. But she decided to put it out of her mind and concentrate on the work in hand, which she wanted to get right, stripe or no stripe.

  Only a few weeks later, when wintry January had melted into dreary February, both she and Josie were awarded their stripes and took satisfaction in telling their families and the men in their lives.

  ‘Of course, my Rickie’s already a sergeant,’ Josie said with a laugh, ‘so you might think he wouldn’t be impressed with my one stripe, but he’s been really sweet about it. Wrote straight back when he got my letter, and that’s not like him.’

  ‘Ross wrote straight back, too,’ Jinny told her, ‘and guess what – he’s got his second pip! He’s a lieutenant now, but he was really nice about my stripe.’

  ‘A stripe’s a stripe, and anything that makes the men realize we’re not playing at soldiers has to be good. Any news of a posting for Ross, by the way?’

  ‘Not any that he’s given me, but I have the feeling there’s something in the wind that he’s not telling me about.’

  ‘Probably knows the censor would black it out, anyway, if there’s something you’d really like to know.’

  ‘All I’m really waiting for is news of his leave. Seems so long, Josie, since I last saw him.’

  ‘And you say you’re not sure of
how you feel,’ said Josie with a smile.

  February became March and there was still no news of when Jinny and Ross might meet, but at least there was good news from Vi, who had completed her driving course with flying colours and was now settling into a posting with a military hospital in Devonshire.

  ‘I’m really enjoying this,’ she wrote to Jinny. ‘Driving around narrow little roads, collecting patients and doctors, filling in on any other errands that crop up. Sometimes I have to go quite far afield and it’s always a worry about petrol, but up to now everything’s been OK. I really feel I’ve got the job I wanted – not actually killing anybody, but contributing to the war effort. Hope that doesn’t sound too weedy?’

  ‘Not weedy at all,’ Jinny had written back. ‘You’re doing a grand, necessary job and I’m proud of you!’

  Of course, she knew that Vi would only say, ‘Enough of that sort of talk!’ But it was true what she’d written – she was proud of her sister, who’d volunteered for a difficult job, which could only get worse if situations arose when casualties were high. In a way, she half-wished she could do something the same herself, for there was no doubt that she was very safe and comfortable where she was. But she knew she was good at her job and it was certainly one that had to be done; she tried not to do too much soul-searching over it. Just keep going, day after day, and hope the time would come when she and Ross would meet again.

  But when she finally received his letter telling her he was coming and would be in Edinburgh by the end of April, she could scarcely believe it. Even when she was told she could only have a weekend pass instead of leave, her spirits remained high, and when the time came to travel up to Edinburgh she felt she was moving there on billowing clouds. They supported her until they were replaced by Ross’s passionate hug upon greeting her on Friday evening at Waverley Station.

  Sixty-Three

  ‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ Jinny said breathlessly. ‘I can’t believe it’s really you!’