Black Out

by Lila Rose

  She shoved my hand away and glared. “It’s nothing, okay?”

  “Now you’re getting defensive, which means it’s actually something, and it’s good.” I chuckled. She growled; yet another cute thing she did.

  “Fine, I’ll stay in your room. Now, can you leave so I can get some rest?” I wondered if she showed anyone else that attitude. Then again, I doubted it, or else she’d be in someone else’s room and they’d be fuckin’ that attitude right outta her. Which wasn’t a bad idea.

  Shit, I wanted to watch her from under me as I slowly teased her with my cock and sunk slowly inside her pussy. I just knew she’d be wet and tight for me.

  Fuck! I needed to get out of the room before my dick got its way and took what was mine.

  Standing quickly, I went for the door. “I’ll let you rest, sugar. You need some food first?” I didn’t want her to sleep on an empty stomach, and Christ, I was glad I asked because her face softened and she gave me a small smile. My dick, once again, strained against its restraint.

  “No, I’m fine. I had a big lunch with Ivy before my nap earlier. Thank you, though.”

  Opening the door, I said, “No worries. I’ll be seeing you tomorrow. Night, babe.”

  “Night, Blue.”

  Thank fuck the room next to mine was free; I didn’t want to go far. I considered finding Talon, to find out what he knew, but I was dead on my feet. I needed sleep, and just thinking I was sleeping next to Clary in some way had me giddy like a fuckin’ girl.

  Why did I have to lose my balls when feelings came into play? I swear Clary wore a new necklace with my hairy sack swinging around her neck.

  The room was pretty much the same as mine. The bed was to the left of the room against the wall, the TV opposite it, hanging from some hooks on the wall. There were no large drawers like I had under my TV. Instead, there were only two little sets which sat on each side of the bed. At least there was a wardrobe to the right of the TV, and to the left was the bathroom.

  All the rooms had their own bathroom. Talon did that as soon as he took over as president, and I was damned glad, because I needed one. As I stripped off, I threw my gear to the floor and walked naked into the bathroom. I waited for the shower to heat up and thought how much I wished Clary was with me, wished she’d walk up behind me and gently wind her arms around my waist as she lay a kiss on my tattooed back.

  Hell, my cock pulsated. I stepped under the spray of warm water and closed my eyes. All I could think about was Clary. I took my dick in hand and stroked as a groan fell from my lips. Clary’s porcelain skin would be slick from the droplets of water as they ran down her small frame. I’d reach out to her and drag her closer so our bodies were aligned. One hand would go to her arse, while the other would thread through her hair, gripping tightly, and then I’d pull her head back so my mouth could attack her neck. She’d moan, and her pussy would be drenched from that one move.

  Shit. I groaned as my cum shot out all over the tiled walls.

  Dammit, I hadn’t even gotten to the good part and she already had me comin’ apart.

  I dried myself off with the towel I’d grabbed earlier from my room and slipped into some boxers. Finally, I crawled into bed. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. Who’d have thought I’d come home to find myself already hooked to a woman. It was too soon, but fuck, I wouldn’t have it any other way. She consumed my mind…even from that first sight of her sitting in that café.

  And now she consumed my heart.

  I’d do anything for that woman. Anything.

  A scream slipped into my sleepy state and I bolted upright in bed. Where in the hell had that come from? Another scream and I jumped from the bed.

  Clary.

  I was out the door and in the hall when my eyes landed on someone walking into my room, where Clary was. Running, I dove onto his back and brought him to the floor. We both grunted and swore. Clary screamed again and thrashed around in the bed.

  What the fuck?

  The dude under me pushed back. I sat back and rolled him over. Billy stared up at me. “What the hell you doin’, kid?” I asked. I stood and went to the side of the bed. Clary was sweating and whimpering.

  Billy came up beside me and whispered, “I wasn’t sneakin’ in. I know she’s yours, Blue. She’s done this nearly every night she’s been here. The nightmares.”

  “About what happened the other night?”

  “Nah, I asked Wildcat to find out. I’m in the room opposite. I hear them break her every time. They’re about the fire.” He paused a second. “She eventually comes out of them herself. But on one night…fuck, don’t kill me. One night, I climbed in next to her, and she seemed to settle.”

  “Out,” I ordered with a hiss. Goddammit, I hated that I wasn’t there for her.

  “Blue, I wasn’t takin’ advantage of her—”

  I turned my head to him. “I know, kid.” He was the youngest of our rowdy brotherhood at nineteen, yet, sometimes he was the smartest. Though, the type of pussy he slept with wasn’t all that bright. Still, we all went through that stage.

  “‘Kay,” he uttered and left.

  When the door closed behind him, I flipped back the covers and brought my woman, who was still whimpering, into my arms. She sighed deeply and settled straight away, and fuck, that made me want to take care of her that much more.

  There was a bang out in the hallway. I was about to get back out of bed and kill the fucker if Clary woke, but then the words I heard next shocked the shit out of me, and I knew it wasn’t any of my business.

  A door opened. “Pick, you’re drunk, man. Go to your own room.”

  “C’mon, Billy,” Pick slurred.

  “Just because I sucked your dick once doesn’t mean I’m gonna do it again. Hell, especially when you’re drunk. You’ll wake up and freak like last time.”

  “Nah, I won’t.”

  “No, Pick. Not happenin’. Go find a nice pussy to warm your dick.”

  “Jesus, there’s only one pussy I want, and I can’t have that. You know that, brother. You want her too, and my cock.”

  “This ain’t happenin’.”

  Then a door slammed, and I heard Pick ask himself, “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

  Holy shit. Yep, that was definitely none of my goddamn business.

  I was certain Blue had come in my room last night. I could smell him more on the pillow next to me. But why would he have done that, and then not be there when I woke? That feeling of having him close continued for the next two weeks.

  I asked him many times if he was in my room through the night. He either ignored my question or told me not to be silly. I knew it was happening; I wasn’t going crazy. I even tried to stay awake many times. Never worked. I had his company only a few times during the day—six, to be exact. He told me he was busy with work and such. I felt let down, but then those times he’d touch me in a way which made my heart beat wildly or when he’d whisper in my ear that I looked nice, had me feeling hope.

  Hope that something could start with us.

  But then my emotions would do an about-face and I’d be left feeling fucking annoyed.

  The man pissed me off, as well. It could be put down to sexual tension, but it also had to do with him being bossy and possessive.

  One time, when I was in the common room with Billy, Stoke and Dodge, Blue came in and told me to get up and go to my room. I knew for a fact I was not wearing any see-through clothes. So I told him to get stuffed; he had no right to tell me what to do. His biker brothers laughed, and that was when I found myself over his shoulder and heard his brothers hoot and laugh.

  He walked me into my room—I knew from the scent—set me on my feet, got close and whispered, “If I tell you to do something, you should.”

  “I think it’s in your best interest, Blue,” I hissed, “that you step back and apologise. You have no right telling me what to do, mister.”

  “I don’t like the way they look at you.”

  “Pf
ft, I don’t care. As far as I’m concerned, they can look however they want because none of them, or anyone for that matter, has asked me out, so I’m free to do what I want.”

  “Clary,” he growled low and deep.

  “Yes, Blue?”

  “You’re a pain in my arse.”

  “Fancy that, because you’re a pain in mine also.”

  At a time like that, I wanted to see his face. Who was I kidding? I wanted to see it at all times. However, then especially, I wanted to be glaring in the right goddamn direction to get my point across. I was going to go bonkers if that man didn’t take the next step and either ask me out or kiss me. Of course, I knew it was hard to go out on a real date. I wasn’t even sure bikers did that, but the thought that my sister was still wanting me, for whatever damn reason, was troubling. She hadn’t even contacted me in any way.

  I didn’t know what was going on, and that frustrated me even more. I wanted things back to a semi-normal life. I mean, I knew it would never be the same. I could never trust her, and really, I never wanted to see her again, but I wanted my life back. I wanted to go to the library, to go to the supermarket—hell, I wanted to go out on the town with the new friends I had made.

  However, I was still too scared to do any of that. Even though my girls had reassured me I’d be well protected, I didn’t want to risk it until I knew my sister didn’t still have a vendetta against me.

  Whatever the fuck it was about.

  The only thing which made me happy was I had finally healed. My ribs no longer hurt, and as I felt my face while in the bathroom that morning, there were no signs of any tender spots. Moving out of the bathroom, I went to the bed and sat down then flopped back to lie down, only to sit straight back up when my door flew open.

  “Enough of this staying at the compound all day and night shit,” Deanna announced. “We’re going to get our nails done and have crap put on our faces as a bonding time. It will be Hell, but I know you’ll enjoy it. You seem like the girly-girl type.”

  “So am I,” Julian giggled. His shadow stopped at my side and pulled me up by my elbow to stand. “Let’s go, cherry pie. Zara’s waiting in the car, and Ivy will meet us there.”

  “I’m not really in the mood, guys,” I said.

  “Stiff shit,” Deanna stated. She took my other hand and guided me out the door.

  “I had one of those this morning,” Julian said.

  “What?” Deanna asked as we walked down the hall. I knew there would be no point in arguing my point about staying; when Deanna and Julian wanted to do something for you, they got their way, whether you liked it or not.

  “A stiff shit.”

  Deanna gagged. “Oh, my fucking God, gay man. T-M-motherfucking-I.” I couldn’t help but laugh at Deanna’s reaction, because I knew Julian had only said it to annoy her, especially when he whispered in my ear, “I can get her every time.”

  The spa time was just what I needed. What also helped was Deanna pestering me to spill why I was so uptight lately, besides the fact that my sister was a raging slut. The three of them had noticed my moods were fluctuating from day-to-day, hour-to-hour even. At first, as Julian had put it, they thought I was on my period, or due for it. However, I had never snapped out of it.

  Sighing, I leaned back in the chair, where some lady was at the end pampering my feet. Julian sat on one side of me, while Zara sat on the other, and then Deanna was next to her.

  “I really don’t know.” I did, but I felt stupid for saying it. What should be foremost on my mind was my sister and her fucked-up-ness, but it wasn’t. It was Blue.

  “I call bull,” Julian said. I was just about to tell him again that it really was nothing when my phone announced I had a voice message.

  I pressed play, and the automated voice said, “From Ivy Morrison at 1pm,” followed by Ivy’s excited, “Girl, oh, my God. I did it. I confronted Billy. He told me Blue comes into your room every night as soon as he knows you’re asleep, because of your nightmares. Do you know what this means, woman?” She sang the next part, “He wants you; he likes you.” The message ended, and I knew my face was red.

  “I get it now,” Zara said with a smile in her voice.

  “Why didn’t you tell us anything about what’s been going on?” Julian asked in a small voice. He sounded upset, and I hated that.

  “You’re all closer to him. I didn’t want to make it awkward for you all, and Ivy’s still kind of new to the group, like me.”

  “Honey,” he started as he took my hand in his. “Us here, we have a code. It also includes Vi, Talon’s sister, Ivy and you, and that code is for the sisterhood of bikers. Of course, I get to be a part of it, because I’m so awesome. But what that code means is anything you don’t want passed on to the men, won’t be. Shit, Pop-Tart, we talk about the men all the time. You’ve got to have this chance with the sisterhood to vent or else they would just drive you crazy. It’s hard being around biker men. They drive differently than most men. They’re…more than any other men in every way, and sometimes that can be too much to handle. Which is when you come to us. Now, we’re glad you’ve gone to Ivy, but it’s time to fill your other sisters in on what’s going on.”

  Tears filled my eyes. Why hadn’t I met these wonderful people so many years ago? I could have put up with anything if I had them at my side. Why couldn’t any one of them have been my real sisters? I smiled to myself. Yes, even Julian…who still referred to me as his daughter around the bikers.

  “Okay. I’ll tell you everything.”

  “This is gonna be juicy,” Deanna cackled and clapped her hands together.

  “Not really. It’s more frustrating than anything. Since Blue’s been back, I haven’t seen him much, but—before Ivy said what she said in the message—I was sure he was coming to my room every night when I slept. I tried staying awake to catch him. I tried waking up early. However, I haven’t had the chance to know for sure. Well, not until Ivy’s message.”

  “That would be frustrating,” Zara said.

  I bit my bottom lip, contemplating if I should tell them the rest. Stuff it, they could help. They knew him better, and maybe what I had been reading in Blue, that he was interested in me, was wrong. “That’s not all.” My cheeks felt flushed, and I knew they were red. “I’m frustrated, because he won’t make a move on me. I know I shouldn’t be caring about it right now, especially with everything going on, not that we know what’s going on with my sister. But he’s hot and cold all the time, and when he’s hot—when he touches me, whispers in my ear—I want more. Then again, when he’s a possessive freak when I’m around his biker brothers, it just annoys me. It’s like he has this claim over me in front of them, but then he goes cold as soon as we’re alone again.”

  “She’s been around Ivy too much.” Julian laughed.

  “Damn straight,” Deanna added.

  “Guys,” I whined.

  “We get it now,” Deanna continued. “You’re sexually frustrated. I mean, I can understand that. Blue’s hot. Not as hot as my man, but he’s up there. What I don’t get is why the guy’s waiting. Shit, we’ve all seen the way he watches you. Griz has even said he needs to get his act together.”

  “Maybe…” Zara started, “maybe, he doesn’t want to scare you off. Maybe he wants to take things slowly because you could be special to him. Talon and I were just talking about this last night. He’s claimed you as his, honey, but—”

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “No other man can touch you without getting on Blue’s bad side,” Deanna said.

  “Alpha men are so damn hot,” Julian offered to the conversation.

  “Then, if he’s an alpha male and has claimed me, why isn’t he…why doesn’t he…why can’t he—”

  “Fuck you?” Deanna supplied.

  I shrugged. “Um, I guess. Yes, that, but why won’t he show me he does care? That he wants more from me?”

  “Oh, he does, sugar plum. He has a boner every time he’s around you. Bel
ieve me…I’ve noticed.”

  Wow. Really?

  “He could be waiting to make a move for when all your shit’s over,” the new male voice made me jump. Julian screamed and Deanna swore.

  “Pick, what the fuck? You can’t sneak up on us,” Deanna snapped.

  “Boss wants you to call him, Wildcat. You’re not answering your phone. I caught Ivy out front. She’s already headed back to the compound.”

  “Stuff it,” Zara sighed.

  Deanna teased her about something, but I wasn’t interested in the conversation. I was thinking that Pick could be right. Maybe Blue thought he was doing the right thing by waiting until my problem was out of the way; however, I didn’t want to wait.

  It was about time I took matters into my own hands, even though I was so nervous. Still, there was a large amount of frustration built up and I was prepared to shove all my inexperience with sex out the window, because I wanted my man.

  “Hey, honey,” Zara said with a sweet voice.

  She must have had him on speaker, because when I heard his voice, he sounded pissed. “What the fuck, Kitten? What. The. Fuck?”

  “We had it under control,” she replied.

  “Give me the phone,” we heard in the background, and I’d know that voice anywhere. Blue. Still, Talon said into the phone, “No.” He must have been talking to Blue. “Zara, you better get your arse back here now. What in the hell were you thinkin’, woman? You and your damn three muffkateer posse are in deep shit. Hopefully, Blue will cool down by the time you get back with his woman. I told you not to do this shit. I told you if she was to leave, she was to be guarded so Blue wouldn’t lose. His. Shit.”

  He took an angry breath. “Guess what, Kitten? He lost his shit when he came into my fuckin’ office to find out where his woman was, and I had to say I didn’t know. Thank fuck Billy saw your posse leaving with her. Then, I find out another brother saw you, Kitten, my damned woman, in a car out front, waiting to take Blue’s woman out for a fuckin’ joyride, telling no fuckin’ one where you were going.”