Shattered Emotions (Redwood Pack)

by Ryan, Carrie Ann

  Goddess, that pain had almost been too much for him to bear—for Adam and Maddox. It was little wonder Maddox had tried to put a distance between him and his brother after Adam had repeatedly shaken off his help. There was only so much most Omegas could take before he broke down and sobbed uncontrollably.

  Not that he did that.

  No, he was stronger than that. He buried it all and worked with what he could. He could shut out the mid-level emotions, the ones that ran through the Pack daily. The high-level happiness was almost too overwhelming sometimes.

  He thought back to the time Mel and Kade, his brother and Heir, had announced their pregnancy. The joy in the air had been so thick, so overwhelming, that Maddox had to set himself apart from the celebration.

  Like usual.

  The elation and cheer sometimes did help tone down the pain and angst within the Pack. For every person within the web who smiled, there was another who cried, and Maddox felt it all.

  It was a wonder he didn’t go freaking crazy.

  “Maddox?”

  He started at the sound of Ellie’s voice.

  Ellie.

  Why was she talking to him?

  She never talked to him.

  They had an understanding. He wouldn’t talk to her, and she wouldn’t talk to him. That way they’d get over each other and their wolves would settle down, while she mated with North and made happy little pups.

  It had never been spoken aloud, but damn it, it was their agreement.

  Okay, fine Ellie hadn’t mentioned it, but he’d live in his own denial and be fine with it.

  “Yes?” he asked, his voice gruff.

  “You’re just standing there watching the Pack. I think it’s freaking out the children.”

  Maddox frowned and looked at the group of pups around them, all standing still, their eyes wide. One of the little girl’s lip trembled, and Maddox cursed inwardly. It seemed that his scar and overall attitude scared everyone these days.

  “Sorry, just thinking,” he mumbled.

  “They’re about to start,” Ellie whispered, then left to stand by North without another word. It was as if standing by him hurt too much to deal with.

  Well, it wasn’t a fucking picnic for him either.

  “Uncle Maddox?” Finn, Mel and Kade’s son, asked as he walked toward him.

  Maddox grinned at the little boy who would one day be Alpha and had so recently been broken beyond repair—or so most had thought.

  He reached down and picked his nephew up, needing the comfort himself. He didn’t know why, but Finn settled him more than anyone else. If Maddox didn’t know better, he’d say Finn could have been the future Omega, but no, since he was slated to be alpha, it must have been just the strength of his character that shone through.

  The little boy would make a great Alpha one day.

  “You ready to see Uncle Adam and Aunt Bay kiss?” Maddox asked, and Finn shrugged. At two years old, Finn didn’t get the whole idea of cooties yet. It would come.

  The rest of the family stood upfront surrounding Bay and Adam as Maddox made his way to stand near them, Finn still in his hold. He moved so he could stand by Mel and Kade, that way they knew their son was safe. He couldn’t blame them for the worry seeping off them. After all, they’d almost lost Finn before.

  Jasper and Willow stood beside them, their daughter Brie in Jasper’s arms. It never failed to amuse Maddox to see the big bad Beta holding the little girl with such reverence. Across from them, Hannah stood between his brother, Reed, and their mate, Josh, each of the men holding one of their twins. Again, the sight of the big men going soft and holding their babies made Maddox think it was all worthwhile. Beside them, Cailin, North, and Ellie stood, though Ellie stood apart from them, as if she didn’t want to be there.

  After all, because she hadn’t officially mated North—or himself, no, don’t think about that—she wasn’t family, but that didn’t stop the Jamensons from wanting her there.

  His parents stood at the top of the circle and began the ceremony. Maddox tuned out the words; he had to. The joy was so overwhelming he felt as though he was going to burst. Each of family members seemed to radiate happiness and promises of a future. Sweat rolled down his back as he fought to take it all in.

  Sometimes too many good feelings were as bad as the painful ones, but he had to stick through it. He’d scream and curse at the goddess for his powers later.

  His gaze met Ellie’s, and he froze, all thoughts of happiness fleeing him.

  He couldn’t tell what she was feeling because even a bond he should have held with her through the Omega was non-existent, but he saw it in her eyes—envy…and pity.

  She knew what he was dealing with.

  Yet, she wanted what Bay and Adam had.

  Maybe North would help with that.

  Maddox couldn’t do it.

  The crowd started to clap, and Finn touched his cheek. He met his nephew’s eyes and nodded. Yes, it was time to act like the happy brother, not the angst-filled Omega he seemed to be lately.

  Maddox looked at the happy couple as they kissed, Adam picking Bay up easily, as if he hadn’t lost his leg in the war with the Centrals. Bay’s long red hair framed her face as the wind picked up, blowing strands around both her and Adam, bringing them even closer together.

  A child’s scream pierced the celebration, and Maddox tensed.

  “What the hell?” Kade asked as he took Finn from Maddox’s arms and handed him to Mel. “Take Finn. We’re going to find out what that was.”

  Mel clutched Finn close but looked as if she wanted to join them. He pressed a hard kiss to his mate’s lips then turned toward Maddox and the rest of his brothers.

  Adam growled, a line forming between his brows. He ran a hand up and down his mate’s arm as Bay frowned as well. Adam was the Enforcer, meaning he could sense danger and threats from outside forces. “I don’t sense anything. It’s not from outside the Pack.”

  Maddox met his brother’s gaze, each of them knowing what that meant. If Adam couldn’t feel it, that meant it was from inside the Pack.

  The brothers and other pack members ran in the direction of the scream. Pain, tension, worry, and anger pulsed at Maddox through the bonds, and he had to tamp them down. He couldn’t focus on what was in front of him if he worried about what was within him. Another scream echoed amongst the trees, and the sense of dread that had only been a small ball before now grew, tearing at his stomach, sending shivers down his spine.

  Gina, the daughter of Mel and Kade’s closest friends, Larissa and Neil, ran up to them, tears running down her face, her dress torn and muddy. Her skin was as pale as a ghost, her eyes wide, haunted.

  Kade picked her up and held her close. “What is it, baby?”

  “Mom…” The little girl hiccupped and buried her head into Kade’s neck.

  Maddox kept running, reached down, and felt for the thread that connected him to Larissa and Neil. With all the emotions running through the day, he hadn’t been able to deal with them all, so he’d blocked down some of them.

  He stopped and closed his eyes, searching for the thread but coming up empty.

  Oh, no.

  No.

  Maddox heard Jasper’s howl of anguish when he opened his eyes, knowing what he’d find when he stepped closer.

  Larissa and Neil lay in a heap of tangled limbs and blood, their eyes vacant, their bodies cooling.

  Melanie came running behind him, her scream tearing through him. The emotions of the others—terror, grief, and vengeance—slapped at him.

  The scene was out of a horror novel. The scent of death lingered in the air, but that’s not what scared him.

  No, it was the underlying scent of another that made his body shake as his wolf clawed at his skin. It wasn’t a new scent or a wrong scent. No, this one was familiar, almost comforting, and yet it was now all over the dead couple, blending with their fading ones.

  It was the spicy scent of the most decadent dessert, the
scent that haunted his dreams and, right now, filled him with dread.

  Ellie.

  Maddox looked over his shoulder as she walked toward him, the scent intensifying as her presence added another layer to the older scent trail. Her eyes were wide, unbelieving.

  The others froze. Wolves that were not family growled as she came to his side.

  She couldn’t have done this.

  The evidence was there…wasn’t it?

  He took her hand, and she gasped at the unfamiliar contact.

  Her soft skin yielded under his, and he brought her closer, needing to protect her even though she wasn’t his. His wolf needed to do this more than it needed air.

  There had to be another explanation because, if there wasn’t, the woman he’d hidden from, the woman who could have been his mate, had just signed her own death warrant.

  Chapter 2

  Ellie Reyes gripped Maddox’s hand as tight as she could. Yes, it was the first time he’d voluntary touched her since he’d picked her up out of the back of the Jeep when they’d first met, but, honestly, that wasn’t important now.

  She’d think about the calloused hands of a hard worker—one who helped his Pack and brothers, not necessarily in his job—and how they would feel against her skin. She’d think about what it all meant later.

  Maybe later she could even relish his touch and imagine the scents of wolf and forest washing over her.

  Later.

  Right now, all she wanted to do was hide in a corner so the others would stop staring at her. Or, she could raise her chin at them all and show them they couldn’t hurt her. Her wolf whimpered at the thought, not knowing if that were possible. She didn’t know if she was broken or strong anymore.

  She’d been hurt far more than they could ever imagine. They had no idea what she could endure. Oh, they’d all guessed and given her their pitying looks, but they didn’t know.

  They couldn’t know.

  So instead of hiding like she so desperately wanted to do, she gripped Maddox’s hand harder, needing his strength, and raised her chin to the onlookers. The Jamensons looked at her with a mix of confusion and anger—though she didn’t know if the anger was aimed directly at her or the situation itself.

  The others though…

  She swallowed hard, and Maddox squeezed her hand.

  Oh, thank the goddess he’s here.

  No, she couldn’t think it that way.

  He wasn’t really here, not with her. He’d made that perfectly clear when he’d walked away from her and what they could be.

  A growl sounded behind her, bringing her out of the thoughts of what could have been, forcing her to stand on edge.

  The others, the ones who hadn’t readily accepted her because of the blood in her veins, had already condemned her. She’d always known she’d been living on borrowed time, but she hadn’t thought it would end like this.

  She was a wolf for hell’s sake. She couldn’t just back down and show her belly in weakness. The others would kill her in an instant if they thought they could. Only the good graces of the Jamensons…and her connection to Maddox kept her alive. She knew that and wouldn’t have broken that trust no matter what.

  Her scent wrapped around two dead bodies—two bodies of people Kade and Mel, the Heir mated pair, cared about, and that didn’t help matters.

  Ellie hadn’t killed them, but someone had wanted to make sure it looked like she had.

  Mel, shaking with sobs, had lain her body on top of Larissa’s. Grief slid through Ellie like an old friend. She knew that feeling—had almost drowned in that feeling. Yet, it wasn’t grief over what she was about to lose—what she’d already lost.

  She had nothing left of herself. Her brother, Corbin, had taken almost everything from her, and Maddox’s rejection had stripped the last of it.

  She’s been an empty shell for so long it barely seemed important to her anymore that the evidence condemned her. What mattered was that two people were dead, a lovely witch who took no attitude from anyone and a wolf who cared about everyone in his path.

  Two parents who’d left two little children in this world as they left to commune with the goddess.

  They’d been taken from this world, and their bodies now lay prone in a grotesque fashion.

  And the others blamed her.

  For a moment, just a moment, she thought about lying and saying she’d done it. If she did, maybe the pain would go away, that never-ending ache from a wound that would never heal. The scars on her back and legs proved that some things could heal, but didn’t ensure recovery. The scars on her heart still bled with each breathe, each day that she tried to act normal.

  Maybe it wasn’t worth it anymore.

  Her wolf dug its claws into her from the inside, and she squeezed Maddox’s hand for strength, for that anchor.

  Her wolf, despite being beaten beyond hope, didn’t want to die today.

  Nor did Ellie.

  Kade, the Heir to the Redwood Pack, the one who would one day take his father’s place as Alpha, could feel the souls of the Pack through this connection. He had sworn his life to his Pack’s protection, and he now knelt and picked up his mate, cradling her to his chest.

  The act was so gentle, yet so heartbreaking, that Ellie wanted to scream. It wasn’t fair that Mel had to feel this, just as it wasn’t fair that Ellie would never have that mate to hold her and tell her it was all right.

  Because it would never be all right.

  People were dying all around her, and she couldn’t do anything to stop it.

  She was just the Central’s princess—the only one left.

  Kade walked past them all, Mel sobbing into his shoulder. They didn’t have to act strong in front of the others right now, not when their grief was so tactile, so new. The others knew that there would be vengeance, of that everyone was sure.

  “We’re just going to let this one live?” one of the wolves, Patrick if she remembered correctly, asked, a growl escaping his lips.

  Jasper, the Beta of the Pack, the one who took care of their needs even when they didn’t know they had them, growled back, his eyes glowing gold.

  These Jamensons were so different from the hierarchy of the Centrals. Where the Centrals ruled by fear and torture, the Jamensons ruled with power and strength, but not threats—not unless needed.

  Patrick snarled but bared his neck in submission. Patrick might have been a hothead, but there was no comparison to the type of power the Jamensons held. Everyone knew who held the powers of the alpha, the hierarchy of strength, and this Patrick was nowhere close.

  “Calm yourself, Patrick,” Jasper ordered. “We don’t know what happened yet.”

  “You can smell her on them,” another wolf, Donald, said, his voice not as firm as Patrick’s but his words equally as condemning.

  Maddox pulled her behind him, his hand still firmly tangled with hers. Her heart leapt in her throat at the action, but she couldn’t let him get hurt for her.

  No, that would hurt more than her own heartbreak.

  She tried to move around him, and he pulled her back, a soft growl escaping his lips. Apparently, his wolf was riding him hard, and she didn’t want to force him to break his concentration or his control, not when there might be a fight for dominance soon.

  Later she’d tell him not to bother protecting her, not when she wasn’t his responsibility.

  She wasn’t his mate by bond.

  “You need to back off, Donald,” Maddox said, his voice low but still deadly, as if he’d growled with all his power.

  “Oh, really?” Patrick asked, contempt in his gaze. “You’re going to defend this Central bitch even though you wouldn’t mate her? She’s not good enough for you, but she’s special enough for you to keep around after she kills our people?”

  Before Ellie could blink, Maddox had the other man on the ground, his hand wrapped around Patrick’s throat.

  “Did you just call a member of our Pack a bitch?” Maddox growled low, dangerous.<
br />
  Ellie’s wolf rose to the surface, the need to protect her mate—even a mate who didn’t want her—all but bringing her to her knees.

  North came to her side, blocking her from any sneak attack, and she wanted to curse. As much as she loved North as the man who’d taken care of her when she’d needed it, she wasn’t his mate—despite what others seemed to believe. She didn’t want him by her side when her wolf so badly wanted to kneel by Maddox, fighting for herself and rejoicing in the fact he was doing the same.

  North in her path and the fact that she had no idea why Maddox was acting the way he was stopped her. The last thing she needed was to stand in the way and cause harm to someone she cared about.

  Patrick tried to answer, but Maddox didn’t let him. He merely pressed down on the other wolf’s neck harder.

  “No, don’t answer, I don’t want to hear it. If I hear you calling any of our women that name again, I’ll make you regret everything you’ve ever done. Do you understand me? And, remember, I don’t need to physically touch you to hurt you. I’m the fucking Omega. All I need to do is give you a fraction of what I feel, and you’ll be writhing on the floor.”

  His brothers turned and narrowed their eyes at his threat, but didn’t say anything.

  A slight pain slid through her like a small burn. He’d only protected her because he’d protect any woman in his Pack. It wasn’t because she was special. It was because he was the Omega, and it was his duty to care for the ones in his hold.

  It wasn’t because she was his Ellie.

  She’d never be his Ellie.

  “Maddox,” Adam whispered behind his brother.

  “What?” Maddox asked, disgust in his tone. “You know that’s my strength. The only reason I don’t do it is because I don’t think people deserve the pain, anguish, and death I feel on a daily basis. I’ll gladly share it with you, though, dear Patrick.”

  Ellie stood still, her knees locked. This wasn’t the Maddox she was used to. He didn’t growl at others; he didn’t yell or threaten.

  Yet she didn’t fault him for his words. She didn’t envy his burden, though she would gladly take it off his shoulders…or at least share it if they could have been mates. As a mate of any other position in the pack, they would share power. It had to be the same for an Omega hopefully.