Black Out

by Lila Rose

  Climbing off my Harley, I looked to Memphis. “Christ, what the fuck are we walking into?” he growled.

  Shaking my head, I said, “I don’t know, man, but it ain’t gonna make us happy.”

  “Agreed. Let’s get it over with then.”

  With our helmets laid on our Harleys, we walked across the paved drive to the front door. I swiftly pulled the door open and the scent of hooch, pussy, sweat and beer hit our noses. I fought the urge to dry-heave; the place fuckin’ stunk.

  “Shit, when was the last time they cleaned this joint?” Memphis complained as we stalked down the hall to the main party area. Once we were through, my eyes widened. The floor, bar, couches…dammed everywhere was littered with bikers and sluts.

  “What the fuck did they do,” I asked Memphis, “have a super-orgy or somethin’?”

  “Christ if I know,” he growled.

  Sure, us bikers like to party, but we like to keep a clean ship to do so. The things going on in that place were not how we liked things to run. It wouldn’t surprise me if we found more illegal shit the Hawks crew were supposed to steer clear of.

  With amusement, I watched as Memphis, grumbling under his breath, stomped over to the bar, picked some dude up by the back of his tee and then threw him over the other side.

  “Whoa, man. What the fuck?” the biker complained as he staggered to his feet.

  I came up beside Memphis and ordered with a snarl, “Get your shithead of a president out here now.”

  The guy looked from Memphis to me, and as soon as his eyes landed on my club’s vest, they widened. Memphis wasn’t wearing his, but I had mine to prove a point, and the point had been made by the panicked look in the idiot’s eyes. He knew I was a part of the original Hawks charter; he also would have noticed the three Hawks embedded into my top left shoulder of the vest, meaning I was third in command.

  “S-sure, sure, no worries. I’ll go find him.” He bolted off quickly.

  Memphis turned to the room and shouted, “Wake the fuck up, you dickheads, and clear this place out. Now!”

  People were smart enough to listen and stirred back to life. I pulled my phone out and called Talon. He answered with, “Talk.”

  “Brother, this place is trashed.”

  “Fuck,” he hissed. “You know what to do, and if he doesn’t comply, deal. Yeah?”

  Chuckling, I replied with, “Yeah,” and snapped my phone shut. Talon meant if Motley wasn’t ready to pull his head outta his arse, then he was gone from the club. I smiled at Memphis, who grinned in return. We were happy to be the ones to convey Talon’s message, one way or another.

  Motley took the hard way. Stupid dick. I shook my head as I washed his blood from my hands. He didn’t want to run his club the way Talon saw fit; he wanted to trade women and drugs. In the end, he was cut from the charter, and Talon would have to find a new prez. Memphis warned the other members if they didn’t like the way Talon ruled, then their arses were gone, as well. Since no one left when the bloodied Motley was kicked out, Memphis sent them to work, cleaning the site up.

  While that was happenin’, I took Memphis to my mum’s. We’d have to stay a couple of extra days to make sure Motley didn’t try any shit and the businesses which ran out of the Hawks charter in Caroline Springs weren’t under any threat.

  We stopped out front of the house I bought my family three years before. It was a five-bedroom, three-bathroom brick joint, with enough room for when I visited. Memphis followed me to the door silently. Without knocking, I walked in and called, “I’m home.” Heavy footsteps sounded from within the house, and then Jason was barrelling down the hall.

  “Blue!” he yelled. “Blue’s here. Mum, Adele, Blue’s here.” He came to a stop in front of me and smiled big.

  I held out my arms and waited for my usual hug, and waited some more. “What, you too old to hug your bro now?” I asked.

  “No, yes. I’m nearly eighteen, Blue.”

  I chuckled. “I know, little man. Doesn’t mean you can’t hug me.” I pulled him into a tight embrace.

  “You can’t call me little anymore,” he said against my chest. He was right; my brother had shot up. “Hey,” he said and pulled out of the hug. “Surprise.”

  “What do you mean? And listen, this is my mate, Memphis. He’s gonna stay a couple of nights with me.” I pointed over my shoulder to the silent man taking it all in. I didn’t give a shit I was a biker who showed my family love in front of another man, and by the small smile upon Memphis’ face, he didn’t either.

  “Are you gay now?” Jason asked. Memphis barked out a laugh, while I stood gaped like a fuckin’ fish outta water.

  “What? No, fuck no.”

  “Watch your mouth, boy,” Adele called from down the end of the hall where the kitchen was.

  “Oh,” Jason said. “Okay, but come see the surprise.

  You’re gonna love it.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down the hall. I tried to stop as we passed the sitting room, where I knew my mum would be. She hardly left that room, just sat in there gazing out the window or reading a book. However, when I looked, she wasn’t there.

  “Hold up, bro. Where’s Mum?”

  “That’s the surprise.” He grinned over his shoulder and tugged on my wrist more, so I’d hurry after him down the hall. We reached the kitchen, and Jason let go and walked off to the huge dining table. I entered and went straight to Adele, who was standing at the long, granite-top bench, peeling potatoes. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her.

  “How’s my old lady?” I asked and kissed her cheek.

  “Get your filthy hands off me, boy. I don’t know where they’ve been.” She smiled up at me.

  “Where’s Mum?” I asked, and her smile widened. She gestured with her head to the table off to the left. I looked over and spotted my mum sitting with tears in her eyes, her hands clenched on the table. I stood tall and stiffened. “Mum?” For some reason, it came out as a question. The person at the table looked like my mum, only the woman at the table had life in her eyes.

  She nodded. “Hello, my boy.”

  Holy shit. Holy fuckin’ shit. A shiver ran over my body, my heart jumped to my throat and I had to clench my jaw to stop the sudden emotions running through me.

  Memphis cleared his throat, and then said, “I’ll, uh, go get our shit.” I nodded, but didn’t look to see if he’d gone. My eyes were still on my mum.

  “How? What…when?” I gulped. Christ, fuckin’ Christ. I was a kick-arse biker, yet I was speechless, stunned. “Fuck,” I hissed.

  “Language,” Adele snapped. “Don’t just stand there, boy; give your momma a hug.”

  I looked at Adele and she nodded with a stern gaze. Somehow, it jumpstarted me and I moved my lead-filled legs. They carried me the distance to get to my mum. She shifted in her seat, her eyes raking over me in a motherly fashion. I stopped in front of her and knelt as her hand reached out to my face and cupped my cheek. I watched her face as tears spilled over and her breath caught before she said, “I’m sorry, my boy. I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough.”

  I shook my head. I did not cry; men like me did not cry. But fuck, I felt like it. “No. No one could have been with what you went through,” I told her. “How?” I asked again.

  “The right medication helped, as well as a new doctor.”

  She smiled. “You’re a handsome young man.” She seemed proud, but she hardly knew me. “We—”

  “He’s not gay,” Jason yelled from the other side of the table. “He told me, Mum.”

  Mum laughed. “That’s good to know, though it wouldn’t change the love I have for you.” She looked to Jason. “For both of you. What I was going to say…” she started, only to pause and hug me. “We have a lot to catch up on.”

  “Yeah, we do.” I grinned as I hugged her tightly.

  “I might turn gay,” Jason announced.

  Mum and I pulled apart, and I asked, “What? Why?”

  “Girls suck.”


  I shook my head as I got from my knees to sit in the chair next to Mum. I grabbed her hand and held it. “How’s that, bro?”

  He rolled his eyes. “They keep trying to kiss me.”

  I burst out laughing. “That’s a good thing,” I said and looked to Mum, still shocked as shit she was there…normal, and sitting next to me.

  Beautiful life was back in her eyes.

  “Not when I don’t want to kiss them.”

  Adele sighed. I looked over to her and watched the last second of her wiping her eyes. She then pointed a finger at me. “I was afraid of this, you being his brother and good-looking. It had to make him good-looking too, and now all the girls want to stick their tongue in his mouth.”

  We all laughed, even Jason, until he sobered and said, “I’m waiting for the right girl.”

  “Have you met her, honey?” Mum asked him. He blushed, which meant he thought he had. Damn, even my brother was finding the right one for him.

  “Maybe,” he mumbled.

  “As long as she makes you happy.”

  He grinned. “She will. She’s smart, like me.”

  I chuckled. “Good. I better go and tell Memphis it’s good to come back in. You ladies don’t mind him staying?”

  “No,” Mum smiled up at me as I stood. “I don’t mind anything these days. It will be good to know a friend of yours.”

  Nodding, I bent over and kissed her cheek. “It’ll be good to catch up.”

  She rubbed her hand over my club’s vest. “It will be. I’d like to know everything.”

  “Deal.”

  The phone rang and rang. Panic started to overwhelm me. What would I do if he didn’t answer? What did Amy mean by ‘a scare’? Who was she talking to? My hands shook as both held the phone to my ear.

  “Yellow?” Julian answered sleepily.

  “J-Julian,” I stuttered. I was cold, so cold. I felt for my bed and sat down, bringing the blanket around my shoulders.

  “Clary, honey, what’s wrong?” I could hear him shift in his bed. I heard a male voice asking him what was going on.

  “M-my sister,” I whispered. “S-she…I need to leave. Please, please help me. I don’t know when it will happen, what she’s planning on doing. I have to get out of here.” Still with my warm blanket surrounding me, I felt cold to the bone. My body shook without signs of relenting anytime soon. I had no idea if I was going into shock.

  “Clarinda, I’m coming. Don’t worry; I’m coming. Do you know your address?”

  I rattled off my address, and then added, “Julian, y-you have to bring help. She…she’ll fight you for me to stay.”

  “Why?” he asked. “No! Don’t tell me yet, buttercup. I’m coming and I’ll bring help. We’ll sort everything out. I promise. Do you want to stay on the line with me until I can get to you?”

  Blinking back tears of relief, I told him, “No, I better get ready for when you get here.”

  “Okay, Clary, okay. See you soon, and be careful, honey,” he said softly. Before he hung up, I heard him say, “Mattie, baby, get the hell out of bed and ring Talon.”

  I didn’t know how long it would take for Julian to arrive but I wanted to be ready, so I packed what I could into suitcases I knew were in my walk-in closet. It was hard to tell what I packed, really; I just grabbed anything my hands fell on from my drawers and wardrobe.

  I was sure Amy would come running into my room after I tripped and fell a few times over items I must have dropped. However, she didn’t.

  It was hard being mostly blind on a normal days. It was worse when I was in a panicked hurry.

  At least the packing kept my mind somewhat occupied. But then I heard loud banging on the front door, causing me to jump. With shaking hands, I felt for my bed and the hooded jumper I had placed there earlier. I quickly pulled it over my head as more banging sounded.

  “Hang on, Jesus!” my sister yelled from the front of the house, not from my way, where her bedroom was. She must have been in the kitchen. What was she doing up so late? Organising my demise?

  I walked as fast as I could out of my door and down the hall, my hands gliding over the walls in my hurried pace. As I entered the lounge, I heard Amy bark, “Who the fuck are you?”

  “I’m after Clarinda,” a deep voice growled.

  “I-I’m here,” I said.

  “Clary,” Julian’s voice rang out.

  “What the hell are you doing here, fag? What’s going on?”

  “You need to keep your mouth shut and nothing will fuckin’ happen to you. Move back,” the man ordered.

  I watched her outline move a step back, and in walked two slimmer forms. They both headed my way. “Buttercup,” Julian said. He took my hand in his and placed it in another. “This is my fella, Mattie. We’re going to get you out of here.”

  “You’re not taking her anywhere,” Amy yelled, and a scuffle started in front of us. Mattie, with his hand in mine, moved us back a step. “Get off me. Get off me!” Amy screamed.

  “Calm the fuck down then. Griz, get Clary’s shit. Mattie, you and Julian get her out to the car. Julian stays with her, and you come back to help Griz.”

  “Got it, Boss Man,” Julian said and started us forward toward the door.

  “Rinda…Rinny, what are you doing? Why are you going? You’re my sister. Why are you doing this, bringing them into our home?”

  “Still,” the boss man warned, obviously to my sister.

  Letting go of the men beside me, I turned to where my sister’s voice had come from. The outline I saw was that of another man pinning her to the floor.

  “I thought you were my sister too, but no sister uses them for money. Amy, you were somehow going to scare me into staying? Had you done it before?” I gasped. Of course she had; every time I asked about finding a place of my own. “Oh, God, you have…th-that man the other week? The one who attacked me? Did you get him to do it?”

  “What? No, I would never do that.”

  Lies. What else had she been lying about?

  Turning my back on her, I reached my hands out. Two men I hardly knew were there, ready to take them. To take me away from the nightmare. To take me away from my only family. To safety. How could it be that people I hardly knew were ready to do anything for me, but the one person who should have, didn’t?

  As soon as I was in an unfamiliar car and Julian hugged me to him, a tidal wave of emotions came crashing down. Julian held me tightly as I tried to find my way out of the water. Though, I didn’t know how long it would take me.

  While I drowned, I was brought to Julian and Mattie’s house. Which—Mattie told me as we walked through the front door—used to be his sister’s house, before Talon, a.k.a Boss Man, moved her in with him. We sat on the couch together, my tears still streaming down my face. I felt sad, humiliated, angry and regretful, and still the list could keep going. I didn’t know what I was going to do, where I could go from there. I only knew I wanted…needed to get out of my sister’s house.

  I had no idea if I should have left. I wasn’t sure, though maybe I should have dealt with it on my own, instead of bringing others into my business. Everything was just so hard, confusing. I wasn’t ready to face what the night had brought me.

  “Now, Clary, I know you must be going through a lot. Try not to think about it too much now. You need rest, and you can stay here with us for as long as you want. We have two spare rooms,” Mattie informed me.

  “He’s right, buttercup. I’ve just placed your things in one of the rooms, and you can stay here for as long as you need to.”

  “Maybe,” I jumped at the new deep, gruff voice, “she should stay at the compound until whatever this is blows over.”

  “Griz has a point,” Mattie said.

  Griz? What kind of name was that? For some reason, it had me thinking of Blue and his strange name.

  BOOM!

  I gripped Mattie as the house shook from some type of explosion out front.

  “What the fuck?” Talon growled
. “Get her to your room. Stay there until further notice,” he barked. I was lifted off the couch into someone’s slimmer arms as I heard Talon say, “Griz, round up the boys. Let’s go.” The next thing I heard was the front door being slammed shut.

  I was sure it was Mattie who had me, and it was confirmed when he said, “Julian, go lock the front door and run back here.” He placed me on a bed. I thought I’d never be as scared as I was at my sister’s house, but I was wrong; this was worse. I had no idea what was happening. None of us did. Mattie sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “It’s going to be okay. Talon’s the president of a motorcycle club, and he’s got guys who will help him.” He took a breath and yelled, “Julian?”

  “I’m here. I’m here.” Another door closed, and I assumed it was the one to the bedroom.

  CRASH!

  Mattie pulled me to the floor and Julian fell on top of us, whispering, “Shit, they’ve blown out our window.”

  “Get up. Get the fuck up. The girl comes with us,” a harsh voice barked.

  I felt Julian’s weight disappear, and then Mattie slowly got off my back. Shadows surrounded me. I knew the closest ones were Mattie and Julian, but the other two I didn’t.

  “You can’t take her,” Mattie said, his voice shaking slightly. I grabbed his hand. One shadow came at us and hit Mattie in the face, making him fall back. With my hand still in his, I fell on top of him.

  “No, please. Please, leave them alone,” I begged.

  “Clary, no,” Julian uttered.

  Nothing bothered me but the thought of them getting hurt on my account. I let go of Mattie and shakily got to my feet. “I’ll go. I promise…just don’t hurt them.”

  “Move, now,” the man ordered.

  “Clary,” Mattie started.

  “Don’t, please don’t. I’ve caused enough damage.” With my arms out in front of me, I wobbled over on unsteady legs toward the window. “I-I can’t see. You have to help me,” I told my captors. A vise grip wound around my arm just above my elbow, and I was shoved forward and stumbled into another body.