Saying Good-bye to London

by Julie Burtinshaw

  Francis winced, but Sawyer didn’t react.

  Francis studied her carefully out of the corner of his eyes. She was wearing her usual black leggings and a man’s plaid shirt that fell to just above her knees. She didn’t look like a girl who might be pregnant—not fat or anything. Her feet were bare, and the lime-green polish on her toenails was chipped. Her whole attitude screamed casual, but the way she twirled her long hair in nervous fingers was a dead giveaway; she was tense.

  She stepped aside. “I’m making hot chocolate. Do you want some?”

  “Sure,” said Kevin.“Sounds good.”

  Sawyer led them into the kitchen, where she chatted to Kevin while she stirred the dark chocolate chunks into the hot milk. Francis saw that Kevin was still pretty tongue-tied, as he struggled for something to say, sitting there awkwardly at the small table. Despite all of his bravado, girls were foreign to him too. When Sawyer asked him how his dad was doing, he hid his pain with a nonchalant shrug. “The same. Not good.”

  “I’m sorry. I hear he’s a stand-up guy.” With a bright smile, she changed the subject. “Grab some mugs from the cupboard above your head. We’ll drink this at the table.”

  In spite of Sawyer’s efforts at politeness, it felt like a meeting, not three friends getting together for an after-school snack. Still, Francis credited his friend for doing his best to play along, praising Sawyer’s hot chocolate. “This is amazing. The only time I’ve had hot chocolate this good was in Italy.”

  Francis braced himself for a sarcastic response from Sawyer as he sat down to join them, but she just nodded politely and explained in great detail how it was done. Kevin feigned interest. It seemed they liked each other. Once, that would have meant something to Francis. Not anymore.

  It was Sawyer who brought an end to the small talk. With an apologetic nod to Kevin, she said, “We need to straighten out some misunderstandings. That’s what you’re here for, right? Helping Francis to not be a jerk?”

  “Hey,” Francis interjected, but Kevin cut him off with a hostile frown. “I think Francis has something to say first, don’t you, Francis?”

  “Yeah.” Francis inhaled; they’d talked about this last night. He hadn’t wanted to agree to it, and he didn’t want to now, but he knew he had to trust someone, and Kevin was that someone. “Sorry I was a jerk the other day when you told me, you know—”

  She cut him off. “Apology accepted. I could have been a little more tactful too. I’ve had a bit more time than you to grow used to the idea of being pregnant…I should let you know, though; I’ve invited Jack to join us. I need someone on my team too.” She glanced up at the kitchen clock. “He’s a bit late, but he’ll be here.”

  “That makes sense,” Kevin agreed before Francis lost his temper. “I mean, he’s your friend, right?”

  Sawyer shot him a grateful smile just as there was a loud knock on the door. “It’s open,” she yelled. “Francis, remember you promised not to be a jerk. This thing is bigger than us now.”

  When Jack walked in, he wore the same skinny jeans and purple shirt as the other day, but he didn’t look rumpled. Kevin’s eyes widened. The older boy carried a backpack and two plastic bags, which he dumped unceremoniously on the floor by the couch.

  Francis kicked his friend under the table. Stop staring, he tried to tell him. But Kevin couldn’t. Whether Jack didn’t notice or didn’t care was anyone’s guess. He ignored Francis and Kevin entirely, and grimaced at Sawyer. “Sorry I’m late. I’ve got some bad news.”

  Sawyer’s forehead creased. “Come and sit. What’s going on? You okay?”

  Francis braced his legs against the table. This was too much. Poor Jack. Always Jack.

  Jack pulled a cigarette out from behind his ear, put the end in his mouth, frowned, and then put it back. “I’m kicked out. I was hoping I could stay with you for a few days until I find another place.”

  This was more than Francis could handle. “I bet you were.” He flew out of his chair and it crashed to the floor. “How convenient.”

  “Whoa.” Jack took an exaggerated step back. “Grow up. Let’s not start that crap again,” he said. “Are you ever normal?”

  Kevin stood up too and clamped his hand down on Francis’s shoulder. “Sit back down.”

  Francis sat down and pushed Kevin’s hand away. “Leave me alone.”

  With a wave of his hand, Jack dismissed Francis and concentrated on Sawyer. “I’m sorry about this. All of it.”

  “Don’t be.” She gnawed on her fingernail. “Ignore him. You are always welcome here. Especially if you’re in trouble.”

  “I know, and I thank you.” Jack pulled her into a big bear hug.

  Francis watched them, his hands clasped together under the table. He counted slowly to ten in his head. It took that long for the embrace to end. When it did, Kevin let out a loud breath.

  “So tell me what happened,” Sawyer encouraged. “But first, you’ve met Francis, and this is his friend Kevin. We’re all here now.”

  Kevin stood and they shook hands.

  “You’re not going to try and kill me too, are you?” Jack teased.

  Kevin grinned. “Nah.”

  “I’m hot and sticky,” Jack apologized. “Rough shift. Nonstop double-shot, low-fat, skinny mochas all afternoon.”

  “You have a job and go to school?” Kevin asked.

  “Yeah. I’m a bit older than you guys. You’re what—fifteen?”

  “In a month,” said Kevin. “But Francis already had his birthday.”

  Jack shook his head in Sawyer’s direction. “Cradle robber!”

  She scrunched her nose at him. “Old man. Besides, I thought Francis was very mature for his age. Now I’m not so sure.”

  Francis rubbed his temples, but managed to stay silent.

  “So, how are you doing today? You look a little green,” Jack said, switching subjects. He took Sawyer’s hand. “Poor you.”

  Sawyer slumped in her seat. “A bit better now that you’re here, but not great.”

  “For Christ’s sake,” Francis muttered. “Should we leave now?”

  A warning look from Jack shut him up.

  “So, you’re homeless. That sucks.” Sawyer’s eyes softened.

  “It does. Do you think your mom will be okay with me sleeping on the couch for a few days?”

  “Yes. She loves you almost as much as I do.” She touched his arm gently. “Why’d you get kicked out of your apartment?”

  “Apartment?” Jack scoffed. “You mean that shit-hole cellar room with no windows?”

  “You can stay here for as long as you like. Like I said, Mom loves you. She thinks you are a good influence on me.”

  Francis rocked his chair on its back legs. “As opposed to me,” he sneered.

  Kevin cleared his throat. Francis had every right to be upset. Jack was crossing a line, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what that line was. His friend was right; they were way too close. If he didn’t intervene, Francis would lose it for sure. “Uh, if we could get back to the reason we’re all here and deal with Jack’s shit later?”

  “No. Let’s go.” Francis had had enough. “We’ll talk some other time, Sawyer. Maybe when your friend gets his life sorted out and it’s not all about him.”

  “Enough, Francis.” Sawyer turned to stare at him. “Kevin’s right. We need to talk about this…this…well, about me and…”

  Nobody spoke. At last Jack broke the silence. “I’m sorry. Francis has a point. It’s my fault you got off-track. So, I’ll say what we’re all thinking: Sawyer, you need to see a doctor. Nothing can be confirmed until you do.”

  “What I need is to go back to London,” Sawyer whispered. “Put this all behind me.” She looked pointedly at Francis again.

  “No.” Jack sounded exasperated Francis thought, and he understood why. “I’ve t
old you before. London is just a place. Home is where you are surrounded by people you love. Home is here. Right here!”

  “True that,” Kevin said softly. He was thinking about his dad. “Jack is right. Home is about people, not places.”

  “Thanks, Kevin.” The older boy helped himself to a sip of Sawyer’s hot chocolate. “I know I’m right. Sawyer, you’re the color of old oatmeal and your stomach is in knots. You’ve got zero energy, and you’re bitchy as hell. You’re convinced you’re pregnant, but you don’t know for sure. There is a walk-in clinic two blocks away. Let’s go now. No appointment necessary.”

  “Now? Are you out of your mind?”

  “Now. Why not? We’re all here. Otherwise, we’re just going to sit around until Francis kills me.” When nobody laughed, he added “Joke.”

  “Fine,” Sawyer agreed reluctantly. “I’ll go, but only if you shut up.”

  “Great.” Francis leapt out of his seat. “Kevin and I will head home. Sawyer, text me when you find out, if you want to—no pressure—after all, you have Jack.”

  “I won’t have to text you.” Sawyer’s eyes challenged him. “We’re all going. You too.”

  “Oh, I don’t think so. That’s nuts. We can’t all go.”

  She got up and tossed him his coat. “Yes, we can. And I don’t care how you feel about it. Let’s go. I just want to get this over with.”

  “What? Me too?”

  “Yes, you too, Kevin. Someone has to control Francis.”

  “Maybe I can help with that.” Jack stepped between Francis and Sawyer. “With a little bit of truth. If he’ll listen. I’m only going to say this once. There is nothing, I repeat, nothing going on between Sawyer and me.” His voice was low and rough. “Except that we’re friends, and that’s it.”

  “Sure.” Francis didn’t believe a word of it, but Jack’s size and tone intimidated him. “Of course I believe you. I mean, of course this is all my fault.”

  “Lose the sarcasm, kid.” Jack took a step closer to Francis, so close that Francis could feel his breath on his cheeks. “You’re just a kid. Just a stupid kid. I tried. Now let’s go, because if Sawyer changes her mind, I’m going to hold you responsible. And you are coming with us, even if I have to knock you out and carry you to the clinic.”

  “Knock it off, Jack.” Sawyer took his arm.

  “I just want to be clear that we’re all going to the clinic together.”

  “Yeah,” agreed Kevin, too quickly. “Good idea.”

  Sawyer laughed. “I’m so glad you came today.”

  Kevin blushed and headed for the door. Francis trailed behind him, wishing he were a bit bigger and a lot braver.

  They headed off down the street in pairs; Jack and Sawyer led the way. The first fat raindrops bounced off the pavement as they ducked into the clinic. To everyone’s relief, the waiting room sat empty. Sawyer went straight to the reception desk; the boys hung back. When Jack sat down, Francis took a seat on the other side of the room.

  “Yes?” The receptionist eyed Sawyer. “What can I do for you?”

  “I’d like to see a doctor.”

  “All four of you?”

  “No.” Sawyer shook her head. “I need to see a doctor, and these are my friends.”

  “Okay. Lucky for you we are not very busy right now, but you’ll have to fill out these forms.” She glanced at her computer screen. “Dr. Chung will be available in about fifteen minutes.” She handed Sawyer a clipboard, thick with papers and a pen.

  “Thanks.” Sawyer made her way back to where Jack sat. “Look at this! I have to fill out a million forms. The doctor will ask me the same questions all over again when I go in. I can’t believe you are forcing me to do this. What a waste of time.” Her voice trembled.

  “It doesn’t have to be.” Jack grinned. “We could make it fun. What if we give bogus answers? I’ll bet you she never reads the forms. Five bucks says the doctor won’t even notice.”

  “I like it,” Kevin said. He ignored Francis’s glare and crossed the room. Francis knew he had to follow or look like a real jerk.

  Sure enough, creating a make-believe history turned out to be an excellent time-killer and the receptionist had to call Sawyer’s name twice before they heard her.

  Sawyer winked at Jack and handed the clipboard back to the receptionist. “All done. We’ve answered every question, but if you need clarification, ask him.” She leaned down and kissed Jack. “Wish me luck.”

  “You don’t need luck; you need Gravol.” He pulled out his phone. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a new game. I’m not going anywhere.”

  He managed to act nonchalant until she disappeared into the exam room, then he let out a long sigh. “What a mess,” he said to no one in particular. “Her, my stupid father, everything.”

  Francis nodded. “It’s a mess, all right.”

  They sat there for a long time, nearly half an hour, until the receptionist spoke again. “If Jack and Francis could follow me, please. The doctor would like to see both of you.”

  The look of pure relief that washed over Kevin’s face made Francis smile, despite the circumstances.

  “Is she okay?” Jack wanted to know.

  The receptionist’s gaze was practiced, measured. “There is nothing seriously wrong with your friend, except that,” she said, grinning, and glanced at the chart in her hand. “She looks really good for a forty-year-old who has had heart surgery, TB, and, oh, I love this one, a sex change.”

  “Sorry.” Jack grinned sheepishly. “We were just trying to cheer her up.”

  “Follow me.” She led the boys to the door of the examination room. “Go on in,” she said.

  The room was small and brightly lit. Sawyer sat on the examination table, fully dressed in her usual leggings and purple sweater. The doctor gave them both a welcoming smile. “Please sit.”

  “Hey,” Jack said to Sawyer. “All good?”

  “Yeah,” Francis repeated, wishing he had asked first. “All good?”

  Sawyer chewed on her fingernail. Her eyes were red and a line of mascara ran down her cheek. She looked at the doctor. “She’ll tell you.”

  “Hello. I’m Dr. Chung.” The doctor was a trim woman with intelligent eyes.

  “I’m Jack, and this is Francis,” explained Jack.

  “It’s complicated,” added Sawyer.

  Dr. Chung nodded with professional coolness. “It always is. Have a seat, both of you.”

  The doctor studied each boy in turn. “Your friend is not ill. However, she is expecting a baby.” She turned to Sawyer. “So, young lady, which one is the father, or do you know?”

  The blood drained from Francis’s face, and he put his head between his knees and groaned. This wasn’t going to go over well.

  “Of course I know,” Sawyer shrieked. “It’s not like that. You’ve got it wrong.”

  The doctor gave her a searching look. “If it’s not like that, how exactly is it? Why are there two boys in this room?”

  “Jack is my best friend and the other one, well…he’s the other one, and he’s the father.”

  “Well, you’ll have to sort that out. ‘Man up’ is the expression, I believe. In the meantime, Sawyer has requested that both of you be here, and that’s fine with me. She’s asked that I confirm to both of you that she is, indeed, pregnant.”

  Francis raised his head. “With a baby?”

  “No, with an alien,” Jack snorted.

  “To continue,” Dr. Chung said, ignoring them both, “we will do an ultrasound to confirm the dates.”

  “You little shit.” Jack raised his fist at Francis. “I could smash your face.”

  “Or not.” Dr. Chung pursed her lips. “I’ll call security if I have to.”

  “No, it’s okay,” Jack said apologetically. “Like she said, there’s no way I could be the father,
despite what Francis thinks.”

  “BS,” retorted Francis.

  “Enough!” intervened Dr. Chung. “I’m not concerned about who the father is right now. If it comes to it, we can do a paternity test. But what does concern me is that Sawyer is quite pregnant. Just under four months. That means her choices are somewhat narrowed down.”

  “Four months!” Jack stared at Francis, then at Sawyer. “Idiots,” he mumbled under his breath. “I told you to go to the doctor sooner.”

  “I’m sorry,” Sawyer blurted out. “I was scared.”

  “Sawyer,” the doctor interrupted again, “is also anemic and underweight. Her baby is not getting the nourishment it needs, and neither is she.”

  “Mom is always at work. I get tired of cooking and shopping.”

  “Yes, well, I’ve prescribed prenatal vitamins, iron pills, and I strongly suggest she stop eating dinner at the corner store.”

  “That’s what I said,” offered Francis, finally finding his voice.

  “You’ve been eating at Joe’s?” Jack frowned. “God, no wonder you’re anemic. No wonder you feel sick!”

  “Joe’s is convenient,” Sawyer defended. “Hence the name ‘convenience store.’”

  Dr. Chung cleared her throat. “She feels sick because she has morning sickness. It’s perfectly common and the least of her worries. The good news is, the nausea should disappear, as it generally does after the first three or four months. Here’s a prescription. Be sure to fill this as soon as you leave here. Sawyer, I’ll need to see you a week from now, when you’ve had time to digest this news. Oh, and start eating food that’s good for you. And make sure you read this—actually, that goes for all of you. Everything you need to know you’ll find in here, but if you have any questions, any cramping or any bleeding, call the clinic. We’re open seven days a week.”

  “Okay.” Sawyer climbed down off the table. “Come on, you guys.” She sounded tired.

  “One more thing, Sawyer.” Dr. Chung’s voice was grave. “I want you to give serious thought to what you want to do. You do have options, but for now all you have to do is to take care of yourself—and talk to your mother. I’ll see you in a week’s time.”