Sublime Wreckage

by Charlene Zapata

  Everything alright? You don't look so good. Are you sick?

  Great. He noticed. Just one more person I have to lie to. This sucks.

  I'm fine. Just female stuff. See you after practice.

  I really hate that I just shared that information with him but I've learned one thing about lying. You tell everyone the same lie, you stick with it. When you start changing your story people get suspicious. That's at least one lesson my mother has inadvertently taught me.

  My coach doesn't ask a single question as soon as I mention the word cramps. I decide to get some homework done while I wait for practice to be over. I can't seem to stop thinking about the look on Vincent's face. It wasn't pity. I would know that look anywhere. After I lost my father I got that look all the time. And I hated it. I have never wanted pity from anyone. It made me feel weak and small. But that's not the look Vincent had. It seemed more like anger. I don't know him well enough yet to decipher his facial expressions but I got the distinct impression he was trying to hide just how furious he was.

  After staring blankly at my calculus homework for a solid ten minutes I decide to put it away. I need to call my Grandfather. His birthday is in a couple of weeks and I really want to celebrate with him. He is a retired air force colonel so he doesn't like any mushy business. It's going to take some convincing to let me spend his birthday with him but I can handle a challenge.

  "Hello?"

  "Hi Grandpa. It's Maggie."

  "Oh Maggie! Hello! How are you? How is school going so far?"

  "It's going pretty good. I have a friend who is helping me with my calculus and chemistry."

  "You know if you ever need help with your school work you can always call me."

  He might not like all the mushy talk but that man has always been there for me. I think he would let me live with him if I asked. But I can't put that burden on his shoulders. Especially after seeing the strain it put on him to care for my Grandmother. Caring for her full time seemed to age him at least ten years overnight. She died about seven years ago from lung cancer. I loved her so much. She would always hold my hands, rubbing them softly while telling me how much they reminded her of my father's hands. I treasured that she always compared me to my father and reminded me of what a wonderful man he was. I didn't used to be very close to my Grandfather, not until it was just the two of us left. After losing his wife he became increasingly interested in my life.

  "Thanks Grandpa. I appreciate the offer. Listen, I wanted to come visit you in a couple of weeks. Would you mind coming to pick me up?"

  "Of course not Maggie. I would love to see you. When were you thinking?"

  "Ummm..." Here comes the tricky part. "I don't know, maybe around the middle of September? Like the second weekend?" I said all of this while trying to sound as casual as possible.

  "Sure. I think that should work. I can pick you up on Saturday morning. I haven't been driving at night lately so we would have to head back Sunday afternoon."

  "Is everything okay?"

  "Yeah, I just need to be more careful now that I'm getting older."

  "Ok. As long as you are alright. I will let mom know we made plans. See you in two weeks!"

  "Bye Maggie."

  He never stays on the phone longer than absolutely necessary. He doesn't do long phone conversations. Now get him in person and he will talk your ear off! I soak up each and every minute I can with him. I know what it's like to think you have all the time in the world only to have it slip through your fingers. I'm so excited that he didn't seem to remember that is his birthday weekend. He would never let me buy him a single item so I usually make him something. I will have to rack my brain for something new.

  As I look up after putting my phone away I notice practice is over. I grab my stuff and head to the bus. Vincent should be waiting for me at the school. I wish I could be more excited about seeing him but the idea of getting into his low car is consuming all my thoughts. That is going to hurt. Like a lot.

  We pull up to the school and sure enough Vincent is waiting in his car. I stroll over, take a deep breath and ease my way into the seat as gently as I can without bringing too much attention to my slow movements.

  "How was practice?"

  "Well hello to you too! It was fine. Coach let me sit out today." He laughs after I say hello realizing that he didn't even say hi before asking me a question. Then his look turns serious after hearing that I didn't participate in practice.

  "Do you think you should go to work? I mean if you are feeling that bad?"

  "I'll survive. It's not that bad. So how was your day?" I have to change the subject. I don't want the focus on my life right now.

  "Same old same old. I cut about eight yards today. I'm thinking of adding more landscape options to my packages. You know, like planting trees, shrubs, or even doing some flower bed work. What do you think?"

  He is actually asking my opinion. "I think that's a great idea. Expanding your business is really smart. If you are good at that sort of thing I say go for it. I don't have a green thumb anywhere in my body. I kill everything!" Vincent laughs loudly at my honesty.

  "I'm sure I could teach you a thing or two." He turns to me with a giant smirk on his face. I can feel my face lifting into a smile. That's when I notice his mouth. Like really notice. He has the fullest lips I have ever seen on a guy. His top lip is just slightly smaller than his bottom lip. I can't help but wonder what it would be like to taste those glorious lips. Just as my eyes lift back to his, he turns back to the road. I can see a small smile rising on the side of his face. He totally caught me looking at his mouth. Great. Way to be smooth Maggie.

  Before I know it we are at the video store. I hate that I can't have more time with him. Maybe I can get off a little early tonight so we have a little more time to talk. I wish I had the energy to go for a run tonight but after getting very little sleep I just can't. My body also won't allow it given the constant ache of my rib cage. I exhale a deep breath bracing myself for the effort involved in getting out of his car.

  "Thanks for the ride again. I really appreciate it."

  "Maggie, you don't have to thank me every day. I am happy to help you out. Especially when you aren't feeling good. I will be here to pick you up tonight if that's alright?"

  "Sure. I would like that. And there is nothing wrong with having good manners. So thank you, Slick." I give him a little wink and get slowly out of the car. Now I have to bend to get my bag. Vincent must have sensed how painful that would be for me because he picked up my bag handing it directly to me.

  The night is going by slowly. I think it's mostly because I'm in so much pain. I was able to put another ice pack on my rib during my break but it didn't seem to help much. I am praying I can take some medicine when I get home. It's about 9:30 when the door chimes. I look up just in time to see my mother stroll into the store. My stomach sinks to the floor as my mouth instantly dries up. Crap. Crap, crap, crap. What does she want? She almost never comes in here. If she wants something she usually just tells me and I bring it home for her.

  "Hey Mags. I wanted to get some movies for tonight, then I can take you home. That way you don't have to walk or beg someone else for a ride."

  "That's very thoughtful of you. Thanks. You can look around while I finish up. I still have a few things to do before I can leave."

  "Whatever, just don't take forever. I'm not going to wait all night for you." As soon as the words leave her mouth I see the scowl on her face. She is still pissed about something. I just don't know what the hell it is. I hope this isn't going to be a repeat of last night. My body is already hurting enough. I quickly pull my phone out to text Vincent.

  My mom showed up to give me a ride. Sorry. See you tomorrow?

  Sure. No problem. See you tomorrow.

  His response is almost instant. As if he was waiting for me to text him. Well, that's just silly. Why would he be waiting to hear from me? The thought does put a small smile on my face.

  My boss usually
lets us lock the doors at 9:30 as long as we don't have customers so we can get started on the closing duties. But since my mother is in the store we stay open until close to 10:00. She finally makes her way up to the counter with a stack of movies that would last a normal person several weeks. I get movies for free since I work here and believe me she takes full advantage.

  "Hurry up and finish so we can go clean my car out." Well that explains it. She wants me to do her grunt work. She doesn't lift a finger for herself especially if she can get me to do it. And by "we" she totally means me. I finish up as quickly as possible then head out to her car. I clench my teeth as hard as I can while sucking in a sharp breath. I try to never let her see how much pain, physical or emotional, she has caused me. It takes everything I have not to scream in her face when I lower myself into the car. She doesn't talk to me the entire time we are confined in this small space together. When we get to the carwash place (it's all self-wash in our town so it's open all night) she stays in the car while I clean out the trash and wash the outside. It's excruciatingly painful to my ribcage with all of the reaching and stretching but this is exactly what she wants. For me to suffer. There isn't a doubt in my mind that she did this on purpose. She knew I would be hurting today so she probably sat around all day stewing, coming up with a way to inflict more pain without exerting any energy herself. Plus she gets a nice clean car out of the deal.

  We finally make it home by 11:00. I really need to ice my side but now she actually wants me to sit up and watch one of the movies she rented. She has zero concern for my schooling. According to her it's a big waste of time. Why should she care if I can't keep my eyes open during class tomorrow? I really don't want to set her off but I just can't stay awake any longer. It will only piss her off more if I fall asleep during the movie. I take my chances.

  "Mom, I'm really tired. Do you mind if I just go to bed? I'm off tomorrow and can watch as many movies as you want." I realize that I'm holding my breath waiting for her reaction. My eyes are already starting to burn from the lack of sleep. I silently plead for her to just let me go to bed. After what seems like an eternity she responds.

  "Fine. Go to bed. I'm done looking at you anyway. You better be home tomorrow right after practice." Oh thank God! I can't believe she let me off the hook. She must have thought she tortured me enough for one day.

  I dart down the hall to the bathroom. Relief floods my body as I open the medicine cabinet. I have never been so happy to see ibuprofen in my life. I quickly pop three pills in my mouth followed by some water from the bathroom sink. I finish getting ready for bed then head into my room. I collapse onto my soft, comfy bed. But before I doze off I take my phone out.

  I am home safe and sound. Didn't want to keep you up all night worrying :-) See you tomorrow.

  I don't know why but I wanted him to know I was thinking about him. I really am bummed that we didn't get to spend more time together today. Why am I so bummed? I really have to be careful with this guy. I can't get too invested. It could wreck everything.

  Chapter Eight

  Waking up to a silent house is priceless. I don't think people value silence the same way I do. Silence means peace, at least for me anyway. I was so exhausted last night that I totally forgot about icing my side. I take a deep breath while attempting to sit up straight. It actually doesn't hurt as bad today. Maybe I will be able to function without gut wrenching pain shooting up and down my body. That would be nice. As I get ready for school I remember that I don't have work today. Which means I won't get to ride with Vince. That turns my smile upside down. What am I, a kindergartener? Yet another reason I don't like mornings, my brain doesn't function right. I didn't get to spend any time with him last night and now nothing today. Really? This sucks. It also sucks that I seem to care so much already about spending time with a guy I barely know. Maybe this is for the best. Not spending all my free time with Vincent Moreno.

  I get ready with less effort today as my body starts to heal. That's the great thing about the human body. We can recover from just about anything. Amanda is waiting for me with a great big goofy grin on her face. Great. More grilling about my new friend.

  "Good morning!" Amanda beams at me like I'm some kind of mythical creature about to disappear before her very eyes.

  "Hi. And stop looking at me like that. It's creeping me out."

  "So tell me more. I want to know every detail of the time you spent with bad boy Vincent Moreno."

  "Well, for starters he isn't a bad guy. He is actually one of the nicest guys I've met. And we are JUST FRIENDS! So there isn't much to tell. He gave me a ride to work but then my mom showed up out of the blue to take me home so I had to text him not to come."

  "You know I'm not a relationship expert but you seem bummed that you didn't get to see him last night."

  "Well, I guess I kind of am. You know I don't have many friends so it would be nice to add someone else to my list of trusted confidants." I chomp down on my apple while giving a small chuckle.

  "Friend? Umm, yeah okay Maggie. If you say so."

  "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Why am I getting so defensive lately?

  "I just haven't seen you light up like this about a guy since Sam. That's all. Don't get your panties in a bunch woman." I have to laugh at her comment. That breaks the tension that was slowly building between us. We talk about everything else going on lately and how much she hates going to the shop after school. She says that she can't get a good view of the hunky guys from the position of the front desk so it's pretty useless even trying. She is bored out of her mind. I can't say I blame her. It doesn't sound very glamorous.

  By lunch time I'm starving as usual. That apple did absolutely nothing for my appetite. I didn't eat dinner last night because I usually stop at the convenience store on my walk to work to pick up a sandwich. Since I was with Vince I didn't even think to ask him to stop. Besides, I don't seem to think straight when I'm around him. By the time I got home last night I just wanted sleep. Food was last on my list for a change. Amanda is still hanging on every word hot guy #1 is saying and hot guy #2 is ignoring me completely. I rarely learn the name of the guy Amanda is dating since it usually doesn't last. She tends to bore easily. I can't remember the last time she was dumped by a guy. She is usually the one doing the dumping.

  The rest of the day goes by fairly quickly. I keep thinking about Vince and how I have to break it to him that I don't have to work tonight so I don't need a ride. As I step outside in the warm summer air I see him waiting for me by the bus. I smile brightly as we both start heading toward one another. It's so weird to feel such a connection to another human being so quickly. I feel so drawn to him. It's kind of disturbing.

  "Hi." That's it. That's all I can come up with to say. I'm just so damn giddy about seeing him. It seems like forever even though it was just 24 hours ago. God I'm pathetic. But then he does something amazing.

  "Hi." He grins so big you would think he just won the freaking lottery. We are standing there smiling at each other, probably looking like two idiots who don't remember how to move their mouths.

  "How are you? Did your night go okay?"

  I see so much concern in his eyes. I don't want him to worry about me. I have always been fine and I will always be fine. "I'm good. I got plenty of rest so I'm feeling much better. But I forgot to mention that I don't have to work tonight so I don't need a ride."

  I see his face fall at my admission. And then his expression seems to change as if he is considering something. "Does that mean we can hang out after you get done with practice?"

  "I would really love too but my mom wants me home right after. We are supposed to watch movies together tonight. But maybe you could pick me up and drive me to the park at the end of my street. I mean if you want to talk a little more. I know it isn't much but it's all the time I seem to have right now."

  "That sounds good to me. I will take whatever time you can offer. See you in an hour." I stand there watching him walk away with a
smile etching its way up my face.

  That went well. At least I think it did. He seemed happy to see me. I'm over the moon that he agreed to pick me back up. I know it isn't a lot of time but at least it will give us a few minutes to chat. I really do relish the thought of talking with him. He doesn't make me feel worthless, stupid or insignificant. I could really use a positive person in my life.

  Just like clockwork Vince is waiting for me when I get off the bus. I could get used to this for sure. Which is a scary thought. I don't like relying on anyone but myself. I have to keep reminding myself to be careful.

  "Thanks for agreeing to come back to pick me up. I know I don't live that far from the school. It was probably a pain for you to come all the way back up here for me. I shouldn't have asked you to do that. Sorry."

  "Please stop. Maggie, if I didn't want to see you I would have told you no. You didn't do anything wrong so don't apologize. Look at me." I turn my head and see the passion in his eyes. "I don't know what is going on between us but I'm happy to help you. If that means I get to spend time with you that is just an added bonus. You are one of the sweetest girls I have met and I would hate to lose our friendship when I'm just getting to know you."

  "I want to get to know you too. Thanks for the pep talk Slick. I needed it." He gives a little smirk at my comment. I think I amuse him. Maybe that's why he likes being around me so much. He finds me utterly hilarious.