There Once Were Stars

by Melanie Mcfarlane

  Cardinal holds up some rocks for me to see when I get close. I don’t see the importance; they look like plain old rocks to me. “You remind me of my uncle.”

  “Alec?”

  “You knew him?”

  “We worked in Geology together.”

  She doesn’t offer anything more, and I don’t ask. I’ve gotten used to Cardinal’s flat responses. I kick off my shoes and wade into the water to get a better look. The cool sensation of the river rushes past my bare legs and I struggle to keep my footing on the slippery rocks.

  “How can you stand in here like that? It’s freezing.” My teeth begin to chatter as the cold climbs up my legs.

  “Check these out, Greyes.” She passes me the slime-covered rocks. “There are algae on these rocks.” I shrug. “It shows that life has come back everywhere, outside. She passes me a small jar she holds in her other hand. I peer inside and see tiny little fish swimming in it. “Minnows!” Cardinal exclaims. “Can you believe it? Real, live fish. It’s extraordinary.”

  I can’t help but smile, despite my misery. Cardinal was so cold when we first met that I pretty much avoided her every day in the lab. Now I see a side of her I like—a side I can relate to. Everyone shows their true colors when they have a passion.

  I hand Cardinal back her prize. “Where’s the rest of the group?”

  “Follow the river. You’ll come across the trucks and a small camp they set up. Waldorf brought out a surprise. You’ll hear it before you see it.”

  I wade out of the water and grab my shoes from the shore and carry them with me. After a few minutes, the trucks come in to view. I also notice something unfamiliar in the air—music. I run toward the camp to see what Waldorf brought.

  The first person I see is Evan. Not only did he beat me back to camp, but he has his arms around Tassie, and they’re dancing. Jealousy rips through my chest, leaving pain in its wake. It lands in the pit of my stomach where it burns a hole. I freeze, about to turn the other way. But then I’m spotted.

  “Look, Greyes,” Waldorf exclaims. “I brought this old music player and got it to work. It was quite simple, actually—”

  Evan and Tassie are laughing as he spins her around once, and then pulls her close. She lays her head against his chest and anger wildly rears itself inside me. Obviously Evan couldn’t kiss me because he has feelings for someone else. If he’d only told me earlier, I wouldn’t have looked so stupid. I look back at Waldorf, realizing he is still talking to me.

  “—so it’s something we could set up for the residents to use. Wouldn’t that be great? They could have a large music hall for dances and gatherings.” Waldorf beams at me from behind his thick glasses.

  I throw my arms around him, grateful for his ideas. I wonder if this excitement was similar to what he experienced while on expeditions with my parents. “That’s amazing. People need more joy, and less pressure. You’ll be doing a great thing if you can get this approved.”

  He stands there beaming in all his glory. “You inspired me, searching for your mother’s things. I paid a visit at the Hall of Records this week, searching for this item specifically for our trip today.”

  “You were at the Hall of Records and didn’t tell me?”

  “Would you like to dance?” Roe interrupts us, holding a hand out to Waldorf. He pushes his glasses back up on his nose, and straightens his scarf before taking her hand. Soon everyone joins in together. Tassie breaks away from the group and pulls me out to dance with her. Even in my jealousy I can’t be mad at her. It’s not her fault if Evan likes her.

  Cardinal returns with her samples, and we break for lunch. Evan tries to sit next to me, but I move when I see him coming, letting him be alone with Tassie. The rest of the afternoon goes well. Waldorf, Roe, and Evan review maps after lunch, and disappear for a few hours, allowing me a break from having to face Evan. I offer to help Cardinal, the Richards, and Tassie, with the rest of their sample collecting. It’s monotonous work, but I learn a lot about the plants around us, and their usefulness.

  “Take this one,” Mr. Richards holds up a pink-flowered plant, “this is a Hedysarum alpinum. Its root is very nutritious but its seeds can have a paralytic effect if eaten in large doses. Dangerous, yet beautiful. There’s so much we can learn about plants. Why, one could live in the wild with the proper knowledge under his or her belt.”

  Mrs. Richards smiles and joins the conversation. “My husband, the dreamer. He thinks we should be pioneers, offering to create the first settlement outside the dome.”

  “This land is untouched.” Mr. Richards spreads out his arms. “There’s so much the science departments could learn out here in an uncontrolled environment.”

  We get everything tagged, bagged, and sorted. There are lots of boxes of samples this time. No one will be able to ride in the back of the trucks on the way home.

  Roe returns shortly after we are finished, and announces, “Time to pack up camp, everyone. Today was a success. Let’s get these treasures back to Floor 18 so we can get them processed. Can someone please help the botanist? She’s gathered enough samples for a lifetime.”

  “Hey.” Tassie smiles. “I have an entire department eagerly waiting for my return. We need new challenges.”

  “Let me help you.” I watch as Evan grabs one of Tassie’s large boxes.

  My body tenses up again. I pack up some of the belongings we brought with us, to keep myself busy. When I’m done, I grab one to carry to the truck.

  “Can I help you?” Evan’s voice startles me. He reaches for my hand, hidden behind the box.

  I step back. “No. I don’t need your help. I’m sure you and Tassie can find more things to do together.” I walk away feeling a brief moment of self-satisfaction as I put my things in the back of the truck. Then, I notice Evan holding the door open for Tassie to climb in. I immediately regret my reaction. He looks over and catches me staring. I try to force a smile, but he looks away, and climbs in the truck after Tassie. I join Cardinal and the Richards again for the ride back.

  After we return and deliver our samples to Floor 18, we are freed to grab a late supper. “Take the evening off, people,” Roe calls out. “Go have some fun.”

  I pass Evan and his stare burns against my back. I push ahead of the others, making sure I get to the elevators before he does. Even if it is for one floor, I don’t want to be in a confined space with him. I’m afraid of what stupid thing I might say next.

  I get to my room, and find Jak waiting in the hallway for me. He’s dressed in an expensive-looking suit, holds a bouquet of flowers, and is smiling, until he sees the confusion on my face. “You forgot,” he says, handing me the bouquet.

  Suit. Flowers. Oh, no! “Your night!” I cry out. “Jak! I’m sorry. I’ve been caught up in preparing for this last expedition. Give me twenty minutes to clean up.”

  “Alright,” he grumbles. “I’ll be waiting out here for you.” I grab the bouquet and go up on my tiptoes, kissing him on the cheek. I toss the flowers on my desk inside my room, and run to the showers to get cleaned up.

  When I get out of the showers, Jak is gone and Tassie is in our room. She sees my anxiety. “I forgot about Jak’s initiation night,” I spout out, as I stand in my towel.

  “He’ll be right back,” she explains. “He ran to get something.”

  “I completely forgot. What will I wear?”

  “Here …” She jumps up and goes to her closet, flipping through her outfits. She grabs a shimmering dress, made of silvery cotton. “It’s perfect.”

  She helps me slip into the dress, which casts reflections around the room from the fluorescent lights above. I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to brush my unruly dark waves.

  “Stop,” she says, grabbing the brush. “I’ll do hair, you do makeup.”

  “What do you think it will be like?” I ask as she brushes my hair back.

  “Have you met the Delegates’ wives before?” I shake my head. “They
are fancy ladies. I wish I could spend an evening with them.”

  My stomach turns. I’m far from fancy. What on earth would I talk to them about?

  After a few more tugs, she lets me dig into my makeup, but here again, I’m at a loss and she takes over. “Oh, Nat,” she smiles. “I have so much to teach you.”

  She spins me around to face the mirror, and I gawk. I look better than I ever imagined I could. The makeup has blended together the freckles that appeared from the last two outings, making my complexion smooth and perfect. She’s also tamed my hair into looking like hers, making my long strands soft and wavy as they cascade around my face. I can’t help but smile. I remind myself of my mother. I look much less like a tomboy tonight.

  Both Tassie and I turn as our bedroom door opens. Jak and Evan are standing on the other side facing each other. They turn at the same time, and both look shocked at my transformation, and then bump against each other as they step inside.

  “I, uh,” Evan starts. “I came to see why you two didn’t join us for a late supper upstairs.”

  “Nat has a date tonight.” Tassie claps her hands. “It’s a Delegate initiation! Congratulations, Jak.” She flutters her eyelashes at him. “Nat is so lucky.”

  “It was worth the wait,” he says, staring at me. “Let’s go; we’ve missed half the cocktail hour.”

  I glance at Evan as I walk past. His teeth are clenched and his arms are crossed against his chest. I can see his jaw flexing as he stares at me, but there’s no emotion in his eyes. Just a blank stare. My stomach burns in disappointment. Why did I think he was here to see me?

  “Enjoy your date, Greyes,” he grumbles as the door slides shut.

  Jak takes my hand and pulls me down the hallway, constantly looking at me with a sidelong glance. In the elevator, on our way to Floor 3, we turn at the same time and start to laugh.

  “Who would have thought we’d both be here, now?” he asks.

  “At least one of us got our dream.”

  “Oh, Nat,” Jak says putting his arm around me. “You wouldn’t know your dreams if they slapped you in the face.” Images of my last night with Grandmother flicker through my head, and a shiver runs through my body, making my skin cold and clammy. Jak drops his arm from around me and shuffles his feet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “Let’s not wreck tonight with apologies,” I say, looking down at my shoes. They match my dress, a luxury I’d never had in my life outside the Axis. “I’m just grateful things can go back to normal.”

  Maybe Jak is right, I really wouldn’t know if I wanted something unless I couldn’t have it. The elevator dings. I reach over and squeeze Jak’s hand. “Let’s do this.”

  CHAPTER 18

  A red carpet extends from the Floor 3 elevator, disappearing into a sea of black and white. I readjust my silvery dress, feeling suddenly out of place. Tassie’s dress is much too short for an event like this.

  As we walk into the crowd, I recognize faces of those from the business district: shop owners, bankers, and other business people. No one from the apartment district is present. This party is for the upper classes.

  Two faces I personally know appear. I have not seen Mr. and Mrs. Manning since before my birthday. Jak weaves us through the crowd in their direction.

  “Oh, Natalia.” Mrs. Manning smiles at me. “Aren’t you an image of loveliness?” She leans forward and kisses the air on each side of my face. I manage to avoid spilling her cocktail. “Jak tells us you are a part of the Expedition program now. Very illustrious. Taking after your parents, I see?” This is the most attention I have received from Mrs. Manning in all the time Jak and I were friends, growing up.

  “Yes, Mother.” Jak holds me on display on his arm. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

  “Lovely choice, darling,” Mrs. Manning leans forward and greets Jak the same way she greeted me.

  Mr. Manning nods to me and holds his hand out to Jak. “Good job, son. We are very proud.”

  Is this what it would be like to have parents now? A lot of air-kissing and compliments. Though I would take this any day over living with Grandmother, it’s nothing close to the connection I have with Grandfather.

  “Thank you, Father.” Jak firmly shakes his father’s perfectly manicured hand. “I better find the Director, sir. I’d like him to meet Nat before the ceremony begins.”

  His parents turn toward a group of other shop owners and we make our way through the crowd. We move toward the end of the hallway, where the Director’s office is. The door is open. Outside the entrance I notice the familiar faces of the current Delegates. Samson, Carleton, Brandt, and Betker are all standing with their wives, visiting with various Order members. Samson is in charge of all agricultural divisions. Brandt is in charge of all commercial and residential zones. Betker is the head of the Order. And then there is Carleton, head of the Hall of Records. He notices me right away, and his eyes stay glued on me as he pushes past his comrades, into our path.

  “Miss Greyes,” his long, drawn-out voice addresses me, “how lovely you look tonight. I had no idea we would be graced with your presence. It is a delight.” He holds out his hand, and I take its clammy coldness into mine, and curtsey, letting go as quickly as I can without offending him. He leans in. “I trust you found the items you were looking for?”

  “The list has been sent in.” I force a smile, as everyone around us watches. The other Delegates close in.

  “I will pack it for you personally,” Carleton whispers.

  Jak pulls me away from the old man. “If I may introduce my date to the rest of you, this is my old friend, Natalia Greyes.”

  “Oh, my,” Brandt pipes in with a jovial voice. “She’s not old at all. Be careful how you introduce a woman, Manning.”

  “We’ll teach him the ropes, little lady,” Betker says slapping Jak on the back. “Don’t you worry.”

  I smile and nod, wanting to recoil from each of their handshakes. They have a casual machismo that makes me uncomfortable. There’s nothing professional about them; I’m an object here for Jak to show off, nothing more to them. I notice their wives hang back, whispering with one another. Staying as separate as they can from the rest of the crowd.

  “Did I hear someone wants to see me?” the Director’s gruff voice comes from the doorway of his office.

  “Yes, sir,” Jak straightens up. “I want to introduce you to my date, Nat-er, I mean, Natalia Greyes.”

  The Director holds out his plump hand and I take it and curtsey as I did with Carleton, but before I can withdraw my hand, he places his other hand on top of mine and pulls me close.

  “Why,” he says, surprised. “I recognize those eyes. Are you the daughter of Kaitlin and Jonathan Greyes?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I knew it. I’d recognize those eyes anywhere.” He stares intently at me. “Your mother came to this office many a time to discuss politics. You see, she never liked the way I ran the science programs. Scientists and politics, the two don’t mix well.”

  “I’m afraid I don’t know much about her, sir.” I lock my gaze onto his eyes. “I was only nine when the incident happened.”

  He nods. “I suppose you were. Time does go so fast, doesn’t it? That’s exactly why we need to preserve and protect the quality of the life we have here in the dome, wouldn’t you agree, Miss Greyes?” All the Delegates are nodding in agreement.

  “Peace. Love. Order. Dome.” I rattle off the motto with the most sincere smile I can find. “Yes, sir, without any of these, where would we be?”

  “My thoughts exactly,” the Director says, patting the top of my hand. “Good girl you’ve found here, Manning. I’d hold on to her as tight as possible, if it were me.” He breaks into a disgusting laugh. “Let’s get started, shall we?”

  The group disperses, and the Director begins a long speech. He talks of the ways of the dome and how we need to keep the motto strong, a part of this being a solid foundation fo
r those who keep things running. In this roundabout way, the Director brings Jak into the mix, as an essential part to the foundation of the Delegates and their support to the Director.

  “That’s why it is my honor to welcome Jak Manning to the new position of Assistant to the Director.”

  Jak stands, the fluorescent lights catching his blue eyes at just the right angle to make them sparkle. He looks so innocent, among this sea of sharks and crude businesspeople. Will Jak become like them? The Director shakes Jak’s hand, awarding him his permanent position, and lifelong dream.

  By the time the pomp is over, my stomach is growling. I was left standing with the Delegate wives all this time. The one next to me is married to Brandt. While everyone claps when the ceremony is over, she nudges me in the arm.

  “Ladies,” she addresses her counterparts, “we need to get this little thing fed. I could hear her poor tummy the entire time the Director was talking.”

  I clutch my stomach in embarrassment.

  “Probably was more interesting than the speech,” Betker’s wife says. Samson’s wife spits out a laugh.

  “Oh, Clary.” Brandt’s wife shakes her head. “You are terrible. Come with us, honey, we know where the good food is kept.”

  I follow the Delegate wives into the Director’s office. Their husbands, along with Jak and the Director, are swallowed up into a crowd from the finance district.

  Samson’s wife closes the door behind us. “Finally, some peace and quiet.” She lights a cigarette. I’m shocked. No one in the dome smokes. “Don’t look so surprised, little one.” She waves a hand, dismissing me. “There are perks to being married to a Delegate. I’m Catherine, by the way.” She holds out a hand and I shake it.