The Patriot Girl

by Toni Lynn Cloutier

  “Mom, stop stalling and tell me about this guy. From what Jodi said, there’s more than business going on.” He held her hand. “Now can you talk to me?”

  His stubbornness mirrored his grandfather’s. He wasn’t going to let this go. She smiled and brought his hand to her lips—a gesture she missed from Dustin.

  “Did he dump you and you’re too upset to talk about it?”

  “No one was dumped.” The sooner she got this over with the better. It was time for Alex to learn the truth of the situation.

  “Is he a drunk? I know how you hate that. Oh, wait. Did he kill someone? You hate violence even more.” Alex chuckled at his own joke and popped a buttered kernel into his mouth.

  MaKayla released his hand then buried her face in her palms. This can’t be happening. She had hoped she’d never have to have this talk with her son. She looked up at Alex’s dropped jaw.

  “He killed someone?”

  Her hands shook. She sipped her drink then moistened her lips. “Yes, honey, he did.”

  “Who?”

  “He’s the other driver from Daddy’s accident.”

  “No! Mom.” His arm wrapped around her shoulder and she leaned her head against him. “Is he okay from his coma? What’d he say and do? What’s he like?”

  Alex asking a bunch of questions wasn’t the reaction she’d expected. And she couldn’t answer truthfully to some of them.

  Telling her son that Dustin said all the right things, and did things to her his father never had, wasn’t appropriate mother-and-son conversation.

  She had to cover the basics and continue to pretend their relationship was nothing more than a business deal. “He apologized. He doesn’t actually remember the accident.” She chewed some popcorn to keep from crying.

  Alex was taking the news so much better than she had. Of course, Alex hadn’t been flirted with and kissed before he learned the facts.

  Was she the only one who saw the wrong in her dating the man who had taken Paul away?

  “I always wondered how he was doing. After the coma and all. So are you two friends?”

  “No. How could I be?” She stood, removed the popcorn bowl from the table, and headed toward the kitchen. If she sat here any longer, this conversation would never end. Alex knew the truth now—end of story. “You can’t change the past, honey. I can’t make the past three years of blaming the man go away. We had a business deal. And now it’s over.”

  Alex carried the glasses behind her. “Why would you blame him, Mom? I don’t.”

  She placed the bowl on the counter and turned around. “You don’t?”

  “Not at all. Dad slid through a red light. The other driver tried to avoid us but he started sliding too. Neither one of them could stop.”

  “This is the first I’m hearing this.”

  Alex shrugged. “You never wanted to talk about what happened.”

  Her son had held onto this information? She admitted that as stubborn as she was, she probably wouldn’t have believed Alex if he’d had the courage to speak up.

  Besides, blaming Harold James had been easier to deal with than facing the idea that if she hadn’t wanted to go away for the weekend, Paul never would have been out in the storm in the first place.

  No one can change what happened in the past. But could this help in changing her future? “Well, we know he’s okay and doing well. You’ve had a long day. Time for bed.”

  “Mom, stop trying to avoid this issue. If you like him, then go for it. Jodi likes him, so he must be special.”

  MaKayla smiled at the way he emphasized special. They made their way back into the living room where Alex put out the fire, turned off the lights, and then followed her upstairs.

  “It’s confusing, honey.” Too confusing to discuss with a seventeen-year-old. “We’ll talk more in the morning.” She kissed his cheek. “It’s good to have you home.”

  He headed toward his bedroom. “Good to be home.”

  “Wait, what do you want for breakfast?”

  He blew her a kiss. “Surprise me.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  MaKayla cleaned up the breakfast mess of chocolate chip pancakes and orange juice. It was nice hearing the shower water running this morning and having the smell of Alex’s aftershave still linger even after he’d left to visit with family and friends.

  Her house felt like a home again.

  She turned on the Christmas music, dusted the furniture, and vacuumed before her guests arrived. She stared at the tree decorated with ornaments that Alex had made, beginning in his kindergarten years all the way through a family portrait he’d drawn in high school.

  She leaned forward and tried to remember the floral scent from one of a dozen air fresheners Alex used to transfer from the car to the tree after the scent had faded. There was the bull rider Alex bought home from a trip to Kentucky and the cowboy boot Paul had brought home from his Texas business trip.

  “Hey, Mom.”

  She turned around. Alex was her only link to Paul now. “Hey, sweetheart. Have fun?”

  “Yeah.” He kissed her cheek. “Grandpa said he’ll see you tomorrow at dinner.”

  “Oh, good.” She had established the tradition of cooking a Christmas dinner for her folks, as well as Paul’s parents when Alex was in diapers. Jodi and Duke’s presence always depended on how much they drank during their own family festivities. The distraction helped her get through one of the toughest times of the year after Paul’s death.

  MaKayla’d had enough walking down memory lane. She walked into the kitchen. “Go clean up. Tammy should be here soon.” There were dishes to clean up and food to spread out. She’d start with clearing the sink. Time to put on her happy face and convince herself that not having her husband or Dustin around this holiday season only made her a stronger woman.

  Tammy walked by the kitchen window and knocked. “Come in.” She smiled at the young girl as she continued to wash her silverware. “Merry Christmas Eve. Alex’s grandparents won’t be here tonight. But tomorrow you’re welcome to stop by again and—”

  “MaKayla.” Tammy’s shaky voice sent a chill up her spine.

  She turned around and followed the young girl’s gaze down to see blood seeping through the crotch of Tammy’s jeans.

  MaKayla dried her hands and went to her. “Are you having that time of the month, honey?”

  Tammy shook her head.

  “It’s okay.” She ran to the stairs and yelled up. “Alex!” She grabbed some towels from the bathroom and had Tammy sit on them. “I’ll call the rescue squad.”

  Alex bolted into the kitchen. “What’s up?”

  “Alex, help.” Tammy’s voice cracked as her eyes filled with tears.

  Her son walked around the table, saw the bloody mess, and then scooped his girlfriend up into his arms. “I’m taking her to the hospital. Call her parents.”

  MaKayla opened the front door. Her son could reach the hospital before the ambulance arrived at her house. She trusted he’d get her there safely. “Alex, drive carefully. She’ll be fine.” She settled Tammy in the passenger seat with fresh towels. “Are you in any pain, Tammy?”

  “My back hurts.”

  “Mom, get out of the way.”

  “Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I make a couple phone calls.” She slammed the door and watched her son back out of the driveway. A silent prayer was sent up as she went back inside. She had to let Tammy’s parents know first. Her shaky hand fumbled through the address book and located the number Alex had entered.

  “Happy Holidays!”

  MaKayla hesitated as the woman’s merriment rang through the line. Delivering bad news during a celebration was one of the worst feelings in the world. Not knowing how this woman would react to bad news, she had to be as calm as possible.

  She cleared her throat. “Hi, this is MaKayla Adams, Alex’s mother.”

  “Yes?”

  “Alex is on his way to the hospital with Tammy.”

  “Oh, no
. What happened? Is everything okay?”

  MaKayla explained the scene that had played out in her kitchen. She played down the amount of blood on the girl’s legs, and assured her mother that Tammy was in no pain. “I knew Alex would have her at the hospital before the rescue made it here.”

  “Thank you for calling. We’ll meet her there.”

  She dialed Jodi’s cell to cancel their get-together this evening. No answer. If they were still at Duke’s parents’, Jodi would have picked up. They must be at the club celebrating by now and the loud music was probably preventing her from hearing the ringtone.

  As much as she hated to, she didn’t have any choice but to call the club’s direct line. Maybe Jesse would be tending bar and he would answer.

  “No Bulls.”

  The familiar voice she had hoped to avoid sent a chill through her body. She’d forgotten how sweet and charming Dustin’s tone sounded—and how safe his touch made her feel. She could really use those strong arms around her right now. This was no time to reminisce. She had to hurry so she could be with her son. “Um. Is Jodi Richards there?”

  “MaKayla?”

  “Yes. Dustin?” Now she had to pretend she hadn’t recognized his voice so she didn’t sound rude by not saying hello.

  “Jodi and Duke aren’t here yet, but we’re expecting them.”

  “Can you please give her a message?”

  “Sure.”

  “Tell her I’m heading to Dalton Memorial and I’ll call her tomorrow.”

  “Sure.”

  “Thank you.” MaKayla hung up before he could ask any questions. She no longer wanted to hear his voice. Knowing he’d actually tried to avoid Paul’s car, she no longer had a reason to blame him. Who else knew about this revelation? Maybe everyone and that’s why no one besides her seemed to hold Dustin responsible for the accident.

  His scent of leather and his aftershave still lingered in her mind as if he’d recently held her. She had wanted to reach through the phone line and hold onto him, to have him tell her Tammy would be okay.

  She shook off the wishful thinking and headed out to her car. Dwelling on what she wanted but couldn’t have was a waste of time. Her focus needed to be on Alex and his girlfriend now. She would deal with her feelings for Dustin later.

  ****

  Dustin slammed the phone down. So much for his hope that last week’s trip to Oklahoma would help him get over MaKayla. A hundred miles distance couldn’t make him forget her touch, her laughter, or the sexy way she called his name.

  Hearing her voice just now only confirmed what his heart had been telling him. He loved her, and there was no way he could spend the rest of his life without her. How could he persuade her to move past their shared heartache when she couldn’t even talk to him on the phone?

  “Honey, why are you pulling your hair?”

  He turned around. Jodi sat on a barstool. “Hey, you! MaKayla called.”

  “Ah, that explains your behavior. She has that effect on me sometimes too.” Jodi laughed. “What’d she say?”

  “She’ll call you tomorrow. She had to go to Dalton Hospital.”

  “What? Why? Is Alex hurt?”

  He shrugged. “Don’t know. She hung up on me.”

  “I need to go. Can you give me a ride?”

  As much as he wanted to jump into a car and be by MaKayla’s side, she probably wouldn’t want him there. A hospital wasn’t a picnic and she probably wouldn’t appreciate the added stress of having him show up. “I’m probably the last person MaKayla wants around right now. I don’t want to upset her anymore than she must be. Where’s Duke?”

  “He dropped me off and then headed to the station for a meeting. I’ve known that girl since she was in diapers.” Jodi looked up. “You’re what she needs right now. Take me to her.”

  Screw it. If she became upset by his presence, he would wait for Jodi in the car. “Jesse,”—he tossed his friend a rag—“take over. I’ll be gone for an hour or so.” Dustin grabbed his keys from beneath the counter then reached out for Jodi’s hand. “Let’s go.”

  ****

  MaKayla hotfooted from her car to the automatic doors of the emergency room. She sat beside Alex on the bench against the wall. “Hey, honey. How is she?”

  He shrugged and pointed to the couple that stood beside the nurse’s station. “Her parents are over there. They haven’t heard anything yet.”

  Seeing him in the same emotional pain she’d been in the evening he and Paul had been in the accident broke her heart. Waiting for news was frustrating. Hopefully, the doctor would come out soon.

  Fifteen minutes later, Jodi scurried through the doors. Dustin trailed behind, removing his Stetson. MaKayla’s heart quickened and her body stiffened. What is he doing here?

  She stood and embraced her friend and then nodded at the man she desperately wanted to hold, but didn’t dare. She could get lost in his arms and right now she needed to be here for her son.

  Jodi sat beside Alex and removed her feathered black coat. “Why are you here?”

  “It’s Tammy.” MaKayla squatted in front of them and held Alex’s hand. “Thank you for coming. We’re still waiting for the doctor.”

  Dustin crouched beside MaKayla.

  “What happened?” Jodi held Alex against her side.

  She waited for her son to answer, but he kept his head down. “Tammy came over around seven-thirty and started bleeding—down there. She said her back hurt…” MaKayla glanced over at Dustin. He had one hand on his forehead, the other on the floor to steady himself. His coloring had changed from tan to white. She touched his arm. “Dustin, are you okay?”

  If she didn’t know better, she’d believe he was on something with the way his head slowly turned to face her. She wasn’t prepared for the look of shock on his face. His eyes had widened and his mouth gaped open.

  He staggered as he stood up. “Excuse me. I need some air.”

  She watched him sway to the doors and then disappear outside before she faced her best friend. “Why did you bring him here?”

  “He’s my ride. Go make sure he’s okay.” Jodi waved her away, pulling Alex closer and kissing his temple.

  There was no use in arguing. Dustin had the look MaKayla had seen just before people passed out. She had to make sure he was okay and possibly go get him some help.

  She stepped out into in the frigid air and crossed her arms. She searched the area, but he was gone.

  MaKayla walked around the building and found him. One booted foot leaned against the brick wall, and his head was tilted upward.

  Something had rattled his cage. This time his being upset had nothing to do with the two of them. She coughed to announce her presence but he didn’t move.

  “Dustin?”

  “I remember, MaKayla.”

  She stepped closer. “Remember what?”

  He lowered his head and faced her. “That night is all coming back to me now.”

  “The accident?”

  He raked his fingers through his hair then placed his hat on his head. “What you described in there is what happened to my wife. She hadn’t been feeling good for a couple days so I took her out to dinner hoping to cheer her up. Halfway home, she started bleeding. I drove her straight to the hospital. And the blood,”—he shook his head—“she’d lost so much damned blood.”

  MaKayla wanted to reach out and tell him she was sorry for what he’d been through. But if she held him in her arms she was afraid she’d never let go.

  She let him continue remembering.

  “They did an emergency c-section, but they couldn’t save her. I lost it when I saw her lifeless body on the table. Then I saw Melissa, so beautiful and so much like Liz. I panicked—How was I going to raise a child on my own? I needed air. So I left. I was heading toward Jesse’s old place. Hoping he was there, I guess. Maybe all these years I felt guilty because deep down I knew I shouldn’t have been behind the wheel that night.”

  She could tell he was fighting
to hold back tears. Her lungs couldn’t capture enough air and her legs refused to move forward to hold him. There were two sides to every story and for the past three years, she’d only known her own. And she’d been wrong—so wrong about everything.

  Dustin, too, had lost his spouse that evening. Seeing his eyes glisten in the lights, she realized he’d suffered as she had—differently, but for no other reason than guilt.

  Dustin had tried to avoid Alex and Paul, so he wasn’t to blame. And it was time she let go and stopped blaming herself for wanting a vacation with her family.

  She inhaled deeply and in two large steps, she reached him. Her body couldn’t get any closer as her arms wrapped around his neck. Her eyes filled with tears and a hard swallow didn’t relax the glottis in her throat. “Oh, Dustin, I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m the one who’s sorry, MaKayla. You have every right to blame me for what happened. I shouldn’t have been behind the wheel in the condition I was in. Maybe if I hadn’t been in the wrong place—if I could change what happened, I would.”

  She pulled back and cupped his face in her palms. “Alex told me you tried to steer away but slid too. I know that now. You can’t beat yourself up for being there.”

  His lips came down on hers. “I’m sorry.”

  “Shh.” She put her finger over his lips. “We need to talk more, but not now.” She stepped back. “I need to be inside for my son at this moment.”

  “I’ve missed you.”

  “I know.” It was not because Jodi reminded her every day, but because she could feel him in her heart.

  His lips pressed against hers, harder this time. Her mouth hesitated to open when his tongue glided against her lips, but the attraction was too strong to ignore. Her tongue greeted his with all the passion she’d been denying.

  All she wanted was for the hurt, pain, guilt, and anger to disappear for them both—those things, and for Tammy to not be in the hospital. And for this kiss to last the rest of her life.

  He pulled back. “I’ll give you all the time you need to get used to us, but I’m not ever going to give up. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Nodding, she dabbed her moist lips with the back of her hand. He wasn’t lying. He still sent her flowers every week. Now was neither the time nor place to figure out their future.