There Once Were Stars

by Melanie Mcfarlane

  The Delegates live in a gated community, with some of the other professionals in the dome such as doctors, lawyers, and CEOs. Their community is separate from all the districts, running along the edge of the Outer Forest.

  “Where did you grow up?” Carleton’s wife asks, tilting her head. She’s frail and tiny.

  “In the apartment district.” Their faces drop before I finish. “Right at the edge. That’s how I know Jak. His parents’ townhouse was only a few blocks away.”

  “Those Mannings act like they are the peak of the shop district,” Clary laughs. “I didn’t realize they were so close to the apartments.”

  “Must be terrible living in such close quarters to one another,” Brandt’s wife says, her eyes widening with concern.

  “We have our own units,” I say.

  “Oh, Deidre, it’s not like they all sleep in one room,” Clary says. “Sometimes you’re so daft. It’s like a mini-house.” She pours herself a large drink from the Director’s bar.

  “Well, that’s not so bad, I guess.” Clary smiles at me. “Here, eat.”

  I fill a plate with food, and turn toward them. They all watch me intently. “Aren’t you going to eat, too?”

  “Oh, darling.” Clary shakes her head. “We ate before we came. It’s not appropriate for a Delegate’s wife to gorge herself at these functions.”

  “People have expectations of us.” Deidre nods. Carleton’s wife nods in agreement. I fear if she nods too long, her head may fall off. “You’ll find out when you become one of us.” Deidre smiles at me.

  “That won’t be any time soon.”

  “Oh, I’m sure your boy will ask the question, now that he has a permanent position,” Deidre advises.

  I almost spit out my food. “We’re not dating.”

  “Really?” Clary says, leaning forward. “Betker told me that Jak is always talking about his plans with you. The Director likes his team to have family ideals. It keeps them properly motivated towards the goals of the Dome.”

  “We’re old friends. We’ve known each other forever.”

  “Who’s old friends?” the Director says, storming into his office.

  “Eek!” Carleton’s wife shrieks.

  “Oh, Victoria, relax,” Clary says. She puts out her arms and the Director comes over and gives her a big hug.

  “Aren’t you ravishing tonight, Clary.” The Director groans as he holds her a little too long and too tight. “I tell you, if I didn’t know your husband so well …” He grunts out a laugh, and lets her go. “I hope you ladies are making our new addition feel welcome.”

  “Oh yes, of course, sir,” Deidre says flutters her eyelashes and plants a kiss on the Director’s cheek.

  “If I may,” the Director addresses the wives, “I’d like a moment alone with Miss Greyes to discuss politics.”

  “Yes, sir,” Deidre says, flashing her bright white teeth. She ushers the wives out of the Director’s office, and I notice Catherine look back at me, biting her lip. Clary also shoots me a look, but it’s not as concerned. The door closes behind them.

  “So,” the Director says, walking over to the bar and pours a drink. “What do you think about working here at the Axis?”

  “I like it sir, thank you.” I try to force another smile, but my cheeks are starting to hurt.

  “Don’t call me sir.” He laughs and hands me the drink. “It’s so formal.”

  “Director, then?” I take a sip. The strong bite of the amber fluid burns my taste buds.

  “Have you ever tasted whiskey before?”

  “No, sir. I mean, Director.”

  “You do remind me of your mother.” He leans in and moves a strand of hair from my face. I force myself not to flinch at his touch.

  I step away from him, moving over to his desk where I set down my plate of food. The room feels off-center. It must be nerves. I take another sip of the drink, this time longer, to try to avoid the Director’s gaze.

  “Did you know her well?”

  “Ah yes.” He comes over to the desk. “She was a force to be reckoned with. Filled with many great ideas, some of which we still implement today in the Science Division. She also had many political opinions, which I reminded her were best left for the Delegates and me to sort out.”

  “I don’t remember much.” I take another long sip.

  “Too bad she didn’t leave anything behind.”

  “I had her notebook, but that’s gone now.” I have no idea why I share this information with the Director. It spills out of my mouth before I can process any thoughts.

  The Director smiles. “I have a confession. I have something you might want back.” He walks over to the other side of his desk.

  “You do?” I take another long sip of my drink. I can’t seem to stop drinking it.

  He opens a drawer in his desk, and pulls out something familiar, but I barely notice it as the room starts to spin. I grab the edge of the desk in front of me, and try to focus, and the object starts to register in my memory. I look back a second time. It’s my mother’s notebook.

  “How did you get that?”

  “Oh, don’t be mad,” he says. “Young Jak brought it here to shred, but I advised him all documents brought into the Axis must be reviewed by the Order before they can be destroyed. Betker looked it over, and advised there was nothing in it that would compromise Axis, or Order business. Hence, I thought I would keep it, and return it to you myself one day. How lucky it is that you graced me with your presence tonight.”

  I reach for the notebook, but he pulls it just out of my grasp. I get up and walk around the desk, holding my hand out, but the room spins even worse when I stand. My unsteadiness gets the better of me, and I stumble, nearly falling across his desk.

  “Perhaps you should give me that drink, my dear.” The Director takes the glass from my hand. “I must have accidentally poured you some of my truth whiskey. I use it on guests I need to get information from. I don’t need any information from you, do I?” He grabs my wrist, twisting my arm as he pulls me into his lap.

  “No, sir.” I try to stand. “I mean, Director.”

  “Good girl. Now, before I let you leave with this notebook, I will share something with you. Something not many people know. Your mother became a bit of a problem for this office. She stuck her nose into departments she never should have. Am I going to have that same problem with you?”

  The little food I ate gurgles in my stomach. Is he threatening me? “No.” I grab my mother’s notebook.

  “Good.” He lets go of the notebook and places a hand on my knee. “Now we can be friends. I’d hate for you to affect your boyfriend’s future with this office.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” I say through clenched teeth.

  The door to the office opens and Jak walks in. He stops short in the doorway, his mouth dropping open when he sees where I’m sitting. The Director lets go of my leg and loosens his grip on my wrist.

  “Manning!” the Director calls out. “Just the person we were talking about. Friendly little gal you brought tonight.”

  I jump out of the chair, catching the bottom of my dress on something on the inside of his desk. I catch a glimpse of a button as my dress tears on it. I pick up my mother’s notebook, and run from the office.

  “Thanks for the visit, Miss Greyes,” the Director calls after me. “I look forward to the next time we meet.” My stomach lurches again, threatening to empty itself into the hallway filled with people. I don’t care if Jak follows me, all I know is I need out of this place. Clary smiles smugly at me as I run past. All these people are so selfish and terrible. But right now, I don’t care. Right now, I’m clutching my mother’s notebook, thinking about the button I saw on the inside of the Director’s desk. The button that reads B3.

  CHAPTER 19

  Jak guides me to the elevators. I don’t expect him to and I certainly don’t want him to, but I’m in no state to argue. As soon as the
doors slide shut, cutting out the music of the party, he reaches out and hits the stop button.

  “What the hell is going on with you, Nat? First you want nothing to do with me. Then, you run after this Outsider you know nothing about. And finally, you forget about how important tonight is to me, and end up throwing yourself at the Director. What are you trying to prove?”

  “I didn’t ask to be here at the Axis. You decided that would be best. I didn’t ask to be put on a team with Evan. It just happened. I seem to have very little control about what goes on in my life. Did you know the Delegates expect us to get married? Is this something you were planning on telling me at some point, or did you decide that for me, too?”

  He grabs my wrist, and turns me toward him. “That’s how they think. I get that you don’t feel the same way about me, but you can’t blame me for trying. If you hadn’t met that damn Outsider, everything would be fine. What do you see in him? He’s not even a resident.” His grip on my wrist tightens.

  “There’s nothing going on between Evan and me, trust me. Maybe you’re spending too much time with your so-called hero.” I wrench my wrist away from his grasp. “I hope you don’t graduate to drugging girls, making them sit in your lap at the next party.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “Wake up, Jak.” I hit the elevator start button. The upward movement throws me off-balance and I grab the railing. “Your Director is not perfect. He has a bottle of whiskey with a drug in it that he uses to get information out of people. Plus, he had my mother’s notebook all this time, even after you told me you destroyed it.”

  Jak looks down at the notebook and back at me. I fall against the wall, gripping the railing to steady myself. Jak’s brows furrow. “I can explain the notebook.”

  “No need. Your boss already did.” The elevator doors open and I step out, supporting myself against the wall. “Go ask him what happened in his office. I’m sure he’ll tell you the truth.” I roll my eyes as the elevator doors close, and I’m left with a sour taste in my mouth and the surprised look on Jak’s face. Or maybe it was disappointment? I don’t care. I need to find my room and sleep this off.

  I stumble down the hallway, until I locate my door. Thankfully, Tassie’s gone. I lie down, but the room spins around even more that way. I try to stand, but stumble off my bed, and crash to the floor. The door slides open, and I hold up my hand. “Leave me alone, Jak.”

  “Nat!” Evan’s voice cries out.

  His hands reach under my arms and pull me onto my bed. I collapse against him, inhaling his cologne, and this makes my stomach heave, but I manage to hold everything in.

  “Are you okay?” He runs his hands through my hair, moving it off my face. “What happened to your dress?”

  “Nothing like being drugged, groped, and lied to, all in one evening.”

  “I’m going to kill Jak,” Evan says, balling his fists. His nostrils flare as he takes a deep breath.

  “Jak did the lying part. The rest was all the Director’s doing.”

  “What kinds of people run this place?” Evan sits next to me on the bed. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

  “No.” I reach for his hand. “Stay. Please. I’m fine, he just gave me some truth serum.”

  “What sort of questions did he ask?”

  “None, really. He kept asking if I was going to be good or not. He’s sick. I ripped my dress on his desk, trying to get away.”

  “I don’t want you alone anymore.” Evan shakes his head. “I don’t trust them.”

  My head feels light and fuzzy as the drugs take full effect. I can only smile at Evan. He’s right. I shouldn’t be alone. I can’t argue with that. “Why don’t you like me? I mean, I know you don’t hate me, but sometimes I think you really like me but then you don’t. It’s confusing.”

  “I like you.” Evan laughs. “Can’t you tell?”

  “Not in the same way you like Tassie. I don’t blame you. She’s very pretty. She thinks you like someone else, but I know it’s her, isn’t it?”

  “Are these the sorts of things you girls talk about?”

  “Sometimes.” I lean against my cubby, smiling. “Sometimes we talk about plants. Sometimes we talk about boys.”

  “I do like someone,” Evan says. “I tried avoiding her, to make sure I didn’t get distracted from my job, but there she is, always sidetracking me. And it’s not on purpose. I can’t help myself anymore.”

  “Maybe you love Tassie.” I feel a pang of jealousy tighten my chest.

  “Oh, Greyes, you goof.” Evan squeezes my hand. “I’m talking about you.”

  I must be hearing things. Or maybe it’s the drugs. I rub my temples, trying to massage away my lightheadedness. Is he serious? “But that doesn’t make any sense. I practically threw myself at you. I thought—well, you said—”

  “I know what I said.” He shifts on the bed, getting close. “But no matter how hard I try, there you are, always popping into my thoughts even when I try to ignore you.”

  Evan leans forward, and kisses the tip of my nose. It’s slow but short, and not at all what I expect, or should I say, want. I definitely want something more. He pauses a moment and then leans back, looking back into my eyes. “See, I could never like Tassie or anyone else, now that I’ve met you.”

  I lean forward this time, pushing my lips against Evan’s. I’m not as gentle as he is. His fingers reach behind me, pulling me closer, until he’s pressed against my body. I release my frustration by wrapping my hands behind his neck and running my fingers through his hair. Tassie was right. I have to give her credit. She knows more about boys than I do.

  Eventually I stop to catch my breath, and rest my cheek against his chest, listening to a mixture of his breathing and heartbeat as he runs his hands along my bare arm. He smells like the trees in the forest. Free.

  “Let me go get you some tea from the cafeteria.”

  “Mmm. Tea sounds nice.”

  He shifts from underneath me, and every cell in my body cries out for him to stay, but I let him go. He stands in front of me, his eyes lined with deep concern, but I’m too tired to sit up and put him at ease. I grab my pillow, and put it in his empty place, clutching it close until he returns.

  “I’ll be right back. Maybe Sophie has something that can counteract this truth drug you got. Not that I want you to stop telling me all your secrets.”

  I try to throw my shoe at Evan, but he ducks out of my room. As I lie there, everything feels suffocating. This dress is soiled from the Director’s touch and Jak’s accusing eyes. I slip it off, dropping it to the floor, and manage to slide into sweat pants and a cotton shirt while lying on my bed. I climb back in my bed, and touch my lips, where Evan’s kiss still reverberates.

  He comes back in about fifteen minutes with a steaming mug. “Sophie says it will wear off on its own within the hour. She’s heard of it used before on others. It won’t hurt you.”

  Evan passes me the tea, and as I reach for it he grabs my hand, turning it over to reveal the small bruises left behind by the Director as he held me on his lap. I can’t shake these off as easily as the dress. “Who did this?”

  “The Director wanted to get his point across.” I pull my hand away and hide the marks under my sleeve.

  “What point is that?”

  “I think my mother double-crossed him. He wanted to make sure I understood that was not acceptable. Maybe that’s why I’m here. So he can watch me.”

  “I’m not leaving you alone anymore.”

  “I’m fine.” I rub my wrist through my shirt as my skin crawls. It’s time to change the subject. “There was something I saw in the Director’s office.”

  “Okay …” Evan sits next to me, and we both lean against the wall at the side of my bed.

  “Have you ever heard of B3?”

  “B3?” Evan says. “Well, I know there is a B1, where the generator room is, and B2 is detainment.”

  “E
xactly. So what could be on B3?”

  “What makes you think there is a B3?”

  “I saw a button on the Director’s desk that had ‘B3’ written on it.”

  “You saw that with your own eyes?”

  I nod.

  “B3 is a theory your Uncle has. He said your mother told him that the Axis kidnapped people and put them on B3.”

  “Why would they do that?”

  “Your uncle told us about mysterious disappearances that went on in this dome.”

  I think about the posters out in the dome, showing all the missing people. Their families distraught, trying to find answers, like the woman on the stairs at the Hall of Records. You’d think in a dome of this size you’d eventually run into someone again. “Those people left their families to start new lives.”

  “So the Order tells you. Your mother thought they were taken against their will.”

  “What for?”

  “She thought it had to do with the Microbiology department. Your uncle said she confronted the Director, and that was when restricted access was put in place on the Microbiology and Genetics levels.”

  I reach behind me to my desk drawer and pull out the poster from the woman at the Hall of Records, and toss it to Evan. “You’re telling me that they’re performing tests on people like this? That girl looks almost like me—she’s only a couple of years older.”

  “Those departments do more than house the virus. They create new strains that need testing.”

  Had my mother uncovered something this big? People would be livid. It would bring down the Director and the Delegates. Even the Order couldn’t be trusted anymore. “So that’s why the Director wanted my mother’s notebook.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Jak was supposed to destroy it, but the Director made him hand it over first.”

  “Is there anything in it?”

  I shake my head. “I pored over that notebook for the last nine years. There isn’t one reference about B3 or her suspicions. Do you think she really had proof?”

  “The fact that they’re hiding B3 is suspicious enough. You saw the button. I wonder if that’s the only way in?”